Twilight Reflected in Brown Eyes
by mcgt
Summary: Bella Swan is in for the shock of her life when Edward Cullen comes back into her life 7 years after graduation. Can the scars from her past be healed by the reclusive musician or will she shut him out like everyone else since the accident 4 years ago.
1. Moving on

**TWILIGHT REFLECTED IN BROWN EYES**

**Bella Swan is in for the shock of her life when Edward Cullen comes back into her life 7 years after graduation. Can the scars from her past be healed by the reclusive musician or will she shut him out like she has everyone else since the fateful accident four years ago. **

_Rated T (but I reserve the right to change it to M in later chapters)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight – The lovely Stephanie Meyer does – I on the other hand own an accident prone dog and a degree I'm not really using._

_A/N – this is my first Fanfic – so please be kind. I don't mind constructive criticism, but don't flame. It's just not nice. The story will move along very quickly, this chapter is just setting some background info for you all. _

_HUGE THANKS to my lovely betas Tara & famouslyso for correcting my sucky grammar & tense issues. Any errors that are still in this chapter are mine alone. _

_B/E, Canon, slightly OOC, AU/AH_

**Moving On**

_Just this morning  
I took a big long look around  
I've lived it up and loved it up  
And done it in this town  
Life goes on  
Look like it's time  
For moving on_

_I'm Moving On / B.B. King  
_

I took one last look at the tiny little apartment that had been my home for the last year. It was cozy enough for one person, but lacked the warmth that would have made it home. It had high ceilings with curved archways reminiscent of the era it was built in - old Hollywood with all the glamour and dazzle that seemed to have been wiped away with the grime and smog of the now bustling city.

I was moving on up, I thought wistfully to myself. I smiled and continued humming the old Jefferson's theme quietly to myself.

"Bella, are we all set?" I jumped at the sound of Alice's voice shaking me out of my reminiscing. "Jasper is waiting in the truck and you know how impatient he gets. So shake a tail-feather and let's get out of this dump." I looked over at my tiny friend and smiled.

"I'll be there in a second, just want to do one last walk through to make sure I didn't leave anything," I called over my shoulder as I stalked down the long corridor leading to my old bedroom.

I glanced around, opening the closet to make sure I was only leaving a little dust. Comfortable that I had taken everything, I walked back down the hall to the family room to look at the lovely view that I had of CBS studios from the window.

"Well, I sure won't miss this," I said, rolling my eyes at the obnoxious billboard that was touting the newest and dumbest reality show scheduled to start in the Fall.

When I had first moved to LA almost a year ago, I never would have thought that my life would be going so well. I had a successful career that I loved and was finally figuring out where the heck I was going in the sprawling city. I never expected to like this place, but for some reason I did. I loved the sun, the cement sprawl and the heat. I also didn't mind that everyone here was gorgeous, as it kept people from really noticing me. I liked to stay under the radar, which is probably why I got into radio in the first place. I was basically anonymous except for the few fans that would come out to some of the promotions that I was required to do.

I had met my friend Alice the first day of work and she had told me not even five minutes later that we were going to be best friends. I knew from that moment on to never bet against Alice.

Alice produced for my morning show, B-Girl in the AM on KDLE, an adult contemporary, indie station. I started working there a year ago after they picked me up from their Denver syndicate. Rumors were that I replaced Tyler Crowley after an incident one morning when he was interviewing some recovering porn star named Lauren who had written a book about turning your life around. Tyler was a notorious drug user and womanizer. He supposedly thought snorting a line of coke off the chest of the lovely Lauren while on the air was a brilliant idea. Needless to say the higher ups were not pleased and fired him on the spot. So I was called up from the minors.

Jasper played the part of Alice's' devoted husband. He was a famous music producer who worked with the likes of everyone from Gomez to Gwen Stefani; from Eminem to Eve; the list went on and on. He really was a genius and a very well regarded one at that. I loved looking around their house; it was like a rock and roll museum with all of the guitars, drum sticks, platinum albums and photographs of the who's who in the music industry.

They lived up in Pacific Palisades in a gorgeous terra cotta Spanish tiled mansion. I think they were even once neighbors with the Shriver/Schwarzenegger's. I was intimidated by them as they really were like two peas in a pod and all the other lame clichés that were out there. He completed her and she him. Alice didn't need to work, but was never one to be a trophy wife sitting at home working on a charity board and getting her nails done every other day. Alice was alive and needed to stay busy as much as she needed to breathe. Her enthusiasm also made her hard to say no to, which was why she was so good at her job.

I shook my head a little, shaking the foggy memories of my time here and shut the door on the last year of my life. I walked down the paint chipped hallway and descended the stairs. I knocked on the manager's door hoping that he would be out and I could just slip my key through his mail slot. Unfortunately for me, the door creaked open to the stench of stale beer and rotting food. I stepped back reflexively as Mike Newton, the manager of my building, leaned up against the door in a ratty white tank top and dirty jeans. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair looked like it hadn't been washed in over a week.

He sneered at me and asked, "What can I do for you Bella babe?" Inwardly groaning, I held out my key and dropped it into his open palm.

"I'm just dropping off my key. The place is all cleaned out, so you can go check it out when you can. I left my forwarding information with the property management company," I mumbled, backing slowly away from this creepy man. "You can have them send me my security deposit there." I shouted over my shoulder heading for the door, never looking back.

The sunlight was brilliant as I stepped down off the entry way and onto the sidewalk where my rental truck was waiting with the only two friends I had in all of LA. I grabbed the tortoiseshell Gucci sunglasses out of my purse; a birthday present from Alice, placed them on over my squinting eyes and headed for the U-Haul where Jasper was waiting impatiently.

"Hey Bella, we good?" Jasper shouted as I rounded to the passenger side, yanking the heavy door open to find my two friends beaming at me.

"Yep, we're good. Thanks so much for helping me move, you have no idea how much longer it would have taken me if it was just me. There's some beer back at the house and I'll order some pizzas when we get there."

As if that would make spending a day loading and unloading all of my worldly possessions worth a precious Saturday to them.

"No worries, Bella. You know we're always here for you," Alice stated truthfully. Alice really was my best friend and had been there to help me acclimate to the city when I arrived.

"I wouldn't want you killing yourself trying to move your book collection down those stairs!" She giggled gleefully knowing full well that would probably have been a likely scenario.

Jasper started the truck with a rumble from its engine and we turned down Beverly Boulevard and headed west towards my new home in Santa Monica.

Thirty minutes later we were pulling onto 9th and California and into my new driveway.

"Oh Bella, it's so cute!" Alice exclaimed, pushing me out the door so she could get out and look around.

"Thanks Alice. It's a bit of a fixer upper, but with the location and my budget, it was the best I could do for now," I said walking towards the front door. "Thankfully the owner was a lovely older woman who only wanted to sell it to someone who wasn't going to knock it down and build some large monstrosity in its place."

I remember meeting Mrs. Cope, the charming frail woman who used to live here. She had made a stipulation to her realtor that she wanted to meet all potential buyers and speak to them privately. She quizzed us all about what our intentions were for the home and wanted to know a little more about each one of us. I must have passed the test, as she sold it to me for about $50,000 under the market price. She had to move in with her son now that she was too old to take care of the place. I doubt the son was pleased that his mother sold it for so much less than what she could have gotten for it had it not held sentimental value to her. She was so easy to talk to that I spilled all about my past, even things that I hadn't told anyone else since I left the Pacific Northwest for Denver 3 years earlier.

I put the key in the lock and pushed open the heavy wooden door and held it for Alice and Jasper to proceed ahead of me into the tiny bungalow. The sun was shining in through the foyer window, basking the room in a lovely amber glow. Alice scurried off to see the rest of the currently empty house, while I slowly slid my hands lovingly over the old intricately carved wooden hearth that adorned the wall above the simple fireplace in my living room. The room was small but cozy with a large picture window facing the front yard with a window seat right below it that I figured would be my favorite place to spend the evenings reading my favorite books. The room was painted a lovely robin's egg blue that would actually go quite well with the furniture I already had. It had beautiful white crown molding and golden hardwood floors. I heard Alice and Jasper circling around back to where I was standing and gushing over my new home.

"OhmygoshBellathishassomuchpotential. It'ssoquaintandcozyandisjustperfectforyou," she exclaimed all in one breath.

I smiled and asked, "So what's your favorite part?"

"The master bathroom actually. I'm a sucker for a claw foot tub," she grinned back at me.

Before I could respond, she was glancing over my shoulder and out the window in the kitchen.

"Jasper, did you see the yard yet?" She squealed before heading out the back door. Jasper and I slowly followed her out the door and smiled as she twirled around the middle of my tiny lawn like a 5-year-old.

Jasper nudged me and said, "I think she likes it," and gave me a little wink.

If there was one thing about Alice that everyone loved, it was how infectious her enthusiasm was. You just couldn't stop smiling when she started going off on an excited tangent.

Three hours later we were sitting on the floor drinking the remains of the 12-pack that was in my fridge and the barbeque pizza that the local pizza joint was known for. I looked around my home and realized that I had a long day of unpacking ahead of me tomorrow.

"So Bella, what are you going to do first?" Alice asked as she got up to throw her plate away.

"You know, I think I may start by unpacking the kitchen and bedroom - the rest will probably have to wait until next weekend. I have some promotional events I have to attend this week, so I don't think I'll have time to do much around here before then," I said picking up the pizza box and setting it on the counter.

"Are you planning on painting? Because I think your bedroom would look heavenly in pale yellow with all the dark wood accents."

"You know, I'm not sure about painting really, Alice. You know me; I'd probably stick my foot in the paint can and have to have it surgically removed." I grimaced just thinking about how true the statement really was.

"Oh Bella, where is your sense of adventure?" she giggled, leaning down to give Jasper a quick hug. "We need to head out, as Jasper has a session tomorrow morning with some hot new thing," she continued as she grabbed Jasper's arm and pulled him up from the couch.

"Bella, the place really does have a lot of charm. Please let us know if you need any help; painting, wiring, moving furniture, anything. I don't want you hurting yourself," he said giving me a quick hug before grabbing Alice's hand and heading for the door.

"Alright Bella, be sure to call me if you want decorating ideas, I'm chock full of them!" she said tapping at her head. "Jazz and I are only 15 minutes away. I'll see you bright and early Monday and don't forget to read up on our guest for Monday's show. It's an exclusive and could really give us a jump in the ratings," she said, waving her hand over her shoulder as they walked out of my house. She turned back and whispered, "I'll have to thank Jasper properly later," giving me a sly wink and walking into the darkness.

"Thanks Alice! Thanks Jasper! I wouldn't have been able to do all this without you! " I shouted after them as they started to pull out of the driveway.

I wonder what Jasper had to do with this? _It's probably just one of his clients_, I thought to myself closing the door and locking it behind me.

I looked around my little bungalow, amid the stacks of boxes and furniture that were scattered about waiting to find their new place in my house and grinned to myself knowing that I was finally home.

Suddenly realizing I was bone tired, I walked slowly to the back of the house and fumbled through some boxes until I found the one that held the sheets to my bed. I lovingly picked them up and rubbed my face into the soft creamy material. I knew Alice was a fashion plate, but my heart belonged to fine Egyptian 1000 thread count sheets. I stood up as if standing in front of an AA meeting and said, "Hello, my name is Bella and I'm a sheet whore!" I laughed at my own inside joke and quickly made the bed and threw on one of the blankets that I found in the same box. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, set the alarm for 8 AM. Throwing my clothes off into a heap at the side of the bed, I slid under the covers and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the smooth silky pillowcase beneath me.

**EPOV**

I couldn't believe the moving company was now over an hour late. As if I had time to spare. 'My only free Saturday for the next month and I'm sitting around waiting for a fucking moving truck, I grumbled to myself.

I looked around the condo that I'd had since I moved here for college seven years ago. My parents had purchased the place knowing that Southern California real estate was a pretty good investment. They said that if I wanted to purchase it from them after finishing up at UCLA, they would sell it to me for what they paid for it. I never took them up on their offer. I was only moving now because I wanted to get a bigger place, one that was a bit more secure and I had longed to live at the beach for too long now. I could have moved sooner but had gotten busy and lazy. I hardly spent much time there aside from sleeping so it didn't seem necessary until, well… it did.

I looked up when I heard the rumble of what was hopefully my moving truck. I watched as three burly men got out and ambled towards my front door. I opened it before they even had a chance to knock.

"Hi guys, it's about time you got here," I said gruffly, a little under my breath but loud enough for them to hear.

"Sorry about that Mr. Masen. We ended up going the wrong way on Robertson and had to turn around. No easy feat with the truck," he explained looking somewhat sheepish.

"Well, let's make up for lost time. I need to get this done today." I waved at my surroundings, telling them to start where they like. I took my newspaper and cup of coffee and sat on the deck that overlooked Cheviot Hills Park and watched an older man wandering around in the tall grass probably looking for his stray golf ball based on the bag slung over his shoulder.

I leaned back against the side of the building and thought back to when I moved in. I had just flown in from SEATAC airport earlier in the day and took a cab to my new humble abode. Although for most college students being able to live in your own apartment was a perk not many could afford, especially in Los Angeles, my parents wanted me to be focused and not have to compromise my studies or my music because I had distracting roommates. They had always been very understanding like that. I went to UCLA to study medicine, and I was proud that I was able to say I did graduate pre-med, but I never went on to medical school; my life took a totally different path after my junior year. I remained diligent in my studies though, as I knew that I would regret it if I never finished undergrad.

I heard a crash from upstairs, shaking me from my thoughts. I stood up, sighing heavily, to see what the movers had already broken.

When I walked back into the house, the smaller of the moving men came running down the stairs as if knowing I would be less angry if he fessed up to his error right away.

"Mr. Masen, I'm so so sorry," the man panted, obviously out of breath after running down the stairs. "I lost my grip and now the nightstand next to your bed has a crack in it. I'm so very sorry, and obviously Atlas Moving will cover the damages, it wasn't an antique was it?" he asked looking up with apologetic eyes.

"No worries, it wasn't anything sentimental. I'm sure I can pick up a replacement for it to match the rest of the set – it wasn't overly valuable. Thanks for telling me though," I stated, remaining calmer than I thought possible. Perhaps knowing that I could easily replace the whole set if I wanted to now made me more forgiving than if I had still been the same starving student from many years ago.

I spent the rest of the two hours working on my laptop, trying to work out my schedule for the upcoming week and answering e-mails that I was trying to avoid.

The moving truck pulled out of my complex around 1 p.m. saying that it would be about two and a half hours until they reached my new home in Malibu. I wondered why it would take them so long, but shrugged and decided to finish picking up the final remnants of the last 7 years.

Placing the cooler filled with my refrigerator's contents into the back of my car, I turned to look one last time at my first home away from home. It stirred a lot of memories up for me; most I cherished and some I would be glad to forget once I pulled away from the curb.

I pulled the door shut and sat for a moment before turning the key, lost in all the memories that I was now leaving behind.

I remembered cooking my first meal and washing my first load of laundry – of course I turned all of my white towels pink. It took me a long time to live that down with the buddies that came over for our weekly poker night. I remember losing my virginity after one of our keg parties and I remember coming home to a naked stranger in my apartment waiting to attack me. This was when I decided that I needed to move somewhere that could guarantee me a little more security than my condo complex could. Thankfully the woman was more mentally dangerous than physically, but it still shook me to the core that someone could access my home so easily.

I turned the key to my Audi R8 and heard the engine purr to life. I was sad when I had to trade in my beloved Volvo, but after serving me well for eight years, it was time to let the old girl go. I peeled out of the cul-de-sac where my condo sat and didn't once look in my rearview mirror.

I cruised down to I-10 and headed west, toward my future. I drove down the Pacific Coast Highway, cursing the slow moving traffic that always plagued the road on a beautiful Saturday. It finally cleared up once I made it past Will Rogers State Beach and I looked out the window towards the deep blue Pacific Ocean. I had the windows down, letting the salty air clear my mind from the disturbing images that I couldn't help but remember about my attack. My therapist had said that it would take me a while to get over the loss of security that I once held so easily and now I wondered if I ever would get it back. It's not like I could turn back time and go back to being an unknown med student.

Thirty minutes later I pulled up to my new home. I quickly punched in the code to my security gate and pulled up to the four car garage. I hastily got out and pulled the bags and cooler that were in the trunk inside. One of the many reasons I picked this place was that it was private…well as private as you can get in Malibu. The house sat on a bluff overlooking the ocean with a narrow staircase the led down to a private cove with a small sandy beach that was miniscule during high tide. Luckily I didn't have any neighbors since the bluff jutted off the PCH by a few hundred yards. It was a Spanish style hacienda with sweeping views of the ocean, covered in large arched windows and doorways. It was absolutely breathtaking and after all the hard work my mother had put in decorating – it really felt like home. She decorated it according to my own aesthetic style, but with more… well, style, I thought to myself. I headed to the large gourmet kitchen, placing the bags of food and items from my refrigerator away. I loved to cook and this room was another reason I purchased the home. The kitchen had beautiful Spanish tile in a mix of different patterns covering the backsplash that was eclectic, but also magnificent. It was a bold contrast to the black and gray swirled granite slab countertop. I was looking forward to inviting my family down for holidays and being able to accommodate them all in my new home. I missed them all so much, but I knew that I would see my parent this weekend and I'd see Emmett on Thursday when he came in for the Laker game.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. Glancing down I saw that it was the moving company. I quickly picked up, anxious to see where they were. "Hey, where are you guys?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

"We're about 5 minutes away. Can you open your gate for us so we can pull right in? Turning left off the PCH is kind of a bitch," he sighed.

"Yep, no problem. I'll go do that now," I said, striding out the front door before walking back into the garage. I punched the security code and pressed the hold button so that it would remain open for the movers.

I stood in the driveway waiting for their arrival so that I could shut the gate as soon as I reasonably could. I was still feeling anxious from my earlier thoughts and tried to take a few calming breaths just like Dr. Banner suggested when I started feeling the panic well up inside me.

Sure enough, five minutes later the truck pulled up the drive and circled in front of my garage.

Pulling the hatch open, the movers quickly started unloading all of my worldly possessions, or at least the ones that I was bringing with me. I had given much of my old college furniture to Goodwill, thinking that perhaps someone new would appreciate it – that and it didn't really go with the new décor that Esme had created.

I handed them a little map that I had drawn up earlier letting them know where each of the rooms in my house was so that they could put the boxes in the correct area of the house. They looked at me a little incredulously and I smiled, "Just a little anal retentive." I shrugged and walked back inside.

I was antsy as I wasn't used to not helping, but I was aptly reminded by Jasper when we talked on the phone the other day that "that's what you're paying them for dude." I smiled remembering how Jasper always knew how to manipulate me so that I was in the mood that he wanted or needed me to be in.

I was mentally kicking myself that my new piano wasn't going to be delivered for another week, but knew that I could go and play on my keyboard that was packed away and if the movers followed my instructions, it would be headed towards the solarium in the back of the house, facing the ocean. I had decided to make that my music room since it had some of the best views from the house. I figured if inspiration were to strike, that would be the best place for it to arrive.

About an hour later, the moving truck pulled out of my driveway and I walked back inside to survey the damage. I walked up the sweeping staircase that overlooked the foyer and headed for the master bedroom. The setting sun was just starting to stream in through the sheer, gauzy curtains that blew away from the open windows. Pulling them back, I stood before the awe-inspiring view that was now all mine. I grinned and thought about the busy week ahead of me. I only had one day to try and unpack as much as I could before all hell broke loose. I walked through the French doors and out onto the veranda. I sat down on one of the plush chairs and gazed out over the sea, pondering this next chapter in my life.

"Ready, set, go," I muttered leaning back and closing my eyes, basking in the warmth of the setting sun.

_Brown eyes bore in to my soul. I searched and grabbed, longing to see the rest of the face that went with those expressive eyes. I started running through thick woods filled with lush moss and ferns, trying to catch up to where I had seen them disappear. I tripped over hidden roots jutting up out of the ground. I fell hard down onto the ground and searched to see where I was._

_Suddenly it morphed into a desert. It was dry and sandy and I was being hunted by something unseen. I crawled desperately through the thick hot sand trying to escape, searching over my shoulder to see if it was gaining on me. I saw a shadow looming and coming at me faster than I was crawling away from it. I begged for the shadowy figure to leave me alone, that I didn't know what I did wrong to deserve its wrath. The shadow was now almost on top of me now with black eyes peering menacingly down at my trembling body. I saw an arm shoot down towards my trembling body and crouched trying to protect myself from what I knew was coming._

_Then I heard a buzzing noise like that of an annoying fly or bee. _

I didn't know how long I had sat there until the phone in my pocket buzzed once again. I opened my eyes, shocked that the sun had now set and feeling the breeze coming off the ocean was cool and refreshing. Shaking my head to clear the dream that had felt so real, I picked up the phone and answered gruffly still half asleep, "Yeah?"

"Is that any way to speak to your mother?" Esme chirped in my ear.

Running my hands through my thick, unkempt hair, I sighed and answered calmly, "Hi Mom, sorry, I dozed off for a minute. How are you?"

"Edward, you sound tired honey," she said with concern. "Why don't I call you tomorrow? I just wanted to check and see how the move went."

"The move went fine, delayed a little, but no issues that I know of," I said, thinking for a second. "Oh, except that they cracked the nightstand in my room, but that's easily replaced. It was going in to the blue guest room anyhow. Maybe you can help me find a match or something close this weekend" I droned on, my exhaustion slowing creeping in to my voice.

"Well, at least it wasn't anything too sentimental. I'll ring you in the morning. Go get some sleep."

I muttered a sleepy goodbye and headed back into the house suddenly realizing that I was starving. Making my way down the stairs and into the kitchen, I pulled open the refrigerator to see what I had that didn't require a lot of effort.

After a little searching I found my leftover Chinese from the night before. I poured my garlic chicken over rice in a bowl and microwaved it until it was steaming.

I sat at the bar along the island and quietly ate listening to the waves crash onto the beach below. I felt calm and serene for the first time in a long while. It wasn't that I was miserable before, but I didn't really understand how content you could really be when you were where you were meant to be.

My phone rang out again, interrupting my thoughts. I saw that it was Rosalie, my publicist, and picked it up not really wanting to speak with her right now. Rosalie Hale was a ball buster – you had to be in order to make it in this industry – and she really had done a great job, even when I didn't want to admit it.

"Hey Rose, what's going on?"

"Edward, love, how did the move go? You better be getting your butt settled into that house because you're upcoming week looks to be a bit of a bitch."

I groaned knowing full well what my schedule looked like. I said I knew what I was getting myself into, but now that I saw the schedule that Rose had sent me last week, I was beginning to have doubts.

"I'll have a car come and pick you up at 6:30 sharp tomorrow morning and it will be taking you around for the rest of the day. I'm glad you finally came to your senses and agreed with Jasper. It's going to be great publicity, so rest up and I'll speak to you Monday. Bye Edward."

She hung up without me even getting in a word edgewise. That was Rose, she didn't mince words and I liked that about her. I knew I wasn't an easy client and appreciated that she was still able to deal with all my eccentricities and allowed me to be me – no easy feat.

I realized that I was exhausted and decided to go to bed now, thinking that if I did, I could wake up really early and get a start on my day.

I saw that my bed was already made, something that I hadn't noticed earlier when I came upstairs, and was thankful that I didn't need to make it. I pulled my shirt over my head and stripped off my jeans before climbing between the cool sheets. I turned out the light and saw that the moonlight was billowing in through the windows, casting shadows against the wall as my sheers blew in the cool night breeze. I smiled to myself knowing that I was finally at home before nodding to sleep.


	2. She Works Hard for the Money

**TWILIGHT REFLECTED IN BROWN EYES**

**Bella Swan is in for the shock of her life when Edward Cullen comes back into her life 7 years after graduation. Can the scars from her past be healed by the reclusive musician or will she shut him out like she has everyone else since the fateful accident four years ago. **

_Rated T (but I reserve the right to change it to M in later chapters)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight – The lovely Stephanie Meyer does – I own a 12 year old grocery getter of a car and a hell of a lot of student loan debt_

_A/N – Thanks to my amazing betas Tara & Famouslyso for correcting my crappy grammar and punctuation mistakes. They rock my world! _

_B/E, Canon, slightly OOC, AU/AH_

**She Works Hard for the Money**

**BPOV**

My alarm shrilled in my ear as I glanced over at the clock in my still darkened room, knowing exactly what I would see, 3:00 AM. I slapped the snooze button and burrowed my face deeper into the pillow I was hugging for all it was worth. Ugh, why am I doing this again? I thought to myself, but remembered very quickly that it was because I actually loved my job. I loved being the voice of so many people's long ass commutes. I loved the people I worked with and I loved that my face was relatively unknown even if my voice wasn't.

I reached over to my small wooden nightstand and clicked the alarm off and slowly swung my legs over the side of the bed and shuffled off to the bathroom to begin my morning routine.

Turning the shower to hot, I grabbed my mint green toothbrush and began cleaning away the grime that came after a night of deep slumber. I looked up into the mirror to see my tired face reflected in it. I had stayed up too late the previous night trying to unpack when I should have gone to bed. Four hours was just not enough sleep. I'd have to take a nap when I get off later today.

I reached into the shower to test the temperature and got in, letting the warm water encompass me, waking me up with every second it cascaded down on me.

Getting out ten minutes later, I wrapped my hair into one towel and dried my body off with another. I grabbed the purple bathrobe off the hook behind the door and started to work on getting my face ready to meet the day head on.

Suddenly I remembered there was something I was supposed to have done the night before.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I said hitting my fist hard against the tile countertop. I forgot to read the dossier that Alice had given me to read about our guest this morning. Shit. From what Alice had said on Saturday, he, or she is a big deal. "Crap, crap, crap!" I exclaimed, grabbing the towel from my head and trying to get a comb through the mass of knotted curls.

I was rushing now – trying to put my make up on and comb my hair all at the same time. I tripped over the cord for my hairdryer and almost fell face first into the toilet. I untangled myself from the cord and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked bad, more than exhausted. I had bags that I would need a porter to carry for me. Even the small bit of concealer I dabbed under my eyes wasn't helping a whole lot. I swiped my lashes quickly with some black mascara and pulled my hair back into a barrette at the top of my head. It was only chin length and wouldn't quite go back into a ponytail without looking stupid, but I didn't have time to do much else with it.

I was hoping that I would have a few minutes to review the notes before I got into work but my phone rang and interrupted that thought.

"Alice, hey what's up that you're calling so early?" I said breathlessly.

"Bella, did you review the notes I gave you? Can you believe we got Edward Freaking Masen to come into the studio to do an interview and play a couple songs off of his debut album?" Alice kept rambling, but I tuned her out when I heard the one name ring out… Edward Masen.

"Fuck," I said as I exhaled into the phone.

"Bella, you didn't read it, did you?" Alice sounded frustrated.

"Sorry, Alice. I got so wrapped up with unpacking last night that I forgot," I said blushing at my own incompetence. "I meant to look at it before bed, but I fell asleep on the couch and then just crawled into bed around midnight," I said grabbing the manila folder out of my laptop case. "I'm trying to get into the office a little early to go over it. I'll be prepared, don't worry about it," I said trying to finish up the conversation so I could get dressed and make a run for the door.

"Okay Bella, don't let me down. Jasper had to pull a lot of strings to get this guy to do this. You know how shy he is about interviews. This is an exclusive, so don't screw it up!" she exclaimed before hanging up on me.

Crap, crap, crap.

Three and a half minutes later, I was grabbing my laptop and cardigan off of the chair and hurrying to my car.

_Please let there be no traffic, please let there be no traffic_, I silently prayed to myself. I knew it was 4:30 in the morning and that the roads should be clear, but in Los Angeles, the one thing you couldn't predict was the traffic, unless you were predicting that you'd be stuck in it.

I made my way on to I-10 and headed east to our studios in downtown. Veering onto the 110 I realized my mistake. "Fuck," I said as I realized they were doing construction on the fly over ramp. I was now sitting in traffic at fucking. five. in. the. God. damn .morning. "Shit, shit, shit" I said banging on the steering wheel and shaking my body back and forth as if willing the car to move with me. As I said it, I almost laughed, realizing that when I swore it was always in threes. I wonder if that's some kind of OCD thing? I laughed at myself and then pulled out the folder sitting on the seat beside me. I turned on the dome light and tried to read. Just as I did, the traffic started inching along and I decided better of it. I knew better than to try and do two things at once.

_Yeah, like walking and talking_, I thought sadly. I was a walking disaster. I swear that it was as if Mother Nature implanted me with a magnet that attracted all types of dark clouds to descend over my head. I had been having too good of a streak as of late and knew that I was probably due for some disaster to be cast upon me.

I finally got off on the 5th Street ramp and headed up Flower. I pulled into the radio station's parking garage at 5:15. "Crap, Crap, Crap!" I was really cutting it close this morning.

I ran to the bank of elevators just as I saw Alice stroll away from her vintage cherry red Alpha Romeo, an anniversary gift from Jasper.

As I watched her cross the parking lot, I wondered how it was possible for her to look so darn good at such an ungodly hour of the morning. Alice always dressed to the nines; she loved her designers and with her petite frame, the designer styles loved her. Her black hair was spiked out, looking chic as ever. She outshined me as if she was the sun and I was the dark side of the moon. She just radiated confidence and poise – all of the things I lacked – but she was the best friend I had and never made me feel anything lesser.

"Hey Bella, right on time," she smirked, walking next to me as I waited for the elevator doors to open.

"Alice, what time is Edward Masen coming in today? I can find some time to read his profile during a couple sets and some commercial breaks. Maybe even…"

"Bella, relax," Alice interrupted, "it will be okay. Jasper said that Edward may be a little shy but he's a very nice guy. You'll do fine and I know you'll at least have time to skim it before he gets here at 8." She punched the number 3 once we walked into the elevator and headed up to start our day.

I exited the elevator and walked swiftly down the long corridor until I got to my desk among a multitude of cubicles that basically just held my belongings until I finished my day. It had a simple computer to do research on, but since I was on the air most of the time I was at work, it was rarely utilized. I grabbed the folder from my bag and headed back to the studio.

The studio was a cramped room with a bank of microphones, a laptop computer next to my chair and a phone board for our call in features. There was a small room adjoining this one where any of the guests that were performing live could play from. It had a large window so that both the DJ and the producer, in my case Alice, could see what was going on and control the sound along with a whole host of other complicated electrical things that I didn't know much about.

I sat down and looked at the digital clock above the door as it read 5:22. I had eight minutes until we went live. I sat down, put my headphones on, looked at the computer to see what was coming up next and opened the folder I had brought with me.

The first page had the header **– EDWARD MASEN – **

Then in bullet form there was all the pertinent information about him…

Age: 24  
Hometown: Seattle, WA  
Current Residence: Los Angeles, CA  
Status: Single  
Current Single: Timeless Love  
Current Album: Debut - Twilight  
Inspiration(s): John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Peter Gabriel, Joni Mitchell, Sting, Bjork, Radiohead and the Beatles.

I skimmed the very basic information that would at least give me some place to start the interview. I also knew that Alice was a stickler for details and would provide me the basic questions a few pages farther along in my notes.

I glanced up when I heard a knock on the window from the booth. Alice was pointing at her watch and waving around frantically.

Crap, crap, crap. I just missed my intro.

"Good morning Los Angeles, you're listening to B-girl in the AM. It's now 5:30 am. We have a great show for you with a special surprise guest coming in at the eight o'clock hour. Do you think I should give you a hint?" I crooned smoothly over the microphone, my voice dripping with sensuality that I reserved for my 'radio voice'. "I'll put you all out of your misery in the seven o'clock hour. In the meantime, how about a little Howie Day to get your morning going?"

With that I flipped off the hot mike and smiled apologetically to Alice in the other room.

I went and reviewed my day's schedule of music playlists, comedy bits, news, weather, entertainment news and, of course, guests. Today we had Edward Masen live in studio for the whole eight o'clock hour. I was wondering how we managed that as a half hour was usually the longest we would normally get a guest, even with a live performance. It looked like we had about five minutes scheduled for an interview then about four five-minute blocks, interrupted with a few blocks of music and a call in Q&A for Edward.

Wow, Alice must have really gotten to Jasper. Everything that I had heard about the elusive Edward Masen alluded to the fact that he was a bit of a recluse and very rarely gave interviews. Other than that, I didn't know much of him, other than his current single 'Timeless Love' – a beautiful song – was at the top of the Adult Contemporary and Pop Charts. I wasn't really a fan of the Josh Groban type of music, but I could appreciate it for its beauty and complexity, and I had to admit that I did really liked Edward's song. It was soulful without being cliché. You could hear the longing in his melodic voice without it being whiney. The lyrics were heartbreaking and encased with deep hidden meaning. This guy was a star and I didn't see that changing any time soon.

Another knock on the glass made me glance up and turn the mike on.

"Alright, that was Amos Lee, Frou Frou and Howie Day.

"We have Angela coming up after the next break with your weather and traffic then our mystery guest will be revealed. In the meantime, our next block of nonstop music will include KT Tunstall, Sara Bareilles and Gomez."

After I turned the mike off, Alice walked in and handed me some papers for our next comedy sketch and a cup of coffee. "You're a little distracted this morning, Miss Bella," she chirped as she headed back to the control room. "You better get your head in the game; we don't want to screw this up." The door shut behind her and I knew she was right.

I gulped the coffee down and did my best to ignore the stack of papers next to me until the top of the hour. That was when the traffic, weather and entertainment news aired and I had about 15 minutes to do my own thing. I'd look it over then.

An hour later, I had only managed to read the first page and a couple of the stock questions that Alice had prepared for me. I needed to get to the rest, but I wasn't exactly sure how. I had exactly one hour until Edward Masen was supposed to show up in our studios and only had the 15 minutes prior to his arrival to read the rest of the document. Shit, shit, shit, I thought, thoroughly pissed off at my tendency to procrastinate.

"Okay folks, I'm expecting my phones to light up when I tell you all who will be here for our eight o'clock hour. Drum roll please." With that I hit the drum roll sequence into my computer and the sound started playing. I hit the off button after a couple seconds and said in my most seductive and alluring voice. "Edward Masen!" I purred. "Yes, he will be in the studio and performing a few songs off of his debut album, _Twilight,_ which will be in stores tomorrow, so stick around. After the break, Tom will be here with your sports, including the Lakers heartbreaking loss last night to Orlando."

I switched the mike off and headed out to get another cup of coffee. I was dragging this morning and really needed a boost. I was currently only surviving on caffeine and adrenaline. I was so intrigued by the mysterious Edward Masen. I hadn't looked in the file to see if there was a picture. "I'll have to see if Alice gave me a photo in the file," I muttered under my breath as I headed back into the studio.

The next 30 minutes sped by quickly with various interruptions by the office staff, anxious to know when Edward was arriving so they could all meet him. I sighed and felt bad for the poor guy. Actually, I felt bad for most of the high profile celebs that came in for interviews. I didn't envy their fame at all. Being tracked by paparazzi every time you left your house sounded like a horrible way to live and I imagined Edward's celebrity status would only grow from here on out. I had heard the buzz around the office for the last month since his single came out, but with the impending move, I had way too many other things to do besides sit and listen to office gossip. Alice and Jasper had mentioned him in passing, but I never really paid enough attention to get what the hype was all about. Yes, he was talented, but what else was there? Maybe it was just the mystique of him. I had to admit that I was quite curious indeed.

At the top of the hour I stepped out of the studio for my 15-minute cram session. I sat down at my desk and opened the folder, finding the canned questions and quickly perusing them.

It was all the usual ones:

How did you get discovered?

Do you write all your own songs?

What are you most proud about with this record?

How are you handling your sudden stardom?

What's your favorite track off the album?

Where did you get your inspiration for the album/song etc?

Blah blah blah…

I skimmed it quickly, knowing the drill and that I would be able to pull this interview off.

My phone rang and when I picked it up Alice said I was needed back in the studio. I picked up the folder and started heading back toward the door.

I flipped through the folder casually looking at whatever else Alice had put in the file when I saw a small flash of color catch my eye from the stacks of black and white pages.

Still walking, I pulled the picture out of the folder and my eyes practically popped out of my head.

"Edward Cullen?" I gasped and then promptly ran straight into a brick wall – at least that's what if felt like – before I started to feel myself falling backwards toward the ground.

A hand reached out and caught the top of my arm and steadied me until I could get my feet back underneath me.

When I gazed up to see who I had run into, my jaw dropped and I could almost hear the crickets chirping from deep inside my mouth.

"Um… it's actually Edward Masen now, Bella," Edward whispered in my ear, chuckling as he let go of my arm.

**EPOV**

My alarm went off at 5:45 with some country station blaring a Kenny Chesney tune. Since it was the only station that my alarm could get reception on and since I hated to wake up to annoying beeping, Kenny Chesney it was.

I took a deep breath and thought about my day. I hadn't done an interview since before my single had come out last month and that was more of a five minute phone call to some radio station in New York.

I hated interviews with a passion. I hated answering the same questions over and over again. And I just plain hated the publicity in general. I realized how ironic it sounded coming from an up and coming artist who needed all the publicity he could get, but I hated being the center of attention. I didn't like it in high school when my band director would single me out after the performance for a separate bow and I hated it in college when my friends dragged me to open mike nights in Santa Monica.

What I loved was performing. If I could perform with just a reading light over my music and an appreciative audience who I didn't need to even know I existed after I was done, I'd be in heaven.

I had always been shy. I was considered a 'serious boy' by my parents and teachers. I was just in my head a lot. I wasn't emotional like so many crazy teenagers are. I thought about what I was going to say instead of just saying it; I didn't speak unless I had something important to say; I wasn't introverted exactly, but I was picky about who and what I talked about. If that made me serious, then, well… then I don't know what.

I dragged my feet over the edge of the bed and headed towards the large master bath. I turned the knob on the shower and watched the spray flow out of the rainfall showerhead. I waited until the water turned warm enough for me to get in and let the hot water pelt against my tense shoulders.

I lathered up my face and began shaving in slow smooth strokes, not wanting to nick myself, which I tended to do if I was in a hurry. I finished the rest of my shower, quietly, thinking about the day ahead. Tomorrow I had a record releasing. _I, Edward Cullen, had a record releasing_, I thought proudly. It was one of those dreams that you thought would happen when you were young and naïve enough to think that all dreams are possible. It wasn't until reality flips you the bird that you got cynical about things.

I stepped out of the shower and dried off quickly. I put on some lotion and some kind of styling cream into my unmanageable hair. I tried to tame it the best I could, but had a habit of always running my hands through it when I was nervous, so it never stayed that way for long.

I walked to my closet to find something that didn't look too wrinkled from the move. I found my favorite pair of pants – charcoal grey, didn't need ironing and were, most importantly, comfortable. I glanced around until I found a simple sky blue button down shirt. I buttoned it up and grabbed a fitted black jacket in case I needed to look slightly more formal. I walked downstairs and grabbed a peach off the counter and poured myself a cup of coffee. I was thankful that I had remembered to set the timer on the coffee maker before I went to bed. I sat at the bar and took a long, satisfying gulp from my 'Bruin's do it better' mug. Emmett had given it to me for Christmas my sophomore year in college and I treasured it for some inexplicable reason. It was large and held about 2 normal sized cups of coffee and I drank from it every morning.

I heard a buzz coming from the intercom system and went over to the console on the wall next to pantry. "Yes?" I answered, expecting it to be the car service.

"Mr. Masen, this is Garrett, your driver for the day. Miss Rosalie said that you would be expecting me."

"Yes Garrett, one moment," I replied before I punched the code to let him through the gate.

I finished my coffee in two big gulps and grabbed my messenger bag and equipment. I punched the alarm code and headed out the door.

Garrett was an older man with reddish hair that was graying at the temples. He looked to be about 55 and had a soft, ruddy complexion.

He walked over and grabbed my keyboard from me and walked back to the car, placing it gently in the trunk of a large black Mercedes with tinted windows. He then held the door open for me as I slid into the back seat with my bag.

The sun was just coming up as we headed down the PCH. I sighed deeply and settled back into the leather seat, resting my head against the headrest. I willed myself to relax, taking deep breaths just like Dr. Banner advised me to do when I got overly anxious.

I let my eyes close and settled in for the ride across town.

I had managed to get myself relaxed when I heard my phone buzz in my pocket.

"Hello," I said, not looking to see who was calling before picking it up.

"Edward, what's going on bro? Mom told me that you had a big interview today and I wanted to wish you luck," Emmett stated in his gruff voice.

"Hey Em, good to hear from you. Yeah, my interview is in a little bit then I have a couple of promotional events at the Virgin Megastore and a taping of The Tonight Show later on. Then tonight I'm having dinner with my publicist and Rhianna – I guess she wants to do a duet with me or something," I said with as much enthusiasm as my overly anxious mind could muster.

"Dude, you're meeting Rhianna; she's a fox. Can I come?" he teased.

"You're in New York; I seriously doubt you'll make it here in time," I quipped back.

"Fine. Well check out her rack for me. Good luck today. You know I'm rooting for you, right?" he said sincerely.

"Yeah yeah, whatever Emmett. I'll talk to you soon. You're still in for Thursday, right?"

"Wouldn't miss you singing the _Star Spangled Banner_ for anything. The box seats for the NBA final is a bonus," he chuckled.

"Cool. Thanks for calling. It really was good to hear from you."

I sighed as I hung up. My brother Emmett was always my biggest supporter, both physically and emotionally. He stood up for me when I was a shy, unassuming kid who got teased on the playground for being lousy at all the silly games that boys play. He encouraged me to compose as an outlet for my angst and heartbreak. He and my mom were my biggest fans and I loved them so much for it.

I'm sure our mom wished that we would settle down soon. I was going to be 25 in two weeks and Emmett was 27, going on 7, I smiled to myself. Emmett lived in New York City working as an EMT. He moonlighted as a bouncer during his off nights for some extra cash and was a player. I never met the same woman twice when I went to visit him; he enjoyed the chase but hated the catch.

I didn't really date. I had been spending the last three years writing, composing and recording the album that was dropping tomorrow, and now with all the promotional events surrounding it, I doubt my calendar was going to free up anytime soon. I had a ten city tour starting in late July that ran through Labor Day. Rosalie knew not to push me, so we decided to start small with only ten cities and, depending on the reaction to my album, we would schedule more for the fall and winter in both the U.S. and probably in Europe. I had told her that I wanted to be away from home only for a month at a time but that I would need a month off. I needed my space, my privacy and my home. Women and my sex life just took the back seat to my music and my family.

About 15 minutes later, the car pulled into an underground parking lot downtown. Garrett opened the door for me and I unfolded my long legs out of the backseat of the car. I threw the messenger bag over my head, pushing it so that it rested right against the small of my back. I turned around and took my keyboard bag from Garrett's hands.

"Mr. Masen, do you need any help with that? I'd be happy to help you carry that up if you need me to?" Garrett offered kindly.

"No, thanks Garrett. I've got it. Thanks very much though," I replied, heading towards the bank of elevators.

"I'll be here when you're all done," he added, heading back to the car.

I walked into the elevator and went up to the third floor where Rosalie had instructed me to go.

I leaned against the wall of the elevator, listening to ding of the passing floors, and tried to remain as calm as possible. I started humming my favorite song to myself and let my eyes close for a moment, trying to remember back to when I wrote it. It always managed to slow my heart rate down to a manageable level.

The doors opened and I strode out, still lost in my thoughts. A moment later I looked up and saw a brunette headed right for me with her head down, looking at some documents. She looked familiar for some reason and I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard her whisper, "Edward Cullen?" before she slammed right into my chest. Thankfully I was able to grab her arm and keep her from toppling completely over.

She gazed up at me with her beautiful doe eyes and I instantly remembered why I knew her.  
"It's actually Edward Masen now, Bella," I whispered into her ear, chuckling lightly and releasing my hold on her.


	3. The Interview

**Bella Swan is in for the shock of her life when Edward Cullen comes back into her life 7 years after graduation. Can the scars from her past be healed by the reclusive musician or will she shut him out like she has everyone else since the fateful accident four years ago. **

_Rated T (but I reserve the right to change it to M in later chapters)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight – The lovely Stephanie Meyer does – I own a pair of sneakers that never get used and a child who doesn't listen._

_A/N – Thanks to my amazing betas Tara & Famouslyso for correcting my crappy grammar and punctuation mistakes. They rock my world! _

_B/E, Canon, slightly OOC, AU/AH_

**The Interview**

**EPOV**

She was still gaping at me with her mouth wide open, not saying anything.

"Um, hey Bella. Long time no see," I groaned as soon as that stupid phrase came out of my mouth. _Really Edward, you couldn't come up with anything better_? I chastised myself.

I watched a deep, red blush spread up from her neck to the apples of her cheeks. God, she was just as beautiful as ever; time had only made her lovelier. I hadn't seen her since graduation and she still managed to take my breath away. Her hair was shorter now, in a blunt chin length bob, her bangs were held back with a barrette – she looked older, but better. I knew that I was staring but was unable to turn away from her entrancing eyes. They looked like pools of melted chocolate and I would've loved to get stuck in them for the rest of time.

"Uh, Edward?" she croaked, still looking at me as if I had three heads. I blinked twice, remembering that she had spoken to me.

"Yep, you really should watch where you're going. You never know who you might run into," I quipped, looking down at her.

She shook her head, as if to clear her thoughts and stuttered, "Wow, Edward. I…I…I don't know what to say really. It's really good to see you." She looked bewildered and just downright shocked to be standing so close to me. I, on the other hand, was keenly aware as to how close she really was.

"Bella, GET IN HERE NOW!" I heard someone screech her name from down the hall.

"Alice, I'll be right there," she shouted. "Edward, I'm so sorry but I have to run, I'll talk to you later?" she asked, running down the hall.

"Sure, I'm here for an interview. Maybe I can talk to you afterwards," I mumbled and walked in the opposite direction.

I walked up to the receptionist sitting at a large crescent shaped desk and gave her my name.

"Hi, I'm Edward Masen. I'm here for an interview," I said as I blushed, feeling like a complete idiot.

"Oh, Mr. Masen. We've been expecting you," she cooed. "I'm Deanna, please follow me, I'll show you where to go." She turned, winked and walked off in front of me. It looked like she was trying to walk seductively, but my mind was focused on business only. I had gotten used to women trying to seduce me for a long time. Even before I became famous, my brother said women found me sexy because of my 'fuck me hair', whatever the hell that meant. I just knew it was constantly a mess – if that turned a woman on, then it didn't take much.

The receptionist led me into a small booth and introduced me to Alice. "Alice, Edward Masen is here for you," she said, turning and looking over her shoulder to give me one last wink before shutting the door behind her.

"Edward, it's so nice to finally meet you," said a tiny woman with jet black hair. "Jasper has been telling me all about you for so long and it's just such a pleasure to put a face with the name," she said holding out her hand to shake mine.

"Alice, nice to meet you too. I can't believe we've never met since Jasper and I have been working together. It's really a pleasure," I said taking the petite woman's hand and shaking it gently. She grasped my hand firmly and smiled at me as if letting me know that she was not as delicate as she looked.

"I know you don't really like interviews, so hopefully this won't be too bad for you. We've allowed more time for you to play than to be interviewed. Jasper said how much you really loved playing, letting your music tell your story instead," she murmured in a soothing voice as if sensing my anxiety.

"Thank you Alice, I really do appreciate that. Now where would you like me to set up my equipment?" I asked, running my hands nervously through my mop of hair.

"Oh, wait for one minute, Bella's almost done. When we go to commercial you can set up in the room across the way," she pointed through the window at a small studio within a studio. It was only then that my brain made the connection between my Bella and the voice being piped into the booth. I gazed though the window for the first time and saw Bella wearing a large pair of headphones while studying a piece of paper. She glanced up as if she felt my eyes on her. She gave a little wave and kept on talking.

"Wait, Bella is B-girl?" I stammered inquisitively to Alice.

"Yep, one and the same. She got the nickname back in college and it sort of stuck. She likes the anonymity of it now that her show is so popular," she stated. "Wait a second," she paused, "do you know Bella?" She peered up at me with one hand on her hip waiting for my response.

"Um, yeah," I said, fidgeting with the bag in my hands. "We graduated high school together, but sort of lost touch after that."

"Oh my god!" she squealed. "Why didn't she mention this to me when I told her you were coming in!?" she said hurriedly.

"I changed my last name to protect the innocent," I said in my best deep movie voiceover voice, chuckling to myself. "I didn't want my family to have to deal with any kind of trouble my fame might inflict. So I changed it to my mother's maiden name after graduating college. It's not exactly top secret, as I'm sure it's available on Wikipedia, but it was better than nothing."

"Huh," she said, staring at Bella with a far off look in her eyes. "Okay Edward, you can go in now. Bella will be interviewing you right after the commercial break and the traffic report," she said, opening the door for me as I walked past her with my gear.

"Edward, would you like some help with anything?" Bella asked as I walked into the studio.

"Nope, I got it. Won't take but a minute, but thanks," I said trying my best not to drop my keyboard. I hadn't noticed my hands were shaking until that moment.

I walked off into the adjoining room to set up my keyboard. It was a small room that looked big enough to accommodate a small four or five piece band. I was setting the keyboard up on its stand when a dark haired young man came in saying, "Hey, let me get these plugged into the board and we'll be ready to go." I moved out of the way and headed back to the studio where Bella was sitting, humming to herself. She still had her headphones on and hadn't noticed me yet. I stood for a moment just to take her in, like a much needed breath of fresh air.

She was wearing a simple navy cotton polo shirt with dark jeans. She had red sandals on her feet that were casually swinging back and forth against the stool she was sitting on. Her hair was still the same beautiful mahogany color with a hint of red when she turned her head toward the light. She was slender, maybe even more now than she was the last time I saw her. Her lithe fingers were playing with a strand of hair at the nape of her long, willowy neck.

"Edward, you can come and sit over here on this stool across from me," she said, shaking me out of my thoughts, and pointed towards a chair.

"Uh, thanks Bella. I was lost in thought there. Sorry," I said, taking my seat across from her.

"Edward, relax. Just put those headphones on. I promise to take it easy on you," she said with a wink.

I put the headphones on as directed and immediately was listening to the traffic report that was being broadcast.

"So Edward, now that you're an international pop star, what are you going to do?" she joked, raising one eyebrow at me.

"Going to Disney World?" I asked more as a question than a statement, unsure if she was referring to the old commercials that were popular when we were in high school.

"Ah Edward, you disappoint me. That exclamation didn't really make me want to jump on the next plane to Orlando," she mocked.

"Sorry, but we don't need to get on a jet. We live in Southern California and can go whenever we want," I quipped right back.

"Touché, Mr. Cullen... ah sorry, Mr. Masen, touché," she said waiving the imaginary white flag.

"Um, Bella," I began worriedly, "I'm not very good with interviews. Just letting you know. Hopefully you can keep the conversation flowing."

"No worries Edward, you'll do fine. Are you ready to go?" she said just as she flicked a button on her control panel and the light above the door lit up to say 'ON AIR'.

I exhaled slowly, willing myself to relax and pulled my stool closer to the microphone in front of me.

"Okay everyone it's time for our special guest!" she purred into the mike. "Edward Masen, yes THAT Edward Masen, is live and in our studios for an exclusive interview and a live performance of a few songs off of his debut album that drops tomorrow." She smiled up at me and continued, "Edward, thank you so much for being here with us today."

"Thanks ... um B. Um, B-girl, it's nice to be here," I stuttered. _Crap, I almost called her Bella, you dumb ass,_ I inwardly reprimanded myself.

"So Edward tomorrow is the big day. Your debut album 'Twilight' finally drops in stores. I've seen some of the reviews and so far they're all overwhelmingly positive. What was your inspiration for this album?" she asked, not acknowledging my slip-up.

"I actually took a lot of inspiration from my own life. It's always easiest to write about what you know," I said quickly, trying to get my hands to stop shaking and my nerves to settle down. _Just imagine you're having a conversation with Bella, no big deal,_ I thought to myself – but with that thought my heart raced even faster. I groaned minutely and tried to listen to Bella's next question

"Your sales for 'Timeless Love' broke a record on iTunes. Are you expecting the album to do just as well?" she said, looking up from beneath her impossibly long eyelashes. I swore my heart stopped beating for a minute.

"I was pleasantly surprised with the success of 'Timeless Love' and can only be cautiously optimistic that my fans will like the rest of the record just as much," I said, looking away from her intense gaze.

"I read that you wrote all of the songs on this album. When did you start composing?" she inquired.

"I started composing in high school but didn't really start doing it professionally until my senior year in college," I shrugged, trying to not boast.

"Wow, you wrote in high school? That's amazing." She looked up at me in awe. After a moment she realized that she had stopped talking and continued. "Did any of the songs you wrote in high school end up on the record?"

"Actually, I only wrote one song in high school. It took me a long time," I chuckled, "It was reworked a bit from the original, but it turned out better than I could have hoped for. It's called 'Brown Eyes'," I said, looking longingly into the eyes that had inspired the song so long ago.

"Will you play it for us a bit later? I'd love to hear it," she whispered in a tone barely loud enough for me to hear. She was looking at me intently, as if I was a puzzle she was trying to figure out how to solve.

"Sure, I'd be happy to," I smiled at her.

"Okay folks, we need to take a quick break but when we come back Edward's going to play us his hit song 'Timeless Love'," she crooned into her microphone. She flipped the switch and the 'ON AIR' sign went dark.

"Great Job Edward. I'm really looking forward to hearing you play," she said before bouncing off her chair and approaching me. "I can't believe that Edward Cullen is THE Edward Masen. I wish I had known," she whispered, looking down at the ground as her telltale blush crept up her face once again. It was as if she were ashamed of herself for not guessing my secret.

"Thanks Bella. I need to go warm up," I stated dumbly. _What is it about this woman that makes my IQ drop by 50 points? I mean normally I'm eloquent to the point of sounding snobby, at least that's what my friends would tell me, _I chastised myself.

I walked off towards the other side of the room and glanced over my shoulder before walking into the adjoining room only to see Bella standing in the same spot I left her, completely checking me out. I wiggled my ass for her and laughed the rest of the way into the room. When I looked back out, she was fumbling with some papers back at her desk, avoiding my gaze.

**BPOV**

Crap, I was just caught checking out Edward. What was it about him that made my mind melt into a pool of lime Jell-O? Or any kind of Jell-O for that matter. He was even more beautiful now than he was when we were in high school. I could only imagine how many women were throwing themselves at him now; it had to be 100 times worse. And yet, here I was, checking out his amazing ass in those tight fitting grey slacks. I looked over to Alice in the booth and she was just looking at me with astonishment and then a sly grin. I waved her off and listened for my intro.

I flipped the switch and introduced Edward when I heard my cue.

"You are listening to B-girl in the AM and I am pleased to have the up-and-coming Edward Masen in my studio right now. He's going to play his hit single, 'Timeless Love.'" I threw my arm out towards him as if I were one of the 'Price is Right' girls showing off a new car. He looked up at me and gave me a shy grin and began to play.

The melody was hypnotic and moody. I watched his lovely fingers fly across the keyboard and I leaned in, as if I could get a better view of him from where I already was. I was mesmerized and knew that my mouth was gaping wide open, but could do nothing to close it. When he started singing the lyrics I lost all coherent thought. My mind was mush and all I wanted to do was go in there and have him throw me against the wall and fuck me senseless.

He glanced up at me once he came to the refrain and started singing right to me. His eyes bore into my soul; I felt weak at the knees but could not look away from his intense stare. I listened to the words he was singing and it made my heart start pounding deep in my chest. The song was about longing to find the one love in your life that would be there for eternity, through the ebbs and flows of life. His voice was filled with so much longing and ache that I just wanted to go give him a hug and tell him he would find it.

The song came to an end and I gestured for him to stay there and that I was going to ask him one question before we went to break.

"Edward, that was breathtakingly beautiful. Thank you so much for playing for us today. Where did you get the inspiration for that song?" I cocked my head to the side and played with a piece of hair at the back of my neck, waiting for him to answer.

He leaned over and spoke clearly into the microphone. "I grew up watching the deep love that my parents shared and I have always hoped to find an equally intense and passionate love with someone. That's the inspiration for the song." He blinked and shrugged, looking like the shy boy I knew from way back when.

"Thank you, Edward. I think I can speak for all of the females in the L.A. area right now and let out a collective… _sigh_… I think that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. Way to ruin me for all other men," I joked, trying to lighten the intense mood that had started swirling around in my tiny studio.

He didn't reply; he just nodded and smiled crookedly at me.

"We'll be back in just a few with more from Edward Masen. Stick around." I flicked the switch to off and flung my headphones onto the desk. I started to run over to where Edward was sitting still in front of his keyboard when I tripped on one of the wires and landed on my hands and knees.

Edward jumped up and bent down to see if I was okay. "Bella, oh my gosh, are you alright?" he picked up my hands and looked at them worriedly.

"I'm fine," I said rocking back onto my heels, "happens to me all the time."

Edward took my elbow and helped me to stand up. The moment he touched me, I gasped at the undercurrent of electricity that went through me.

I had not looked up since I fell, knowing the telltale blush that was taking permanent residence on my cheeks, when I felt his hand touch my chin and turn my face towards his.

"Bella, are you alright?" he whispered again.

I gulped and could only nod. His green eyes were peering right through me and I once again lost all intelligent thought.

He dropped his hand, eliciting a low, heavy sigh from me at the loss of contact. _God, it has been too long if just the simple touch of a man is sending me into overdrive_, I thought.

I heard a rap on the glass and looked up at Alice motioning for me to get back to my mike. I hurried over to my desk, sat down, put my headphones on and glanced in Edward's direction. He had already sat back down at his keyboard and looked like he was ready to get back to playing.

"You're listening to KDLE and B-girl in the AM. Today we're privileged to have Edward Masen live in the studio playing tracks off of his new album 'Twilight'," I said breathlessly. "Edward, rumor has it that you were discovered playing at an open mike night in Santa Monica. Is that true?" I looked over at him anxiously, waiting for his smooth, velvet voice to answer me.

"Um, well that's pretty much true. My friends dragged me out to open mike night about once a month to let off steam from school. One night I was lucky enough to have one of the top people at Eclipse Records walk past the bar when I was playing. He heard me, gave me his card and asked me to come in to meet him and bring my demo tape. At the time I didn't even know what a demo tape was. I met him a couple weeks after that and, four years later, here we are." He looked up at me then, gave me a shy smile and shrugged.

"Wow, it's every musician's dream to be discovered like that. Why did it take four years for your debut album to come out?" I held his gaze and waited for his response.

"I wanted to finish college just in case things didn't work out in my favor and then I spent two years writing songs for my album and some for other musicians. I finally got it all recorded last year and now, here I am." He puffed his chest out proudly and gave me a wide smile this time. This was something he was definitely proud of.

"Edward, it's been quite a journey for you. How about you play something else for us?"

"Sure, I'd be happy to. Here is 'Brown Eyes'," he looked back down at his keyboard and began playing.

The song was slightly slower than the last one and even more mesmerizing, if that was possible. The melody made me instantly feel as if I had heard it before and yet I knew that I hadn't. It was warm and, although the tempo was slower, the feeling was more upbeat. He started singing and he gazed up at me once again. His emerald eyes looked as if they were trying to convey all the same emotions that I was feeling at the moment. I felt lost and confused but hopeful all at the same time. When he finished, a single tear slid down my cheek. I hadn't even noticed it until it splashed down onto my hand.

He looked back up at me with expectant eyes and I smiled warmly in return, wiping away the moist trail that the tear left on my cheek.

"Edward, that was amazing. Is that going to be the next single released off of your album?" I gazed back, trying to show him with my eyes just how awe-inspiring the song was to me.

"I think so and I hope that everyone else has a similar reaction to it as the one you just did," he winked knowingly at me.

I wanted to know more about the song but knew that we were running short on time and had to cut away to a commercial.

"Thank you, Edward. I hope you'll stick around for one more segment and play us one more song? Then maybe take a few questions from our listeners?" I asked expectantly.

"Sure I can stick around. Thanks." He ran his hands through is thick, wavy hair and I got chills just watching him, wishing – no longing – that it was my hands doing the raking, the pulling, the tugging. _Oh god, snap out of it Bella_, I shook my head trying to get rid of the naughty thoughts suddenly at the forefront of my mind.

After another beautiful song and some more banter it was time for the call-in questions from his fans. I called him back into the studio to sit on the stool opposite me once again. He still looked nervous and his hair was now in even more disarray then normal after he fiddled with it during the last hour.

"Edward, are you ready for some questions from our listeners?" I eyed him nervously as I knew sometimes we got some real odd questions from listeners – our phone screeners could only do so much.

"Sure, why not? How bad could it be?" he rolled his eyes and gave me a cockeyed grin.

I flicked the switch and we went live. "I've cleared the lines, so if you have a question that you're dying to have Edward answer, please give us a call at 1-800-555-1031. We're going to try and fit in as many as we can."

A moment later my computer screen lit up with our first four callers.

"Okay, Allison from San Clemente, what would you like to ask Edward?" I put my head in my hand, rolled my eyes exaggeratedly at Edward and waited for a silly fangirl question to be asked.

"Oh my GOD, I can't believe I'm talking to Edward Masen," the poor girl sounded as if she was hyperventilating.

"Go ahead Allison, what was your question?" I prodded.

"Right, sorry. So Edward, um… what advice would you give to musicians who are just starting out? I totally play the piano and…"

Edward thankfully cut off the girl's rambling and stated simply, "Allison, you should always remember to do what you love, from music to medicine. Find what you're passionate about and do it with all your heart. Hopefully you'll be lucky enough to make a decent enough living to make it worthwhile."

"Thanks, Allison, for the question. Next up, Jamie from Marina del Rey. Hi, what's your question for Edward?"

"Edward, I'm a huge fan and have had your album on my waiting list since its release date became known. I just wanted to ask you if you were seeing anyone and if you'd consider dating someone not in the industry?" she giggled wildly. I threw Edward an apologetic look, but he shrugged and answered her question.

"Jamie, I'm truly flattered and I really hope you enjoy my album, but my private life is…well private. I hope you find Mr. Right very soon," he smoothly replied into the microphone throwing me a devious smile at the same time.

"Okay we have time for one more caller. How about Victoria from Los Angeles, what's your question for Edward?"

"Edward, it's been a while…oh how I've missed you so…do you miss me?" the caller purred creepily.

Edward's face dropped and he went pale white at the sound of the caller's voice. His hands started trembling badly. He stood up so quickly that the stool crashed to the ground behind him as he stalked out of the studio.

"Thanks for the call, Victoria. That's all the time we have," and I hung up on her crazy ass. I cued Alice to go to commercial as I threw my headphones on the desk and ran out the door in search of Edward.

I saw him at the end of the hall looking out the window over the skyline of the city. I put a gentle hand on his shoulder and asked, "Are you okay, Edward? I'm so sorry about that, normally our screeners do a good job weeding out the nut jobs." He didn't turn to me but I felt him nod.

"Edward, is she a stalker or something?" I quietly murmured into his shoulder while I pulled him a little closer to my side.

"She's an overzealous fan that I've had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting face-to-face. In fact she now is the proud owner of a restraining order from me," he whispered, turning his face to me.

"Oh Edward, I'm so sorry," I pulled him into a hug and let his head nuzzle into my neck.

He only stayed that way briefly before coming to his senses about our surroundings. He stood up stiffly and looked down into my eyes, wordlessly thanking me.

"It's okay, Edward," I grabbed his hand and we walked back towards the studio.

Before we walked into the studio he stopped and faced me, grasping both of my hands in front of him. He looked serious so I waited for him to speak first, not wanting to ruin whatever it was that he needed to say to me.

He looked down at my hands and softly rubbed the backs of them with his thumbs before looking back up at me. "Bella, it's been really great to see you again. I know this is going to sound really lame and awkward but I was hoping that perhaps I could see you again sometime soon. I just really would love to have a good friend here who has known me for such a long time that I don't need to pretend around." He released one of my hands and ran it through his disheveled hair, making him look even more vulnerable than he already did. I didn't speak and waited for him to continue.

"My schedule is pretty crazy for the next couple weeks but I was hoping that perhaps we could find time in the next few days to get together outside of work and catch up." He let out a deep sigh and looked like he was now ready for my response.

"Edward, I would love to catch up with you. I don't have very many friends here but would love to maybe count you among them," I said sincerely.

"Thanks, Bella. I really mean that. You made my day. I was really dreading this interview and you made it palatable." He took both of my hands back in his and leaned down to gently kiss my cheek.

My knees almost gave out from the minute brush of his lips against my skin. It was heavenly and I could only think that I wanted his lips to touch more than just my cheek. I could feel my blush start to rise and took a step back.

"Bella, are you okay? You look a little flushed," he asked, dropping my hands and rubbing his along my cheekbone. He seemed to be genuinely concerned and not actually teasing me like most of my friends did when I blushed.

"I…I…I'm okay. Thanks, Edward," I stammered and turned the knob on the studio door, almost slamming right into Alice, who was on her way out.

"Bella, Edward, where did you guys go? I've been playing music for the last 10 minutes waiting for you guys to return. I was just heading out to look for you," she looked back and forth between the two of us, waiting for our response like a mother chiding her children.

"Edward needed a moment. We're good." I glanced over to him, nodding to see if he would agree with me.

"Okay, well get back in there and finish the segment up so poor Edward here can get on with his day." She hurried back into the studio holding the door for us to follow her.

Walking back into the studio, Edward put his headphones back on and I whispered to him, "I'm just going to be thanking you and promoting your album and a couple of your upcoming gigs. No more deep dark questions, okay?" I tried to sound reassuring.

"Okay, thanks," he said before casting his eyes back down toward the mike.

"You're back with B-girl in the AM and I would like to say a big thank you to Edward Masen for joining me here in the studio and for giving us a taste of what his album will be like," I said throatily. "Your album will be available tomorrow at all retailers and on iTunes. I think you have a couple of shows coming up in the area?" I asked wanting him to speak just so I could hear his melodic voice purr through my headphones.

"Thanks B-girl. It's been a pleasure being here this morning. Yes, I have a show on Saturday at the Greek Theater to benefit the UCLA Pediatric Burn Unit. Today I'll be at the Virgin Mega store on Sunset from one to three and tonight I'll be appearing on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. You can get tickets for the Greek on Ticketmaster and all of the proceeds go to the UCLA Burn unit." He smiled up at me through thick eyelashes.

I shook my head trying to understand what I had just heard. Edward was doing a benefit for the burn unit? I had been invited to go a while ago and didn't think about the connection until now. The air rapidly left my lungs and I began to feel like I was drowning. Edward just continued to look at me, confused as I tried to will myself to calm down.

"That's a great charity. Thanks so much again for coming," I squeaked out, holding my hand to my chest still trying to get enough air into my lungs. I clicked the switch, turning off the mikes in the studio, and placed my head in my hands, taking deep calculating breathes.

"Bella…Bella, are you okay?" Edward was at my side in an instant, a look of panic spreading out over his face.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Edward; I just got overwhelmed there for a minute." I tried to play it off as if it was nothing but nerves, but could see Edward's disbelieving look.

"Bella, I know there is something you're not telling me, but I won't push. Hopefully over time we'll be able to trust each other with our secrets," he whispered in my ear while rubbing my back and I was thankful that I would get out of the conversation once again.

Edward started to pack up his gear and I found myself wishing that I could leave with him and curl up in his warm, strong arms, feel his soft fingertips gently caressing my cheek and feeling his soft lips kissing me urgently. I was wondering how it was possible to become so attached to someone who I hadn't seen in seven years in a matter of an hour. I cleared my vision, noticing that I had been staring at Edward during my daydream, and that he was staring right back.

"Okay, Bella, I'm going to head out. Thanks again." He stood there waiting hesitantly, as if he wanted to say something but wasn't sure how it would be received. I waited, just cocking my head to the side and hopefully letting him know that it would be alright.

"Um…I was wondering if I could have your phone number? With my schedule so busy I was hoping that maybe I could call and talk? I have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of time stuck in traffic over the next few weeks," he smiled shyly and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, waiting for my response.

"Sure, Edward. I would like that a lot." I held my hand out for him to give me his phone. He handed over his Blackberry and I entered my number into it before grabbing mine out of my purse and handing it to him to do the same. He did and I watched as he pressed some other buttons and fiddled with some settings. I wasn't sure what he was doing, but for some reason I trusted him and didn't worry that he would be doing something malicious to my phone. He handed it back to me after a few minutes and gave me a mischievous grin.

"Edward, I should probably warn you that with my hours I tend to be napping between noon and two and I go to bed on the early side. Just a heads up," I said giving him a warning glance, only to let him know I was kidding with a slow lazy smile after a pregnant pause.

"I'll see you soon, Bella," he leaned in and gave me a quick hug and a soft kiss on my forehead before picking up his bags and walking towards the door. He turned suddenly and handed me something from his bag. "Here's an advance copy of my CD. Thought you might like it." He smiled and turned back for the door, stopping briefly to talk to Alice and then went on his way.

My forehead was tingling. Heck, there were other parts of my body that were tingling too, but I didn't have time to indulge any of them. I put my headphones back on and continued my shift in a foggy haze of unexplained emotions.


	4. Another Place To Fall

**Another Place To Fall**

**_A/N_**

_I'm changing the rating to M now for later chapters. There will be lemons to come, so bear with me!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight – The lovely Stephanie Meyer does – I own a 12 year old grocery-getter of a car and whole lot of Fisher Price little people._

_Thanks to my amazing betas Tara & Famouslyso/All At Once for correcting my crappy grammar and punctuation mistakes. They rock my world! _

_A big thanks to everyone who has put this on their favorites or story alerts. I really appreciate the support of my first effort!_

_B/E, Canon, slightly OOC, AU/AH_

**BPOV**

I had managed to avoid Alice for most of the rest of my shift, either running out to my desk or to get coffee whenever I had a break. I just wasn't ready for the interrogation that I knew was coming.

I had never acted that way around a man before in the presence of Alice and I knew that I was going to hear about it sooner or later. I wasn't shocked when my arm was grabbed as I was walking towards the parking garage at the end of my day.

"Bella. You, me, the Promenade, noon," she stated, glaring at me.

"Okay Alice, I'll see you then." I sighed and walked off towards my car.

We always met at the same little restaurant for lunch on the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica. It was our tradition whenever one of us needed to talk. Apparently Alice thought that I needed to talk. Of course after lunch she would try to persuade me to do a little shopping, which I usually managed to get out of.

I started the car and headed towards home.

An hour later I was sitting at a small outside table at World Café, waiting for my executioner to arrive.

I was fidgeting with the straw wrapper, tying it into knots, when I heard her approach.

"You have some explaining to do Miss Bella!" she said, taking a seat next to me at the table.

"What are you talking about?" I asked curiously, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Don't give me that. You knew Edward and didn't tell me!" She grabbed the straw and forcefully put it into her glass of water, still glaring at me.

"I didn't know it was Edward until I looked at the picture right before you screamed my name down the hall this morning. His last name was Cullen in high school. How was I supposed to know he was one and the same?" I explained.

Before she could get another word in, the waiter returned, asking us if we were ready to order.

"I'll have the Chicken Caesar," I said as I handed him back the menu.

"I'll have the black bean soup and the baby green salad with your house vinaigrette." Alice nodded at him as he took her menu and walked off.

"Okay, so you didn't know it was him, fine, but it sure looked like you guys were pretty cozy. How well did you guys know each other in high school?" I could tell she was inferring that we were intimate, but I would have to burst her bubble.

"Alice, we ran in different circles. He was this tall, lanky, amazing pianist who played with our band and the Seattle Youth Symphony. He was a straight A student who was a bit shy. I was in the popular crowd who partied and went to all the football games. We were in completely different worlds. I knew OF him, but can't say I really knew him," I said, reminiscing about a time when I wasn't shut off from the world. When I thought I was beautiful and could accomplish anything.

I shook my head and focused on the conversation.

Alice was looking at me as if she wasn't sure I was telling her everything.

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You and the hunk of the hour didn't run in the same circles AND you liked attention once upon a time?" She looked up at me, cocking her head in curiosity.

"Yes Alice, once upon a time I wasn't this timid, shy person who doesn't like attention. I was fun and outgoing and even had a date or two," I smiled, remembering the simpler times of childhood.

"So what happened? Bad breakup? Why are you so afraid that the world might notice you now?"

"It's a very long story and one that I don't want to get into, Alice," I said firmly as I took another sip of my lemonade.

"Bella, you know you can trust me, right?" Crap, she looked hurt that I was keeping secrets from her. How had I managed to keep this one for the last year? I knew I had to change the subject--fast.

A smile sprang to my face when I realized that I needed something to wear for Saturday's benefit.

"Alice, what do you say to a little shopping after lunch?" I winked at her as her face lit up in a split second.

"Really Bella, you mean it? You'll go shopping with me? What do you need to get? I need details if I'm going to steer you in the right direction," she said excitedly, twirling her fork in her fingers.

"I need something that is between casual and dressy. I'm going to an outdoor concert but will have to speak to a large crowd," I said, fidgeting with my salad, not wanting to look up at her.

"Is this a work thing? I haven't heard anything about it." She raised her eyebrow at me.

"No, it's actually a personal thing, are you going to help me or not?" I asked.

"Fine, let's finish up here. I have the rest of your afternoon mapped out. Hope you weren't expecting a nap today?" She grinned slyly.

We finished up lunch and strolled along the Promenade, window shopping until Alice finally found what she was looking for. She grabbed my hand and yanked me into one of the small boutiques along the outdoor shopping avenue.

"Bella, here try these on." She handed me a bunch of clothing and pushed me towards the fitting rooms. I looked at her blankly, trying to figure out how she managed to pick out so many clothes in the matter of a few seconds.

"Bella, GO. TRY. THOSE. ON!" she said, more forcefully this time.

I shuffled off towards the dressing room when I realized that almost all of the clothes she handed me were sleeveless or had some kind of plunging neckline.

"Alice, I don't wear sleeveless or low necklines. Try again." I shoved the articles of clothing back into her arms.

"Bella, please, will you for God's sake please just try these on to see what they look like before you put up your will and won't rules?" She shoved them back into my arms.

"Alice, I'm serious. Have you ever seen me wear sleeveless, backless or anything close to these ever in the last year?" My voice was quivering with the pent up frustration that was welling up inside me.

"Bella, you won't know if you like them until you try them on," she glowered back at me letting me know that she wasn't going to back down.

"Alice, I'm going to say this one last time. NO. Fucking. Way." I stormed past her, throwing the clothes in her face.

She lunged out and grabbed my arm spinning me around to where she stood, still holding the pile of multicolored fabric.

She shoved me into the dressing room, hung up the clothes on the hook and slammed the door in my angry face.

"For fucks sake, will you please just try them on? I'm not saying you have to buy them." She held the handle to the door so I couldn't escape. I was shocked at how strong she was.

"Really Alice, you REALLY want to do this? Fine, you want to see why I don't wear these types of clothes, FINE. I'll show you!" I was seething as I stripped off my long sleeved shirt and jeans and threw them on the floor. I grabbed the dress that was closest to me. It would have been pretty on anyone other than me I thought wistfully. My anger surged once again and I yanked the dress over my head pulling it down over my hips.

From the front it looked lovely. It was a silk crepe dress in periwinkle blue that fit my body like a glove. The draping made my small breasts look exquisite and the length made my legs look like they went on forever.

I turned around abruptly to view what the dress really looked like on me. I winced at the fiery red puckered skin that crept up over the top of the back of the dress and onto the back of my right shoulder. Four years had not made the scars look any more appealing. I could hear Alice pacing outside the door and yanked it open with a growl.

"Here Alice, are you happy?" I said standing before her.

"Oh Bella, you look gorgeous," she gasped bringing her hands in front of her mouth in awe.

"Really Alice? Because you haven't seen the view from the back yet" I spun around and glanced over my shoulder to see her reaction.

The look of glee quickly turned to shock as her hands stayed in front of her mouth.

I slammed the door shut to the dressing room and quickly put my clothes back on.

"Bella…I,,,I didn't know. I'm sorry. Why didn't you ever tell me?" I heard her stutter from the other side of the door.

"Because it wasn't any of your god damn business, that's why!" I opened the door almost tearing it off of its hinges and stomped past her and out the door.

I kept right on walking down the Promenade, the tears flowing from my eyes. I felt my anger start to fade as I walked farther down the street. I slowed down and decided to sit on a bench and wait for Alice to catch up. It wasn't her fault. I'm the one that had kept the secret locked up inside me for the last 4 years, not wanting to let anyone know how ugly I really was.

I sat there crying for a couple of minutes when I felt the bench shift from the weight of Alice's form. She put her arms around me and pulled me into her side and whispered, "I'm so sorry honey, I'm so sorry." We sat like that for a long time, neither one of us wanting to speak.

I finally raised my head, wiped the tears from my face hand looked over at Alice's worried face. "Why don't you come over and I'll tell you all about it?" I sighed heavily, stood and gestured for her to take my hand. She grasped it and we slowly walked the blocks leading back to my small house.

**EPOV**

It had been a long day. I was sitting in the back of the dark town car heading home after a successful meeting with Rosalie and Rihanna. We had decided to do a duet that would be the theme song for a new movie that was coming out over Thanksgiving. I liked collaborating with other musicians, as it gave me some much needed variety in my life.

It was close to eight o'clock and I wanted to have a little fun at my brother's expense.

I grabbed my phone and started texting.

_Emmett, your brother told me so much about you. I hope to meet you the next time you're here for a visit. By the way to answer your question, they are real and they are spectacular. XO Rihanna_

I hit send and knowing my brother, my phone would be ringing in about three seconds.

Sure enough the phone lit up in my hand.

"Hey Emmett, what's going on?" I answered causally.

"Dude, are you with her right now? Put her on. Let me talk to her." He gushed.

"Emmett, do you really think that I would tell Rihanna that you wanted me to check out her rack for you? Really?" I chuckled at him.

"Are you serious? You suck man. Oh, and nice touch with the _Seinfeld_ reference." He sounded so disappointed. "So how did the meeting go? Are you going to work with her?"

"Yeah, looks like we're going to do a duet for some big blockbuster opening over Thanksgiving," I said, fiddling with a thread that was poking out of the bottom of my shirt.

"Well, hopefully you'll introduce me sometime to make up for that lame prank."

"Yeah yeah, I'll try to do that Emmett. I gotta run. Have a good night. I'll see you Thursday."

"Yep, Thursday. See you then." He said before disconnecting the call.

I sat back against the seat and watched the dark lights of the coast fly by. I wanted to call Bella, but thought it might be too soon. What was the old saying, three day rule or something like that? I was never one to play games and didn't really want to start now.

I picked up the phone and dialed her number hoping that she would pick up.

"Hello?" a slurred voice said

"Bella, it's me Edward."

"Eddddwarrrd!" She slurred. "What are you doing?" Crap, she sounded really drunk.

"Bella, have you been drinking?" I asked worriedly.

"Yep."

"Are you alone?"

"Yep, but Jasper just came and picked Alice up. She was too drunk to drive," she mumbled.

"Bella, did you guys go out to celebrate something?" I hoped that this was the reason behind her being drunk on a Monday.

"Nope, not celebrating," she whispered.

"How long have you been drinking?" I asked, concern creeping into my voice.

"Dunno, maybe since two. We had a fight and I had to tell her everything. So we started drinking….do you know, Edward, that things are so much easier to say when you're drunk," she mumbled, barely coherent.

"Bella honey, what did you guys fight about?" I asked, concerned.

"Ssssecret" she slurred.

"What's a secret?"

"Our fight's a secret."

"Bella, you know you can tell me anything right?" I was playing with my hair again trying to figure out what secret she could possibly have.

"Nope, not telling," I heard muffled sounds and then a crash. "Ow!" I heard her say.

"Bella! Are you okay, what happened?" I was gripping the phone, waiting for her reply.

"Fine, I'm good." She slurred. "The wall jumped right out at me," she giggled under her breath.

"Okay Bella, why don't you go to bed? I'll call you tomorrow. I really want to ask you something, but want you in the right frame of mind.

"Okay Edward. Thanks for calling," she sing-songed before ending the call.

I rubbed my face with my hand, trying to scrub away the headache that was forming behind my eyes.

What was Bella hiding that she didn't want me to know about? I hoped someday to find out.

I saw that we were pulling up to my house and I punched the code into the box by the driveway. The gate opened and Garrett pulled the car though.

He got out and opened the door for me. "Thanks Garrett. I appreciate you driving me around today," I said as I shook his hand. He opened the trunk and handed me my keyboard and gave me a little wave.

"See you tomorrow Mr. Masen." he said before getting into the car and driving away.

I walked up to the front door and let myself in, punching the code to my alarm as soon as I walked in. The place was dark, except for a couple of lights that were set to timers. Thank heavens for my mother. She always thought of everything.

I set my keyboard down and headed towards the bar on the other side of the kitchen. I grabbed a glass and put two ice cubes in it before pouring myself a generous amount of single malt scotch.

I took a deep gulp and sat down on one of the bar stools. What was I getting myself into? I had abandoned my schoolboy crush on Bella years ago, thinking I would never see her again. But today she reappeared in my life like an oasis in the desert. All the feelings that I had for her once upon a time came rushing back to me. This time it was different, she actually talked to me and gave me her number. The rest was up to me; I finally had a chance to get to know her and I didn't want to screw it up. She was a mystery that I hoped would be worth solving.

I took another swig and headed back to the solarium hoping that inspiration would strike. I felt like making some music.

~~~***~~~

**BPOV**

Work had gone agonizingly slow today and the hangover from hell wasn't really helping things much. At least Alice was feeling about as well as I was when she came in. We worked like robots putting in just enough work to get us through the day before we departed for our homes in search of a well needed nap.

I had just opened the door to my house when my phone rang. It was a ring that wasn't normal for my phone but one that I knew I should recognize. I finally dug it out of my purse to see his name lit up on the front. EDWARD. I flipped open the phone quickly to answer it.

"Hi Edward," I said in the most chipper voice I could manage after a hellish night of drinking.

"Bella, I trust you're feeling better today?" he asked, chuckling under his breath.

"What do you mean?" I asked, honestly confused by his statement.

"I figured as much. I called you last night. You don't remember a thing, do you?" the concern rising in his voice.

"Uh… mmm… yeah, you got me. I was a mess last night and don't remember much after Alice left," I said truthfully.

"Are you okay? You said that you and Alice got into a fight." He sounded worried and I kind of liked it.

"Yeah, I'm really hungover but we're okay." I walked over to the couch and slung by laptop bag down on to it.

"Okay, I won't keep you, I'm guessing you could use a nap. I just wanted to ask you if you'd like to come to the Laker game on Thursday night. I'm singing the national anthem and my publicist got us a box for the game. I'm pretty sure Alice will be there and I'd really like it if you came," he pleaded.

"Wow, the Laker game. I would love to go, I don't have anything going on Thursday. Should I catch a ride with Alice? I'm guessing you have to be there on the earlier side," I rambled nervously.

_Was Edward Cullen asking me out on a date? Granted it was with a group of people, but still, he wanted to see me again. _I couldn't help but smile thinking about it.

"Um, yeah, I suppose you should catch a ride. I'll make sure you get home okay, but I do have to be there about an hour before tipoff."

"Okay, no problem, I'll talk to Alice later and work it all out. Thanks Edward." I said shyly.

"Great! I'm really looking forward to seeing you again. Get some rest."

"I will. Talk to you later."

"Till then," and the line went silent.

_Oh my gosh. I have a date with Edward Cullen. Crap, I mean Edward Masen. That's going to take some getting used to. _

I stepped out of my work clothes and put on a large t-shirt and climbed swiftly into bed. My head was still spinning from the thought about having a date. My eyes started to drift closed and a grin etched into my face when a thought caught me out of the blue. My eyes shot open and I groaned.

_I hadn't had a date since the accident. What was I doing?_

I grabbed the pillow and slammed it over my head hoping to drown out all my insecure thoughts and doubts if I could actually do this.

Sleep finally came and I woke up a few hours later feeling infitely better.

**EPOV**

I was happy that Bella had accepted my invitation for Thursday. I knew that it wouldn't really be a date with so many others around, but it seemed like a very good step in the right direction. _Baby steps Edward, baby steps_, I thought to myself. I didn't want to come on too strong. How do you tell someone you've had a crush on them for the last nine years? As an adult it seemed silly to express such a childlike emotion. A crush. I rolled my eyes and continued walking.

My afternoon meeting had finished up early and since I was so close to the beach I decided to take a quick walk. When I told Garrett of my plans, he nodded but reminded me that I wouldn't be alone. The paparazzi had seen me go into the restaurant and watched me walk out. I tried to ignore them and just kept striding out onto the sand. I kicked my shoes off, picked them up and walked for a ways. I heard the snaps of their cameras and the shouts for me to turn around, but I ignored them and kept walking.

I looked out at the almost empty beach to see a lone umbrella with a familiar brunette sitting beneath it.

She looked happy reading a book while overlooking the sea. It was getting late in the afternoon and the sun was low in the sky and shining a lovely amber glow around her. I decided that I didn't want to disturb her, especially with the ten extra people I had surrounding me. I sat on a bench and pulled out my phone and sent her a text.

_Are you by any chance at the beach? E_

I watched her from afar as she pulled out her phone from her bag and read my message.

_As a matter of fact I am, where R U? B_

_Turn around, U can't miss me – E_

I watched her turn her head as a look of shock registered in her face as she saw my bench surrounded by photographers.

_I didn't want to bother you. But couldn't help myself. – E_

_I'm sorry E. That sucks. How was your day? – B_

_Busy, but much better since I've run into U. I thought u were napping? – E_

_I was Am feeling better now – B_

_Good to hear What R U reading? – E_

_Trashy beach read I'm sure you've never heard of it. – B_

_And I thought you would be a classics type of girl – E_

_Normally I am but I like mindless when I sit here. – B_

_R U busy 2nite? – E_

_No, what did U have in mind? – B _

What did I have in mind? I looked up at her and she still had her head turned towards me waiting for my next text. My fingers typed what my heart was saying but now that my brain was involved I was nervous. I guess you don't win anything unless you try.

I let out a sigh and typed, _Would U like 2 come 2 my house for dinner? – E_

I looked up at her and she smiled when she read it.

_I'd love 2 what time? – B_

_How about 6? Will that give U enough time? – E_

Geez, will that give me enough time to shop and make dinner? I didn't really know but was sure as hell going to try.

_Perfect – B_

_My driver will pick you up at 6 what's ur address? – E_

_2122 9th street. Corner of 9th and California – little bungalow with blue shutters. - B_

_I'll see you then. – E_

I gave her a small wave before getting up and walking back toward my waiting car.

I had a date with Bella Swan. Now what was I going to cook for her?

**_A/N_**

_Guess it's date time next chapter!!! Thanks for reading this, I know it's a bit short!! _

_I would love to hear your thoughts on my story though – so please review if you have a couple of seconds to tell me what you think. No flaming please, but constructive criticism is welcome._

_Hopefully the next chapter won't take me as long to get out!! Thanks for your patience._


	5. Breathless

_**A/N**_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Twilight – The lovely Stephanie Meyer does – No infringement intended… trust me, no one would pay for this… _

_Thanks to my amazing beta __**Tara**__ for sticking with me and for my two new betas – __**carrie9142**__ and __**witch isit. **Thanks__ for correcting my crappy grammar and punctuation mistakes. They really deserve so much credit for all their hard work and I really do mean hard work when it comes to editing my writing._

_Thanks to everyone who has put this on their favorites or story alerts. I really appreciate the support of my first effort!_

_So it's time for DATE NIGHT!!_

_B/E, Canon, slightly OOC, AU/AH_

_**Breathless**_

**BPOV**

After Edward's texts I quickly packed up my beach gear and walked the ten blocks home. I couldn't believe that he had asked me out. My mind was whirring and thoughts were flying around in my brain faster than I could even comprehend them.

_I have a date with one of the most eligible bachelors on the planet! What am I thinking? _I wrung my hands together so tightly that I felt pain shooting though my knuckles. The knots in my stomach could have rivaled anything a Boy Scout could have tied. _Just breathe Bella, it's only dinner and he only wants to be your friend. It's not even really like a date. It's just dinner. _I repeated this over and over in my head like a Buddhist mantra trying to will myself into calm contemplation; unfortunately it wasn't working in the slightest.

As soon as I had gotten home, I called in the big guns. Alice's squeal of glee when I called her for help could probably be heard all the way down in San Diego. She was currently on her way to help me get dressed and beautified. I had never called her for help in a situation like this and I didn't know what to expect. I hadn't been on a date in over four years and never took time to do anything with my appearance other than make sure my scars were covered and I didn't look like death warmed over. Not high standards to say the least.

My door bell rang shaking me out of my worrying. I walked over and yanked open the heavy wooden door. My petite friend stood in front of me, her arms loaded down with a makeup case and a pile of clothes.

"Are you going to let me in? This shit is heavy." She stood in the doorway, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Come on in, but I must say I'm a bit concerned by the arsenal you brought with you. Am I that much of a lost cause?" I pouted heading farther into my living room and plopping down on my overstuffed couch.

"Bella, quit with the self deprecating shit. It's really not attractive, and you're not a lost cause; you're a diamond in the rough." She grinned, grabbing my hands and yanking me back upright and pulling me towards my bedroom.

"I told Jasper that you had a date with Edward and he was a bit shocked by the news. Apparently Edward doesn't date, at least nobody that he's told Jasper about." she said conspiratorially.

"Hmmm…maybe he's some sexual deviant who's going to want me to pee on him or something." I said half jokingly as I remembered an old _Sex in the City_ episode.

"Bella!" She smacked my shoulder hard as she pushed me down onto the bed. "I'm sure he's just shy. I just thought you should know that he wasn't some womanizing freak." She huffed, setting out the clothes onto the bed.

"Whatever… If you don't hear from me tomorrow, call the police." I smirked, waiting for the torture to begin.

"Okay, let's see…" she said evaluating all the clothes she had laid out on my bed. "I found some things in my closet that I will fit you. You should find them appropriate." I cringed at the way she said _appropriate_ as if she was trying to find a nice way to tell me to cover my ugly scars.

"Alright Alice." I sighed dramatically. "Let me have it." I sat resigned to let her play dress up with me.

After twenty minutes she finally settled on a raspberry colored ballet neck top that showed off my delicate collar bone. She kept trying to get me into some cleavage bearing "can't freaking breathe because I'm so tight" shirts, but I quickly vetoed those. This was about as sexy as I was willing to go. She paired it with a charcoal grey pencil skirt that hit just above the knee. She also loaned me her black peep toe pumps which had a modest heel, since she knew that I could barely walk in ballet flats, let alone more than an inch.

She spent the rest of the hour making my wavy hair look like I had just spent the last few hours being ravaged in bed. After applying my makeup and giving me a little lip gloss for shine, she declared herself master of the makeover and headed home to have dinner with Jasper.

I kept glancing in the mirror trying to figure out who exactly was looking back at me. It was me, but well…beautiful. I suppose I should have given into Alice's magic hands long ago and perhaps my self esteem would be a couple pegs higher on the self-worth charts.

She had applied a shimmery gold eye shadow that made the gold flecks in my brown eyes sparkle in the light. The eyeliner made my eyes appear twice their size and the carefully applied mascara gave me long, thick lashes. My bobbed hair was a mass of waves surrounding my face with my bangs swept off to the side. A tear almost escaped from the corner of my eye as I thought about how mature and attractive I looked, but I caught it just in time, not wanting to ruin Alice's hard work. It had been so long since I felt pretty that my emotions were getting the best of me. _Get a grip Bella,_ y_ou look hot! Work it. _I thought to myself grabbing my purse off the dresser. I glanced up at the clock just as my door bell rang.

I took a deep breath and opened the door slowly. Standing before me was a kind looking man in a chauffeur's uniform. "Good evening Miss Swan." he nodded his head touching the brim of his hat. "I'm Garrett, Mr. Masen's driver. Are you ready to go?" He stood, holding out his arm for me to grasp.

"Thank you, yes. And please, call me Bella." I said turning around and locking the door. This was the first time I ever had someone other than my date pick me up and it was a weird feeling. Being picked up by a driver was something that was going to take a little getting used to. I just hoped that Edward hadn't changed from the affable guy I was acquainted with in High School now that he had money. I knew plenty of people in the music industry who forgot who they were once they became wealthy and famous and I just hoped Edward wasn't one of them.

"Mr. Masen would like to extend his apologies for not picking you up personally but with the paparazzi, he didn't want your home to be compromised in any way." He opened the door and held my hand as I stepped in.

"Oh, okay." I muttered settling in for the ride to Edward's house, although I wasn't sure where it was. I hadn't asked Edward. "Garrett, where does Edward live?" I asked curiously.

"He's in Malibu. The drive should take between 20 or 30 minutes to get there." He said, pulling out of my driveway and heading towards the Pacific Coast Highway.

I sat back against the black leather seats and watched the lights of Santa Monica fade from view. The cliffs above the highway were littered with homes balancing at precarious levels over the road. I always wondered what possessed people to buy a home perched on a cliff like that. With one good earthquake, everything they owned could end up in a pile of rubble at the base of the hill. I shook away the thought thinking it too morbid and tried to focus on the job at hand. I needed to stay calm and relaxed. I didn't need to have a panic attack in front of Edward. Lord knows what he would think of me then. _The cute girl I went to high school got on the crazy bus. Run far, far away._ I shuddered at the thought and once again tried to calm my frazzled nerves.

The car slowed down and turned left into a driveway before making a complete stop. Garrett opened his window and pressed the intercom button on the console outside of the car.

"Mr. Masen, Miss Swan is here."

"Thanks Garrett." I heard Edward's reply come through the box.

With a loud buzz, the gates in front of us opened wide to let the car though.

When the gates opened my jaw just about hit the floor. In front of me was the most beautiful home I had ever seen. It was a sweeping Spanish hacienda style with a red tile roof and a decorative brick driveway. The driveway ended in a circle that was centered with lush flowers and greenery.

I took a deep breath, not believing that I was going to be hanging out there tonight.

Garrett stopped the car in front of a door that actually looked more like a wrought iron gate in front of an intricately carved wooden door.

The door opened and Garrett stuck out his hand to help me out of the car.

I stepped out of the car as gracefully as I could in my heels and tight skirt, trying not to give poor Garrett a show of the 'men will be begging to fuck you' undies Alice also picked out for the event. I blushed just thinking about the miniscule thong I was wearing as I stood upright. By the time I looked up at the door again, Edward was waiting for me with his hand outstretched for me to grasp.

"Thank you Garrett. Have a good night. I'll see you in the morning." he said dismissing him for the evening.

"My pleasure, Mr. Masen. I hope you and Bella have a good evening." Garrett said before climbing back into his car and heading back down the drive.

"Bella, I'm so happy you were free tonight." He brought our entwined hands up to his mouth and kissed the back of my hand gently.

"I'm glad you called." I said shyly, looking down at the ground.

"I'm glad you answered." He squeezed my hand, leading me into the huge house.

My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets again at the sight of the inside of his home. A sweeping staircase led up to the second floor from the foyer. A beautiful crystal chandelier hung about the stairs casting a dim glow.

The foyer split into two, each going around the staircase. Straight ahead was a large great room and to the left, a formal dining room.

He looked back at me and smiled. "Are you coming?" He tugged at my hand to lead me in the direction of the great room.

_Not yet, but I can see the potential… GAH!! _I shook the dirty thought out of my head. _This was a freaking first date Bella; get a grip,_ I chastised myself. I felt as if I had suddenly stepped in quicksand. My feet barely moving. I felt like I was walking in slow motion and I couldn't figure out why. He grinned lazily back at me, still tugging on my hand as I continued to gawk at the beautiful home.

I took in my surroundings as we entered the great room. To the right was a large family room with two dark brown leather sofas and four off white wingback chairs. The room was painted a deep wine color with opulent fabrics adorning the floor to ceiling windows. Against the back wall was a large ornate fireplace with two more overstuffed chairs with a small side table sitting between them. To the left was a huge gourmet kitchen with beautiful Viking appliances that I was starting to drool over.

"Um Edward… Can I marry your kitchen?" I asked, elbowing him in the ribs.

"Oh, yeah, this is one of my favorite rooms in the house. Do you like to cook?" He cocked his eyebrow and pulled out a stool for me to sit on at the large island.

"Yes, I love to cook, but when you're only cooking for one, it tends to lose its appeal." I said, my hands caressing the smooth granite countertop.

"Can I get you something to drink? Wine, Scotch, water…"

"Wine would be great, red if you have some open?" I interrupted.

"I just opened some a few minutes ago." he walked over towards the bar at the far end of the kitchen and poured me a generous glass of cabernet.

I watched his smooth forearm muscles tighten as he poured the wine. His beautiful hair was in perfect disarray, looking like spun copper beneath the recessed lights. _God he looks sexy, _I thought to myself. He was wearing dark jeans that hugged his ass perfectly. His light grey v-neck sweater accented his muscled physique perfectly without being overtly so. The sleeves were pushed up to his elbows showing off his smooth muscled forearm. I ogled over the way his muscles contracted when he poured the wine into my glass. _God, I'm a sucker for a strong forearm and lithe hands…. I wonder what he could do with those remarkable hands…_ _I could imagine him running them down the crease between my bare breasts relishing the contrast between his callused hands and my smooth skin... When he played in my studio his fingers were so nimble and long. God, those long fingers inside me…_ I was starting to squirm as my body reacted to my arousal.

He started walking back towards me and I realized I had been staring. _Good grief Bella, could you be any more obvious? You've now gotten caught checking him out twice in two days. _I groaned as I tried to give him a timid smile.

"Thanks." I muttered shyly as he handed me the glass. He bent down and whispered in my ear, "You look so delectable sitting in my kitchen."

My face flamed a deep shade of burgundy and I could feel the lower part of my body react to his comment. I looked down at my glass and played with the stem, unable to make eye contact with him.

He backed up and gestured for me to take his hand once again. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes, would you like the tour beforehand?"

I nodded and grasped his hand, interlacing my fingers with his and stood up. My hand felt like it was on fire from the electricity pulsing between us.

We exited the kitchen and entered the formal dining room. The chandelier that hung above the table had small glass balls dropping down from a center orb and emitted a soft glow into the room. It was modern, yet still fit in with the rest of the décor.

In the middle of the room was a large mahogany table with beautiful carved inlays surrounding the outside edges and large high back chairs surrounding it. The walls were a dark blue with white wainscoting below the chair rail. The drapes were also white and blue with an intricate pattern weaving itself through it.

"Edward, your house is amazing." I kept gazing around, taking in all the beauty surrounding me.

"Thanks, although I can't take credit for the décor, my mom did it." he shrugged and tugged me forward back to the foyer.

We ascended the stairs to the second floor, revealing two wings of rooms. He pointed down to the right and said, "There are three guest rooms and another full bath down there." Nodding to the left and pulling me forward again, he said, "Here is the master suite and library." He opened the door on the right side of the hallway and waited for me to enter. He flipped the switch to illuminate the library in warm golden light. It was splendid. The walls were lined in cherry inset bookcases that were stacked floor to ceiling with books of every shape and size. My mouth fell open once again as I spun around slowly to take it all in.

Edward just stood there watching me for a while leaning against the doorframe with his ankles crossed. "So you like it, huh?" He smiled crookedly.

"Wow…I love it so much I may cheat on the kitchen with it." I teased, skimming my hands lovingly over the bindings in the case before me. I peered at the spines to see what this section was for. It was medical journals of all ages.

"Some of those are mine and some are my dad's and grandfather's." Edward walked up behind me and slid his arm beside me almost touching my waist as he slid one of the books from its place.

"Edward, this is so amazing." I gushed, spinning out from under his arm. My heart was racing and we hadn't even had dinner yet. I needed a little distance to get some perspective on the sudden rush of feelings. Hormones that had long been dormant were suddenly very much alive and kicking.

"Would you like to see the rest of the house? I think dinner is probably about done." He grabbed my hand once again and we walked out towards his room.

To say the bedroom was grand would have been an understatement. The large bed was a dark cherry four poster that was high off the ground, obviously the centerpiece of the room. The soft latte-colored walls were accented beautifully by the chocolate brown bed linens. A series of black and white sketches of tastefully done nudes were so delicately drawn that I couldn't take my eyes off of them.

"Edward, who did these drawings; they're stunning." I said as I walked forward to get a closer look at them.

"My mom did them. She was an artist before she opened up her interior design studio." He tucked his arm around my waist and steered me towards the French doors across the room. "This has one of the best views of sunset." He swung the door open to his veranda that overlooked the dark ocean below. The sun had set a while ago but the moonlight ghosted its light across the waves. Just as we were about to sit down we could hear the timer going off down in the kitchen.

"I guess that's our cue that dinner is ready." he steered me back inside and down the stairs.

I sat back down on a stool and enjoyed the view of him bending over to take dinner out of the oven.  
"So Chef Masen, what have you served up for tonight?" I teased.

"We're having stuffed shells." he said setting the pan on the counter. "I hope you like Italian."

I nodded enthusiastically. "It smells delicious." I said, sniffing the air and taking a sip from my wine.

"Thanks, it's my mom's recipe." He said, serving them onto our plates.

He handed me two plates filled with our dinner of stuffed shells and a mixed salad and pointed towards the small breakfast nook that was nestled in the far corner of the kitchen. It had bench seating on two sides and looked cozy. Edward followed with our wine glasses, placing them on the table so he could light the small candle that was centered in the table. I sat down and watched as he walked across the kitchen to dim the recessed lights and fiddled with some settings on a console on the wall. Music suddenly was piped in through various speakers located on the ceiling around the room. Watching him walk back to the table, I was taken aback by how utterly handsome he was. Age had served him well and his formerly lanky body was filled in with nice muscle tone. His face had taken on a rugged appearance rather than the soft youthful one I had been used to in high school.

He sat down next to me and leaned his head on his hand watching me. "Bella, you look so beautiful tonight. Thank you for having dinner with me." Continuing his mental assessment of me, he added, "I really like your hair, it looks really good short. Brings out your beautiful brown eyes." He was staring at me from beneath his impossibly long lashes and it made my stomach flutter.

"Um, thanks." My hand unconsciously reached up to tuck the strands behind my ear. "It's finally growing back… err… I cut it and it's finally growing out." I stumbled over the words remembering why my beautiful long hair no longer existed. Thankfully Edward just shrugged and said nonchalantly. "Well, I like it." before he picked up his wine glass and raised it for a toast. I grabbed mine and raised it to his.

"To reconnecting with old friends." He smiled down at me and clinked my glass.

"To building new friendships from old acquaintances." I said, clinking his.

**EPOV**

I had spent the evening cleaning my house and preparing my mom's stuffed shells recipe. I was nervous and the clock ticked by quicker than I thought possible. When the intercom finally buzzed, my hands were a shaky sweaty mess. Thankfully when I opened the door and saw Bella step out of the car, all nervousness seemed to disappear at the sight of her loveliness. As if she were my own brand of Zanax, a sense of calm surrounded me as soon as I took her hand.

After giving her the tour of the upstairs we had settled in to dinner and I couldn't control my staring at her. She was so beautiful. She was pretty in high school, but now she was stunning. Her hair was slightly disheveled in a halo of waves. Her brown eyes twinkled in the dim lights and her legs… _Oh God- her legs were a thing of beauty,_ I smiled to myself. I longed to run my hands over her supple calves and up her creamy thighs. I had spent so many nights dreaming of slowly taking off her clothes and worshiping every inch of her body. The thought of making her writhe beneath me as I gave her more pleasure that she had never known made me groan internally. I couldn't' wait to see the look of desire and ecstasy on her face as she came undone because of me. I shook my head and shifted in my seat hoping to relieve some of the pressure that was pushing against the zipper of my jeans. I looked up and tried to start a conversation as we began eating.

"So Bella--"

"So Edward--" we both said at the same time.

"It's okay, please go ahead." I nodded signaling that she should begin.

"Where did you learn to cook like this? Dinner is delicious." she said taking another bite of her pasta.

"Actually, I learned by watching my mom and aunts cook for holiday meals. As I'm sure you remember, back in high school, I wasn't much of a jock, so when the rest of the guys in the family would be outside tossing the ball around or watching the big game, I was in the kitchen learning how to cook. Then once I had the basics down, I would make dinner for my family once or twice a week. I must say you're the first person to enjoy my cooking in this house. I just broke in my kitchen." I smiled and shrugged looking at her over my wine glass. I took a long sip and waited for another question.

"So I'm your first victim? I popped your kitchen's cherry…" she teased laughing heartily. "When did you move here if you're just now breaking in your kitchen?" She asked, taking a swallow from her wine glass.

"Just this weekend. I moved on Saturday. I was over in Century City before."

"Really, you just moved in here? Where are all your boxes? I moved this weekend too and my house is in a complete shambles." she inquired.

I chuckled slightly taking another long drink of cabernet. "My mom decorated before I moved in and most of my boxes and other belongings are in the guest rooms I didn't show you." I winked and smiled, letting her know I wasn't as neat and organized as she might have assumed.

"Oh thank God, I was starting to think I was a slacker or something. It's nice to know you're not as perfect as you seem." She laughed and took another bite of her dinner.

"Bella, do you go back to Forks often?" I immediately noticed her stiffen at my question and I felt instant regret flood my brain. Her back straightened and her hand clenched so tightly around the stem of her glass that I thought it might snap.

"No" she said tersely. "You?"

"No, not often. My parents moved into an apartment in Seattle after I graduated but kept the house there. We go there for holidays or summers sometimes. Dad started working at Seattle General and Mom opened up her own design studio. It was always a dream of hers. The only reason they were in Forks to begin with was so we could grow up in a small town." I was rambling trying to keep the conversation going but I could tell by looking at her downcast eyes that her mind was now far away from the discussion I was having.

_Okay Edward, time to change the subject_, I thought angrily to myself.

She glanced up and cocked her head to the side a little, as if she was noticing something for the first time. "Who is this singing? She's got an amazing voice." she asked softly.

"It's Eva Cassidy; she's one of my favorites. This is her remake of Sting's _Fields of Gold. I_t's amazing isn't it?" She didn't reply, just sat listening, a small smirk playing on her face.

"Not to sound morbid, but I actually have it in my will that this song is to be played at my funeral." I shot her a crooked grin.

"Um, yeah, that's a little morbid." she laughed. I was relieved to see that she appeared to be coming out of the fog of sadness that she fell into earlier in our conversation.

There was a lull in the conversation for a few moments as we finished up the rest of our meal. When we were both finished, I stood up taking the plates. "Bella, I didn't have time to make dessert, but I did stop by my favorite Italian restaurant in the Palisades and picked up some tiramisu. Would you like to share it with me?" I cocked my eyebrow at her as I placed the dirty dishes into the dishwasher.

"I'd love some. Thanks." she smiled softly.

"Would you care for some more wine?" I asked holding out the bottle towards her glass. She nodded and held her glass up for me to refill.

After pulling out the dessert from the refrigerator, I walked back over to the table and set it down and handed her one of the two forks in my hand.

"Thanks." she smiled and took a bite. Closing her eyes, she moaned slightly as her tongue swept the cocoa powder off of her bottom lip as she swallowed. It was ridiculously sensuous and I could feel my pants getting a little tighter.

_Get your mind out of the gutter Cullen. Focus on something else. Hell, I didn't even know if she thought this was a first date,_ I chastised myself.

"Bella, would you like to play a game?" I asked suddenly feeling a little bold.

She looked at me curiously and shrugged. "Sure, what did you have in mind?"

"Have you ever played questions? It's sort of an ice breaker kind of game where each person asks a question that they both must answer truthfully. You get two passes to not answer a question you're uncomfortable with. If you pass on a question, the same question can't be asked later on or rephrased. You game?" I smirked, throwing her a challenge.

"Bring it on Masen." She smirked right back

"Okay, let's start with something easy, how about…What's your favorite color?"

"Blue. Yours?"

"Blue as well. Your turn." I said, taking a deep sip from my glass.

"What's your favorite time of day?" She said looking up at me through long black lashes.

"Sunset, it's when everything seems to slow down for the day. You?"

"Hmm… is that why you named your album Twilight?" She smiled and played with the stem of her glass.

"Actually no, it was sort of a compromise. My song _Brown Eyes_ was originally titled _Twilight Reflected in Brown Eyes_, but Jasper thought the name was too long. We decided to change the name to _Brown Eyes_ and the title of the album, _Twilight."_ I looked back up at her to see that she had placed her head in her hand and was gazing up at me in fascination. "What?" I asked.

"You're just so amazing. I can't get over it. Sorry." She shook her head as if trying to clear whatever thought she had rolling around in there.

"My favorite time of day is dawn. It's a time of renewal and a fresh start. I guess I'm an optimist at heart." She shrugged and took another bite of the dessert.

"What's your favorite food?"

"Pizza, lame and cliché, but true." she grinned over at me.

"I love crab legs, I could eat them by the ton. If you like seafood, I know this great little dive up the coast I'd love to take you to sometime." I took one more bite of the delicious dessert and watched her as she about her next question.

"Okay what's your cocktail of choice?" She said, playing with the rim of her glass.

"I'm a single malt scotch on the rocks kind of guy." I tried to give her my manliest look but she laughed, so I guess that failed.

"I'm an Absolut and tonic with a twist of lemon sort of girl. Give me more than two though and my verbal filter sort of goes to shit." she grinned taking another sip of her wine.

"Hmm… I will have to remember that for later." I teased. "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?" I rested my head on my hand so I could gaze deeper into her coffee colored eyes.

She didn't even have to think about it. "Paris, it's beautiful and yes I know cliché, but it's right in the center of Europe and easy to vacation all around the continent." She looked wistful again but spoke before I could ask her about it. "I've never been out of the US actually, so I really wouldn't know, but that's where I think I'd like to go. I'm sure you're a seasoned traveler, what about you?" She gazed back into my eyes.

"I'm not sure I can choose. Maybe just a yacht so that I could sail anywhere I wanted. There are just too many places for me to pick." I said shrugging. _God, I would love to take her around the world and show her all the amazing sights. It's too soon to say anything like that, but I will show her the world one day, _I resolved to myself.

"That was kind of a cop out of an answer, but I'll let it slide." She nudged my knee with hers. "Okay, the wine is talking now. When was your first kiss?" She asked shyly.

"Mine was in fourth grade at Molly Andrews' birthday party. We played seven minutes in heaven. It was with Jenna Peterson. What about you?" I said placing my fork down on the plate.

"Stevie Issac, fifth grade on the playground after school because Shelly Walker dared me." She looked so pleased with herself.

"A dare huh… I guess I better not play truth or dare with you." I teased. "Okay let's try something more challenging." I smiled wickedly. "When did you lose your virginity?" The wine must be starting to loosen me up a little also as I suddenly had courage that I had never before possessed when talking to a woman especially Bella.

She tried to cover the shocked look on her face but grinned slyly back at me and said, "I was 20 and he was my first real boyfriend, you?"

"I was also 20 and it was with some random girl that I met when I was drunk at my own keg party. My friends had been encouraging her to hit on me and me to keep drinking." I looked down at my plate in shame wondering what she must think of me now.

"Okay, my turn." she had a mischievous look in her eyes as she said, "How many people have you slept with?"

I almost spit out the wine that was in my mouth, but managed to swallow it before starting with a coughing fit. I was seriously thinking about taking a pass on this one. I wasn't sure I really wanted her to know. Then again, if I really wanted a relationship with her, I would need to be honest and upfront. Trust was important to me and I didn't want to start by lacking in that important quality.

"Um…" I mumbled gazing down at my glass and wishing that I could hide under the table. "Just one." I peeked up to see her puzzled face. She must have thought just like everyone else did that since I was famous I would be screwing every pair of legs that graced my presence. But I wasn't like that. "I sort of have always had an ideal woman that most women can't even come close to, which is why I didn't lose my virginity until I was blasted out of my head." I said somberly.

"What type of woman?" She timidly asked fidgeting with her napkin. "I only ask because I'm not sure why I'm here if your standards are so high..." she looked defeated by my previous words.

"Oh God, Bella… um, no you don't understand." I stuttered willing myself to continue. "Um… can I confess something to you? Will you promise to not get angry?" I pleaded finally looking up into her wet eyes.

"Of course, you can tell me anything." She held out her hand gesturing me to take it in mine.

I softly clasped her hand and began running my thumb in circles over the back of her delicate skin.  
"I… I have had a crush on you since the first time I met you." I kept looking at our hands and not at her face not wanting to see the rejection that I was sure would be there.

"Tenth grade biology." We both whispered at the same time.

I slowly slid my eyes up to her face to see her sweetly smiling at me.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" She was now running her fingertips softly on my palm.

I looked at her as if she was crazy. "Right, like me, Edward Cullen, the shy skinny band geek was going to approach the beautiful and popular Bella Swan back in high school. You've got to be kidding me?" I laughed.

"Edward, you were gorgeous even back then. You were amazing on the piano and every girl in our grade wanted to get into your pants. You were the shy, mysterious and utterly unattainable Edward Cullen. I think your view of yourself is a bit skewed." she smiled warmly at me still playing with my hand sending little shockwaves down to my toes.

"So you've always been my standard that no one has yet to reach." I continued shyly. "I am so happy I ran into you yesterday and I'm even happier that I had the courage to ask for your number." I beamed embarrassingly up at her but was so far gone there was little ego left in me.

"I hope that I can live up to your expectations Edward. I should probably confess something to you too." she said hesitantly, pulling her hand out from under mine and began playing with her wine glass again.

"I've only been with one person as well." A blush crept up over her cheeks as she continued. "I'm seriously broken Edward, you don't even know how much." She shook her head and kept her eyes down at her glass. "But I would like to try this, whatever IT is if you'll promise to be patient." she glanced up at me looking sad and so vulnerable. I reached out and took back her hand and brought it up to my lips giving it a gentle soft kiss.

"Bella, I would wait forever for you. Can I ask you one thing?" I tilted my head and looked lovingly into her eyes. "Did someone hurt you?" I left the implication of the meaning hanging with the sentence.

"Oh, God no." she shook her head violently from side to side. "I broke myself, no one to blame but me." She said still not meeting my eyes.

"Okay, fair enough. Slow it is." I grasped her hand as I stood up. "Would you like to see the rest of my house?" I smiled trying to get her to reciprocate the look.

"Sure, I'd love to." she stood up and walked next to me towards the stairs leading to the game room.

We walked to the far side of the great room and walked down a few steps into another large room. The game room was surrounded by windows overlooking the ocean. In the far corner was a poker table ready for six. In the middle of the room stood a beautiful large pool table with intricately carved wooden legs, one of my prized possessions. It was an antique that came from Europe. I'm not sure where my mom found it, but I loved it dearly. The large flat screen TV was set up in the back of the room with controllers for my gaming system.

"Edward, you like to play pool? Now that is one sport I can get in to." she said running her hands lovingly over the green felt bumpers, while walking around the table.

"I'm not exactly sure if pool counts as a sport, but yes, I have been known to enjoy a good game or two." I grinned at her from the other side.

"What do you mean it's not a sport?" She feigned shock. "Isn't everything they show on ESPN a sport?" She giggled, walking back to the side I was standing on.

"Ah yes, I forgot. I guess that makes poker a sport then, too." I elbowed her as she made her way to my side. "When did you learn to play?"

"In college. It was a fun way to release stress and they had one in the basement of my dorm. One of my good friends taught me. We'll have to play sometime. I haven't since I graduated." She gave a half smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Come this way, there is one more room down here to show you before we head back up." I held out my hand for her to grasp.

We walked to the corner of the room and entered through the door. "This is my home theater." I said proudly.

She walked up the steps and sat down in one of the ten recliners that are set on two tiers.  
"Now this is the way to enjoy a movie. No people talking behind you, no whining kids, no cell phones…"

As soon as the words came out of her mouth my phone rang in my pocket. I glanced down to see that it was Rosalie. _Crap, this was going to be an unpleasant call, _I thought to myself.

"Bella, would you excuse me for one second? I need to take this call." I walked back out into the game room and out onto the balcony that surrounded it shutting the door behind me.

"Hello."

"Edward, what the hell are you doing? " She screeched at me.

"I'm at home enjoying a quiet evening Rosalie, why?" I said annoyed knowing full well why I was about to receive her wrath.

"Why in the hell did you cancel your meeting with Angela Quinn, the music columnist for the Times," she spat.

"Rose, I just rescheduled is all. We're doing lunch on Friday instead." I sighed

"That's not telling me why Edward! I set up your publicity schedule for a reason. You were supposed to be the lead story in Thursday's arts and entertainment section. God, why do I even bother!" she yelled and hung up on me.

_Well that went better than I thought it would._

I walked back inside to see Bella sitting in the black leather couch in front of my Xbox setup.

"Sorry about that. My publicist isn't very happy with me." I said running my hand anxiously though my hair.

"No problem. Anything I can do to help?" She stood up walking towards me.

"No, I did something to upset her, nothing I can't handle. Thanks." I grabbed her hand once again. I hated not having contact with her, every time we let go it was like a piece of me went missing.

"Bella, I have one last place to show you on this tour. Are you ready to go back upstairs?" I led her back towards the great room.

"Of course." she smiled and followed behind me.

We walked side by side to the very back of my house, the solarium.

"Bella, this is my music room." I quietly murmured and stepped out of the way for her to see it.

"Wow, it's amazing." She gazed around and looked at the windows that covered the room, even the ceiling. The windows reminded me of a greenhouse with the curve of the wall going up to the ceiling. I loved this room and wanted to spend lots of time here with Bella.

"Edward, will you play something for me?" She asked timidly before sitting down on the overstuffed couch facing my keyboard.

"Sure, but the next time I play it will be on my new piano. It's being delivered next week." I said sitting down and turning my keyboard on.

I started to play the intro notes to _Brown Eyes_ when I saw her eyes light up in surprise. I paused playing and asked her, "What?"

"You put this song as your ringtone on my phone," she laughed. "How did you do that, your album wasn't even released yet." she cocked her head waiting for my answer.

"I was wondering when you'd notice that." I chuckled. "Yeah, I have my ways. It's amazing the power you have when you actually own the song." I grinned and began playing again.

I played the last chord and turned to see Bella curled up with her feet tucked up under her resting her head on the arm of the sofa. She had a far off look in her eyes and they sparkled with what looked like unshed tears.

"Bella?" I asked

"Edward, that was lovely. Thank you." She gushed wiping away any trace of emotion that might have been there. She stood up and walked over to where I was sitting and leaned down to give me a soft kiss on the cheek. I looked up at her silently asking her if it would be okay to kiss her back. She paused still hovering over me. I took that as a green light and put my hand up to her cheek, rubbing my thumb lovingly over her delicate cheekbone. I curled my fingers around the base of her neck and pulled her closer. I saw her shut her eyes and I did the same leaning in slightly to brush my lips with hers. It was soft and hesitant but I still managed to feel it in every cell of my body. I used my other arm to wrap around her waist to pull her down onto my lap allowing me to deepen the kiss slightly.

She sighed and ran her hand through the hair at the nape of my neck. We broke the kiss shortly after and just sat there gazing into each other's eyes, nose to nose. Our breathing was matched breath for breath as we started to regain our composure after what was supposed to have been a simple chaste kiss.

"Wow." She sighed giving me another quick peck before standing.

I didn't say anything in return, not wanting to ruin the wonderful moment we had just shared.

We walked back towards the kitchen, hand in hand.

"It's getting late, I should get you home." I said grudgingly, not wanting her to leave.

"Yeah, I have to get up in a few hours." she groaned leaning into my side. I let go of her hand and pulled her in for a hug. Her head rested in the crook of my shoulder as I nuzzled the top of her head.

"I had a really nice time, thanks for having me over." she murmured into my shirt, not letting go of the embrace we were in.

"Me too." I replied quietly.

After standing like that for a few minutes, we finally pulled apart and I went to go and check the security cameras to see if there were any paparazzi stalking the front of my house. I finally decided that we would be okay leaving; we walked silently to the garage.

"Wow, you have a vintage Indian?" She gasped, walking straight over to my beloved motorcycle.

"Yes, this is my baby. I'll take you for a ride up PCH some time." I pulled her back into my chest while she stood still admiring my bike. "Unfortunately in that skirt you aren't really dressed for a ride tonight. _At least not that kind of ride…_ How about we take the Audi?" I opened the door and let her get in. I closed it behind her and went around to my side of the car.

The drive to her house was in comfortable silence, we held hands and that seemed to be enough for tonight.

I pulled up to her little bungalow and got out to open her door. I offered my hand to help her out, which was good since she stumbled a little on the exit of the car. She mumbled something to herself, but I was more worried about making sure she was still upright to hear.

We walked up to her door and I wrapped my hand around her waist pulling her into my chest. I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Thank you for spending the evening with me. I can't wait to see you Thursday." I pushed her hair back away from her neck and gave her a little kiss right under her earlobe. I gave her little kisses dotting all the way up her neck and across her jaw until I came to my destination. I paused briefly before molding my lips to hers. I heard her sigh slightly as she opened her lips slightly wanting to deepen the kiss. I slid my tongue slightly over her lower lip barely touching her waiting tongue. I wanted to crush her against the door and make out with her more than anything in the world, but I was a gentleman, and I knew she wanted to take things slow. I backed off from the kiss and gave her two more quick pecks before standing upright and looking down at her flushed face. I rested my forehead on hers and just held her staring deeply into her eyes. "I had a great time." I sighed finally pulling away from our embrace and letting her hand drop away from mine.

She gazed up at me and unlocked the door to her house. "Me too." She mumbled grinning before staggering into her house. "See you Thursday." she whispered as she shut the door.

_**A/N**_

_This was the longest chapter yet. Hope you enjoyed it._

_I would love to hear your thoughts on my story though – so please review if you have a couple of seconds to tell me what you think. I'm up for the good, the bad and even the indifferent!!_


	6. Beautiful Disaster

_**A/N**_

_Thanks to my amazing betas for this chapter - __**Tara**__ and __**witch isit**__ for correcting my crappy grammar and punctuation mistakes. They really deserve so much credit for all their hard work and I really do mean hard work when it comes to editing my writing._

_Huge thanks to my Twilighted beta - __**Totoro**_

_Thanks to everyone who has put this on their favorites or story alerts. I really appreciate the support of my first effort!_

_So it's time for the Laker Game and a bit of a cliffie!!_

**Beautiful Disaster**

**BPOV**

_His hands were tugging on the tendrils of my long wavy hair as his mouth roamed freely from my collarbone to my earlobes, and then across my cheeks until taking residence on my parted lips. He was murmuring my name reverently against my skin as he continued his soft kisses. My hands had found purchase at his waist, running my fingers under the bottom of his shirt, gently caressing his fit torso. Our tongues continued their tango for control as his eyes slowly opened to peer into my own. I could feel his dark jade gaze tingle in every pore of my body as I shut my eyelids with a flutter, unable to withstand the intensity of our lust for a moment longer. He pulled me closer and trailed kisses and nips from my chin down my neck, stopping only for a moment to take a long languid lick right where my pulse felt like it would burst from below my skin. I clutched him desperately, as if he was the only thing that could save me from drowning in stormy seas. His hands were roaming down the sides of my breasts and across my back. I moaned and arched in to him, molding my body into his chest trying to get even closer to his warmth. I felt his hands ghost over the hem at the back of my shirt, and my eyes suddenly flew open as I screamed _"NO!"

I sat up in bed panting heavily before flopping back down into my pillows melodramatically with my arms splayed out at my sides.

"UGH!" I groaned hitting the bed with my fists in frustration. "I'm even sexually frustrated in my freaking dreams," I huffed, as I lay waiting for my heart to return to a steady rhythm. I glanced at the clock and realized that my alarm was going to go off in a few minutes anyhow. I flipped the switch to turn it off and dragged myself out of bed.

This was the third time in two days that I had had the same dream. As soon as Edward would begin to round second base I would scream and wake up a sweaty, horny mess.

_I knew going out on a date with Edward was a bad idea. How am I going to get past my insecurity enough to even enjoy making out with the guy when there was a chance he might discover what an ugly freak I really am? _I thought glumly.

The thought darkened my mood even more because for the first time in years I actually liked someone. He was funny and easy to talk to. He had already managed to get the whole awkward 'do you like me or not' thing out of the way during our first date. I already knew where I stood with him, well at least until he knew the truth, then probably not. I just couldn't shake the sense of dread that this dream brought with it.

Edward had called me a few times since our date on Tuesday. Usually they were just little short conversations about some promotion he was agonizingly sitting through or how the paparazzi trailed him through the supermarket. We always fell into an easy rhythm of back and forth, yet I still felt anxious about seeing him again tonight. After having the dream once again, I just didn't know what I was going to do about our situation. I really liked him, but also wasn't sure if I had the courage to bare myself to him for fear of being rejected by him. After the accident, I had managed to push away every single person with whom I had been close. I wasn't sure if I was ready to knock down the wall that I had so carefully constructed over the years.

I hopped into the cool shower, trying to shake any remnants of my earlier frustrations before Alice and Jasper arrived to pick me up for the game. Of course Alice said they would be here early to 'help me' get ready. As annoyed as I was to think she thought I was too helpless to get myself ready, I had seen her handy work and knew the miracle she could create.

I had just thrown on some track pants and a t-shirt when my doorbell rang. I opened it to see my tiny friend decked out in skinny jeans and a very, very revealing and tight Lakers tank top. She wore a pair of strappy heels with a hint of purple in them to complete the look. Jasper, on the other hand had on a stylish pair of dark jeans with a white linen button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up just over his forearms looking casually chic.

"So Alice, you really like the Lakers huh?" I teased, already knowing what a huge fan she was.

"Bella, do NOT joke about my boys. We are going to kick the Magic's asses all over the court tonight," she threatened marching past me into my house.

"Jasper, lovely, as always," I said, leaning in to give him a kiss on his cheek.

"Right back 'atcha Bells," he drawled, following his wife in through the door.

"Alice, I swear to god if you think you're going to dress me like a Lakers Bratz doll, you have another thing coming!" I said to the back of her head as she marched towards my bedroom.

"Relax, of course not. You're going to be meeting some very important people tonight as Edward's guest, so we're going to go the more conservative route tonight." She grabbed a hold of my hand and walked me into my closet in search of the perfect outfit for me to wear.

Thirty minutes later Alice had once again worked her magic. Tonight I was wearing fitted black pants and a dark purple v-neck blouse with three-quarter sleeves. To complete the ensemble she picked out dark red kitten heels. It didn't scream 'GO LAKERS' in an obvious way like hers did, but I imagined the color selection was not unintentional. She managed to tame my locks into a smooth and shiny clean looking bob with a very light touch of makeup. Declaring her work complete, she bounded off into the family room to meet up with Jasper.

Standing up from his seat on the couch, Jasper turned to us and said, "Alice, you've done it again!" Giving her a peck on the cheek he continued. "Bella, you look ravishing as always," he said, holding out his hand for me to take. Once he had pulled both Alice and I into his sides, we headed for the door.  
"I've got the best looking dates in all of LA! " He smiled lovingly down at the both of us. He paused to grab his keys while Alice and I grabbed our jackets and purses before walking out to his car.

Once we were settled into the car Alice turned to face me sitting in the backseat.

"Are you nervous?" she grinned at me like a cat that just ate the canary.

"Of course I'm nervous," I huffed, rolling my eyes. "I hate crowds, especially when I don't know anyone. You already know that." I was fidgeting with the zipper on my jacket pulling it up and down on the track. I knew it was annoying and yet I couldn't stop.

"But you know us," she said gesturing to herself and Jasper.

"Yes, but it's not like you'll be at my side all night. I suck at making small talk. Remind me again why I agreed to come to this again?" I asked, gnawing on my nonexistent nails.

"Bella, relax, we'll be there and then Edward will come up and I'm sure he'll barely leave your side," Jasper stated calmly.

"Easy coming from the guy with enough southern charm to change the outcome of the Civil War," I huffed and continued fidgeting my zipper.

"Bella, easy on the zipper!" Alice finally said, annoyed with the zipping noise.

My hands fell to my lap and I threw her an apologetic look.

"Okay, how about a quick rundown on who will be there? A little prep work if you will." Alice smiled and started her commentary on the who's who of the impending crowd.

"First and foremost, you need to stay away from James Harrington. He is sleazy with a capital S," she stated firmly. "He's the music industry's answer to the casting couch. There isn't a poor pretty hopeful off the bus from po-dunk Kansas that he didn't like. Trust me when I say to just stay away from him. Once he gets going, you can't wipe the slime off you easily." She frowned in distaste. "We'll do our best to avoid even introducing you. The only reason he'll be here is because he's ironically in charge of new talent for Eclipse Records." She rolled her eyes and turned to see if Jasper had anything to add.

"I concur with everything she said. I'm surprised that guy doesn't have a hundred harassment suits against him already."

"Okay, who else?" Alice sat thinking quietly.

"Well, Edward mentioned that his brother Emmett was flying in for the game," Jasper said not taking his eyes of the scourge of rush hour traffic that we were stuck in. "I've met him a couple times and he's a really good guy. HUGE, and a bit intimidating when you first meet him, but he's a great guy. He's one of Edward's biggest supporters. They're really tight."

"Right, Edward mentioned that yesterday. I sort of remember him from high school. He was the captain of the football team. I didn't really know him though," I said wistfully, thinking about my life before the accident.

"Is he the EMT?" Alice chimed in.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's an EMT in New York. At least that's the last I heard."

"Okay, so stay away from James and Emmett is a nice but possibly intimidating guy. What else?" I asked, honestly curious to know more about the people who I would have to be conversationally polite to this evening.

"Oh, I forgot, you'll get to meet Edward's publicist and manager, Rosalie; she's quite a handful. Great at her job, but a major bitch most of the time," Jasper added.

"Oooh right, I remember you telling me about her, Jazz. I heard that with one look she can make a man's balls shrivel up and head for higher ground." She giggled.

"Great, so stay away from James, Emmett might be nice and keep my balls away from Rosalie, gotcha!" I smirked. "Anything else?"

"Hmm… let's see. There is Aro Monetti, the CEO of Eclipse Records. He's a good guy. Also, Felix Stephenson who's Edward's Agent. He's a bit over the top, but he's an agent, so what do you expect? Let's see. There's also Jane Parson who's the EVP of marketing for Moonlight Communications. She's the one that actually discovered Edward. They're really close. She's got a lot of pull for not only Eclipse records but the rest of their empire including their TV stations. Who else?" Jasper continued strumming his fingers on the steering wheel trying to think of others to include in the list.

"I'm sure there are more, but let's get to your big night," Alice interrupted his musings and smiled slyly at me. "Are you excited for Saturday?"

"Excited would not be the adjective I would use. Anxious, ill, nauseated, nervous, I think those about cover how I feel about Saturday," I mumbled, wringing my hands together with the thought.

"Come on Bella, this is a real honor. You've worked really hard there for the last year."

"I know. It's not even the acceptance speech in front of all those people that has me worried, It's more about the fact that I haven't mentioned it to Edward and he's playing the benefit," I sighed, wondering if he was going to be upset with me for not telling him.

"Why haven't you told him?" She asked. "He's going to be just as proud as the rest of us," she smiled knowingly at me, but I just couldn't shake the worry from my mind.

"The right moment just hasn't really come up. I suppose maybe I'll tell him tonight?" I shrugged noncommittally.

"The sooner the better seeing as the benefit is on Saturday," she reminded me, as if I forgot it was only two days away. "I can't believe you didn't tell me early enough to get tickets to go, you sneaky girl," she chided, but something in her eyes said differently.

"I'm sorry Alice. I really didn't think it was going to be a big deal. Of course that was before I knew who Edward Masen was," I groaned and looked back out at the cars crawling past in the opposite lane.

"Bella, you'll be great, I'm sure," Jasper commented and smiled into the rearview mirror at me.

"Thanks guys, but can we just not talk about it, please?" I pleaded, exhaling loudly willing myself to calm down.

Twenty minutes later we were pulling into the underground garage of Staples Center.

_Showtime, _I thought to myself.

I had never been to a Lakers game before and had only been to the Staples Center a few times for concerts. The crowd was immense and the tension of the evening could be felt in the air. It was a big night for the team and would mean a game seven if they lost tonight.

We walked in through security and up the escalators before finding the box that we were sitting in. Jasper pulled open the door and held it for Alice and I to walk through. There were already a few people here and thankfully Jasper began the round of introductions. I watched Alice head for the seats avoiding just about everyone while Jasper grabbed my hand and walked over to a frail looking older man with long dark hair.

"Bella, this is Aro Monetti, the CEO of Eclipse Records," Jasper introduced us, shaking Aro's hand first.

"Jasper, great to see you again. Bella, lovely to meet you," he said, grasping my hand and shaking it lightly.

"Bella is the morning DJ at KDLE and an old friend of Edward's," Jasper continued.

"I've heard you, you're B-Girl? " Aro inquired.

"That I am," I smiled shyly waiting for one of them to continue speaking.

"You're very funny. I like your show. You're relatively new though, yes?" He asked.

"Yes, a little over a year now, it's been quite a ride," I replied.

"I'm glad things have been going well," he said before turning to Jasper. "Jasper, where is that lovely wife of yours?"

"She's a bit of a Lakers enthusiast, so I'll be lucky to tear her away from the game at all tonight," he said, nodding towards Alice, who was sitting in the front row.

"I completely understand. Any interesting projects you're working on?" Jasper leaned in to speak to him while I edged my way out of the conversation to go sit with Alice.

"Alice, whatcha doing?" I asked, sitting down beside her.

"Waiting for the game to start and getting some new moves," she replied, not taking her eyes off the court.

"New moves?" I asked, curious as to what she was talking about.

"The Lakers Girls," she gestured towards the court. "I like to watch them and get new moves. You know, dance and otherwise…" she elbowed me, slyly grinning before turning her attention back to the floor.

"Ah… too much info there Alice, but good luck with that," I turned my attention to the court as well, curious to see Edward's grand entrance. I was nervous for him, just thinking about not only the crowd here, but also the millions watching at home. The National Anthem was not an easy song to sing and I knew it could go south quickly. I didn't really worry about Edward messing up, but still felt apprehensive for him. I saw the floor start to clear and the large replicas of the NBA championship trophy being rolled out on either end of the court. I knew the introductions were about to be made, so I made myself comfortable waiting for the imminent dimming of the lights.

A minute later the lights dropped and spotlights began swirling around the arena. Things quieted down and the announcer started calling off the starting lineup for the Magic. Once they were booed by the crowd the spotlights started spinning around again and their opening rally song came on while quick images of the team flashed up on the jumbo-tron. Suddenly, fireworks started shooting off from near the replica trophy and they started calling off the Lakers' starting roster.

Alice was bouncing in the seat next to me as I noticed most of the other people in the box had come down to take seats or stand around watching the spectacle below. Once the lineups were complete I knew what was coming next. I saw the spotlight shine on the sideline as Edward started walking out onto the court. He was dressed in black dress pants and a dark blue button-down shirt with the top few buttons undone. I saw his face come up onto the jumbo-tron and couldn't believe how stunning he looked in such a grand scale. His green eyes sparkled with a childlike grin plastered to his face making him even more endearing.

I exhaled, not realizing that I had been holding my breath since I saw him. He held the microphone up to his mouth and began singing. He was panty-dropping amazing. He hit even the highest notes with grace and ease and I couldn't help imaging all the women, and probably some of the men in the arena, wanting to throw their undergarments in his direction. _So this must have been what it felt like to be a fan of the Beatles back in the day, _I thought, smiling to myself. When he finished, he smiled at the crowd and gave a simple wave before heading back off the court the same way he came.

The box was all abuzz with the amazing performance that we had all just witnessed. I heard tidbits of conversations about his sales soaring even higher and asking Rosalie to get him booked on more nationally televised events and mumblings about his upcoming tour.

My stomach tightened at the thought of Edward's upcoming departure from LA for his tour. It's not like we were exclusive or anything…we had only had one date, so why was my brain suddenly going into major possessive overdrive? I knew that I didn't really want to know the answer as it would only end in heartbreak, so I turned those thoughts off and pretended to watch the game until Edward arrived.

I heard Edward arrive by the congratulatory whoops and hollers that went around the box when he walked in. I turned in my seat and watched as he strode around everyone, giving them a quick cursory nod before heading straight for me. Giving me a crooked smile, he bent down and kissed me softly. A blush rose to my cheeks knowing that there were around twenty pairs of eyes all resting on the two of us at this very moment. He stood back up and reached for my hand to pull me out of the chair. I grasped it and followed as we walked back up to the reception area of the box.

"Edward, you sounded phenomenal!"

"Great Job!"

"Edward, who's the lovely lady?"

"You were amazing!" Comments were being thrown around as he grabbed a beer from the bar and turned to ask me what I wanted.

"Beer is fine, thanks," I said smiling back at him. He had this look of glee and immense pride on his face and I couldn't help but bask in his glow.

He handed me an Amstel Light and bent down to whisper in my ear, "Bella, you look breathtaking tonight. Thank you so much for coming." He kissed my neck below my ear and stood back upright.

"Edward, you really sounded incredible tonight. I was so nervous for you," I admitted reluctantly, feeling like a blushing teenager at my confession.

"Really? Why?" He asked cocking his head to the side and grinning at me.

"I don't know… Don't you get nervous when you're watching a game that's really close and you're nervous for your team to just win it already?" I asked, thinking about when the Seahawks were tied near the end of a game my heart rate always skyrocketed and I almost had to leave the room because the tension would be so high, I couldn't stand it.

Edward looked down at me and smiled broadly before answering. "Yes, I know exactly what that feels like. Is that how you felt about me singing tonight?" He teased, squeezing my hand.

"Um… kind of," I admitted before we were interrupted.

"Edward, great job out there tonight. And who might this be?" A tall blond smoothly asked him.

"James," he curtly nodded, not replying further as he grabbed my hand and walked us over towards a very large man standing on the edge of the seating area watching the game.

"Emmett!!" He patted the man's back waiting for him to turn his head.

"Hey bro, nice job out there tonight," he stated before noticing me standing next to Edward.

"You remember Bella from high school?" Edward asked, moving his hand to the small of my back and nudging me forward slightly.

"Bella, right. You're Chief Swan's daughter. Popular little thing, if I remember correctly- even in the tenth grade," he grinned, winking at me.

I winced when he said my father's name, but tried to cover it up through a weak smile.

"Emmett, good to see you again," I replied just as someone came over and grabbed Edward to pull him off to meet someone.

"I'll be right back," he mumbled as he was dragged off leaving me to converse with his brother.

"So how did you end up in the city of angels?" He asked, leaning against the tall divider and waiting for my response.

"I came here by way of Denver actually. I'm a morning DJ here and was transferred in from Denver when an opening came up." It was my stock answer that I was well versed at repeating. "I think someone mentioned that you are in New York? An EMT?" I asked trying to keep up a semblance of small talk.

"Yep, I love the city, but am thinking about moving out here. I miss E and my parents. The beauty of being an EMT is that they are usually in demand anywhere you go," he smiled. "I just need to convince Edward into letting me stay at his place for a while until I get a job and a place to live."

"Have you told him yet? I can't imagine him saying no to you," I said.

"No, I'm going to ask sometime this weekend. I already put my notice in on my apartment, so it's too late to back out now." He lifted his beer and took a gulp before turning his attention back to the game.

"Do you like basketball?" he asked, still focused on the game.

"I like watching the playoffs, but the season is a bit too long for me to really follow. My best friend over there," I nodded towards Alice who was jumping up and down from the front row of seats yelling at the players, "is a huge fan, so I've sort of became a Lakers fan by way of her. I never watched the Sonics growing up, so I guess that makes me a bit fair-weather," I shrugged. "What about you? Knicks fan?"

"Nope, I was a Trailblazer fan for a long time, but now I have favorite players that I follow rather than teams. I guess playing fantasy basketball will do that to you."

I nodded, not having any real idea what fantasy basketball was.

We stood there quietly for a while just watching the game progress into half time. Emmett looked over at me, holding up his beer, "I need another one, are you good?" He asked.

"I'm good, thanks," I said, directing my attention back to the start of the half time entertainment.

A moment later I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see James ogling me from the few inches he stood above me. I felt panic begin to well up in me when I remembered what Alice told me in the car and the way Edward treated him earlier.

"Edward was a bit rude earlier. My name is James, and you are?" he sneered, leaning into my ear.

I backed away reflexively and mumbled "Isabella" while searching the room for someone to save me.

"Isabella, what a lovely name," he murmured edging closer to me. "And how are you acquainted with Eddie boy?" he asked leaning down close to my face.

"We're old friends, if you'll excuse me…" I tried turning away to find Alice but he grabbed my wrist causing me to spin around right into his arms.

"Mmm… glad you changed your mind. Edward isn't man enough for you. Why don't you spend a little time with me?" He pulled me tighter into his grasp.

I flinched and struggled to make my exit once again. "Thanks, but no," I said through gritted teeth. Just as I tried to pull away, he let go and I went flying onto the floor. He stood over me offering his hand with a sinister smirk on his face.

I huffed and picked myself up without accepting his hand and stood just as Edward walked by to see me struggling to my feet. He rushed to my side and pulled me close and growled at James, "Leave her alone," before turning to find out if I was alright. I caught sight of James rolling his eyes and shrugging while walking off towards the bar.

"Hey, you okay?" He lifted my chin to look into my eyes.

"Yeah, he's just creepy. Thanks for the rescue." My body was still shaking from the experience as Edward led me down to the rows of seats in the front of the box.

"Here, sit down for a minute and I'll get you something to drink," he said before walking off towards the bar.

Edward returned only seconds later with a bottle of water and another beer, offering me both.

I grabbed the water first taking a big swallow before accepting the beer.  
"So what's up with that guy anyway?" I asked.

"He's a complete sleezeball. I'm sorry you had to deal with that alone," he replied picking up my hand and kissing the back of it softly.

"I'm a big girl Edward, I was just curious is all," I said firmly before taking another swallow from my beer.

"Are you having any fun?" he asked, looking a little sheepish. "I know I haven't exactly been the best host tonight as I keep getting dragged in different directions..."

"Edward, I'm having a fine time," I interrupted. "I'm just not great at small talk." I shrugged and sipped a little more from my beer. "How's your night been?" I smiled, trying to ease some of the guilt that was splashed all over his face.

"Better now that I'm sitting talking with you," he nudged my knee and was smiling down on me.

A few minutes later a slight looking woman took a seat next to Edward and held out her hand to me.

"I'm Jane Parson. I believe Aro told me that you are Bella Swan of B-girl in the AM?" She asked as I took her hand.

"Yes, I'm Bella," I stated wearily, not knowing why Aro would have even brought me up with her.

"Sorry to go all fangirl on you, but I'm a huge fan of your morning show. Aro knew that so when he met you earlier he had to tell me that you were here. It's a pleasure to meet you." She smiled, shaking my hand before releasing it.

"Nice to meet you too, Jane," I smiled back at her, not really knowing what to make of this introduction.

"Jane is the EVP of Marketing for Moonlight Communications, the parent company of Eclipse Records," Edward added, giving Jane a small squeeze to her shoulder. "She's a genius at what she does," he gushed.

"Ah Edward, you are being too kind." She smiled warmly back at him. "Bella, I've been listening to your show since you started. Thank God you took over for that other guy. He was just crap."

"That seems to be the general consensus. I'm glad you like it. It's a lot of fun to do, aside from the early mornings," I shrugged, remembering that it was a Thursday and that I still had to be up early tomorrow.

"Well if you ever consider getting out of radio, here's my card, you are entirely too pretty to be behind the mike. I can think of a few interesting projects I'd love to have you on board for," she said, handing me the card that she had pulled out of her tiny purse.

"Wow, um…thanks Jane, that's really nice of you," I gaped, shocked that someone with so much pull would be this nice to me.

"Edward, Bella, it was good to see you. I'll leave you two alone," she winked as she stood and left us to watch the remainder of the game.

"Edward, what just happened there?" I whispered still completely stunned with my last encounter.

"Jane is one of a kind. She has a great eye for talent and business, of course I'm a bit biased since she's the one who discovered me." He chuckled a little but continued. "She also doesn't say anything she doesn't mean, so think about what she said, you never know." He nudged me and kissed the top of my head.

"Huh…" I muttered before turning to look out at the court to see what was going on. I could see Alice still jumping around in the front row of the box waving her arms around when someone made a basket. She looked ridiculous and cute all at the same time. If I was the one standing there doing that someone would put me in a straightjacket and take me right off to the loony bin.

"Bella," Edward whispered in my ear. I turned my head to see his eyes hooded with desire just gazing at me intently.

"Yes?" I murmured back.

"I'm so happy to have found you again. This week has honestly been one of the happiest I've had in a very long time. I just wanted you to know," he whispered, speaking so close to my ear that I could feel his breath waft across it into my hair before giving me a soft gentle kiss on my temple. It was stirring up feelings in my body that I hadn't felt in a very long time.

"Me too," was all I could reply through the thundering noise my heart was now making. I could feel my cheeks start to warm as my tell tale blush began to ascend to my face. He was suddenly staring at me so intently it was as if someone had turned the light out on my brain. It was silent and all I could do was gape at Edward. "Um… Edward…can you stop with the dazzling?" I mumbled

"Dazzling?" He asked, not letting up on his intense gaze.

"Yes, dazzling. You need to stop looking at me like that; you're rendering me incapable of speech right now."

"Aren't you speaking right now?" He asked, flashing me a small crooked grin.

"Am I making any sense?" I murmured.

"No, not really," he chuckled.

"Okay then, cut it out." I squeezed his hand a little and leaned into him as his arm wrapped me close into his side. We sat nuzzled close together for a while watching as the third quarter started to wind down. I decided I better run out to the ladies room before the end of the quarter, otherwise I'd probably be waiting in line until the game was actually over. "Edward, I'll be right back," I said squeezing his hand and standing. He stood and followed behind me until I reached the door. He dropped my hand and I walked off into the crowd.

**EPOV**

It had been a long day. After my breakfast meeting with Rosalie I went to pick up Emmett at the airport. We spent the afternoon catching up at my house and I got the sense that he wanted to talk to me about something but he was holding back. It didn't help that I was a bit distracted about seeing Bella tonight. I had been looking forward to seeing her since I left her doorstep on Tuesday night. She kept running through my mind all day long almost to the point of distraction. My nights were spent dreaming of her creamy skin and silken hair. It was all I could do from jumping her when I finally saw her after my performance. I was so pumped up on adrenaline after singing that I just wanted to go caveman on her and claim her as mine. She looked exquisite in the violet blouse she was wearing, her cleavage just barely showing through the v-neck and giving me a beautiful view of the swell of her pert breasts.

Instead, I decided I'd let everyone know that she was mine for the evening by kissing her as soon as I walked in to the room. The kiss was warm and inviting and all that I had remembered from a few nights ago and I couldn't wait until later when I could repeat it over and over with more passion. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett approaching me and steered my thoughts to a more PG rating.

"Dude, Bella Fucking Swan…" he said clapping me on the back. "It's about freaking time. She's still smoking hot. How did you manage to snag that?" He asked as eloquently as ever.

"I ran into her when I went to an interview for her radio show." I sighed leaning against the wall near the bar.

"Well nice job. I know you've been pining over that girl since forever… Why didn't you tell me earlier?" he asked.

"What was I supposed to say? I'm not even sure what we are at the moment. We've been on two dates if you count this as one of them," I stated.

"Well, you could have told me bro, you know that. Whoa… who is that?" He exclaimed looking over my shoulder.

I turned to look and see who he was talking about when I saw Rosalie walking towards us.

"Edward, well done," she said, coming up and giving me a hug and two air kisses on my cheeks.

"Thanks Rosalie. I'd like to introduce you to my brother Emmett. He's an EMT in New York," I answered, leaning back and letting them shake hands.

"Emmett, it's a pleasure to meet you. Edward has told me a lot about you. Glad you could make it out for this," she said, waving her perfectly manicured hand around in a circle.

"The pleasure is all mine, Rosalie," he crooned, grasping her hand and kissing the back of it.

"Your mother must be very proud to have raised such chivalrous men," she smirked at the two of us.

"That she is," he replied.

"So how long are you going to be out here, Emmett?"

"For the weekend. Our parents are flying in late tomorrow for Edward's benefit on Saturday. Are you going to be there?" He leaned in, basically closing me off from their little exchange.

_Oh, boy. Emmett is in full flirt mode_, I thought to myself_. _I could tell by the way he's leaning in to the conversation and the mischievous look in his eye. I'd seen Emmett pick up more women that I could count and I knew THAT look.

"Emmett, how's Jasmine?" I coyly asked interrupting the conversation they were having without me, knowing full well that he wasn't dating her any more.

"What?" He said, not really sure if he heard me or not. I normally wasn't a cock blocker, but I didn't need him and my publicist in a bad breakup.

"Jasmine, how is Jasmine?" I repeated.

"We haven't been together for two months, you know that," he growled, turning his attention back to Rose.

"So where were we, before my brother so rudely interrupted?" he inquired.

"Actually, I do need to talk to you brother about something. Do you mind excusing us for just a few minutes?" She said, throwing him her award-winning fake smile that I had seen her use against countless clients.

"Sure, if you promise to come talk to me later?" He said smoothly before retreating back over to watch the game.

"Edward, I see you brought a lady friend with you this evening," she fumed, the tension oozing off of her words.

"Oh, yeah, that extra ticket was for Bella. Thanks again," I replied nonchalantly, hoping that would be the end of the conversation.

"Yes, well, what is she to you?" She asked tersely.

"What do you mean?" I answered dumbly.

"Don't be dense Edward. What. Is. She. To. You?" Her nails were clacking impatiently on the glass of wine that she was carrying.

"Rose, I'm not really sure why this is any concern to you," I said, running my hands through my hair and rolling my head around cracking my neck. I hadn't ever had a girlfriend and never really dated the entire time Rose had known me, so I couldn't understand her interest now.

"It's my job Edward, that's why," she snapped, poking a long fingernail into my chest.

"Ow!" I yelped, pushing her finger off of me and rubbing the sore spot in my chest. "Rose, please, why is this so important?" I huffed looking around the box to see if Bella had returned yet.

"First, you're my client and it's my job to know everything about you. How can I defend you to the press if I don't know what's going on in your social life? Secondly, you're a hot up and coming star. It's bad for business to have a girlfriend. Not only that, but you are about to embark on a month long tour, which will likely be the shortest tour you'll ever be on." I rolled my eyes but she caught me and continued, "Yes, Edward, no matter what you want, your next tour will be months long. It is not easy to get musicians and vocalists to just commit to month long job," she ranted. "Whatever 'this' is with this girl, you are going to be gone for long periods of time. You are going to have women knocking down men three times their size just to have you sign their left tit and you think a brand new relationship will really last?" She was pacing in front of me still continuing with her hushed tirade. "So I will ask you again Edward, ..YOU?" Her voice rose slightly above the din and I couldn't help but reply out of anxiety.

"God Rose, it's nothing! She's just some girl from high school, let it go," I said before hearing an audible gasp behind me. I spun around to see the back of Bella's head as she ran out the door of the box.

**A/N**

Okay - so what do you think? Please let me know - I love hearing everyone's thoughts & theories - so leave me a review and let me know.

Have you ever heard only half of a conversation & had a big misunderstanding because of it? I know I have...

Thanks again for reading!


	7. Be Gentle To Me

**A/N – **

_First let me apologize for this taking so freaking long. I have excuses, but I won't bore you with those…_

_A huge thanks to my new betas – __**Blackjacklily and Emmett_lover**__- they turned this puppy around in 24 hours… they rock!! My story would suck without their help correcting my sucky ass grammar & punctuation. _

_Thanks to my Twilighted Beta – __**Totoro **__(especially for pointing me in the right direction towards finding a new beta)_

_Thanks to everyone who has put this on their alerts & favorites. It makes my day to see those & I would love if a few more of you would review as well… but I'll take what I can get._

_DISCLAIMER - I don't own anything... Stephanie Meyer does... no infringement intended._

_

* * *

**Be Gentle to Me**_

**BPOV**

'_Good grief, I swear, there has to be some kind of universal law that states that there can only be half as many stalls in the women's bathroom as would actually be needed.'_ I thought as I maneuvered around the crowds waiting at the concession stands to get back to the box. I must have waited almost 20 minutes, and now the line was twice as long thanks to the break between the third and fourth quarter. I started to hurry a little, hoping to catch as much of the last quarter as possible. The game wasn't a blow out, for once, which would mean that this quarter should be a good one.

Pulling open the door to the box, I glanced around looking to see where Edward was. I could see Alice and Jasper out of the corner of my eye watching the game, or rather, Jasper was sitting watching the game and Alice was jumping up and down like a maniac yelling at the team. The corners of my mouth turned up as I smiled at my friend's passion for the game. I finally found Edward with his back to me talking to a very pretty blonde woman, who I could only imagine was Rosalie; there wasn't a lot of women here tonight and she was one of the few that I had yet to meet. Judging from the scowl on her face, I could tell the conversation wasn't a pleasant one. Walking slowly towards them, I hoped that by the time I got closer perhaps they would have finished talking shop and I could monopolize Edward for the remainder of our time here. I stopped a few feet away, trying not to eavesdrop and just waited patiently for a pause in the conversation for me to interrupt.

I didn't have to wait long when I heard Rosalie screech, "WHAT IS SHE TO YOU?" a bit louder than the rest of their conversation. I could only assume she meant me, so I leaned in a little closer to hear Edward's response.

Seconds passed like hours before I heard the words come out of Edward's mouth.

"She's nothing Rosalie; just some girl from high school!"

I let out a loud gasp but it sounded more like a whimper. _How could he think so little of me after all he had told me this week? _Wincing at the thought, I turned and ran out the door. Dodging through the thinning crowd was easier. Most of the people had made their way back to their seats to watch the remainder of the game.

I flew down the escalator, managing to trip only once as I got close to the bottom. My hand flew out in front of me and caught the brunt of the fall. The heel of my right palm was now bleeding thanks to the sharp edge of the escalator stair, but I ignored it and kept moving towards the exit as fast as I could. I needed to get as far away from _him_ as possible.

A small part of my subconscious was hoping that by now a strong pair of hands would have stopped my escape, but nothing ever came. I pushed my way though the exit and began running out towards Figueroa. After getting about 200 yards away from the arena, I realized what a dumb mistake I was making. This was not a good neighborhood to be alone in at night, and I fully expected that if the Lakers won, the same street I was now standing on would be a mess with rioters and flaming trashcans. _Gotta love the winning team's fans_, I thought sarcastically, spinning myself back towards the way I came.

I walked back towards the arena and was about to hail a cab when I remembered that my purse and jacket were upstairs on the seat next to Alice.

"Shit, Shit, SHIT!" I exclaimed, pounding my fist into my thigh. I marched over to the door I had just exited, hoping that the security guard would take pity on me and let me back in.

"Um… excuse me sir?" I meekly asked, looking up at the burly man before me. "Do you think it would be possible for me to reenter? I accidentally left my purse on my seat," I said smiling weakly up at him.

He looked down at me with a frown. "Sorry Miss, no re-admittance."

"I know... Is there any way you can make one little exception?" I batted my eyelashes hoping to appeal to his softer side.

"Sorry, I could lose my job, and in this economy, I just can't risk it. Sorry," he apologized once again before shutting the door back in my face.

"FUCK!!!!" I shouted at no one. Spinning around, I saw a retaining wall holding back tropical plants and flowers in the front of the building and thought it was my best shot at catching someone from the box when they exited. I hoped I was able to spot someone I knew. If anyone came out, I could always ask to use their phone. Except with the convenience of cell phones, I never actually bothered learning anyone's number anymore. Just programmed it in and never thought of it again. I was so screwed!

I rested my head in my hands and allowed the tears to fall once again. How did I always manage to get myself into these kinds of situations? First I fall for the universes' most eligible bachelor, who then decides that after he admits he's had a crush on me for nine years, now thinks I'm just some chick from high school. Then I manage to flee without my purse, leaving me stranded here without a ride and no way to connect with the people who would take care of me. God I was pathetic. I guess that black cloud decided to attach itself to me once more. I let out a frustrated sigh when I noticed a pair of shiny black shoes standing in front of me. I pulled my hands from in front of my face to see Edward looking down on me with wet worried eyes.

**EPOV**

All I saw was a blur of chestnut before the door shut behind her. I started to chase after her when my arm was grabbed by Rosalie's firm grip. "Rose, let me go! I need to fix this," I growled, trying to shake off her talons.

"Edward, let me give you a piece of advice. Do not chase after this girl. If you do, your pathetic little spectacle will be on the front page of every gossip rag and site in the morning. The bad thing about cell phones these days is that they are all equipped with cameras and video," she said, pulling me back towards her.

"Rose, I can't just let her go off like that." I pulled my arm back once again.

"Listen, I'll call down and have Garrett bring the limo around and have him call us another one. I can't have some cabbie dishing all the dirt I'm sure he'll be hearing from you two. Take it and go make up with your little… whatever she is," She scoffed, picking up her cell phone. She started speaking, effectively leaving me no choice but to go along with her plan.

I stood there until she hung up because I had to ask her one more favor that I was begrudged to do.

"Um, Rose?" I said, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. "Can you make sure Emmett get's back to my house, please?"

"Sure, sure Edward, no problem, now go. Be a knight in shining armor or some other shit. I'll talk to you tomorrow," she grumbled, turning her back to me and walking back to the bar.

I took a deep breath and walked quickly over to Emmett. "Em, I need to go, but Rose is going to make sure you get back to my place. Are you cool with that?" I asked hurriedly.

"No prob. Why the rush?" he asked patting me on the back with more force than was necessary.

"Girl problems," I muttered. "The code to the gate is mom & dad's anniversary, zero six, one, two. The code to my alarm is zero, nine, one, three. Got it?" I whispered to him. He didn't need to know the story behind those numbers as it would only give him fuel to mock me with and he already had enough ammunition.

"Sure, I'll call you if I forget. Good luck. I'll see you at home." He turned his attention back to watching the remaining minutes of the game.

I strode purposefully out of the box and turned my head, searching to see if Bella was sitting somewhere around as I made my way towards the escalators. On my way down, I could see out of the glass wall at the front of the building to where Bella sat with her head in her hands on a flowerbox. The guilt started to wash over me as I remembered why I was searching for her in the first place. I had screwed up big time. In my effort to downplay our relationship to Rosalie, I may have just lost any chance of a relationship period.

I nodded as I passed the security guard perched at the door and walked over in front of Bella. Her head was buried in her hands and I could hear her sniffing and see the stains of her tears on the pavement below where she sat. My heart dropped in my chest knowing that I was the one to have caused her to cry. My mother didn't raise me to make women cry. It was the most humbling and horrible sight when she raised her head to look at me with puffy bloodshot eyes and a look of defeat. I exhaled deeply., "Bella, I'm so sorry." My voice cracking as I knelt down before her so that I could look at her eye to eye. She didn't speak, but just kept looking at me with sorrow filled eyes.

"Bella, please honey, can I take you home? I need to explain, but would rather do that in the car then out here, please?" I pleaded, holding out my hand hoping that she would take it.

"I…I… don't have my purse, do…do… you have your phone?" she whimpered, trying to control her tears.

"Yes, here," I said handing her my phone. "Do you need Jasper's number? It's in my contacts." I assumed that her purse was up with Alice and she would want her to bring it down to her.

"Thanks," she mumbled, hitting the button on the phone and bringing it up to her ear.

"Jazz, hey it's Bella…Yeah, I kind of left in a hurry and left my purse and jacket up there. Can you put Alice on?" she asked, playing with her hair nervously, her tears slowly diminishing.

"Alice, hey, can you do me a favor? Can you drop my purse and jacket off at my house either tonight or if you want to carpool tomorrow morning? Great, I'll see you at four forty five. Yes, I'll tell you then, thanks. Bye."

She hung up the phone, handed it back to me and took the hand that I was still holding out for her.

"Edward, you have a lot to explain," she sighed as we walked towards the line of limos that were queued up in the drive.

Garrett must have seen us coming as he got out of the car and opened up the door for us to enter. Tonight he was driving a normal stretch limo instead of the town car that he had been driving me around all week in.

"Thanks Garrett." I gave him a slight smile as I stepped in after Bella.

Bella was sitting towards the back of the car as if trying to sit as far away from me as possible. I crawled back to where she was sitting and sat across from her. I heard her sigh as she looked up to my seated form.

"Edward, the only reason I'm here right now is because I needed a ride. Otherwise I would not be giving you the time of day to explain what the hell just happened in there," she spoke curtly, looking back down at her hands.

"Bella, I'm really sorry. I honestly don't know what possessed me to say what I did other than Rosalie pushing me to figure out what we are." I exhaled loudly and ran my hand through my unkempt hair. "I know I can't make it right by just saying I'm sorry, but I honestly and truly am. When Rose started asking me questions about our relationship I panicked. I tried to stall as much as possible to avoid talking about it at all, but she seems to think that my social life is her business since she's the one that has to defend me to the press. " I looked up to see Bella now looking at me instead of her hands. Her eyes were still questioning, but I could tell that she was at least listening to my explanation.

"I know I should have just told her the truth, but since we haven't really talked about it, I didn't want to assume and so I kind of just said the first thing that popped into my head." I knew I was rambling, but I needed to get her to want me back in her life. I had waited nine long years and I wasn't going to screw up my one chance now. "I… I've never had a girlfriend before Bella, so I… I don't really know what I'm doing here. I fucked up, and I really am sorry." I took a moment to contemplate what I should say next.

"Edward… do you think of me as your girlfriend?" she asked with a small smirk on her lips.

"Um… well, I guess… I… I don't know, I would like to, but we haven't really discussed it, but I really only want to date you… not that I was dating anyone else anyhow, but I just don't really…" I stammered until Bella thankfully cut off my rambling.

"Edward, it's okay. I'd like to date only you too." She smiled warmly and held out her hand for me to take.

I took a deep sigh of relief as my eyes met hers and smiled back, placing my hand in hers.

"Thank you. You mean more to me than I could ever say. Will you please forgive my slip up tonight? I really was just trying to protect whatever it is that we have together for a little while. I'm not ready for the onslaught of press once they find out I'm dating." I leaned back, closed my eyes and rested my head against the back of the seat wondering how long it would take for the paparazzi to swarm into Bella's life.

"Of course I forgive you," she sighed shaking her head. "Just don't shut me out. I'm a strong woman, but my ego is fragile. I'm sorry I overacted and ran out, that wasn't the most mature thing for me to do, but it's been a long time for me as well. I guess we'll have to learn how to do this together." She got up and moved to sit next to me. I put my arm around her and pulled her close to my side giving her a gentle kiss to her temple.

"Together," I repeated. We sat in comfortable silence for a while watching the lights of the city blur past. I knew we were getting close as we exited the freeway in Santa Monica.

"Bella, I was wondering…" I started

"Hmm?" she murmured into my side.

"I actually have a pretty busy weekend coming up and I leave for New York on Sunday, but I get back in the early afternoon on Friday… I was wondering if you might like to go on a date next Friday. Maybe take a ride up the coast?" I asked, pulling away from her slightly so that I could look at her face.

"Um… sure that sounds nice, I'm free around four thirty on Friday." She smiled and tucked her head back to my side. "What are you doing in New York?" she asked.

"More promotions," I sighed. "I'm doing Letterman, Jimmy Fallon, The View, Regis & Kelly and on Friday morning I'm doing the concert in the park for Good Morning America," I said rattling off my schedule. "I have some interviews on a couple of radio shows, in store promos, not to mention a meeting with some Broadway producer about a show he's developing. All in all a pretty average week for a rock star." I elbowed her in the side to let her know I was kidding.

"Sounds like a fun filled week, glad it's you and not me," she said yawning into my chest.

"Not sure if it will be fun, but it's part of the job, right?" I smirked down at her, rubbing my thumb down her smooth forearm. "Oh, I almost forgot, my parents are throwing me a small birthday party next Saturday at my house too if you're free. It will only be my family, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and a couple of buddies from college. No pressure, you don't have to come if you don't want to or have other plans, but I'd of course love to have you there…"

"Edward, you're rambling. Take a breath." She chuckled, nudging my side before continuing. "I'd love to come and celebrate your birthday. Just let me know what time and I'll be there." she smiled, leaning back into my side.

"Really? That's great! I think it's at six. Can I come pick you up?" I suddenly felt shy and nervous as if I had been waiting for a rejection.

"Yes Edward, you can pick me up," She said in a mocking tone, giggling at my nervousness. She suddenly pulled away from me and looked over at me with wide eyes. "Crap, I almost forgot, I wanted to tell you something…"

"Sure, what is it?"

"I…"

"Mr. Masen, do you want me to circle around the block? I can't hold up traffic for too long sir," Garrett interrupted.

"No, no, it's fine. Just let me walk her to her door," I said, opening the door of the limo not waiting for Garrett to walk around.

"Bella, you need your sleep. You have to get up in a few hours and I have an early meeting. I'll call you tomorrow?" I said, walking her up to her door.

"Um… yes, that's fine. I'll talk to you later." She looked dazed as she started to unlock her door with the hidden key she pulled from under the eve of her roof.

"Sorry about the fucked up night. I will make it up to you next week, I promise." I leaned down and gave her a soft gentle kiss.

"Good night Bella."

"Night," she said as she walked in to her house, locking the door behind her.

~~~***~~~

**BPOV**

"Stop looking at me like that," I huffed while taking another sip of coffee from my travel mug.

"Well then you need to tell me what the fuck happened last night to make you leave fast enough for you to forget your purse," Alice growled, irritated that I hadn't spoken for the first five minutes of our drive to work together.

"Alice, can you at least let me finish my first cup of coffee before we have this discussion. It's a bit messy and my mind isn't quite coherent enough at five AM to be having this conversation." I closed my eyes settling back into the bucket seats of her car.

"Fine, but I can't wait much longer. I couldn't sleep not knowing what the devil happened last night. Not to mention my excitement over the championship. Poor Jasper didn't know what to do when I pounced on him when we finally got home last night." She grinned devilishly at me, wiggling her eyebrows, before she noticed my lack of response and the scowl returned to her face. "So if you want to wait until lunch, fine, but I'm going to expect every single dirty little detail for making me wait so damn long."

"Fine, just give me till lunch…. Crap! I can't do lunch today. I'm supposed to be over at the hospital by eleven thirty." I remembered.

"Right, I forgot it was Friday. Well then you'll have to spill it on our ride home then." She smirked, knowing that she had me trapped in her car for at least forty five minutes to grill my ass.

"Wonderful." I rolled my eyes and looked out the window, watching the sun rise against the horizon.

I let Alice chatter away about the game last night as I mostly tuned her out, only nodding at the times I thought appropriate. My mind was only on one thing. Edward. Last night was a cluster fuck of epic proportions. Not only had he put his foot in his mouth, but I had managed to run away before I even knew what the situation was. It was pathetic at how out of practice I was at the whole relationship and communication thing. I had been on my own for so long that I forgot what it was like to have to talk to someone, and actually not only talk, but to listen to what they had to say as well. I couldn't remember a time when I had to worry about who my decisions effected aside from myself. Actually I do remember the last time, but I had calculated what the outcome would be, and it worked out exactly the way that I had meant them to. Putting time and space between those decisions made me regretful for how I had reacted, but hindsight can't change the past, so I tried not to dwell on that often.

"Bella? Bella, did you hear anything I just said?" she asked, sounding rather annoyed with me.

"What? Sorry Alice, my mind wandered there for a second, what?" I tried to cover for my inattention.

"Did you tell Edward about Saturday or not?"

"Oh, yeah, uh, no. I did try though, but got cut off before I could finish." I shrugged knowing that tomorrow was going to be quite a shock for poor Edward.

"Bella…" she said in her disapproving mother voice.

"Do you think I can pull it off as I was trying to surprise him?" I asked, weakly trying to come up with some kind of way to pull this off without hurting Edward's feelings.

"God you're pathetic. What am I going to do with you?"

I shrugged again not really having a witty retort for her comment.

The day sped quickly by; mostly dominated by my exhausted daydreams of my boyfriend Edward. I grinned to myself as I thought back to his rambled confession that he wanted me to be his girlfriend. After four days we were suddenly dating and I had never been more thrilled and terrified all at the same time. We still had a very long way to go, but for the moment it felt right, and for once in my life I just wanted to go with the flow and not over think every little action or thought.

I had given Alice the blow by blow of last night's main event and while she was shocked by what Edward said, she also understood that for such a private person, having Rosalie demand to know our dating status had flustered him. She was supportive and could see how excited and blissful he was making me from the smile I had plastered on my face since Tuesday night. She wished me a good weekend before driving off towards her home.

Letting myself into my house I let out a big sigh as I plopped myself down on the couch. I was looking forward to coming home after my shift at the hospital to a quiet evening of a beer and a good book. I was also looking forward to falling asleep and dreaming of Edward into the late morning on Saturday. I only hoped that dream Edward could get past second base tonight since my dreams had not changed much all week. I was so frustrated that I didn't know what to do. I had never had this type of pent up energy build up inside me before and I didn't really know what to do to relieve it. I could only hope that I would gather up enough courage to tell Edward the truth and that he would still want me after the dust settled.

Glancing up at the wall clock, I got up and hurried into my bedroom to change my clothes and head out to the hospital.

"Hey Bella, how's it going?" Steve, a tall and handsome orderly asked as I headed down the hall to visit with the various patients I had come to know well.

"Hello Steve. How about those Lakers last night?" I said, waving at him as I continued my way down the hall.

I hit the large button on the wall and waited for the oversized doors to swing open, allowing me entrance into the pediatric burn ward at UCLA medical center.

"Bella, it's nice to see you. Excited about your big night?" Jessica, the charge nurse for the floor asked as she continued typing at the computer she was working on behind the large desk.

"Hello Jessica. I'm about as excited as I can be. How's everyone doing today?" I replied, stopping at the desk to get a quick update on the kid's stats.

"Well, Jenny's had a setback. She was taken down to ICU with an infection. Bree is just about ready to explode with excitement about tomorrow night and Alec is well… Alec. He's been bragging about beating you on his PSP to all the other kids earlier. Hope you're ready for a rematch?" she asked, laughing at Alec's competitive streak.

"Do you think it would help me if I actually knew how to snowboard before attempting to beat him at that Shaun White game?" I groaned, knowing that he was going to beat me again today. "Don't they make simple driving games anymore? I rocked at _Pole Position_." I smiled, and took my daily assignments from her.

"_Pole Position_? Aren't you a little young to even know about that game?" she teased.

"The arcade back home had classic games as well as new ones. I liked the old classics better. They required less coordination," I said defensively and walked down to visit with Bree.

I walked past the brightly colored hallways designed with large murals of the outdoors and stepped into the small room on the left. After washing my hands thoroughly and putting on a mask, I exited and knocked on the door at the end of the hall.

"Come in," frail voice called from behind the door.

"Miss Bree, how are you today?" I asked, heading over to the recliner that was sitting next to her bed.

"BELLA!!" she shouted, excitedly bouncing up and down in her bed. She reminded me of what a young Alice would have been like. She radiated enthusiasm and passion for even the smallest things in life. I wish she was going to see past her teen years, but it was doubtful. Her mother had tried to help her when she was diagnosed with advanced leukemia, but soon the bills had started to pile up and overwhelm her. Her mother had decided that it was all too much, and drank an entire bottle of vodka before setting their house on fire with Bree shut in her bedroom. Bree survived but with severe burns to much of her legs and torso. Now she was dealing with the pain and agony of not only burn treatments and the death of her mother, but also the new chemotherapy she was to start next week now that her body had mostly healed from the various skin grafts she had undergone. My heart broke for this strong little girl. Tomorrow night she was having her Make-A-Wish come true by meeting Edward.

We were both being ushered to the venue by limo and she would accompany me up the stage to accept my award. During my acceptance speech, I had planned on asking Edward if he would let her sit with him while he played a song after intermission. I really hoped he would allow her to do so. He already knew that he was going to meet her after the concert, but this was an added twist that I really hoped he would go for. _Of course it would have been easier if I had just told him that I was being honored and I could have arranged it in advance. _I thought. But I was aiming for a surprise now and really hoped it didn't blow up in my face.

"I'm so good Bella. I can't wait for tomorrow!" She beamed up at me with a huge smile spread across her face.

"I brought you something," I said, remembering the bag that I had brought in with me. "I thought you might like a new outfit to wear tomorrow." I reached into the bag and handed her a box wrapped in paper adorned with lilacs and a large lavender bow.

"You did?" She ripped into the package, tearing the paper to shreds as she pulled the lid off the box. Pulling the purple dress out of the box, she fingered the lace as tears started falling down her cheeks. "Bella, this is so pretty. I love purple," she declared before pulling out the white tights and black shoes that were settled into the box below the dress.

"I can't have you looking anything less than the princess you are when you're going to meet prince charming now, can I?" I teased, taking the box and shredded paper off the bed and putting it in the trash can across the room.

"Where's my crown then? A princess needs a crown!" she exclaimed, still clutching the dress to her chest.

"Maybe prince charming will give you a crown. You never know," I said, heading back to sit in the chair beside her. "So what would you like to do today? Book, movie, or board game?" I asked.

"Connect four?"

"You got it," I said, walking out of the room and down to the play room to get the game from the closet.

"Ha! Connect four!!" she shouted for the fourth time in thirty minutes.

"Alright you win Miss Bree, but you better watch out, next week I'll be sending you to the Chocolate Swamp!" I teased, grabbing my bag to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow at five. I'll help you with your dress and hair and we'll see Edward soon after that, okay?"

"Yeah!! Can't wait!! See you tomorrow!!" She waved frantically as I closed the door. She made my week every time I came to see her. I knew starting next week our visits would be different, with her being sick and tired from the chemotherapy, but I hoped that I could at least cheer her up for the time I had with her.

I walked down the hall to see Alec in the play room sitting at a long table playing with his PSP next to Zoe, a thin girl around ten with brown hair and half of her face severely disfigured. I took a deep breath and walked in to see what they were up to.

"Hey guys, what are you playing?" I asked, taking a seat in a small child sized chair at the table across from them.

"What else? _Shaun White Snowboarding," _Zoe responded, rolling her eyes at him. "It's not like we don't have ten other games to play, but all he wants to play is this. It's really annoying."

"Hey… practice makes perfect and I am perfecting the art of beating the pants off Miss Bella," he bragged never taking his eyes off the game.

"Well, I won't keep you from you perfecting your game. Just wanted to see how you guys were doing. I'll see you next week." I stood and headed back to the desk to do some paper work.

The rest of my shift at the hospital was filled with doing paperwork, filing and visiting with the various patients and family members visiting them. At four o'clock I packed up my bag and headed for the door looking forward to my quiet evening. _God, could you be more pathetic, spending another lonely Friday alone at your house._ I thought before remembering that, while I was going to be alone for the evening, I had a boyfriend! My mind drifted once again to his strong arms and the thought of him running them along the sides of my body before cupping my face to pull me in close for a passionate kiss.

"Bella… Bella!" I heard my name being called from the fog of my daydream. I spun around to see Dr. Kostas calling me.

"Hi Dr. Kostas, sorry I was lost in thought there," I apologized as the blush rose up on my cheeks.

"No problem, I Just wanted to say hi and that I'm looking forward to the benefit tomorrow. Dr. Cullen and I will be introducing you during intermission. Hope you're ready," he said patting me softly on the back.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be I guess. I better get going. I'll see you tomorrow," I said, gesturing towards my car.

"See you tomorrow," He replied, walking back towards his car as I got into mine and drove off.

**EPOV**

"Emmett, get the fuck up! I have to leave in about ten minutes and I need to make sure you have all the info on mom and dad's flight," I shouted, pounding on the door to the guest room I had put Emmett in.

Not hearing any movement on the other side of the door, I decided to open it. I knew better than to fling the door open; my eyes had been witness to too many objectionable sights when we stayed at each other's apartments. Emmett's bare ass was just one of the many assorted memories that I wish I could scrub from my mind so I opened the door cautiously.

He wasn't fucking in there. "God damn it!" I shouted, marching back down to the kitchen where my cell phone sat from the previous night. I glanced at it to see if I had a message, but the screen was blank. God, my brother was so predictable. I'm sure he somehow managed to pick up some chick at the game and went home with her. That was his standard MO; I'm not sure why I would have thought any differently.

I dialed Emmett's number only to hear it go straight to voicemail. _Great, he turned it off or let it run out of battery. _"Emmett, call me." I hung up quickly and searched my contacts until I found the name that should have at least some idea where he was. Rosalie. I hit the send button and waited for her to answer. I had asked her one single favor, to make sure Emmett got back to my house, and she couldn't even do that for me.

I heard her voice come on as it went into her voicemail, "Hi this is Rosalie from Hale and Reed PR, please leave me a detailed message and I will return your call at my earliest convenience. Thank you."

"Rose, this is Edward. I'm just curious to know if you happen to know where the fuck my brother might be. Last I saw, he was left in your capable hands. Call me." I hit the end button before grabbing my cup of coffee on the counter and taking a big swallow of the bitter liquid. _This was going to be a long freaking day_. I sighed at the thought and walked back upstairs to finish getting ready.

Five minutes later my phone buzzed in my pocket.

"Emmett," I growled picking up the phone.

"He bro, why so tense?" He lazily replied.

"Where are you?" I asked curtly.

"I'm headed back to your casa as we speak. What's up?"

"Fine, I have to run, but wanted to check that you were cool picking mom and dad up at three?" I asked.

"Of course, no worries. Do I get to take the Audi?" He teased, knowing that the car wouldn't fit the three of them and their luggage comfortably.

"No, you'll take the Mercedes of course. I'll leave the key on the counter. "

"Cool… so did you resolve your GIRL ISSUES?" he asked, dragging out his words.

"Yes, and where did you end YOUR evening?" I asked, rolling my eyes. I already knew the response.

"Um… met a hot Betty and went home with her. Didn't want to pop your house's cherry for you," he taunted me knowing about my limited sexual history.

"I appreciate that, really I do but next time, can you leave me a freaking message?"

"Whatever Mom."

"I gotta run. See you at dinner tonight," I said letting out a frustrated sigh.

"Cool, later."

I grabbed my messenger bag and started walking towards the garage. I had told Garrett to take the day off so that I could drive today. I needed to clear my head and driving always helped me to do that. I would have loved to take my motorcycle but I had some errands to run and needed the trunk space.

I pulled out of the driveway and headed south to a photo shoot that I was doing for _Rolling Stone_ magazine. It was being shot at a small studio in Culver City. I had hoped that it wouldn't take too long, as I dreaded photo shoots more than anything else. Standing still and trying to smile differently every time the photographer asked was a chore. The hair people always tried to tame my wild locks, but usually to no avail. Eventually the stylist would just give up and say it was sexy the way it was. I never understood why they would make me sit in a chair for an hour so that I could look basically the same as I did when I sat down, but what the hell did I know about hair?

My thoughts went back to Bella and how horribly I had screwed up the previous night. I almost let the woman of my dreams slip though my fingers because I was afraid of my damn publicist. I would need to talk with Rosalie soon to straighten things out. Screw what the public wanted; for once I actually wanted something and I was going to be selfish about it. I just hoped that living in my fishbowl for a while wouldn't send her running off to a remote jungle in Brazil just to get away from the prying eyes of Joe public.

My phone buzzed in the compartment between the seats shaking me from my thoughts.

"Rose," I answered.

"So you lost your brother already did you?" She snidely remarked.

"Actually he's been found no thanks to you," I snipped right back. I was in no mood for her bitchiness.

"Excellent, glad to hear. On your way to the shoot?" She asked.

"Yes. God help me if this takes longer than a couple of hours. I only have so much smiling in me today," I groaned.

"Well maybe they'll want emo Edward today and you can frown your distaste though the whole thing," She quipped.

"One can only hope. I gotta go, I don't like talking and driving. Talk to you later," I said trying to maneuver through the thick traffic.

"Alight, good luck and smile purrty," she teased before hanging up.

I took off my Bluetooth headset and concentrated on the directions that I had printed out earlier this morning, not wanting to get lost and end up late. I hated being late more than I hated doing photo shoots.

The rest of the day passed quickly. I was surprised by the photo shoot this morning. The photographer really knew how to make me at ease. He let me wear the clothes I was already wearing for much of the shoot, only changing my shirt for a black button down for the last few shots of the day. I was able to move around and be myself. I didn't even know he was shooting for some of the time because I was distracted by things going on in the room. When he had shown me some of the proofs on his computer before I left, I was shocked at how at ease and relaxed I looked. My mind wandered, thinking that perhaps just being around Bella for a few days had made me loosen up.

I was headed up to Pacific Palisades to have dinner with my parents and Emmett tonight. We were meeting at a small sushi place, the _Pearl Dragon_. Parking my car on a side street, I walked the short few blocks to the restaurant. I could have used the valet, but preferred to do my own parking when it was easy to find a spot. I walked in and saw that they were sitting at the bar waiting for me.

"Mom, Dad, so good to see you guys," I remarked, giving them both a big hug before taking a seat next to my mom.

"You too sweetie. How was your day?" My mother asked.

"Long, but good. How was your flight? Uneventful I hope?"

"We were delayed a bit in Seattle due to fog, but only arrived about thirty minutes late. Poor Emmett was driving in circles for an hour I think." Dad chuckled glancing over at Emmett who looked slightly worse for the wear.

"Yeah, yeah… if SOMEONE had told me what his computer password was, I could have checked on your flight status," He complained, giving me a death glare.

"Emmett, if you had managed to make it home last night, I could have told you lots of things. You_ do_ know that you can check on a flight using the phone right? It's not like it was your only option." I smirked, knowing that he was probably so exhausted from his activities last night that thinking was not high on his priority list right now.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah… whatever," he replied taking a large swallow from his glass of beer.

"Hair of the dog Em?"

"Mr. Masen, we have space at the sushi bar for you, if you would like to follow me?" The hostess interrupted.

"Great. Thanks," I said, as we all stood up and followed her.

"I'm starving. It's about freaking time you got here Edward, what took you so long anyhow?" Emmett grumbled, poking me in the back.

"Yeah it's called work you dumb ass. I didn't sit my butt around the pool all day like I'm sure you did," I quipped, only to be cuffed in the back of the head by my mother.

"Watch your language! You are in public," she chided me quietly.

"Sorry mom," I apologized, hearing Emmett's soft snigger behind me.

We sat down and began ordering an assortment of food from the chef standing before us.

"Dad, did Edward tell you he ran into Bella Swan the other day?" Emmett asked with a sly smirk on his face.

"Really… and how is she?" He asked, sending me a knowing smile letting me know that he knew Emmett was up to something.

"She's hot. I'm pretty sure Eddie boy is thinking about dating her. Isn't that right E?" He smirked over to me.

I let out a big sigh knowing that Emmett was just trying to rile me up. "She's good, a DJ for a local radio station and doing really well for herself," I replied, just as the sushi chef set plates of food down onto the counter in front of us. I said a silent prayer that with food in his mouth, Emmett would shut up and let my love life drop, but my father decided he wasn't quite done with the conversation.

"You know that she's getting a big award tomorrow night, right?" He said between bites of sashimi.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, bewildered that my dad would know anything about Bella.

"She's getting the UCLA Medical Center's Volunteer of the Year award at the benefit tomorrow. You knew that right?" He asked again.

I shook my head and didn't say anything. I wasn't sure how to respond. Why wouldn't Bella have told me that she was receiving an award at the concert I was performing at? I was baffled and feeling slightly irritated that she had kept a secret from me. I thought we were being honest and upfront with one another? I just couldn't help but feel annoyed at the slight.

"I'm sure she's just been nervous about it," Mom said soothingly, rubbing my arm trying to calm the wave of frustration she knew was welling up inside me. She always knew how to keep my emotions in check.

"Yes, she works in the pediatric burn unit a couple times a week. She's started some really great programs that have helped a lot of kids deal with their injuries," he continued, not realizing what he said had bothered me. "Demitri and I are presenting the award to her during your intermission."

"Huh… yeah she didn't mention it." I picked up my tuna roll and stuffed it into my mouth hoping to buy me some time to think.

"Wow Edward, your girl's already keeping secrets…" Emmett butted in to my thoughts, slapping my back hard from around the seat that my mom was in.

"Emmett… Cut. That. Shit. Out," I said through gritted teeth, shoving another bite of sushi into my mouth.

"Boys, stop it. We're here for a nice dinner." Mom glared at the both of us.

We sat and ate in strained silence for a while before my mom asked, "Emmett, why don't you tell us about what you've been up to lately?"

"Yeah Emmett. Why don't you tell mom and dad where you ended up last night? I'm sure we're all curious to know," I teased trying to get back at him for earlier.

"Just making up for your share," he quipped back not answering the question.

"Just because I'm not a man whore…" I started before my mom cuffed me upside my head again, effectively shutting me up.

"Enough! Can't we have one peaceful meal? You two act like you're still children sometimes, I swear," she said, before turning to my father. "Are you about ready? I'd like to go back to the apartment and get some rest. It's been a long day," She added, glaring at both Emmett and I.

"Actually Mom…Dad…E… I need to talk to you guys about something," Emmett said looking very serious for the first time this evening. "I am thinking about moving to Los Angeles in July. I put my notice in on my apartment and have told work already."

"What?" We all replied at the same time looking shocked that Emmett was thinking about moving away from his beloved New York City.

"I just miss you guys and since Edward is here and you guys fly down all the time for Dad's work, I figured maybe it was time to come back to the family." He grinned warmly at us but had a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

"What's wrong Emmett, you sleep with all the women in New York and you are now trying to make your mark here?" I teased, trying to get him to say what the BUT was that I knew was coming.

"No… Jeez E, give me a little credit. Actually I'm bringing it up now because I want to know if I can stay at your place until I find a job and a place of my own." He looked down at his beer sheepishly.

"Well, I'm going out on tour in mid-July, so it will be good to have a house sitter for a month or so, but when I get back over Labor Day I want you out!" I stated, only slightly joking. I didn't need him around if I was trying to maintain a relationship with Bella. Hell, I just didn't need him around period; I had never had a roommate and didn't want to start now.

"That's great Emmett. It will be nice to see you more often. Do you have any leads for jobs?" Dad asked while rubbing Mom's back soothingly.

"A couple, but maybe when you're at the hospital this week you can ask around for me?" Emmett grinned broadly, lifting his eyebrows and cocking his head. The move he always did when he was asking for a favor.

"I'll see what I can do, but while you're here this weekend you should do some poking around on your own. You can't expect us all to do your work for you," Dad reminded him. "Honey, you mentioned you were tired, are you ready?"

Mom nodded and bid us goodnight. "We'll see you tomorrow. It's a big night for Edward and your father, so perhaps you can keep the bickering to a minimum?" She bent down and kissed both of our cheeks before gliding out of the restaurant.

"So, what do you want to do now?" Emmett asked with a huge mischievous grin on his face.

"I'm tired Em, can we go back home? Maybe play some X-box or something?" I answered, suddenly feeling dead on my feet. "This way I can have a nice big glass of scotch and not worry about driving home," I finished.

"You know I'm going to kick your ass at Madden, right?" He taunted.

"You know I got a pre-release copy of Madden 10 right? Doubt you've played it yet, so I think I'll be the one doing the ass whooping tonight," I laughed, settling the bill and giving the chef a nice tip for his excellent service.

"Let's go before I make you walk home," I said, as we made our way out to the car.

"Whatever man, I'd just end up finding a pretty lady to stay with. You know the power of my dimples."

"Shut up and get in the car."

"I'm just saying…"

"Yeah, yeah…" I started the engine and we drove off into the night. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day…

**

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**A/N**

_So what did you think? Did Bella forgive too easily?? Why is she keeping her attendance at the benefit a secret?? Tune in to find out. _

_Hopefully this next chapter won't take more than a week to get out. It's almost done being written. If you review, I may even send you a little sneak peek into the next chapter. It's Benefit Time!!!_


	8. What an Honor

**A/N – **

_Okay – here it is… a chapter within 2 weeks of the last being posted… I know crazy right? _

_Disclaimer – Don't own anything, it all belongs to Stephanie Meyer._

_A huge thanks to my betas – __**Blackjacklily and Emmett_lover**__- They helped beta this even over a holiday weekend – so you have them to thank for this being posted so quickly._

_Thanks to my Twilighted Beta – __**Totoro **_

_Thanks to everyone who has put this on their alerts & favorites. It makes my day to see those come in to my e-mail box. I would __REALLY__ love if a few more of you would review as well… but I'll take what I can get._

**What an Honor**

_**BPOV**_

_I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he whispered in my ear. "Bella, you're lying to me… tell me what's in your pretty little head?" he mocked as he moved his hand, allowing my hair to cascade back down over the place where his lips just were._

"_I…I don't know what you are talking about…" I stammered, turning my head to see him scowling down at my face, his beautiful features scrunching up. He could see right through me as if I was a clear pane of glass, so fragile that any amount of pressure would send fissures spreading out across its perfect facade. My need to tell him everything was bubbling up from deep inside my chest, yet my mouth remained shut tight. I could hear the deep sigh he blew out as I watched him turn and walk out the door. Racing after him, I flung the door open and stepped out, only to find that it led to nothing but sky. I began falling, breezing past billowing clouds. There was nothing below me other than the wide expanses of blue. My mouth finally decided to work and I began screaming as my descent took me past images of my past. I felt like Dorothy, looking out of her spinning house, only the images were far more haunting than an evil woman on a bike or a broom. Twisted metal and smoke billowed around my falling form. The stunned and vacant look from two sets of dark brown eyes frozen in time haunted me. I was tumbling and twisting and burning up. _

One of my tumbles left me face down on the floor beside the bed. I sleepily looked around my room to get my bearings. It was still dark out as I picked myself off the floor and began rearranging my sheets and covers from my restless sleep. Glancing over at the clock, I noticed that it was only three am. I knew that I would need to call Edward when it became a more decent hour. I needed, at the very least, to tell him about tonight. I didn't want him to think I was trying to deceive him in any way. The vivid dream I just had shored up my conviction to just get on with it. It wasn't just for me, but for Bree as well. It was her night much more than mine and I couldn't handle it if she were disappointed in any way.

Tossing and turning for the next four hours, I tried to think of a good way to explain my delay in telling him but came up empty. Deciding that I had had enough restless sleep, I got up and made a pot of strong coffee. There was only one person who I knew would be up this early on a Saturday and I prayed that she would be able to help me sort out my jumbled thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Alice, hey it's me, Bella."

"You're up awfully early for a Saturday. What's going on?" I could hear concern rising in her voice.

"I just needed some advice and you were the only one who would be up at the ungodly hour of seven on a weekend," I said, taking a large gulp from the coffee I had just poured.

"Spill it."

"So I decided that I really need to tell Edward before tonight."

"Aaaand…" she mocked, waiting for the big epiphany that brought me to this conclusion.

"So I want to call him this morning and tell him but I'm not really sure how, and I was kind of hoping for some of your sage wisdom," I rushed, waiting for her to tell me it was all going to be okay.

"Bella," she sighed. "God, you're a pain in the ass. Just call him and invite him for coffee or brunch or something. Then just tell him. If he's busy then do it over the phone. Honesty is always the best policy so just go with your gut. That guy adores you, so just be honest and I'm sure you'll be fine. Now I gotta go or I'm going to be late for my yoga class."

"Okay, thanks Al. Have fun and wish me luck."

"Good luck and call me later and let me know how it went," she said, hanging up before I could respond.

Setting the phone down on the counter, I stared at it while I held my warm mug between my hands. _What have I gotten myself into? _I thought glumly. I stood up and headed back to the bathroom to take a shower. It would kill a little time before I could actually call Edward, and if he was free, I would be more than ready to go as soon as I ended the call.

The clock finally said 8:30 and after sitting at my table for the last half hour, I nervously picked up the phone. Taking a deep breath, I exhaled loudly before dialing his number.

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered.

"Ed…Edward?" I asked dumbly into the phone.

"Mmhmm."

"God, I'm so sorry. You're still asleep. I'll call back later…"

"Bella?" the sleepy voice asked, sounding slightly more awake.

"Um… yeah, I'm so sorry to wake you. Go back to sleep and give me a call when you get up," I rushed, trying to hang up and deal with the mortification of waking what is probably a _very_ sexy sleeping Edward.

"No, no, it's okay. Just give me a minute to wake up. How are you?" he asked as I heard rustling in the background. Immediately my mind drifted off to thoughts of his naked torso stepping out of his gigantic bed, clad in just a pair of tight fitting boxers. I moaned unconsciously and remembered he had asked me a question when he replied to my accidental moan.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"Oh, um, yeah. Sorry about that. I've been good. Yesterday was really busy and long, but good. How was yours?" _Good job Bella. You suck ass at small talk. Just ask him for coffee this morning and get it over with. Then you can get back to imagining sexy naked Edward in all his beautiful six-pack glory. _All thoughts were now rebelling against my attempts at a normal conversation.

"It was about the same as yours. It ended a little too late, with a little too much scotch, thanks to Emmett's insistence that we play Xbox until the wee hours of the morning." He chuckled and I could hear him taking gulps of what I assume was probably coffee.

"Um, I was sort of wondering if you had plans this morning. I wanted to see if you might like to grab some coffee or something? I wanted to talk to you about…something," I shakily asked, hoping to not get rejected.

"I'd love to, but am supposed to meet my folks for brunch in Brentwood around eleven. Can we maybe meet around nine thirty, maybe in your neighborhood?" he asked timidly.

"Sure, do you want to meet me at my house? I'll brew up some coffee and we can stay here. This way we won't need to deal with prying eyes. Does that sound alright?"

"Sounds perfect, see you in about an hour."

"Good, one hour."

I got dressed, poured another cup of coffee, and waited nervously for Edward's imminent arrival. Making myself comfortable in the window seat, I tried to rehearse what I was going to say about tonight. Unfortunately, my mind started to wander to a more scandalous territory.

"_Bella… God, you're so beautiful," Edward whispered reverently into my ear as his large hands lightly caressed my body, roaming up and down my sides. He brought his soft lips to my neck and began peppering kisses across my bare collarbone, leaving a trail of heat in his wake. Shivering, I leaned into his touch._

"_Mmm… you are so sexy standing in my kitchen in nothing but your bra and panties. That color against your creamy skin is heavenly." His kisses descended down my chest and paused momentarily at the gap between my breasts. Moving his hands slowly up my back to unclasp my bra, he let the straps fall off my shoulders as he slid them slowly down my arms, freeing my breasts from their confinement. He sighed contentedly as he looked down upon them. "God Bella, you are more gorgeous than I ever imagined you to be."_

_I could feel the blush ascend from my chest to my cheeks, leaving them hot to my touch. My hands drifted back to Edward's head as I pulled him close for a passionate kiss. His hands roamed up to squeeze my breasts, his thumb running roughly over my erect nipple. Moaning into his mouth, I captured his bottom lip between my teeth and tugged gently. "God, you are driving me crazy…" he murmured before swiftly picking me up and setting me on the cold granite of his countertop. I could feel his breath moving down my chest to capture one of my nipples between his teeth as he rolled his tongue over the sensitive nub. They had been erect for so long that they were now approaching painful as the blood surged into the tips. _

_I braced my body with my hands behind me as his head descended down my stomach to the top of my panties. Licking around the rim and taking gentle nips, he hooked his nimble fingers underneath the thin elastic sides and slid them downward. My bottom lifted up to allow them passage before settling back down onto the cool surface. Nudging my knees further apart, he grabbed a stool and sat down between them. My body was traitorously giving my arousal away as I knew he would find me wet and ready when he finally moved towards my center. Picking up my leg, he gently placed it on his shoulder while licking and nibbling his way up my inner thigh. His lithe fingers slid down my clit before entering me in one quick motion._

"_Good God Bella, you're so wet for me already…" he moaned before his face was quickly nestled up against my core and his tongue began lapping at my already wet center._

My eyes fluttered open just in time to see that Edward had pulled up to my house in his black Audi, dragging me out of the erotic daydream I had been having. I watched him from the window as he got out of his car, trying to shake my sexual frustration off before meeting him at the door. Not having seen him during daylight hours all week, I noticed he was even more gorgeous with the sunlight backlighting his magnificent body in a halo of light. Waving at him from the window, I walked over to the door to let him in.

"Hi," he said, grinning lazily down at me.

"Hi, yourself. Come on in," I said, holding the heavy door open for him. He leaned in for a quick kiss as he walked by.

"Sorry, I couldn't wait another minute," he murmured as he grabbed my waist, spinning me around and up against the wall before pulling me in for another one. Stepping back, the grin on his face said it all. "I missed you."

"Wow, if that's only one day I can't wait to see the welcome I get next week when you're back from New York," I teased, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards my kitchen. I needed to get this off my chest so that I could enjoy whatever time we had left this morning.

He laughed and came up behind me, hugging me tight to his chest. "I can't wait until next Friday, it will be exponentially hotter," he whispered into my ear.

Walking into the kitchen I turned. "How do you like your coffee?" I asked him.

"Black and strong."

I poured it into a large mug and handed it over to him. Pointing to the small table sitting in the corner, I gestured for him to sit down before refilling my own mug and walking over to the table.

"Bella, this house is really charming. It's in a great location." he gushed, sitting down after pulling out a chair for me.

"Yep, it's small but quaint. It's perfect for just me." I felt my nerves begin to rattle in my core. I could see my hands shaking minutely as I held my cup up to lips. "Um… so I needed to…ah…tell you something…" I stammered, looking sheepishly into my mug.

"Bella, its fine, what's going on? You know you can talk to me." I could feel his long fingers tug on my chin to look up at him. His eyes reflected only kindness and understanding.

"Right… um, you know your benefit tonight? Well, I'm sort of being honored during the intermission. I'm UCLA's volunteer of the year… I meant to tell you but it didn't really come up…and then I tried to tell you on Thursday night but we got interrupted, and I know I should have said something earlier, but I didn't really know what to say…"

"Bella, breathe." He smiled, cutting my nervous rambling off. "I actually already knew. My dad mentioned it to me last night. But I can say I'm glad you told me before tonight. I wasn't sure why you were hiding it from me." He cocked his head to the side and threw me his famous crooked smile before grabbing my hand and running soothing circles over the back of it.

"Why…why didn't you mention it to me? I feel like such an ass that you had to hear it from your Dad." I yanked my hand out from under his and grabbed my mug like it could anchor my nerves.

"Bella, I just found out last night. I would have said something when I talked to you today, but you did it first." He sighed, running his hand through his disheveled hair.

"Oh."

We sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while before I remembered that I needed to also ask him about Bree.

"Um…so I also need to kind of ask you for a favor…" I looked up at him timidly, only to see him smirking slyly at me.

"Oh, really? And what can I do for you my sweet Bella?" he seductively whispered to me, leaning in across the table to gaze deeply in my eyes.

"Um… what?" My mind had gone completely blank with the exception of my laser focus on his soft pink lips. I could hear him chuckling as I continued to gawk at his lovely upturned mouth.

"Bella? I think you wanted to ask me something?" His hand reached out and tipped my head back so that my eyes were focused on his.

"What? Right… You know you're meeting a girl named Bree from the Make a WishMake-a-Wish foundation?"

"Yes, I'm meeting her after the show. I've gotten a few promotional things that I've signed for her…"

"That's great, but I have been working with her since she got admitted into the unit and I was wondering if you might allow her to sit on your piano bench while you played a song after intermission maybe? She's going to come up on stage with me then, so it would be a good time right afterwards. If you don't want to, that's totally okay as she doesn't know about it, but she's just been through so much and I really want this night to be special for her…" His hand flew up to cover my mouth as a huge grin spread across his face.

"Bella, relax. I think that's a great idea. I even know what song I'll play for her. My mom used to play it for me all the time when I was little and I think it'll be perfect. I'm keeping it a surprise though. I'll make sure to let the crew know about this change to our set."

"Really? You'd do that?" Looking up at him I only saw compassion in his eyes.

"Bella, I heard about her background when the Make a WishMake-a-Wish people contacted me. She's been through so much. Even if I don't know her like you do, I know she deserves at least one night for her dreams to come true." He grabbed my hand quickly and began running his thumb over it soothingly. "If I'm the one that's able to do that for her, of course I'd do it. And having you asking for it is just a plus." I saw the grin once again and had a feeling I knew what was coming next. "You also now owe me since it is after all a favor… so when you least expect it, I'll be asking for one of my own." He nodded and looked down at me with a mischievous look spread out across his features.

"Sure, sure, whatever you need," I replied, waving my hand dismissively at him. "More coffee?" I asked, getting up from the table. It was a purely defensive move to get my head and hormones back under control. _Why does this man fluster me so? It's as if I'm a hormonal teenager again._ Unfortunately, my teenage years weren't as exciting as my popularity would have made it seem like. Being the daughter of the town's police chief made boys think twice before copping a feel, and my prudeness didn't help me in that department either.

"No, I'm good. So tell me, how did you end up volunteering at UCLA?" I looked over and saw that Edward was watching me intently, waiting for an answer to his simple question.

Turning back to the coffee pot, I began fumbling around with it trying to buy time with an answer. I should have known that he would ask. He was way more perceptive than most of the people who I had come across in my daily life. Since I started volunteering, no one other than the volunteer coordinators at both Swedish Medical Center in Denver and UCLA had bothered to ask me it.

"Um sort of as penance…" I swallowed a big gulp of coffee and shrugged, hopefully letting him know that this wasn't a conversation I wanted to be having.

"Hmmm…I will want to know what for at some point, but I'll let it go for now." He winked before getting up to put his cup in the sink. "Unfortunately, I have to run. Are you getting a ride to the benefit?" he asked, settling back down at the table.

"Yeah, the limo is coming to get me around 5:30 to head over the hospital where we'll pick up Bree, Jessica, one of the nurses, Kathleen, her Make-a-Wish coordinator and Doctor Kostas."

"Would you like to maybe catch a ride back in my limo? It would be nice to have a little bit more alone time with you before I head to New York tomorrow." He reached over and stroked my hand while intently gazing into my weary eyes.

"I'd love to. I have a backstage pass because of the award, so I'll head back after the show. Sound good?"

Edward stood up and rounded the table before taking my hand and gently tugging me up to wrap me in his warm embrace. Looking into my eyes, he leaned down to give me a smoldering kiss that took my breath away.

"Wow, Edward. I'm not sure where you learned to kiss like that, but you definitely deserve an A plus in that class!" I shook my head trying to clear the haze that seemed to always settle in after spending any length of time with Edward.

"Hmm… I think I could use more practice. You know what they say…" His strong arms pulled me close into his chest as he ducked his head back down to trail kisses along my jaw until he finally settled in at my mouth. It was heavenly and I wished that we could have spent the rest of the day doing just this. My body shifted to try to get even closer and I felt my leg brush his straining bulge.

"Oh, shit! I'm sorry Edward!" I exclaimed, pulling back like a thirteen year old girl who had never felt a dick before. _Smooth move, Bella. Jeez, could you be a bigger prude? _My face exploded in color as I looked down at my feet in complete mortification.

Edward's arms clutched my back as he drew me close again. I felt his hot breath against my ear as he whispered, "Bella, there's nothing to be sorry about. Now you know just how much being near you affects me." I gave him an apologetic smile before returning to his embrace.

"I wish I could stay, but I really do have to go. I'll see you tonight?" he asked, giving me another squeeze before pulling away.

"Yep, see you tonight," I replied before shutting the door behind him.

I spent the rest of the day catching up on the things I had neglected all week, which was mostly laundry and finally unpacking some of the remaining boxes that I hadn't gotten to last Sunday. When 5:30 rolled around, I was ready to go, dressed in a black long sleeve wrap dress with cute red Mary Jane heels. Alice had picked out the outfit for me and it truly was perfect for such an evening. When the doorbell rang, I grabbed my wrap and headed out the door.

After a quick stop at the hospital for me to get Bree ready and to pick up the other people who were attending with us, we made our way slowly to the Greek Theater. Once we arrived, we were met by Jennifer, our event coordinator for the evening. She whisked us up to our VIP section and sat down next to me, explaining how intermission was going to go. I felt my anxiety level diminish slightly with her detailed explanation. I would head down to the backstage area at the end of Edward's first set and be introduced by Dr. Cullen & Dr. Kostas before coming out to accept my award. Bree would join me on stage, and then Edward would invite her to sit with him for a song. It sounded easy enough, but I knew that my less than stellar coordination might do me in. I tried to not think about that and only focus on not tripping and my acceptance speech.

The balmy evening was the perfect setting for the concert. I looked around the intimate theater that I had only heard great things about. Soon the lights dimmed and I sat enraptured through Edward's first set. Bree was just as enthralled as I was, clutching my hand tightly through most of his songs. My affection for him grew exponentially by watching his stage presence. He was utterly mesmerizing when he was singing. He became all consumed with his playing and I was hooked. I noticed the set being changed and the piano being rolled off to the right. When Edward reemerged from the wings of the stage, he had a guitar slung over his shoulder and a mischievous grin plastered to his face. I sat anxiously, waiting to hear what he was going to say. I was still slightly shocked since I didn't even know that he played guitar, and was curious about what was coming next.

"I wanted to thank you all for coming tonight. This benefit is something very close to my heart and so I thank you again for coming out to support the new UCLA Children's burn unit. With your contributions we can help so many children recover from devastating burn injuries." He stepped away from the mic mike for a moment as he waved a couple of other people in from the wings. I was shocked to see Jasper strutting onto the stage with a guitar in his hand and recognized the other man from Edward's band. I was now way more than just curious. I was stunned to see Jasper and glanced around to see if I could see Alice. Standing a few yards away in what looked like Edward's family's VIP box, Alice was grinning at me like the cat that at the canary. She gave me a cheeky wave and pointed back at the stage.

"As you may have figured out, I'm going to do something that I haven't done before, play guitar live for you all. I'd like to thank my producer, Jasper Whitlock, for helping to improve my technique during all of our brainstorming sessions for my album. You've made it possible for me to come out here and play this tonight." He turned and gave Jasper a quick hug and pat on the back before turning back towards the audience.

"I'd like to dedicate this song to my family who've supported me through all of my accomplishments and my failures. I chose this song specifically because it was the first CD that I became obsessed with when my dad left it in our old CD player one day. He got so tired of retrieving it out of my room that he bought me my own copy for Christmas. So this is for you. Thank you for everything, I owe you all more than I could ever express." He smiled lovingly up to their box and turned to the guys, counting out the rhythm before playing the familiar opening cords to one of my favorite songs.

"She's a good girl. Loves her mama…Loves Jesus and America too… She's a good girl, crazy about Elvis, loves horses and her boyfriend too…"

His rendition of Tom Petty's _Free Fallin' _was hauntingly beautiful. I was listening intently when I felt a soft tap on my shoulder.

"Bella, it's time to head backstage." Jennifer motioned towards the aisle headed down towards the stage area.

Nodding in understanding, I leaned down and whispered to Bree that it was time. She excitedly grabbed my hand as we made our way down through the crowd to the back of the house along with Dr. Kostas. I was slightly disappointed to be leaving during this song, but knew that Edward would give me a private concert if I asked for it. _Mmm… Naked, private naked concert would sound lovely about now…_ I shook my head, now was not the time to let my dirty little mind get distracted.

Jennifer led us right to the side of the stage. From this vantage point I could see Edward and Jasper playing the final chorus of the song, and I realized just how quickly I was falling for Edward. We had been reconnected for barely a week, and yet I felt possessive and a little crazy at times over my feelings for him. I could only hope that he was feeling the same way. I decided right then and there that I would tell Edward about the accident next weekend. I didn't want to spend another week wondering what would happen when he found out. Of course, I was frightened about the prospect of him rejecting me after my heart had upped the ante to 'all in'. I shuddered involuntarily when I suddenly felt the unmistakable electric charge coming from my side.

Looking up, I saw Edward grinning down at me and pulled me close for a smoldering kiss.

"What did you think of the show so far?" he asked, kneeling down to ask Bree her thoughts.

"Wow…" Bree sighed, not able to finish her thoughts. Apparently being dazzled doesn't just happen to grown women.

"Bree, I would like to introduce you to Edward… Edward, Bree." I chuckled at the still stunned look that Bree had on her face after finally meeting her idol.

"Um… Hi Mr. Edward it's nice to meet you," she replied in her most polite voice, still quivering slightly.

"Bree, the pleasure is all mine." He bowed and kissed her delicate little hand.

I turned my attention from the two of them talking to what was happening on the stage. The two doctors were talking about the benefit and all of the new technology and procedures that they were currently working on. Dr. Cullen soon handed the microphone over to Dr. Kostas who began introducing me.

"Tonight, we are also here to honor someone who has volunteered not only her time, but also her desire to help these children to heal not only physically, but emotionally, from the deep scars of burn trauma. Isabella Swan came to our hospital a little over a year ago with glowing recommendations from her volunteer coordinator at the hospital she worked at in Denver. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that she would exceed even my highest expectations. Isabella doesn't just volunteer her time, but gives a piece of her heart to each and every child she works with. Her passion for helping them seemingly knows no bounds. I am truly honored to be standing here and presenting this award to Isabella, for she is not only an inspiration, but a survivor as well." The audience began to applaud but all my mind could register was the word 'survivor'. My face began to flush and even though my feet were moving me forward towards where the two doctors were standing, holding what looked to be a heavy crystal award, my mind was a complete blank. All the sounds that were swirling around were muted by my shock that Dr. Kostas had just outed my status as a burn survivor. My mind was reeling, trying to sort out all the implications that came with that revelation, including if Edward had caught that little end notation.

My mind suddenly cleared when I realized that I was now standing in the middle of the Greek Theater's stage, looking out at a large crowd who were waiting for me to make my acceptance speech. Looking down, I happened to notice that my hand was clutched tightly around a very small delicate one. _Oh, thank God that I was holding Bree's hand. Otherwise she would still be standing over in the wings. _I thought quickly to myself. Her big brown eyes looked up at me and gave me the most inviting and genuine smile that I have ever received. It was enough to snap me out of my trance long enough to begin my speech.

Taking a deep breath, I began. "Thank you so much Dr. Cullen and Dr. Kostas for your kind words. When I began working at UCLA Medical Center, I would never have imagined standing before you here tonight. The children who I work with inspire me every day not only with their strength, resilience, and spirit, but with their unwavering optimism as well. Sure they have bad days, but when it comes down to it, they long to see the good in all things, and that what is broken, can be healed. They haven't been marred with the daily skepticism and cynical outlook that most adults now have imbedded in to their very being. Unfortunately, their innocence has been tarnished by the burn trauma that they are suffering with, but ultimately they know deep down that if they can heal, they will. They teach me every day to see the world through their sparkling childlike essence, and I count my blessings every day to be able to be one of the people who help them inch towards the healing they need. Thank you so much for this award." I paused briefly to squeeze Bree's hand, letting her know that I was about to introduce her. "I have been lucky enough to work with the young lady standing next to me. Her name is Bree and she is here with the Make-a-Wish Foundation. Bree's wish was to meet her favorite musician Edward Masen. I am pleased that Edward was able to accommodate her request this evening."

Kneeling down so that I was eye level with Bree, I whispered, "Edward has a little surprise for you Bree." I gave her a big hug before standing back up. I could see Edward striding out to meet us at center stage for him to take her over to his piano. I handed Edward the mikec that I was holding so that he could fill her in on his surprise.

"Bree, I have a special song I'd like to play for you. Would you join me on my piano bench?" he asked, giving her his biggest smile.

"Um, sure Mr. Edward." she replied, taking his hand and walking over towards that grand piano that was at center stage.

He took her tiny hand in his and gently nudged me towards a stool that magically appeared at the front of his piano. I sat down and watched as he and Bree settled into the bench. He once again began to play a familiar tune.

"Why are there so many, songs about rainbows and what's on the other side… Rainbows are visions. They're only illusions and rainbows have nothing to hide… So we've been told and some choose to believe it, but I know they're wrong wait and see…. Someday we'll find it; the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers and me…"

Tears welled up in my eyes as I remembered my own mother singing the song to me when I would be upset or needed to be rocked to sleep after a bad dream. It had been so long since I thought of my mother, and for some reason, watching Edward sing so lovingly to Bree made me long for the connection we once had.

As the song closed I could see that I wasn't the only one who had gotten emotional over the song. Edward's eyes shone with unshed tears of his own as Bree beamed up at him with pure adoration. Ending the song, Edward stood up with Bree and headed for center stage to take a bow together. Standing up from the stool, I went to retrieve Bree so that we could walk back off stage. I grasped Bree's hand and leaned over to give Edward a chaste hug, whispering in his ear a heartfelt thank you for fulfilling a little girl's dream. He nodded and smiled crookedly as he headed back to his piano to continue the rest of his set.

The evening progressed wonderfully as Edward continued to blow me away with how varied his musical talent was. The second half of his concert was a mix of songs from his new album, as well as covers for some of my favorites. It was as if he had a connection into my mind, bringing out songs he knew I would love. The man continued to amaze me at every turn and as unsettled as that made me feel, it also warmed me to know that I was falling for this remarkable person.

At the end of the concert, Jennifer came back up to our seats to take Bree and Kathleen, her Make-a-Wish coordinator, to go and see Edward. I stayed behind for a little while, wanting to go and speak with Alice before heading back there myself.

I made my way over to the Cullen's VIP box so that I could say hello and speak with Alice about her little white lie about coming tonight. I saw that Emmett, Rose, Alice and Dr. Cullen were all deep in conversation when I walked up. Edward's mother surprised me by wrapping her arms around me in a warm embrace. "Isabella, it is so nice to finally meet you. Edward has been speaking very highly about you and it's nice to finally put a face to a name."

I took a step back and smiled shyly. "Thanks Mrs. Cullen, it's very nice to meet you too."

"Please dear, call me Esme." she replied, just as Alice stepped into our conversation.

"Bella, don't be mad. But it would have ruined the surprise." She tried to look remorseful but failed miserably at it. She gave me one of her famous, 'don't be mad at me' faces that she knew I couldn't resist.

"I'm not really mad Alice, just shocked I suppose."

"OK, good! So what did you think of Jazz's performance. He looked pretty hot in those jeans, didn't he?" She bounced, clapping her hands together in excitement.

"Alice, that song was amazing. Heck, I didn't even know Edward played the guitar."

"He's been playing for a while, but only as a more portable way of making music. I think Jasper really helped him to see all the potential that the instrument could provide if played with passion," Esme thoughtfully added.

"Isabella, it's so good to see you. Lovely speech," Dr. Cullen interrupted, patting me firmly on the back.

"Thanks Dr. Cullen, I was a bit nervous, so hopefully it didn't come off too badly." I shrugged.

"It was lovely. Shall we all head back to see Edward?" Esme added.

We all followed behind Esme to the backstage area. Once we got through security, I could see Edward sitting with Bree and taking the time to talk with her as well as explain to her what all of the gifts were that he brought for her. Just as our group walked up to him, Jessica reminded Bree that they needed to head back to the hospital. Bree's face fell but immediately went back into a full grin when Edward leaned down and whispered something in her ear. She got up and threw her little arms around Edward before turning to say goodbye to me.

"Miss Bella, thank you so much. I had the best time ever!" she exclaimed, hugging me fiercely.

"I'm very glad to hear that. I'll see you next week, okay?" I replied, before handing her back off to Jessica. "Night Jessica. Night Kathleen. Thank you both for the wonderful night. I'm quite sure she won't forget it," I said, before turning my attention back towards Edward, who was now surrounded by his family. I stood watching him interact with them and wished that I had a family to share the good and the bad with. I didn't realize that I was daydreaming until I felt Edward's hand grab mine, pulling me into his circle. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"Bella, you look sad, is everything okay?" he whispered into my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"Mmm hmm… just thinking… You were wonderful," I murmured, kissing his cheek lightly before turning my attention back to the group before us.

"So Edward, I know we have to be at the airport kind of early tomorrow, but did you want to go out and get a drink or something?" Emmett asked with a huge childlike grin on his face. If I didn't know better I would think that he was up to something.

"Actually I'm kind of tired and I still need to pack. I'm going to take Bella home and then probably head home. If you want to go out, that's cool, but we have a car coming to pick us up at seven tomorrow, so you better be ready or I won't hesitate to leave your ass here," He joked, hugging me tighter to his chest. I could tell that he wasn't looking forward to leaving for the week any more than I was at having him go.

"Alice, Jasper, Rose, any of you guys in? I'm a little restless and the night is still early," he asked, looking from one to the other.

"Alice and I are out. We have an early morning brunch with some friends," Jasper added.

"I'll bite. Out for just one though, I haven't been to my Pilates class all week and I really need to go tomorrow," Rose said before turning her attention back to Edward.

"Great job, by the way. Nice touch with the Rainbow Connection song. Not a dry eye in the place. I'll meet you in New York on Monday afternoon for your Letterman taping. Good to see you all. Emmett, now or never," Rose stated quickly before turning towards the exit. Emmett followed swiftly behind and I had to chuckle that he looked like a lonely dog following after his master.

"Bella, I need to grab a couple things from my dressing room and then we can head out." He squeezed my hand and led us off down a cramped hallway. I noticed that no one else followed us, but stayed where they were and continued to converse.

Edward quickly opened the door and the aromatic scent of roses filled the room. On the dressing table was the largest bouquet of roses I had ever seen. Edward looked back at me with a confused look on his face as he walked slowly towards the arrangement.

"Who's it from?" I asked, curious to know if I had competition, seeing as I didn't even bring him a dandelion.

Picking up the card, he immediately dropped it as if it were on fire.

"Edward?"

"Vic…. Victoria. She… she… said that she delivered them personally and was sorry that I wasn't here to accept them. Shit Bella, I…I have a restraining order against her. There is no way she should have been back here," he stammered, his hands shaking and reaching out for me.

"It's okay Edward; we'll go talk to security and call the police. We'll get to the bottom of this. I'm right here." I tried to sooth him by rubbing my hands over his arms. His shaking body felt so fragile when I pulled him into my embrace. I just stood there holding him, trying to think of what could have happened to shake this man so deeply.

**A/N**

_Okay – so that was the Benefit, what did you think? Please take 30 seconds & click the review button please?? I think I only heard from four of you last chapter – which makes me wonder what everyone is thinking about my story. So if you have a second, please review??? (Come on now, I'm begging ya!)_

_Just a heads up that the next chapter won't be out as quickly, it's not done being written and my weekend is shot already, so it will be at least 2 weeks if I can get my muse to whisper in my ear._

_Also – the inspiration for the song at the benefit was John Mayer's live rendition of __Free Fallin'__ . If you've never heard it, please listen to it. It's freaking amazing & I listened to it a ton while writing this chapter._


	9. Heal Over

**A/N – **

_Okay – here it is… sorry for the long wait, but you know, holidays & life just got in the way. _

_Disclaimer – Don't own anything, it all belongs to Stephanie Meyer._

_A huge thanks to my beta – __**Blackjacklily **__– Thanks for getting this back to me even after your computer crashed!! You rock._

_Thanks to my Twilighted Beta – __**Totoro **_

_Thanks to everyone who has put this on their alerts & favorites. It makes my day to see those come in to my e-mail box__**. **_

_**I got some really nice reviews last time and would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. It's a bit of a doozy!! Hang on to your bootstraps.**_

**Heal Over**

**BPOV**

"_Bella, you should go home with Alice and Jasper. I'm not sure how long I'll be. I'll give you a call later this week," Edward stated in a cold, robotic tone. _

Those were the last words he said to me on Saturday as he gave me a quick peck on the cheek and practically shoved me towards Alice and Jasper. To say that I was hurt by the gesture would have been a gross understatement. I had wanted to be the one to comfort him and yet he closed himself off and shut me out. I had seen the change in his demeanor all week when I watched the interviews that he was giving while in New York. He was irritated, aloof, and guarded when he spoke. News of the breach in security had travelled through the various media outlets and he was repeatedly asked the same questions about his stalker that he continually didn't discuss. It broke my heart to see him in such distress while I was over 3000 miles away from him.

He called me a few times while he was gone. They were brief, inconsequential conversations that were basically over before they started. He did confirm that we were still on for our date tonight. He was planning on picking me up at five thirty, but I thought I should drive over to his place in case I needed a quick getaway car. Knowing he was in flight, I texted him from work to let him know that I would arrive at his house around five thirty. I got a simple three word response, "See you then." As the day wore on, I was beginning to actually dread our date. How had things changed so much from me being ecstatic about our relationship to one of trepidation? Edward's reputation for being a recluse was widely known, but since I had met him, I only thought he was a little media shy. This week proved why he rarely gave interviews.

Getting ready had been a slight challenge as I wasn't sure if I should dress casual for the ride on his Indian he promised, or dressier. I decided on skinny jeans and a cute short sleeve top hoping that we could clear the air long enough to enjoy a sunset ride. If he had other plans for us, he should have spoken up sometime during the week.

The drive up the coast was pleasant with the cool ocean air blowing across my face and helping to cleanse my deep thoughts. Originally I had intended on discussing my past with him, but I figured it was a game time decision since I was unsure of what the evening was going to present me with.

**EPOV**

I knew that I had been pushing Bella away all week, but couldn't help it. I was trying to protect her the only way I knew how, but being back in Los Angeles seemed to have made me unable to keep her at arm's length. I was craving her like a drug addict. After treating her so coolly all week, I really wasn't sure what to expect tonight. I was planning on going to pick her up for our date but got a terse text message saying she would meet me here at five thirty instead. It was causing me some distress knowing that I screwed up once again in such a short time.

My time in New York went by agonizingly slow. I was distracted by thoughts of Victoria harming Bella to the point of insanity. I hadn't told Bella the entire contents of the card that was left with the flowers. At the bottom of the card, written in scrawled handwriting, was a warning, 'Stay with her and she's dead.' Those six words sent my emotions into a tailspin. How could I protect myself and her from this raving lunatic? On the plane ride to New York I had told Emmett about the card and somehow in his hung-over state he managed to give me some good advice. He was going to be my bodyguard until I went out on tour when I would have a security team. This would give Emmett some income while he was looking for a job and give me some peace of mind. He wasn't coming back to Los Angeles for another week, and I could only hope that things would be fine until he got here.

I had a mild panic attack before my Letterman appearance, but thankfully it passed while I was still in the green room and not on stage. I spoke with Dr. Banner as soon as I went back to my hotel room to try and work through some of my anxiety. He was of course appalled that I hadn't told Bella of the imminent threat that was made against her. He said that "she deserved to be aware of the situation so that she could handle it in the manner that she saw fit, instead of me making the rash decision without any input from her." The rational side of me knew that what he had said was the right way to go, but my logical mind wasn't really in control right now and all I knew was that I had to keep her safe. Regardless of the consequences.

My thoughts were interrupted when my intercom system buzzed. I hadn't even realized that it was five thirty already and that it must have been Bella.

"Hi Bella. Come on in." I said into the box on the wall.

Walking over to the door, I went outside and over to Bella's car. I opened her door as she stepped out, looking delicious in a pair of tight dark wash jeans and a lavender short sleeve shirt. Her hair was in casual waves, framing her beautiful features.

"Um, thanks," she said nervously, taking my hand as we walked in awkward silence into my house.

We both stood looking uncomfortably at one another from across my kitchen island until I had finally had enough of the stony silence.

"Bella, I need to apologize…" I started to say, nervously running my hands through my unkempt hair.

"Edward, I am beyond confused. Your hot and cold emotions are making me feel like I'm watching a tennis match. Can you just spill it?" she asked with a caustic edge to her tone.

"Well… first let me apologize for being so aloof this past week. I don't handle fear and anxiety well and I reverted to some bad old habits of mine. I shouldn't have pushed you away without any explanation. I missed you horribly while I was away and trying to stay away from you took even more energy out of me than the anxiety did." I looked over to see her watching me warily with one hand on her hip and the other holding on to the countertop with a steely grip. "Second, I need to explain something to you… I didn't tell you the entire contents of the note that came with the flowers." I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves at the mere mention of last Saturday's events. "The note had a threat directed at you," I said quickly in one breath while looking at the countertop, unable to look at her. I felt ashamed at keeping this from her and for being the cause of her potential danger.

"What?" she screeched, looking at me with a shocked expression that I couldn't blame her for.

"The note. It said that if I stayed with you that your life would be in danger," I mumbled, guiltremorse overwhelming me. I longed to hold her and tell her everything would be okay, but I knew that we needed the space to finish the conversation.

"Is that why you pulled away this week? Did you think that would protect me?" she accused, looking furious. "What would have happened to me this week with you gone if she had tried something? I was a sitting duck all week. You could have had the courtesy to warn me about this." She was pacing like a caged cat in the zoo, her fists balled up at her sides. "I don't even know what the fuck this woman looks like and you leave me here defenseless? What were you thinking?" she roared, slamming her hands on the counter with a venomous look in her eyes.

"Shit, I know. I'm sorry Bella. I should have told you everything before, but it isn't something that I like to talk about." I sighed and looked up to see Bella still standing with her hands braced on the counter, looking at me with fury in her eyes.

"Edward, we all have skeletons in our closet. How about you pour me a big ass glass of wine and you tell me everything. From the beginning…" she said, the rage bubbling up under her sudden calm demeanor.

I really didn't want to have this conversation. I wanted to be on my motorcycle with her legs wrapped around me, holding tight as we rode off into the sunset. Knowing there was no way around the conversation, I did as she asked and poured her a drink while I settled into the stool next to hers.

"You remember the woman who called into your show, Victoria?" I asked, turning my body to face her head on.

"Mmmhmm"

She wasn't going to make this easy on me and I suppose I didn't really deserve it so I continued.

"Well, she somehow became obsessed with me before my single even came out. I have been getting fan letters from her for almost a year. Most were relatively innocent, telling me how much she loved my music and how attractive she thought I was. I honestly didn't really think much about it until about three months ago when they started getting more and more… um, suggestive and stalkerish? I showed the letters to Rosalie and Felix and they said to keep them in case I needed to get the police involved. Up to this point the letters hadn't been really threatening, so I was still naïve enough to think that it was just a crush from some fan. I stopped even opening them at all and didn't realize that they were starting to become violent until I came home from dinner one night and found this tall, red headed woman lying naked on my kitchen counter. She picked the lock of my condo and decided to wait for me. She pulled a large kitchen knife on me and started feeling me up while telling me that we belonged together." I had to take a deep breath to try and calm the panic I could feel welling up inside me. Remembering how she ran her hands over my chest and licked my jaw as she tried to seduce me sent shuddering quakes though my body.

"It's okay Edward. Keep going." Bella's hand covered my own and gave me a small reassuring smile.

"I managed to get the knife away from her and call 911 before she had a chance to really do any real damage. There's been a restraining order against her since then and I guess her jail time must be up for her to be calling and sending me flowers." I had left out a lot of what happened in the condo before I got the knife away from her, but so far no one aside from Dr. Banner knew about that. I didn't even put it in the police report for fear of it going public. I just wasn't ready to show Bella the weak side of me yet. _Maybe someday_. I thought. "So that's about it. I really am sorry that I didn't tell you before this and that I reacted so poorly this week. Can you please forgive me?" I begged, looking up into her eyes.

"Edward, we are quite a pair." She commented cryptically, before pulling me into a hug. "We'll figure this out. Just stop withholding info and we'll be good. Trust me okay? How about that ride you promised me?" I could tell she was changing the subject, not wanting to discuss it further at the moment. I wasn't sure what had caused her to change the topic, but felt like maybe the night wasn't a total loss after all.

**BPOV**

Straddling the back of Edward's motorcycle was getting me all hot and bothered. The hum of the engine and my hands wrapped tightly around Edward's firm torso was making me resolved to tell him the truth tonight. After our conversation earlier it was even more urgent that I do so soon. I couldn't be hypocritical and expect him to tell me all his dirty secrets without spilling some of my own.

I squeezed him tighter as my thoughts drifted back to earlier in the evening. I knew that I had let him off the hook much easier than I should have, but he had this power over me. It made me more rational and understanding than I would normally have been in the past. Perhaps it was just that I had matured since I last had an argument with a loved one. All I really knew was that whenever I was with Edward I felt safe, secure and loved.

_Wait a second… loved?_ My inner monologue decided to pipe in.

Yes, loved. I felt wanted and even needed by Edward. It had been over four years since I let myself be loved by anyone and now that I had a taste of it, I craved it like a drug. I felt like one of those needy women that they showcase on Jerry Springer with my overwhelming need to be with Edward in spite of all the crap that we seem to keep enduring.

We were zooming down the PCH, heading towards Edward's favorite little seafood place by the water. I was looking forward to spending some quiet time with him and catching up after our tumultuous week apart. I hoped that our brief conversation this evening could be put aside so that we could pick up where we left off earlier the week prior.

I watched the scenery slow down as Edward pulled off into a dirt parking lot on the right side of the road. A small building with the large sign, Neptune's Net, sat across from a near deserted stretch of beach. Helping me off his bike, Edward pulled a baseball cap out of one of the saddle bags before switching it with the helmet he had on. His eyes twinkled with childlike enthusiasm as he grabbed my hand.

"Bella, I've been coming here since I was a starving student. It's rough around the edges, but the food and the view are well worth it. I am going to suggest something to you that you can take or leave." His eyes met mine looking serious for a moment.

"I'm hoping that we can enjoy our time here tonight, but I recommend you bring the helmet with you. With the social networking sites these days, I usually have about thirty minutes before my location has been outed and I'm surrounded by the paparazzi. So if I mention that you may want to put your helmet on, it's only because I want to protect your identity, not because I'm ashamed of being photographed with you."

Nodding in agreement, I knew he was trying to keep my picture out of the weekly rags so that I could continue in my little anonymous world for a while longer.

Walking side by side we headed into the restaurant, wandering past tanks of fresh fish, crabs and clams.

"See anything you'd like?" He asked flirtatiously tugging me behind him as he walked up to the counter to order our food.

"You know I do." I winked returning his sly smile.

We both ordered our food and went in search for a secluded table. Sitting in the far corner of the patio facing the beach, Edward pulled out my chair so that I was facing the rest of the patio and he was sitting facing the parking lot. I knew he was hoping that by putting his back to other people he might be able to enjoy a night in peace.

"This place is great, thanks for sharing it with me."

"The pleasure is all mine. I'm glad we're finally out and about." He grabbed my hand and pulled it into the middle of the table where he began running his thumb soothingly across it's back.

"So tell me what you did all week?" I asked, curious about what happened aside from what I saw during his interviews. I watched him wince at the question, but I threw him an apologetic smile hoping he would know that I'd forgiven him and was just interested in knowing how he was doing.

"Well, aside from running around from interview to interview and worrying about your welfare, not a whole lot. I hung out with Emmett a little bit and worried about your welfare." He looked up at me and grinned a little at the last mention of my welfare. "Oh, I forgot to tell you that Emmett is going to be my bodyguard when he moves here next week. After the scare with Victoria, we decided that it would be in both our interests for him to help me out."

"Wait, so Emmett is going to be your bodyguard?" I couldn't hide the amusement in my voice.

"Yes, why is that amusing?" He shot me a confused look.

"Sorry, it's just that Emmett seems a bit… well irresponsible from what you've told me, it just seems like an interesting choice is all. " Edward's face didn't share my amusement at all and I knew I needed to change my tone before he got any more upset. "I'm sure he'll be really professional when it comes to your safety. He is a good EMT after all right?" I said quickly.

"I'm sure he'll be fine. Just him being around should make some people weary, but I do appreciate what you're insinuating. He is a bit of a large child isn't he?" he teased a little bit. "Emmett is serious about two things, his family and his job. The rest of the time… well… his wiring gets a bit screwy."

"So you mean he thinks with his dick?" I blurted out without thinking.

Edward nearly spit out his food at my comment, but replied, "Um, yes, he thinks with his dick. Actually it's almost as if he uses it as a compass." He smiled back at me and watched me laugh at his response.

"So Edward, do you ever think with your dick?" Good god, where was my verbal filter? I could feel the blush head north up my face after I blurted that out.

He just looked over at me with an amused grin on his face . "Sometimes, but only the small decisions. The rest I leave to my head or my heart." He grinned looking smug.

"Really? So what kind of small decisions?" Wait, was I flirting?

"Just things like what boxers I should wear today. You know he should have a say in that one, since his comfort is of utmost importance. Sometimes he just likes to butt his head in where it doesn't belong…"

Suddenly a young man appeared at the side of our table. "Oh my God, are you Edward Masen?"

"Um, yes…" Edward answered awkwardly, looking a bit uncomfortable about our intrusion.

"Can you sign this napkin for me?" The man asked, looking somewhat embarrassed to be disrupting our private dinner.

"Ah, sure. Who should I make it out to?"

"Can you sign it to Peter please?

"Here you go Peter. Take care." Edward said as politely as he could, although I could tell he was irritated.

"Thanks Edward!" the man called out over his shoulder as he walked towards the table he was sitting at.

"Now what were we talking about before we were so rudely interrupted?"

"I hate to tell you, but I don't think that was your only fan in the building," I teased, seeing a group of teenage girls huddled together, giggling and pointing to where we were sitting.

"Ugh…" he groaned. "Are you about done? I'm sorry, this isn't what I had planned for our evening. Perhaps we can dig up some dessert at my house and hang out on the patio around the fire pit?"

"Yep, I'm done. I'd rather spend it alone with you anyhow. Ready?" I held out my hand for him so that we could leave before the gaggle of girls could head him off.

Walking out towards the parking lot, Edward nodded his head and said a quick hello to the group of girls staring at him. They all squealed with delight at the miniscule attention that he paid to them.

"That was very sweet of you Edward. I think you made their year." I teased, giving him a little hip bump.

He gave me a sly grin and swapped out his ball cap with his helmet. After putting mine on, he helped me onto the bike.

"Alright Bella, hang on," he said before taking off back down the PCH towards home.

My heartbeat started to increase knowing that I was resolved to tell Edward about my accident tonight. I was craving his touch and knew the only way we'd ever make it past the kissing stage was for me to come clean about everything, and for the first time in almost five years, I actually wanted to.

We were flying down the Pacific Coast Highway and I was lost in my thoughts and the beauty of the setting sun when Edward unexpectedly brought the bike to a screeching halt. Looking up, I saw a pair of eyes with a look of absolute terror in them. Suddenly, all I could hear was the swishing of my blood in my ears as my heart rate shot up and my breathing became labored. I clung to Edward for life as those eyes haunted me once again. _No, no this can't be happening again_, I thought to myself before falling behind a curtain of blackness.

"Bella…. Bella honey, please open your eyes…" I could hear the sweet, velvety voice trying to pull me from the fog that I was currently under.

"Sweetie, please you're scaring me… Can you open your eyes?" Edward whispered again, trying to pull me from the depths of my brain.

"Edward?" I asked, still unwilling to open my eyes. My memories wouldn't allow me to open them for fear of the horrors I had already witnessed once in my life.

"It's me, can you open your eyes. You're okay…" I felt warmth encircle me as I slowly let my lids flutter open.

"Hi," I said shyly, seeing that I was now sitting on his couch.

"God Bella you scared me. Are you okay?" He pulled me back into his warm embrace, waiting for my answer.

"Uh… I think so. What happened?" I pulled away, trying to look into his eyes to figure out what happened to the last few minutes or hours of my life.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"I remember enjoying our ride back to your house and watching the sunset when you stopped suddenly… Why did you stop?" I asked, cocking my head and trying to remember any more information.

"A dumb ass surfer thought it would be a good time to try and cross the PCH and must not have seen us. I stopped suddenly to avoid hitting him. I felt you tighten your grip, so once he was out of the way, I rode us back here. I only noticed something was wrong when you didn't let go as I tried to punch in my security code. That's when I turned around and lifted your shield and saw that your eyes were tightly shut. When I tried to talk to you, you didn't respond. I walked the bike inside the gate and carried you inside. I've been trying to get you to come around for about ten minutes or so. What's going on? What happened?" He looked at me with such concern and worry it made my heart melt to know that when I told him why I had a panic attack that he may run away in terror.

Sighing, I asked him, "Edward, do you think you could get me some water and a glass of brandy if you have any? It's a bit of a long story and I'm a little thirsty."

"Of course, but I'm only giving you one glass for now since I know how you got when you and Alice had your fight and I'd like to hear everything without you being drunk if that's okay?" He rubbed my shoulder, letting me know that he wasn't trying to rile me up, but really wanted to know about what had happened to me.

"Thanks," I weakly responded, trying to get up the nerve that I knew I would need in a few short minutes.

I fidgeted on the sofa for a few moments while Edward was gone, trying to arrange my thoughts in a coherent manner. I tucked my legs up under me and leaned into the throw pillow while Edward walked back into the room.

"Here you go. You're sure you're okay?" he asked, looking dubious but setting the two glasses down on the coffee table in front of me.

"I'm doing okay… Have a seat, there's a lot I need to tell you," I said, gesturing towards the other side of the couch. I watched him sit down and turn to face me but his expression was blank. He was patiently waiting for me to continue.

"First, let me thank you for taking care of me today. I had a panic attack and you helped me a lot by just being here, so thanks." I held my hand up in an attempt to silence him before he could speak. "Can you not say anything right now? I have a lot to say and I think it will be easier if I just get it out all at once. You can ask me anything afterwards, okay?" He just nodded looking confused.

"I guess I should start at the beginning. Um… well… you remember I mentioned having only really dated one person, right?" He nodded but said nothing. "Well, Jake and I started dating in November of my junior year in college. He was a frat brother to my roommate's boyfriend and they sort of introduced us. For winter break I headed back to Forks and he went home to Portland. By then we had just started getting pretty hot and heavy and we were basically inseparable when we weren't busy, which at the time felt like never. I was in the middle of doing an internship with KOMO and Jake was the star wide receiver for UW…" I paused briefly, knowing that I was getting into details that he probably didn't need to know, but it seemed as good a place as any to start.

"I went home to spend Christmas with Charlie. He worked the entire time I was home and I just really missed being in Seattle and being with Jake. A few days after Christmas, I got a call from Jake saying that he and his frat brothers were throwing a three day New Year's bash and wanted to know if I could come back to Seattle early for it and then spend the rest of the week with him. Since we both weren't planning on doing anything until we were back at school, it seemed like a good plan to spend time with one another before the semester kept us busy. When my dad came back from work that night, I asked him if he could drive me back to Seattle in the next couple of days when he wasn't working so that I could spend New Years with Jake. He grumbled a little bit, but said that he got off work at three the next day and could drive me up after he got home then. He stomped off and we didn't really talk about it again. So I packed up my things and waited for him to get home from work the next day so we could leave." I took a deep breath and glanced over at Edward who was raptly paying attention but still looking somewhat lost as to where I was going. I could feel the heaviness of what I was about to tell him weighing on my shoulders and knew that my posture was one of defeat. I felt Edward's hand squeeze mine encouragingly and looked back into his warm pools of jade, filled with compassion and a longing for what I could only imagine was for the truth.

_Flashback_

"_Bella, I'm home. You ready to go? The weather is supposed to turn bad and I'd like to get back before it gets too ugly." Dad shouted from the kitchen._

_Running down the stairs with my bags, I replied, "Yep, I'm good. Let's go."_

_Getting into the cruiser we took off down the road and headed towards the freeway. We had been driving for a little over an hour when suddenly his scanner went of,f stating that there was a large multi car accident on the road up ahead of us. _

"_I'm going to get off at the next exit and take some back roads to get us around this mess," he said curtly. _

_Looking out the window I saw that the rain had turned to sleet and that roads were turning slick on the back road that my dad had just turned us on to._

"_The road looks a little icy."_

"_We'll be fine." _

"_Dad, is everything okay? You've been kind of short with me." _

_He looked over at me with a menacing glance. "I've been short?" he snorted. "Bella, you decided to go back to school after spending only two of your four weeks with me. How should I feel but slighted?" _

"_Dad, you've been working. It's not like you've spent any time with me anyhow," I huffed, crossing my arms in front of me, frustrated that he was just now bringing this up._

"_You know that the holidays are the busiest for me, I couldn't take off and you knew it." He shouted with his hands clenched firmly around the steering wheel._

"_So why are you so shocked that I'm leaving early if you're just going to work the entire time I'm home? What else am I supposed to do in this stupid town?"_

"_Goddamn it Bella, you know how it works. You've been living here long enough to know. It would have been nice to have been asked if you COULD go back to Seattle rather than be told." His fury was boiling over and I could see him starting to tremble with a temper that I rarely got to see._

"_I've been bored out of my mind…" I stopped in mid sentence when I saw that my dad had almost completely turned in his seat to look right at me, his face flamed red from exasperation._

"_If you had ASKED, I would have told you that I had taken vacation time for the last week and a half you were supposed to be here to make it up to you. Once New Year's was out of the way, I was all yours…"_

"_DAD!!!! Watch the road!!!" I screamed as I saw a large six point buck standing in the middle of our lane, his large brown eyes staring into mine as he stood majestically where he was while our car rushed towards him._

_It was as if time suddenly stood still. Dad slammed on the brakes and the car slid into a tailspin on the slick road, sending the car into a telephone pole before it careened over the embankment and rolled down into a gully beside the road. _

_I wasn't sure how long I had been unconscious as I surveyed the damage around us. My head was pounding from having slammed against the window that was now shattered. I could feel the blood oozing down my face from what I was sure were tiny glass fragments imbedded into my skull. I looked over to see that my dad was still unconscious and was cocooned into the seat by both the smashed in door and the steering column. My subconscious mind kept telling me to flee, but in the haze of my injuries, I couldn't figure out why. _

"_Dad…" I rasped._

"_DADDY!!" I called once more._

_I could see his eyes begin to flutter, but he made no move to turn his head to look in my direction._

"_Daddy… are you okay?" I wailed trying to get the seatbelt undone from around me. Wincing in pain, I realized that my right arm was broken somewhere as I couldn't move it without agony shooting through it._

"_Bella, calm down. Are you okay?" he whispered, only turning his eyes in my direction._

"_Daddy, I'm okay, but the seatbelt is stuck. Where are you hurt?" I cried out, unable to remain calm._

"_Honey, you need to do what I tell you right now, okay?"_

"_Daddy…"_

"_Bella, I'm serious. Open the glove box if you can. There's a tool in there that has a hammer to break out the window and a blade at the other end that will cut through the seatbelt. Use that now." He sounded so calm and collected as he gave me these directions. _

_I fumbled a bit trying to open the glove compartment, but after a few minutes, I was finally able to free myself from the seatbelt._

"_Okay, now Bella, you need to get out of the car. I'm trapped, but you need to get out now. I smell smoke and I need you to try and open the door. If it doesn't budge, then break the rest of the window out and climb out."_

"_DADDY… I can't leave you here. Let me try to get your seatbelt…"_

"_Bella, look at me!" he commanded. "You need to get out now!" _

_I could see the flames rising from the hood of the car and the smoke billowing around us, but was I was still too focused on trying to get my dad out any way I could._

"_Damn it Bella… the car is going to explode. I had a full tank of gas before we left. GO!" he shouted with as much force as his broken body could handle._

_I looked into his pleading brown eyes and turned to try the handle on my door. It was stuck, but I felt it start to give slightly. I looked back over at my dad who only whispered, "go." Throwing my injured shoulder into the door it creaked open slowly just as the car burst into flames, throwing me out onto the cold ground. I woke up to my back on fire, melting my clothes to my skin. The acrid scent permeated my nose, not realizing at the time that it was being caused by my own flesh. I could hear sirens in the distance as I rolled over, trying to stop the searing pain that felt as if it covered my entire body. _

_I woke up three days later in Seattle General to a shaved head, a broken arm, ankle, three broken ribs, and a back that would need several skin grafts and months to heal._

"Bella, God, I'm so sorry you had to go through that…" I heard Edward say when I realized that I had finally finished the basics of my story and was now sitting in a sobbing heap in Edwards lap. His hands were softly stroking my hair, trying to soothe away the horrible memory of that night.

"Shhh Bella, it's okay, I'm right here." He continued rubbing my back, trying to help calm me down.

"Ed…Edward," I hiccupped. "I killed my dad. I should have stayed and he would still be alive…"I bawled.

"Bella, shhh…please…"

Edward held me until my tears slowed and my breath evened out. He didn't try to pacify my guilt. He just held me until my exhausted eyes began to droop.

"Will you stay here tonight? Let me hold you?" He whispered a plea, as if he needed comforting more than I did.

I nodded and felt him pick me up and carry me up to his room. Setting me gently on his bed, he stepped away and pulled out a T-shirt and boxers for me to wear and told me he was going to get ready in the bathroom. Quickly changing, I pulled the covers up over me and snuggled deeply into his comfortable bed.

_~~ZZZZZ~~_

"Happy Birthday to you…. Happy Birthday to you…"

_Who the hell is singing and why am I so freaking hot?_ I thought sleepily to myself.

I rolled over and was immediately met with a strong, chiseled chest and the smell of leather and fresh cotton.

"Mmm… good morning Bella…" Edward murmured into my hair. I snuggled in closer when suddenly his door swung open with a loud bang. "Happy Birthday dear Edward, Happy Birthday to…. Oh dear!!"

"Oh Shit!" I heard Edward exclaim before the door to his room slammed shut.

**A/N**

_So now you know a bit about both of their pasts – what did you think? Press the button and let me know what you thought. The next chapter will be the first of the lemons – just to warn you all now. I know it's taken 10 chapters to get there, but it had to build, so thanks to everyone who kept reading this and giving it a shot. Hopefully it was/is worth it!_


	10. Birthday Wishes

**A/N**

_First let me tell you that this chapter is currently unbeta'd – so please forgive me for the mistakes you will find below. I'm not sure exactly where my beta is, but I'm assuming that R/L has just gotten in the way. I'll let you know in the A/N at the end why I'm posting it like this instead of waiting._

_Disclaimer – Don't own anything; it all belongs to Stephanie Meyer._

_This story is rated M for a reason, and finally this chapter is the reason behind it. If you want to avoid, it's the last third of EPOV at the end. You won't miss anything really pertinent to the story. _

_Thanks to my Twilighted Beta – __**Totoro **_

_Please check out the A/N at the end as it's important! Thanks!!!_

* * *

**Birthday Wishes**

"Um… Edward, was that who I thought it was?" Bella sleepily asked me.

"Yeah, pretty sure. Stay here, I'll be right back," I replied while getting out of bed and pulling on some fleece pants over my boxers and putting on a T-shirt.

I watched her snuggle deeper into my bed and grab my pillow and clutch it tightly. It almost appeared as if she was inhaling it, but shook that thought off as silly.

I made my way slowly downstairs to see my Mom cleaning up the kitchen from the mess she had made, the tray of coffee and pancakes still sitting on my island.

"Hi Mom," I sheepishly said, coming behind her and giving her a big hug.

"Happy Birthday sweetie. I'm so sorry to intrude. I didn't know that you and Bella had gotten so… um…close…" She leaned down and gave me a maternal kiss on the cheek before hugging me gently.

"We aren't really…We had kind of a rough night… She told me about the death of her dad and she was pretty upset. I wanted to comfort her, so I asked her to stay," I told my mom, but most of it came out sounding like a question.

"hmmmm… I'm glad you were able to do that for her." She paused and then turned around to look at me. "I'm sorry to have barged in. I just thought since I was in town I would surprise you with breakfast in bed. I shouldn't have assumed you wouldn't have had company. I'm sorry honey," she murmured as she went back to puttering around the kitchen putting things away.

I sat down on a stool at the island and asked a question that had been lingering in my mind since last night's discussion. "Mom? Did you know anything about what happened to Chief Swan?"

She stopped what she was doing and turned to face me. "Only what your dad told me when he came home from work that night. Just that he died in a car crash and that Bella was injured. He was pretty tight lipped about the whole thing. I'm sorry. Maybe you should ask your father?" she said before hugging me. "You really like this girl don't you?"

"Always have mom… I always have…"

"I remember when you used to stare at that picture all day. I was so glad when your brother got you into writing music to help with the heartache," she mentioned, while nodding towards the picture on my wall.

"I'm just trying not to mess it up now that I've found her."

"How about I don't keep you any longer? Why don't you go back to bed with that lovely girl you have upstairs. There's coffee made and pancake mixed up in the refrigerator should you want to make those when you get up. I'll see you at three. Have a good day," she smirked and winked as she grabbed her purse and headed out for the door.

"Thanks mom. Love you."

I headed back upstairs to see that Bella hadn't moved an inch from where I left her. Her brown hair was splayed across her pillow and she was still clutching my pillow, burying her face deeply into it.

I slipped the pajama bottoms and t-shirt off and tried to gently extricate the pillow from Bella's grasp. Sliding into bed, I pulled her into my chest, relishing in the feel and scent of her skin. She mumbled something in her sleep, but snuggled closer laying her hand across my heart and burrowing her head into the nook of my shoulder.

When I awoke some time later I noticed that I was now alone and grasping the pillow that Bella had laid on. I looked around but she wasn't in my room. I hurriedly got out of bed and put back on the clothes from earlier and went in search for her, hoping that she hadn't decided to run off before I had a chance to talk to her more.

After making it down the stairs, I saw her curled up in one of my wingback chairs staring at the empty fireplace lost in thought. Not wanting to scare her, I called to her from the kitchen, "Bella, did you get some coffee?"

"Yep, I'm good, thanks," she replied, turning her head slightly to smile at me.

I exhaled in relief that she seemed to be in good spirits and went to pour myself some coffee. It was then that I noticed that she was clutching my beloved UCLA mug between her two dainty hands taking a long drawn out sip. For once I actually didn't mind someone using that cup. I looked up in my cupboard to see what else I had. After filling up my mug I made my way over to where she was sitting and leaned down to give her a kiss.

"Mmmm.... I like the way you say good morning," she teased.

"I'm glad you're still here, I was worried you had to go home."

"Nope, I've got some time before I need to go and get some things done. Sit with me?" she asked softly, nodding her head to the chair next to her.

"Good. I must say I like waking up with you here," I smiled and took a big gulp from my coffee.

"Happy Birthday Edward. How's it feel to be a quarter of a century?"

"About the same as it did yesterday only you're here with me, so it feels pretty damn good," I winked and noticed that she had returned to looking at the fireplace.

"Edward, where did you get this picture from? It's stunning." she asked, pointing towards the large photograph that hung above my mantle.

"Actually I took it." I paused to see if she had any recollection whatsoever about it.

"Really? When? The scenery looks so… familiar…"

"Bella, I took that on the day of our senior class photo. Don't you recognize the person in the picture?"

"What do you mean?" She stood up and looked closer at the oversized photo.

"Edward? Is that me?" she finally asked after careful inspection.

Standing to join her, I smiled and whispered "It's always been you..."

"How? I don't remember this ever being taken?" she said, turning to look at me.

I grasped her hands gently and began to tell her the story of the photo.

"I was taking pictures for the yearbook after we had our class picture. I looked up and saw you sitting on the bleachers looking off into the distance. You had your head resting on your arms and you just looked so… far away. The light from the sunset was hitting the dark clouds behind you and your eyes were lit up and the way the sun hit you, it appeared as if you were an angel…." I could see so many different emotions fleeting in her eyes as I told her the story behind it.

"I remember that day. I was waiting for my dad to pick me up because my truck was in the shop."

"I took the picture with a telephoto lens; I was standing a ways away, too shy to actually talk to you…"

"God, it's so beautiful. You are a man of many talents Edward." She turned and snuggled into my chest as we both just stood looking back at the large photo.

"You know this was the inspiration for my song _Brown Eyes_, right?" I pulled away slightly to look down at her lovely face.

"No! Wow, so I was your first song? You never cease to surprise me."

"Yeah, Emmett got tired of my moping around the house pining for you and suggested I do something constructive with my angst." I smiled down at her and tugged her into sitting with me in the chair.

"I'm so sorry I didn't know you back then…" she whispered into my chest.

"Bella, can I ask you something? About your accident?" I felt her tense up at my question but she conceded with a nod, so I continued. "What happened after? I mean what happened with Jake, and how did you finish up school and end up in Denver?" I rattled the questions off more quickly than I intended, more nervous about the answer than I thought.

"Wow… you want all the nitty gritty dirty details?" She squeezed me and looked up into my eyes. She looked so broken and all I could think of was how to build her back up and make her whole again. "Only if you want to. I'd like to know, but you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, no… I want you to know, it's just a little hard…" She was clutching me and burrowing her face into my chest.

"Why don't you tell me one thing at a time? Baby steps, right?" I said soothingly while running my hand through her hair.

"Okay. I'll try. Um… well I was in a really very angry and bad place when I woke up from the coma. I sulked and didn't want to talk or deal with anything like a petulant child. Jake tried to console me but I really just shut myself off. It only took about two weeks for him to finally leave me. My mom flew up from Florida, but she too was of no comfort to me. She stuck around for about a month, but I really was awful and told her to get the hell out of my life. I was just so angry… I can't really describe the weight of guilt that I was holding inside of me. It was all consuming. Your dad tried to get me to talk to a therapist, but I would just sit silently whenever I would go into a session…"

"My dad?" _What did my dad have to do with this? I know he worked there during the time she would have been a patient, but how could he have not told me that the girl of my dreams was under his care? _I thought angrily to myself.

"Hu? Oh, yeah, your dad was my main physician when I was there. I really pulled the privacy card when I was there. I didn't want anyone to know what had happened to me. I sort of just wanted to disappear, so I hid in that hospital. Your dad wasn't allowed to say anything because I specifically forbid him to."

"So aside from your mom and Jake, no one knew where you were?" I pulled her closer to me not fully understanding how someone would choose to go through such a tragedy by themselves.

"Pretty much. I mean, Jake mentioned it to some of my college friends, but I wouldn't allow any visitors aside from my mom & Jake.

"Wow, I just can't believe you did that alone…" I murmured into her hair.

"I've always been stubborn, so put me in an extreme situation like that, not only was I grieving the loss of my dad, but I was burned badly, in extreme amounts of pain and I had no hair. I just didn't want anyone to see me as this vulnerable weak child that I felt like. I haven't talked to my mom or Jake since then. Actually I haven't been back to Forks since it happened either. My dad's lawyer came to me with the insurance and will papers. I told him to hire someone to clean out the house; to save any knickknacks or pictures and to put them into storage, but to give all the furniture and clothes to Goodwill. I wanted nothing to do with the past. So I have a few boxes sitting in a prepaid storage facility in Port Angeles that I've never actually been to. The house sold relatively soon after it was put on the market. I took the money from my dad's insurance and the house and put most of it in savings and the rest I bought a small apartment near campus, so I wouldn't have to have a roommate. I went back to school that summer and took as full a course load as possible to try and graduate on time. I switched my major from TV broadcast journalism to radio, for obvious reasons…" She sighed and took a deep breath before continuing. I didn't want to interrupt her train of thought, so did the only thing I could and hold her tightly in my arms trying to console her from the dark memories I was forcing her to confront.

"I had pushed all of my friends away, so any time I had outside of class and studying was focused on finding a job anywhere outside of Washington. I got lucky that the station in Denver hired me not too long after graduation. I packed up and sold my apartment and moved to Denver the summer after graduation. It was while I was working that I realized how little I had actually dealt with my guilt and grief. We did an on location gig at one of the hospitals there and suddenly I felt the desperate need to volunteer my time to help others. At first I couldn't work in the burn units, so I stuck to mainly the pediatric ward by reading and playing games with the kids with cancer. One day they were short staffed in the burn unit and asked me if I could help them out for the day. It was then that I knew what my penance was going to be. The rest is history…" She blew out a gust of air as she ended her story. Rubbing my chest lightly with her short nails, she finally turned her head up to look into my moist eyes and said, "I've never told anyone all of that. Alice only knew about the accident, but we never talked about this…" She leaned up and kissed me softly.

"Thank you for trusting me with that," I said, while returning her kiss. "Did you ever go back into therapy after you left the hospital? I just can't imagine how you dealt with all of that on your own."

"No, I just sort of always had the mindset that I needed to put my big girl panties on and just deal with it. My natural stubborn nature didn't help with that either." She smirked and I could see in her eyes she was trying to lighten the mood and probably change the subject.

"Okay, well you know it's never too late right?" I kissed her right behind her ear but was interrupted by her stomach grumbling loudly.

"Looks like we need to feed someone," I teased, trying to lighten the mood. Nudging her gently off my lap I asked, "Do you like pancakes?"

"Mmm… especially if you're cooking." She grinned and took my hand as we walked back towards the kitchen.

We made our way to the kitchen and had a nice breakfast from the pancakes my mom had already mixed up for us. All too soon it was time for Bella to head home and get her day started.

"Alright, I better head home. I need to get some things done around the house before tonight."

I leaned in and kissed her softly before whispering, "Bella, stay with me again tonight? I loved waking up with you in my arms. Please? For my birthday?" I unabashedly begged. I could see the smirk appear on her lips as she leaned in and nibbled on my earlobe.

"Well, when you beg so nicely, how can I resist?" she teased. I growled in response, feeling my cock spring to life.

"Mmm… I'll pick you up at five thirty then?" Kissing her passionately before tucking her into her car.

"See you later."

I wandered back into my house after she drove away daydreaming about holding a naked Bella tight to my chest and ravishing her silly. I had a few hours to kill before my mother came by to get ready for my birthday dinner party.

Deciding that I needed to go for a quick run to work out some of my excessive sexual tension, I changed clothes and drove up to Will Rogers State Park. I like to run up the trail and take in the beautiful view of the Pacific from the top. After a punishing run, I made it home to see that my mom had already arrived.

"Hi sweetie, how was your morning?"

"It was really nice. Thanks for the pancakes, they were delicious." I winked and headed upstairs to take a quick shower. My run didn't quite quell my need for some relief. I was looking forward to having a little shower time with my beautiful Bella and the 'big guy'.

**BPOV**

I had been back at Edward's house for almost an hour and my nerves were still buzzing. He had picked me up and brought me back to a house filled with his parents and a few close friends. I was still mortified about being discovered in Edward's bed by his mother this morning and I wished that Carlisle would stop looking at me with eyes that knew all my dirty secrets. From the corner of the room Rosalie was scowling at me when I felt Edward's hand reach around my waist as he nuzzled my neck.

"How's the most beautiful woman in the room doing?"

"I'm okay," I sighed, lying instead of telling him how on edge I felt amongst a room full of relative strangers. "How's the birthday boy?"

"I'm better now that I have you in my arms again," he whispered into my ear, brushing his nose against my sensitive neck.

"I can't even look your mother in the eye Edward, how am I going to survive dinner?" I asked playfully, knowing that Edward would just tell me that it wasn't a big deal for the fortieth time since it happened.

"Baby, she's just happy that I'm happy. You need to stop worrying." He nuzzled further into my neck before we heard his name being called out.

"Edward, come on. You owe me a game of pool. I can't let your last win stand without a rematch." Some friend of Edward's whose name I couldn't remember, shouted from the game room up to him.

"Do you mind if I play one quick game with Kurt? I kicked his ass pretty bad the last time we played and I have a feeling he wants some vengeance."

"Nope, go on. I'll see if your mom needs help with something." He gave me a quick peck on the cheek before jogging down to the other room shouting back at Kurt that he was going to 'own him' or something or other. I took a moment to stare at the beautiful photo of me once again before I felt someone watching me. Turning my head, I saw that Esme was standing a few feet away with an amused smirk on her face. I could feel my blush start to betray my mortification over this morning and ogling a picture of myself. How self absorbed could I seem?

"Bella, I'm so glad you could come tonight," Esme commented, before coming to stand beside me facing the fireplace.

"I wouldn't miss Edward's big day for the world. Was there anything I can help you with in the kitchen?" I turned to look at her, but saw only her profile as she was deep in thought looking at the same picture I was only moments ago.

"No, no… everything is good. Just waiting for it to finish up…" I saw her turn to face me with a look of remorse in her eyes. "I wanted to apologize about this morning. I shouldn't have presumed that Edward was alone. I am so rarely in the same place as he is for his birthday that I thought I would surprise him. Well, I did, but it wasn't exactly the effect I was looking for…" She chuckled softly, looking at me wistfully before continuing. "Edward's my baby. He was such an introverted child. So smart. Too smart for his age sometimes… He was always a bit of a loner. It broke my heart to see him so miserable in school. After he took this picture, he would spend hours staring at it up in his room. Not doing or saying anything. Just staring, as if he wished it was a postcard he could just step into and walk off into the sunset." She nodded at the photo of me and looked down to see if I was grasping what she was telling me.

"You were the never ending crush. Carlisle and I kept thinking that he would find someone else to think about and he would snap out of the funk that he was in. It wasn't until Emmett suggested he try his hand at composing music that he worked himself through it."

"Um, Mrs. Cullen, I honestly didn't know he liked me back then….. I really wish I did…" I started to say only to be cut off mid-thought.

"I know dear, he was very good at pining for you from afar. When you both graduated and he moved to Los Angeles for school, he started to open up more and make friends. But he never talked about girls. He had grown into his looks and I knew that he was handsome, even beyond a mother's eye. I think he's always been holding out for you…"

"He mentioned that he hasn't really dated anyone to me."

"You know he's in love with you right? I know it's not my place to speak for him, but he does." Her confession threw me a bit and I looked at her with a shocked expression. We had only been dating for a couple of weeks, yet she thought he loved me?

"Hell, I think he's been in love with the thought of you since high school, but to see him tonight it's like a revelation. He just beams at you with a look that reminds me of how Carlisle looks at me when he thinks I'm not looking. I just don't want to see his heart broken. I'm sure you can understand that?" She turned towards me again, looking sternly into my eyes to reiterate her seriousness.

"Mrs. Cullen, I appreciate what you are saying and while I have no intention of breaking his heart, only time will tell. We're both very new to this, not only our relationship but to dating in general. We're bound to make mistakes, but I like your son very much and only wish that I could have known him when we were in high school." I rambled that out quickly hoping to placate Edward's mother. Before I could get worried about her reaction to my comments I was suddenly swept up in a tight motherly embrace. I hadn't been hugged like that in so long that my body immediately responded to its warmth. I leaned into her and felt my arms encircle her waist hugging back.

"Bella, I think you're exactly what Edward needs. I know I'm not your mother, but I hope that if you ever need to talk about anything, I'm available to you. I don't know much about your past, but I know a broken soul when I see one." She was murmuring into my hair while rubbing my back soothingly. I was having a hard time not letting the tears that were so close to breaching the surface to spill forth. This was supposed to be a party and I refused to ruin this evening.

Standing up and backing away from the hug, I could only smile slightly and thank Esme for her kindness with a promise to be good to her son.

**EPOV**

My birthday party had gone pretty well. My mother, of course out did herself with the meal, making my favorite, prime rib and Yorkshire pudding and German chocolate cake for dessert. I had felt bad for a while knowing that Bella looked uncomfortable for the first hour or so, even trying to get her engaged with some of my friends, it wasn't until Alice and Jasper showed up that she found her comfort zone. Jasper's session ran long, so they arrived just as dinner was about to be served, with Alice running around apologizing for their tardiness to anyone who would listen.

When I saw my Mom confront Bella while I was playing pool, I got a little bit nervous. But once I caught up to Bella, she just told me my mom wanted to apologize about this morning and waved it off as no big deal. She seemed to have gotten over her humiliation about this morning's events, so I figured all was well.

My parents left shortly after dinner, leaving us 'kids' to do our thing. We all ended up retreating to the game room and everyone fell into either playing pool or Xbox. I managed to get Bella to loosen up and we played a couple of rounds of eight ball against Jasper and Alice. By midnight, I was ready for the night to wind down, and made my rounds to my friends telling them that I had an early morning meeting in an effort to get some alone time with Bella.

I had long pictured what it would feel like to take things with Bella to another level and hoped that perhaps we could slowly progress towards making that happen tonight. I wasn't expecting us to 'get it on', but I was hoping that she would at least let me see her scars, and that would allow us to progress the physical part of our relationship further. I would give her all the time she needed, but knew that she would need a little nudge in the right direction. Her self-consciousness over her burns was going to be a very large hurdle to get over, and I knew that I needed to be gentle and reassuring with her.

"Penny for your thoughts?" a quiet voice asked, shaking me out the trance I appeared to be in.

"Hey, "I leaned down and gave Bella a kiss on the top of her head and pulled her into my side. "I was just thinking about you…"

"Were you now? In what sort of capacity birthday boy?" she teased, hugging me closely.

"mmm… the most salacious kind of course…" I whispered, kissing her neck below her earlobe, right where I know she likes it.

"Really? Do tell..." she hummed, glancing up at with me with an inquisitive look.

"Just that I'm glad to finally be alone with you."

"And now that you have me, what pray tell are you going to do with me?" She smiled up at me wickedly before taking off in a sprint up the stairs.

"Bella…" I laughed heartily "What are you doing?" I asked chasing after her, finally catching up to her in my bedroom. I tackled her into my large bed with us both smiling like two little kids after a trip to the park.

"Sorry, Edward, I felt like a quick game of tag." She said, trying to unearth herself from my tackle.

I wasn't ready to release her yet, and pulled her back down underneath me and quickly lowered my mouth onto her lips, making us both gasp from its intensity. I felt her sigh into my mouth as she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me in closer. Finally breaking apart for a much needed breath, I held my forehead to hers and just stared into her expressive chocolate eyes.

"Edward…" she whispered, before kissing me feverishly along my jaw and down my throat, making me growl with desire.

I wanted nothing more than to ravage her silly, but knew that we needed to have a chat before we could do that. I gently extricated myself from her firm grasp and sat up. I could tell from the look on her face that she was hurt and a little concerned that I was pulling away from her. Trying to put her mind at ease, I leaned in kissed her temple gently before grasping her hands in mind.

"Bella, can we slow down for one second?" I could see the confusion running through her head as she looked at me longingly for answers.

"Baby, will you show me?" I asked her gently rubbing my thumbs over the back of her hand.

"Show you what Edward? I…. I don't understand, what's wrong?" she pleaded with me.

"Bella honey, you know what I'm talking about. Please, show me." I begged, looking deep into her eyes to try and let her know through my own that we needed to get past this to move forward.

"What? But… I… can't, you… you won't love me anymore… if, if you see…" she pulled her hands back from mine and tears began streaming down her scared face.

Grabbing hold of her hands once again, I knelt down in front of her to reassure her of my intentions.

"Bella, look at me." I demanded. "I have loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you. Before I even knew you, I loved you. This isn't going to change anything. We need to move forward, let me in. Please, let me see, let me help make you whole." I kissed the tops of her knuckles and placed my head into her lap waiting for her response. I could hear her hiccupped sobs, but she hadn't pulled her hands away. I felt a faint kiss on the top of my head, causing me to look up.

I glanced into her swollen eyes to see resignation.

"Edward, I… I want to let you in… but… but I'm so scared," she confessed, taking one of her hands out of my own and running it through my hair.

"I know… I know you are… but please, let me in." I tried to soothe her. After a few moments of just clinging to one another, she finally pulled away and looked up at me.

"oh… okay, I'll try," she mumbled before taking my head between her hands and pulling me into an intense kiss.

I continued returning her kiss as my fingers began to work on the buttons of her shirt.

Pulling away for a moment, I wanted to make sure she was okay with what my fingers were doing. I didn't want her to feel pressured in the least. When she looked down, she smiled sadly at me and pulled me back into her embrace, letting me know that she was okay.

I slowly made my way down one button at a time until I finished my task. Pulling back once again, I grasped the sides of her shirt and looked into her eyes before silently asking permission to push it from her shoulders.

A quick nod was all she gave me before I let my hands slip under and push the fabric off of her.

I kissed away the streaks of tears that now marked her face. She was now sitting before me looking so frail and vulnerable in her little navy blue lace bra that barely covered her pert nipples that were straining against the taut fabric.

She slowly pivoted, turning her back towards me, allowing me to view the remnants of her burn scars.

The fiery red skin covered her entire back and most of her right shoulder. I ran my hand lovingly down her spine and began tracing the tattoo of the yin and yang fish that marked her left shoulder. One fish was on her clean smooth healthy skin and the other was on the edge of her scar. Kissing between her shoulder blades, I felt her flinch, but relax when I ran my hands from her shoulder down her arm.

"You have a tattoo…"

"Mmhm… I got it to show the duality of my own nature. Attractive in the front, horrifying in the back. The fish represent my dad. His favorite pastime after all…" She said sadly. I could still see the tears streaking down her face as I reached back to wipe them from her cheek.

"Edward, how can you stand to look at me? Touch me?" she gasped, looking deep into my eyes.

"Bella, there are so many things that I love about you, and your looks are only a small fraction of that. Don't you see? You're charming and witty and intelligent and funny. You are this outgoing amazing woman one minute and this shy nervous woman the next. Your dichotomy is infectious and I love so much about what makes you… well, you." I exclaimed reverently, looking her straight in the eye. I wanted there to be no confusion about it.

"What would you do if when I took my shirt off you saw a scar down the middle of my chest from heart surgery? Would you like me any less? Looks are going to eventually fade, it's the traits that makes us uniquely us that will keep us together and happy, not whether I have a receding hairline or a paunch in my middle." I was rubbing her shoulders, willing her into understanding my point. While her scars were devastating they weren't the deal breaker that she was making them out to be and all I knew was that I needed to show her that.

"No, I can see your point. I guess I never really thought of it that way. I've been so attached to them for so long…" The tears seemed to be drying up a little bit and I bent down to give her a searing kiss to drill my longing for her home.

"mmm… baby, can I show you how much I care about you?" I murmured into her ear, taking the lobe into my mouth and nipping it before dropping down the column of her neck.

"It's…. um… it's been a long time, I… I don't know if I'm ready…" I interrupted her thought by swallowing it in another kiss, running my tongue over her teeth and pulling her closer to me.

"I just want to love you…taste you… we don't have to go any further, please let me show you…" I kept repeating, moving my hands down to her breasts, feeling the swell of them tucked into lace. I longed to taste her and make her scream out my name. I could take care of my own pleasure for the night, but I just needed to see her come undone because of me.

She moaned under my ministrations and I took that as an affirmative to continue. Moving my hands around the back, I unclasped her bra, surprised that it didn't take me too long, after not having much experience in that area. I pulled the straps slowly from her shoulders and placed the material on the floor. Pulling away for a moment, I drank in the sight of her beautiful figure. She was sitting on my bed, topless with her tear streaked face giving me a smoldering look of lust. Her hair was now tousled after our make out session and her chest heaved with unrestrained desire. Her breasts were small, but were so alluring that my mouth descended quickly to take one of her nipples into my mouth.

"Uh… god that feels so good…" she moaned running her hands through my hair and down my back. "You have too many clothes on… please shirt off…" she mumbled trying to tug the material out of my pants.

"This is all about you right now baby…" I reiterated, but helped loosen the material and pull it over my head. I would keep the pants on tonight, no matter what. I didn't want to rush this or force her into a lust induced decision about sex. No, tonight was all about her and I hoped that even with my little experience, I could make it enjoyable for her. It was my birthday gift to myself.

I laid her back onto the bed and proceeded to continue my kisses and nips down her chest, slowly giving one nipple my mouth's attention while my hand worked on the other before switching. Her hands dove into my hair, tugging my head into her chest. I loved listening to her moans and pants as I decided to drop further down her torso.

"Oh, God… um Edward…" she said suddenly, gently lifting my chin to look at her.

"Mmm… what baby?"

"I've… um, I've never…" she stuttered while her face flamed, while she threw her arm over her eyes in frustration.

"Bella, has no one ever gone down on you before? It's okay baby…. I can't wait to make you feel good…" I interrupted and put mouth back to work on her taut stomach.

"Um… yeah, not exactly… I've never, uh… you know…" she mumbled without pulling her arm from across her eyes. The blush was now spreading down causing her chest to color as well.

"Wait… have you never had an orgasm?" I paused and sat up slightly on my forearms. "Will you look at me for a sec? It's nothing to be embarrassed about, and I have every intention of relieving you of that status tonight." I knew that I was sounding cocky, but after getting her to show me her back, I didn't want to ruin the night by not getting past this right now.

I saw her peek one eye out from under her arm, before sheepishly admitting, "No, I haven't. Jacob tried a couple times when we were together, but I just couldn't get out of my head enough to enjoy it." She let out a big sigh before flinging both her arms down onto the bed beside her. "How am I almost 25 and orgasm-less? " she moaned. I tried not to laugh when she said it, but it was hard not to.

"So you've never given yourself one either?" I moved up next to her so that I could look her in the face. I didn't want this to be a big deal.

"No…I lived with Charlie during my teen years. The whole sex discussion boiled down to a one minute conversation that basically said, don't do it. If you're going to do it, wrap that shit up, and you have too much potential in life to be knocked up and married until after college." She stated, trying to mimic the way Charlie would have said it to her all those years ago.

She smiled at the memory, but continued, "So no, I just never really thought about it? Hell I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty, so that should tell you something right there…" I leaned down and kissed her softly before asking her if I could continue.

"You can try, but please don't be hard on yourself if it doesn't happen. I don't want your fragile ego to be broken before we've even begun," she teased, kissing me quickly before throwing her arm once again over her eyes.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." I joked, giving her a wink.

I began where I started, taking my time to show affection to every inch of her torso. She was so responsive to my touch and it made me a little angry to think that the knucklehead who came before me did such a lousy job showing her pleasure.

Sliding my hand down, I reached to unbutton her skirt. I could have just pushed it up, but I wanted to see all of her in her beautiful glory. She lifted up and allowed me to slide both it and her tiny navy panties down her long smooth legs. I ran my hands slowly back up her legs, relishing in the feeling of her soft skin. I could tell that she was getting nervous about being naked in front of me by the tension I saw in her face and clenched hands next to her. Wanting to reassure her of how spectacular she looked splayed out before me, I leaned down next to her ear and whispered, "God, you're even more delectable than I could have ever imagined. I can't wait to feel you come undone for me." She moaned softly but didn't release the tension in her face like I had hoped.

Moving to the end of the bed, I grasped her ankle and began peppering her with kisses, slowly and methodically moving towards where I ultimately couldn't wait to be.

"Ugh… God Edward that feels so good…" I barely heard above her pants.

Finally reaching my destination, I slid one finger through her folds before licking her slickness off my finger. "Bella, you taste divine." I ran my thumb over her firm nub and felt her hips buck up against the sensation. "Does that feel good baby?" Her response was a nod, but she still refused to release her tension. Thinking quickly, I thought of a way to get her mind off of what I was doing, yet still keep her in the moment.

"Baby? Can you do something for me?" I asked, while still continuing to stroke her softly.

"hmmm?" She moved her arm away from her face so to look down at me.

"Have you ever fantasized about us?" I nuzzled the inside of her thigh as I waited for her response.

"Um… yeah, why?" she replied, panic creeping into her voice.

"Relax; I just want to hear about one. Can you do that? Tell me one of your fantasies? I have so many that I can't wait to share with you, but I want to hear one of yours, okay?" I could see the confusion in her eyes, but I didn't want to let on that I was having her do this to get her from thinking too much. I just wanted her to enjoy the feelings coursing through her body and I would also benefit by hearing what she liked and didn't.

"I guess so…" she quirked her head to the side still confused, but had a look of introspection trying to think of something to say.

"Close your eyes and tell me where we are, what are you doing? What am I doing?" I coaxed her gently.

"Um… I'm standing down in your solarium with my back to the kitchen. I'm leaning on your piano looking out at the ocean…"

I began to gently lick her folds as one hand began caressing her breast. "Mmhm… where am I?"

"Oh god… that feels so good…" she sighs and I can begin to see the tension leaving her hands and face. "Um you walk up behind me and slide your hands down my body before tugging on my hips so that I am flush against your chest and I can feel your erection against me… Ugh, Edward…" she panted.

"What are we wearing?" I nudge her to continue while I thrust one finger inside her.

"Oh Jesus…" she exclaims at the sudden assault.

"Jesus isn't here right now, keep going," I urge.

"I'm just in one of your white button down shirts and I can feel your hands begin to tug the hem of the shirt up so that my bare ass is exposed to you. Your hands start rubbing and kneading my ass while you are kissing and biting my neck…"

"Mmmhmm… then what" I murmur still sucking hard on her clit while adding another finger.

"Oh… uh… you're touching me, making sure that I'm ready for you. You have trapped me against the piano and won't let me turn around. I can hear you unzip your pants as you push my head gently down against the piano and enter me in one swift motion… Ugh, god, right there Edward…"

As she mentions me entering her, I push one more finger inside her and begin to feel her start to tense, as her hips start bucking off the bed, grinding into my mouth.

"Tell me more…"

"You are fucking me so hard against your piano. Oh God… I'm… I'm…..You reach around to rub my clit with one hand and are biting the back of my neck. You tell me to cum with you and we both release around each other, collapsing in a heap against the side of your piano...Ohhhhhh…..God…. I'm cumming Edward…."

I smile against her center as I gently remove my fingers and lap up the remains of her orgasm until I feel her hands pushing my head away. Frowning, I look up to see her staring at me in astonishment and affection.

"Sorry… it's just really sensitive," she pants, tugging on my hair to get me to come up next to her. "Thank you…" she whispers, giving me a huge satisfied smile before pulling my face in to kiss her. Before I have a chance to warn her, I hear her comment, "huh, so this is what I taste like" between breaths.

We lay next to one another for a long time, just caressing each other's skin and giving gentle loving kisses.

She turns her head slightly to quietly ask, "How did you learn how to do that? From what you told me we both don't have a lot of experience…"

"Porn, lots and lots of porn." I reply in my best _Rainman_ voice. Bella threw me smile with an incredulous look, so I continued. "Hey, what do you want, I'm a single guy who's been living on his own for a long time." I shrugged and pulled her closer into my chest.

"To think that I could have been studying up all this time?" she chuckled, before snuggling in closer to me. It wasn't too long before I could hear Bella's breathing even out, letting me know that she'd fallen asleep. I smile down at her as I pull back the covers and place her gently under them. My erection had finally decided that it had waited long enough and requires immediate attention. Slipping quietly into the bathroom, I turn on the shower and before getting in, I look at my reflection and see the shit eating grin plastered on my face.

"Best. Birthday. EVER! " I say to myself before climbing in to the warm water to relieve some tension.

* * *

_**A/N – IMPORTANT – PLEASE READ!!**_

_First let me say thanks to everyone who has put me on story alert, favorites and who have reviewed this story. I must say last chapter I only got 5 reviews – which made me kind of sad since it was sort of the big reveal, but I can't make you tell me your thoughts, so I just have to assume that you didn't really find their pasts that interesting, and for that, I apologize. _

_Second – Yes, Edward is a big ol' mamma's boy in this story._

_Lastly – I wanted to let you all know that the reason I posted this unbeta'd is because of the imminent delivery of my second child. I'm due in a few days, and wanted to make sure this got posted before I end up in a sleepless fog for a while. If my beta gets back to me, I will post an edited version to replace this one. I am not, nor do I have any intention of giving up on this story. It may be a little while before the next chapter is posted, but I have it already in my mind, so hopefully it won't be too long. I may just post shorter chapters in the future just to get them out. This will not be an epic story – only maybe 4 or 5 more full length chapters tops._

_So please tell me what you think – because if you don't tell me, I have to assume that I've disappointed you and that just makes a 9 month preggo lady very very sad indeed._


	11. Tit for Tat

**A/N**

_I want to thank anyone who is still reading along with this fic. I really do appreciate it and my apologies for the long time between updates, but I had a baby and it kind of took up a lot of my time lately. My next update shouldn't take as long. _

_This chapter is basically all lemons – so if that doesn't float your boat… you can skip and not have it really mess up the story for you. Rated M for a reason. If you aren't 18 – move along…_

_Big thank you to my beta __**Blackjacklily**__ – she's the best!!_

_Thanks to my Twilighted beta – __**Totoro**_

_**Disclaimer: **__I currently own a lot of shirts with spit up on them, but I don't own Twilight._

_Without further ado…._

**It's been a while – so previously on TRIBE **

_She turns her head slightly to quietly ask, "How did you learn how to do that? From what you told me we both don't have a lot of experience…" _

"_Porn, lots and lots of porn." I reply in my best Rainman voice. Bella threw me smile with an incredulous look, so I continued. "Hey, what do you want, I'm a single guy who's been living on his own for a long time." I shrugged and pulled her closer into my chest._

"_To think that I could have been studying up all this time?" She chuckled, before snuggling in closer to me. It wasn't too long before I could hear Bella's breathing even out, letting me know that she'd fallen asleep. I smile down at her as I pull back the covers and place her gently under them. My erection had finally decided that it had waited long enough and requires immediate attention. Slipping quietly into the bathroom, I turn on the shower and before getting in, I look at my reflection and see the shit eating grin plastered on my face. _

"_Best. Birthday. Ever." I say to myself before climbing in to the warm water to relieve some tension._

**Tit for Tat…**

**BPOV**

Waking up wrapped in Edward's strong arms made me feel loved and protected. I could feel the rise and fall of his breaths along with the rise of his morning wood against my ass. I smiled at the memory of the previous night. He had actually made me orgasm, and it was like nothing I had ever felt before. I was astonished by the emotions and sensations that washed over me all at once. The feeling in my abdomen exploded and in those few moments, took more energy out of me than any sex with Jacob ever had. It made me smile to know that it was Edward who had finally been the one to crack my O-card, almost as if my body had been waiting my whole life for him. Being held in his arms felt like nothing else, as if I was molded to fit side by side with him in perfect harmony.

I was still basking in the glow from the night before when I was suddenly overcome with overwhelming lust. I guess one orgasm will make a girl horny. Sliding my hand around behind me, I softly played with his cloth covered erection. It was only then that I realized that although I was completely nude, he was still being a gentleman by wearing his boxers to bed. Extricating myself from his grasp, I moved slightly away and turned towards him. He barely stirred, letting me know that he was still deep in slumber. I took the moment to really take all of him in for the first time. His chest was lightly sculpted in a way that said he exercised, but wasn't into heavy lifting. His taut abs were covered in a light smattering of hair leading down his happy trail, and showing off the sculpted V of his hips. His chest hair was of the same auburn color, and had just enough to keep him looking more manly than boyish. Slowly running my fingers through it, I relished in how soft it was. I wanted to nuzzle against it and have him pull me into a tight embrace, but I had something else in mind. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to pull his boxers off without waking him somehow, but I needed to see all of him, and to let him know how much I wanted him. After a few moments of debate, I decided to leave the boxers on, and to just work around the offending fabric. I wanted him to wake up from whatever he was dreaming about to a very happy ending.

I slowly slid my hand into the flap in the front of his boxers. I could feel the smooth, taut skin of his erection as I pulled it out so that I could finally end my fantasy with his reality. His penis was pure perfection. Not that I had seen a lot, but while I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20, I did give the occasional blowjob in high school and college. I was seriously hoping that it was like riding a bike, since it had been a long time since I had given one.

Edward's member was long, but not obnoxious like some kind of porn star. I would have guessed it was around eight and a half inches, and was a nice comparable width. Licking my lips in anticipation of finally tasting him, I took a quick glance to see if he was still sleeping. He had rolled over onto his back and thrown his arm up over his head, but appeared to still be soundly sleeping. Stroking it lovingly, I leaned down and took my first lick along the underside. I heard Edward moan and shift a little in his sleep, but I didn't stop what I was doing.

I swirled my tongue around his tip before taking it slowly into my mouth. Moving up and down his shaft languidly, I grasped the base and began pumping my hand around what I couldn't fit in my mouth. As I sped up my actions, I caught sight of movement from above me. Peeking up, I saw Edward's green eyes locked in a piercing stare. I curled my mouth up into a smile and hummed around his firm cock. Edward's hips thrust forward as he grunted.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

Pulling off of him with a POP, I threw him a cheeky smile. "If you don't know what I'm doing, then I must be doing it wrong."

His eyes rolled back into his head as I resumed my activities, humming and moving back and forth.

"Oh God… you know you don't have to do this…" he moaned, looking back down at me.

"Mmm hmm, but you taste so good…" I mumbled around him and sped up my movements.

"Oh shit, Bella, that feels so good," he said through clenched teeth, gripping the sheets beside him. "Oh, God, I'm not going to last…"

Feeling his hands near my head trying to push me away, I heard, "So close…" He gasped as I sucked harder and fondled his perineum and balls, just before he exploded into my mouth. "FUCK, BELLA!" Swallowing every drop, I continued to watch Edward come down from his orgasm. His handsome features finally relaxed and he started stroking my cheek as I released him slowly, cleaning any remnants off of him.

"Good morning," I cheerily said, moving back up to lay next to him.

"Now that's a fantastic way to wake up," he murmured into my ear, giving me a kiss along my neck. "What brought that on? Not that I'm complaining."

I smiled into his eyes, the look of relaxation and bliss purely evident. "Apparently my body woke up from the coma it was in, and you turned me into a horny mess," I responded honestly, chuckling softly.

Pulling me even closer to him, he stroked my back lovingly. The feeling deep in my abdomen was beginning to awaken again and I could only think of one thing, that I wanted Edward inside me, NOW. I couldn't believe that my libido, which had been dormant for so long, suddenly awoke, making me feel like a raging, hormonal teenager. I didn't even know if Edward wanted to take the next step, and here I was borderline ready to jump his ass.

"Um, Bella?" Edward asked, taking me out of my hormone induced trance.

"Hmm?"

"You're humping my leg, was there something you wanted?" He chuckled, pulling me on top of him and wrapping his arms tightly around me.

Blushing deeply, I tucked my head into his chest, too mortified to respond.

"God, you're so sexy," he said, nuzzling his face into my hair.

I could feel him already rising to the occasion. I wanted him badly and didn't know how to tell him. How was I able to give the man what I hoped was a mind blowing blowjob and wasn't able to ask for more? As my brain continued to mull over how to ask for sex with a man that you're already in bed naked with, I felt Edward's hands glide over my ass.

"Bella…" His voice low and husky whispered in my ear, "tell me. Tell me that you want me as much as I want you…" I felt his hands continue to graze the underside of my ass before his fingers began sliding through my slick lips.

"Please, Edward…" I moaned before attacking his lips with my own.

"Please what? You need to tell me…" His fingers pinched my clit while his lips travelled down my throat before suckling on my nipple.

"Oh God, please, Edward, fuck me… Please," I begged, panting into his shoulder.

He pulled away from my chest to gaze seriously into my eyes. "No." He said matter-of-factly. To say that I was mortified would have been an understatement. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I moved out of his grasp.

"Bella, where are you going?" he asked, grabbing my wrist and pulling me back into bed.

"You said no…" I wept into his chest, feeling raw and dejected.

"Bella, I said no to fucking. You didn't let me finish. I want to make love to you. I want to worship every inch of you and take our time getting to know each other. We can fuck another time, but for right now, I want to go slow. Is that okay?" He pulled me away from his chest to look me in the eye.

My tears dried up when I realized what he was saying. He wasn't rejecting me; instead he was being the sweet, loveable, and romantic man that I was growing very fond of.

"Mood killer, huh?" I joked,beforejoked, before I started to attack his lips, trying to get us both back in the mood.

Chuckling against my mouth, Edward pulled back once again to gaze into my eyes. "Baby, I just want to do this right, no regrets. I know it's been a long time for both of us…"

"Shut UP and make love to me." I replied, fiercely attaching my mouth to his once again, effectively shutting him up.

Having given him an answer he could live with, his hands promptly felt like they were everywhere all at once. He flipped me over onto my back and didn't release my lips during our change in positions. Running my hands through his hair, he dragged his lips down the column of my neck, taking slow small nips along the way. One of my hands left the tangle of his soft hair to move across the planes of his muscular back.

Edward quickly found my erect nipple, suckling on it and rolling it around in his mouth. I threw my head back and ran my nails down his side at the delicious sensation that was coursing through my body. Moaning loudly, I grabbed at Edward's ass, trying to pull him towards my center and get some much needed friction against my core. Realizing that he was still in his boxers, I quickly used my hands and feet to tug them off of his hips and down his legs.

Edward continued his descent down my body, fulfilling his promise to tease every inch of my body. He had covered my neck, chest, belly, and even the curve of my elbow in warm open mouthed kisses and nips. While his lips worked on my torso, I felt his hand descend down towards my throbbing center. The pressure inside me was building before he even had reached my clit and I ached for more.

"Edward, please…" I begged

"Please what, baby?" he huskily replied.

"Please, please, please… It's too much. I don't know, but please…"

"Shhh…" he murmured in my ear, his hand cupping me gently as he ran his thumb over my clit. The sense of frustration eased with the friction of his fingers, and they soon sent me falling over the abyss.

"Oh God, Edward…" I moaned, falling back onto the bed and relishing in the complete and immediate sense of relaxation. It took me a few moments to realize that I had left poor Edward hanging. I opened my heavy lids and saw Edward kneeling next to me with a look of unadulterated lust. Smiling timidly, I grabbed his hand and pulled myself up into his awaiting arms.

"Thank you…" I whispered shyly. "I'm sorry to have left you hanging there for a moment. I'm still getting used to this whole orgasm thing," I tried to tease.

"No apology necessary, watching you cum was the hottest thing I've ever witnessed." He growled and overtook my mouth once again. I could feel his erection straining against my thigh. I felt wanton and sexy for the first time ever as I pushed him onto his back. I felt like taking control and making this happen for us both. We had both been through so much and I needed the connection with him, and I needed it now.

"Edward, I believe you mentioned something about making love?" I teased seductively while running my hands and lips down his amazing chest. When I reached his cock, I ran my hands lovingly back and forth over it before preparing to settle myself on him.

"Ugh… Bella… Condom?" He gasped just as I was about to make my move.

"Pill, we're good?" I asked, barely able to form the question. All I wanted was to impale myself on him.

"Oh, okay…" he grunted as I shifted my hips, fully sheathing him inside me. His size was impressive and I had to take a moment to adjust. It had been four and a half years after all. I looked down at Edward's face and I couldn't help but gently caress his face as I started to slowly move on top of him. He was so beautiful in this moment that I needed to take a second to try and commit his handsome face to my memory.

"You feel so good, as if you were made for me…" His hips jutted forward as a sign for me to speed up my motions. Rocking over him, I remembered a move that I saw in _Cosmo_ once long ago. Reaching back, I took hold of his thighs and felt him hit my g-spot deep inside of me.

"Oh God!" I gasped, trying to maintain the rhythm we had created. He filled me so deeply and I felt another orgasm fast approaching.

"Fuck… Edward…" I gasped, letting go of his thighs and throwing my head forward and down into his chest.

"So close, baby…" he said, grabbing me tightly by the waist and spinning me onto my back. His hips began pumping faster and I knew we were both close. I felt the pressure building up as I breathlessly exclaimed, "Edward…", my insides clamping down on him.

"Oh God, Bella…" he exclaimed as he spilled into me. He quickly collapsed onto my chest, his body weight mostly resting on his forearms. My arms instinctually wrapped around him, soothingly rubbing up and down the smooth planes of his back.

"That…that was amazing," he whispered breathlessly into my ear, kissing my neck soothingly.

"Mmhmmm..," was all I could say. The peaceful feeling overtaking me.

Rolling off of me, Edward pulled me tightly into his side as we both fell back into a contented sleep.

**EPOV**

Being woken up by Bella's mouth wrapped around my cock was completely unexpected; fantastic, but unexpected. I had planned last night's seduction at the last minute, wanting nothing more for my birthday than to get to know a little more about Bella, both mentally and physically. Reciprocation was not what I had on my mind when I drifted off into a deep slumber after my shower. She had vacillated between being bold and shy as we made love this morning. I wanted nothing more than to make her feel the confident and sexy woman that I was coming to love.

Waking up about an hour after our first time, I couldn't help my wandering hands as they yearned to touch Bella. I woke her up by slowly and leisurely caressing her soft supple skin, making her moan as I teased her entrance. We made love slowly and reverently before our stomachs decided that they needed nourishment.

"So how about I whip up some sandwiches and we eat them out by the pool. It looks like a lovely day," I asked, running my hands down her supple curves.

She nuzzled into my neck. "Sure, sounds good. Do you mind if I grab a shower first?" she asked.

"Take your time. There are towels under the sink. I'd join you, but I'm afraid we'd never leave this room if I had my way," I teased, giving her one last kiss before sliding out of bed and grabbing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from my dresser.

Wandering down to my kitchen, I couldn't help but smile at how wonderful the weekend had turned out. I felt like the relationship that I had been dreaming of since high school was finally coming to fruition. Bella had let me in on so many levels over the course of these few days that I felt honored and somewhat ashamed. While Bella had opened up to me, I still had secrets deep in my closet that I had yet to share. I'm sure Dr. Banner would be commenting on it during our next session this week. He was the only one who knew the shame that I felt every day and why Victoria still held so much power over me.

Shaking the dark thoughts from my mind, I started making our sandwiches. Moving around the island, I heard my phone beeping, letting me know that I had a message. Glancing down at my phone, I saw that I had three missed calls and two new text messages. Rolling my eyes, I decided to read the texts first.

_Hope U had a good bthdy. Get some? C U Thurs – Em_

Crap, I had forgotten that Emmett was moving in with me this week. So much for thoughts of having spontaneous sex around my house now. My brother had impeccable cockblocking timing. I finally get a girlfriend who I want to bone in every room in my house and I now, for the first time since living with my parents, get a freaking roommate.

I felt arms encircle me, shaking me out of my musings.

"Whatcha doing?" she asked, standing on her tiptoes to give me a quick chaste kiss.

"Mmm… come here, that wasn't nearly enough of a kiss for me." I insisted, putting the phone down and grabbing her by the waist.

She fell back into my embrace and I could feel her wet hair brushing against my chest, smelling of mint and my body wash. Kissing her deeply, I mumbled into her mouth that I really needed to get her some of her girly body wash so that she smelled like her instead of me.

"Oh, I don't know. I kind of like smelling like you. So what did you make?" She twirled out of my grasp and headed towards the counter were the sandwiches were sitting.

"I only had turkey and Swiss, so I hope that's okay. I need to get to the store, but getting followed around by cameras while shopping is pretty unappetizing.

"I'm famished, so you could feed me just about anything at this point."

"Want something to drink?" I asked, heading over to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water for myself.

"Water would be great, thanks."

Grabbing our plates and water we walked out to the patio that surrounded my pool.

"God, what a view. How do you ever leave here?" she inquired as she sat down at the shaded table.

"I actually haven't enjoyed it nearly enough, and with my upcoming schedule, I probably won't have time to appreciate it for a while," I explained solemnly.

"Yeah, I guess we're back to the real world tomorrow, huh?" She shrugged, looking a bit sad as she took a big bite of her sandwich, getting a smear of mustard on the corner of her mouth.

"Ugh… don't remind me," I huffed, taking my thumb and sweeping the mustard off. She quickly licked my thumb before I could lick it off, soliciting a grumble from deep in my stomach. I threw her a dark look of warning. "You can't do things like that or I'm going to throw you over my shoulder and we're not leaving the bedroom until the sun comes up."

"Sorry, as much as I'd love to spend the rest of the day in your bedroom, I do have to go back to my house and get ready for the week. It's going to be a bit insane for me too you know…just cause you're a big time celebrity doesn't mean you're the only one with a busy schedule," she claimed mockingly.

I threw my hands up in defeat. "Okay, okay, you're right. So does that mean you're heading home soon?" I pouted, hoping to change her mind, knowing that we probably wouldn't see much of each other for the week.

"Nah uh… that pout isn't going to work on me, I have laundry to do and a week's worth of guests to read up on. " She gazed up at me through her thick lashes laced with what looked like regret.

"So what time do you have to leave then?"

"I should probably head out in an hour or two." I was bummed, but could see from the look on her face that she was just as unhappy about it as I was.

"So what's going on this week and when do I get to see you? I'm not sure I'm going to be able to wait until next weekend." I grabbed her hand to reiterate my point, needing to show how much I hated to not be able see or touch her for a few days.

"Aside from waking up before dawn for work and volunteering, I have to do a couple of location gigs and we have our station's Hot Time in the City concert festival this Saturday, so I have some promotions to do around that as well. If we're lucky and you're free, we might be able to hang out on Sunday," she sighed, rubbing the back of my hand and looking deflated.

"Sunday… really?" I groaned, not wanting to wait that long. "I am in rehearsals for the tour all week, Emmett is coming in on Thursday and I'm filming my next video on Friday, but maybe we can meet up for dinner?" I got up and walked around and knelt before her. "Let's not let our schedules get in the way of US, okay? I've finally got you and I don't want to lose you due to our busy lives," I pleaded, trying to get her to understand how desperate I was to make this fragile relationship work. I knew that I was going to be gone for most of the summer and didn't want us to retreat into ourselves once things got hectic.

She looked down at me and gave me a shy smile. "Okay," she whispered, leaning in to give me a kiss filled with the longing we both were feeling.

"Let's talk once I get home and check my schedule about when we can get together for dinner, alright? I don't want to go all week without seeing you either."

"Deal. Let's not waste the rest of our time together getting depressed about it." I tugged on her hand, helping her up. She leaned in and gave me a tight hug, burying her head into my chest and nuzzling against the soft cotton of my t-shirt. I felt the sexual tension within me begin to rise, but wasn't sure if Bella was up for another round.

Heading back inside with our dishes, I heard my phone ringing in the distance. "Crap…" I mumbled, remembering that I never made it through the messages that were still stored on it. I knew I wasn't going to be able to answer it in time and let it roll over into voicemail. Figuring it was most likely either Emmett or my mom, I left the phone where it was and went to attend to Bella who was now washing up our lunch dishes.

"Who was that?" she inquired, not bothering to look up.

"Don't know. I missed the call and didn't want to interrupt whatever time we had left for the day," I replied, wrapping my arms around her and grabbing the dish from her wet hands.

"It's okay, Edward. If you have things to do, I understand." Her ass was backed up into me, and being this close to her was causing my internal temperature to climb once again. I needed to have her again and had a funny feeling that I would never get enough of her.

Spinning her around to face me, I leaned in and whispered in her ear, "The only thing I want to do is you."

I crashed my mouth onto her beautiful lips, feeling riled up and possessive after our chat earlier. Our tongues were quickly wrestling for dominance in each other's mouths while our hands were roaming, greedily pushing and pulling at the little clothes we were wearing.

"Edward, can you do something for me?" She pulled away from our embrace, panting out her question.

I gazed into her lust filled eyes and smirked before murmuring in her ear, "Whatever you need."

"Fuck me? Here, against the counter, or on the couch, but fuck me, hard, and fast? You've made love to me all morning and I need something raw. I don't know why I'm feeling this way… edgy or something. I don't know," she begged, shaking her head, almost trying to rid herself of the feeling. "I just know that I want you so badly it's making my body actually ache for you…"

Without letting her finish her confession, I scooped her up into my arms and stalked over to the leather couch. Attacking her clothes, they fell off of her in a flash, my mouth in a fury discovering every inch of exposed skin. I wasn't sure what had come over me. It was as if her words sparked some unbridled passion deep within me. I suddenly wanted to take us to places that I had only dreamt about. I wanted to bite her and tug on her hair. I wanted to bend her over, spread her legs and fuck her into oblivion. I started to turn her around when her head shot up breaking our contact.

"Wait… wait…" she repeated breathlessly. I immediately pulled back, shocked, trying to figure out what I had done wrong.

"It's just um… my back. I don't want you to…" I overtook her mouth, effectively keeping her from completing her sentence. She didn't want me to take her from behind because she was embarrassed. I would need to work on her confidence over time, but for today, I would give in to her request.

"Baby, you know it doesn't bother me. I think you are the most gorgeous thing I've ever laid eyes on, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable." I sat down on the couch and pulled her into my lap, running my hands over her shoulders and down her arms, trying to soothe her psyche.

"I know… I'm sorry." She hung her head dejectedly.

"Hey," I replied, tipping her chin up so that she was looking at me. "I believe you mentioned something about fucking," I reminded her, trying to get her to focus on something other than her perceived imperfections.

She gave me a crooked grin and assaulted my mouth greedily. I was relieved to know that the mood wasn't completely destroyed.

Wasting no time, she slid herself down onto me in one quick movement and began to dictate the pace.

"Oh God, Bella, you feel so good." My hands ran up her back and threaded themselves into her hair. I tugged lightly to see what her response would be. She moaned delectably and while her head was pulled back, I had to attend to her beautiful neck.

"Edward, please…" she begged as I dropped one of my hands between us and began rubbing her clit.

"Look at me," I directed. When her eyes met mine, I seized her waist and flipped her on to her back on my floor.

My head descended at once, latching on to her pert nipple. My hips continued to pump wildly as I felt the pressure building towards my orgasm.

"I'm so close…," she moaned, tugging on my hair and running her short nails over my back.

I grabbed her leg and threw it over my shoulder, while using the other one that was pushed up against her chest as leverage to shift the angle, hoping to hit the elusive g-spot I had always heard things about.

"Mary mother of God!" she exclaimed as her body clamped down on my dick, sending me over the edge and exploding in to her.

I collapsed on top of her, carefully keeping most of my weight off of her.

Wiping her hair from her forehead, I glanced into her expressive eyes. "You are filled with surprises Miss Swan." I leaned down and kissed her lovingly. "Now that you've opened the flood gates, how am I supposed to not have you every minute of every day?"

"Hmm… I could probably be asking you the same question Mr. Masen. That was incredible."

"That it was, that it was…" I agreed, nuzzling into her hair.

"As much as I would love to continue lying on the floor…" she teased, reminding me that we were indeed laying on my uncomfortable hardwood floor.

"Right, sorry." I muttered, climbing off of her and pulling her back up on to the sofa next to me. We relaxed in comfortable silence for a while just basking in the afterglow of our day's escapades.

After a while, I felt Bella scoot out of my arms as she turned to tell me that she should get dressed and get ready to leave.

"I know. I'm just not ready to let you go yet…" I pulled her into my side, hugging her tight.

"Me neither, but reality was bound to come crashing in at some point, right?" She smiled sadly, picking up the yoga pants and tight t-shirt that we had shed so quickly.

"So you need to head home now?" I quirked my head to the side, throwing her my best puppy dog eyes.

She nodded forlornly and walked off back towards my kitchen looking lost in thought.

I watched her head up to my room to retrieve her overnight bag, looking distant and melancholy. Walking up the stairs behind her, I pulled on a pair of jeans and another T-shirt from my dresser before sliding my favorite pair of flip flops on.

"You ready to go?" she asked me, walking from the room.

Following her, I replied almost inaudibly, "As much as I'll ever be."

We silently walked towards the garage, picking up my keys, phone, and wallet as we walked by the bowl that I dropped them in when I came in the house.

I opened the door to the Audi for her and then walked around, letting myself in on the other side. I needed to ask her what she was thinking, the silence had moved into the awkward stage.

We pulled out of my driveway and made the trip back to her home in Santa Monica.

"So are you going to tell me what's on your mind, or are we going to settle for awkward silence?" I asked, trying to add a hint of joviality into my question to mask how serious I actually was.

"Hmm?" she asked, finally turning her head to look at me.

"What's going on inside that head of yours?"

"Nothing…"

"Bella, you're a crappy liar. What's wrong?" I grasped her hand that was sitting in her lap, moving my thumb over the smooth back side of it.

I heard her sigh heavily. It felt like she was trying to weigh her words carefully.

"Um… I sort of feel like one of those people, who after being deaf their whole lives, gets their hearing restored thanks to modern technology…"

"What? I'm not trying to be obtuse, but I don't follow." I said, glancing quickly over at her profile next to me.

She hung her head and mumbled into her lap, "I'm scared Edward. I never thought that I was lonely, because for so long, it's all I've known. Now you come along and shine this big bright light in my face, illuminating all that was dark and wrong about my life before. I'm scared." She reiterated, looking up at me, her eyebrows furrowed and the sparkle of unshed tears in her eyes. "Now that I know what it's like to proverbially hear, I don't want to go back to being deaf. Does that make any sense?" she confided. "This weekend has been one of the best and one of the most challenging of my life. You're the first person that I've truly let in and I'm feeling raw and exposed. Now that we're leaving our little bubble, I fear what's to come now." I could hear the emotion welling up in her voice and wished that she hadn't waited until we were in the car to tell me all of this. All I wanted to do was envelop her in my arms and comfort her.

"You know that you're doing the same for me, right?" I asked, trying to verbally reassure her instead.

She threw her head back against the seat, slouching down, looking so fragile and broken.

"Do I? You've had this confidence about us since we reconnected and I just feel a little overwhelmed by these feelings. I just don't know what I'm doing…" she huffed, closing her eyes.

"This confidence is all a façade, Bella. I don't know what I'm doing either, but I trust US, that's all I have." I grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently.

We pulled up to her little bungalow and I jumped out of the car to open the door for her. I grasped her hand and pulled her up into a warm embrace.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm being silly…"

"Hey, this is new to us both. I want to know what you're thinking and feeling. Don't hide it from me, or we really won't work. Okay?" I pulled back and gazed into her eyes, trying to ensure that she knew the sincerity of my words.

"Okay…" she muttered shyly. I pulled her bag out of the backseat and walked her up to her door.

"Did you want to come in for a few?" she asked timidly.

"No, I should head back. Call me later?" I leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss, knowing that if it got any deeper, I would probably force my way into her house and go for round four.

"Mmm kay…" she moaned into my mouth. "Thanks for the lovely weekend. Really, Edward, I had a great time."

"Me too… I'll talk to you later?"

I watched her enter her house and I quickly walked back to my car, the huge smile on my face unfaltering.

_You've had more sex in twelve hours than you have in the last twenty five years. About freaking time! _I thought to myself, patting my internal rock star on the back.

I was almost half way home when my phone rang. Grabbing my Bluetooth headset, I turned it on and answered, "Hello."

"Edward, where the fuck have you been? I've tried you four times, why haven't you called me back?" shouted Rosalie.

"Good afternoon to you too, Rose. What can I do for you?" I replied calmly, knowing my publicist's affinity for the overly dramatic.

"Edward, we have a big fucking problem," she snapped seriously.

**A/N**

_Thanks to everyone for reading and following along. I do appreciate it and hope you'll find a couple seconds to hit the review button. _


	12. And so it goes

**A/N**

_Okay – I know this took a bit longer than I hoped, but well… that's how it goes sometimes._

_Thanks for reading – please note that this is unbeta'd – sorry about that I apologize about my excessive use of commas._

_Disclaimer: I don't own it, just playing around with SM's characters._

_Previously: _

"Edward, where the fuck have you been? I've tried you four times, why haven't you called me back?" shouted Rosalie.

"Good afternoon to you too, Rose. What can I do for you?" I replied calmly, knowing my publicist's affinity for the overly dramatic.

"Edward, we have a big fucking problem," she snapped seriously.

**And so it goes…**

**EPOV**

"_Edward, we have a big fucking problem."_

It had been almost two weeks since Rosalie uttered those words in my ears. Two weeks of dodging the paparazzi, working hard getting ready for my tour and seeing very little of Bella in the time between. It had been extremely trying for both of us.

It was the Fourth of July and my concert tour was kicking off today at the Hollywood bowl. Bella was sitting somewhere out in the audience with Alice and Jasper, having deemed it too risky for her to be seen sitting with the rest of my family. I sat backstage waiting to go on, feeling the pervasive exhaustion in every bone of my body. Little did I know that the big fucking problem Rose was talking about was twofold. Victoria had sent me a little birthday reminder of her threat towards Bella and we managed to make the cover of _US Weekly_. A stellar week indeed.

Victoria had somehow managed to slip a large manila envelope underneath the door of Hale and Reed PR with a close up photo of me and Bella the night of the benefit concert with the words 'I Warned You' spelled out over the bottom corner. We had contacted the police to let them know of her ongoing threat towards us, but without proof that she had actually broken the constraints of her restraining order, they could do little. Bella had put up her facade of calm and collected and kept repeating to anyone who would ask that 'she was fine'. I had my doubts but I could only ask so many times before I was sure she would smack me.

The cover of _US Weekly_ is what really threw us into a tailspin. Thank God for the contacts that Rose had at the various weekly rags so that we got a heads up before it came out on the newsstands. One of those leeches had nabbed a photo of me comforting Bella outside the gate to my home when she had her panic attack. Thankfully I only pulled up the visor on the helmet she wore, so her face wasn't completely revealed. It pissed me off that I was now surrounded by the press even more than I was before. I couldn't figure out how that was even possible, but throw in an apparent girlfriend and wham… you get followed incessantly. It also saddened me that it was only a matter of time before Bella's identity made its self known and she would be even worse off than me. I at least had ten foot walls surrounding my house; she only had a two foot hedge that bordered her small piece of property. She would be a sitting duck the moment she walked out of her house and would have to cloister herself away under the dark cloak of curtains. I knew she loved the little sunny window seat in the front of her house and it depressed me to know that she would have to soon cover it or else give the press a wide open window to view every detail inside her tiny home.

When I had told Bella about the photo, she retreated back into her shell. She hated being noticed, simply liking to be a wallflower that I knew she never could be. We now had to be even more stealth and careful about meeting, which was almost impossible with photographers now staked out at my house 24/7.

I started using Garrett every day since his car had tinted windows and gave me the false sense of privacy. I couldn't be seen coming or going from Bella's for fear that it would uncover '_Who's That Girl?_' the headline of the magazine article that outed us. Alice tried to be helpful by throwing a dinner party at their house just so we could go and not seem like we were together. We had managed to leave in the cover of Garrett's limo with him taking her back up to Alice's the next morning in the wee hours before dawn when she had to go to work. I had wanted to show up to her radio station's big summer concert, but was afraid of anyone putting two and two together.

All in all, I was miserable knowing that I had a magnificent woman, but could barely be with her. I knew it was wearing on Bella as well and could see the dark circles under her eyes. She said it was nothing, but Alice alluded that she was having nightmares again about the accident, only it wasn't her father she saw, but me. When I tried to talk to her about it, she dismissed it with a wave of her hand and refused to discuss it.

"Edward, you're on in five," Peter shouted into my dressing room door.

"Thanks, be right there," I replied somberly.

I saw my phone buzz on the dressing table and walked over to see who it was. A grin spread across my face as I opened the text that Bella had sent me.

_Take a deep breath and relax. You're going to be great. XO B_

I responded quickly, knowing I had to get on stage.

_How do you do that? Know the exact thing I needed to hear. Gotta run. See you after the show? Operation bait and switch, right? XO E_

I waited one last moment to see if she would reply when the phone buzzed in my hand.

_You're on. See you soon. Can't wait. XO B_

I read it quickly and jogged up to the wings of the stage. Peter nodded his head to me, and I walked casually towards my piano to play a song with the opening act.

**BPOV**

These last two weeks had been pure torture. When Edward told me that we had been spotted and were going to be on the cover of some weekly rag, little did I know the trouble it was going to cause our already fragile relationship. Edward hated the press and was visibly angry at the increased attention he was now getting in response to him having a girlfriend. Some of the online gossip sites had even speculated that I was his beard and that he was really gay. I saw the changes in Edward's demeanor every day and was dismayed to see him turning back into the hermit that I had heard so much about from Jasper. I wasn't sure if it was because of the cover or if it was really the fact that Victoria had managed to spook him once again.

The photo that Victoria had sent to Rosalie was one from the night of the UCLA Benefit. It wasn't really that current, so I wasn't sure if she knew we were still together, or if it was just a reminder for Edward to steer clear of any woman. He seemed to think it was a direct threat towards me and was demanding that I put in a security alarm in my house. If it had just been a threat of her, I might have pushed back, but with the imminent discovery of our relationship, I wanted to add one to keep the paparazzi hounds out of my house and yard too.

Whenever I tried to bring up Victoria and her restraining order, Edward would shut down and dismiss my probing questions. From the haunted look in his eyes whenever her name was mentioned, I knew there was something deeper and probably darker than he was letting on. It stung a little to know that he had yet to trust me with this, especially since I had left no skeleton in my closet after our discussion about my past. I could only hope that time would allow him to trust me the way that I now had come to trust him.

Sitting out in the box seats that Alice had managed to procure for Edward's concert, I looked around at the varied audience that had come to see him perform. There were teenage girls and their moms sitting in the box next to ours, a group of Red Hat ladies to the left and an older couple cuddling close together in the one behind us. We were only a few rows back from the stage but I could see Carlisle, Emmett, Esme, Rose and Felix in his family's box a few rows ahead. Edward had been so insistent about us not being seen together that when he had brought up tonight's concert to me, I could tell he was hesitant for me to sit in his family's box for fear of us being discovered. Instead of waiting for him to give me the laundry list of why I shouldn't sit there, I told him I'd planned on sitting with Alice just to avoid the daily lectures he had been giving me about keeping our relationship secret. His caginess was starting to drive me a little crazy. Not enough to say that I wasn't going to miss the heck out of him for the next two months while he was out on tour, but enough to long for the day after his birthday when we were happy and free with our feelings.

"Earth to Bella..." Alice's voice rang out next to my ear rousing me from my musings.

"Sorry, just lost in thought for a minute," I confessed.

"Wanna share what's on your mind? Jasper will be gone for a while. He had to pee and went to grab us some beers." She bounced over to the seat next to me and waited patiently for me to explain what was rolling around in my head.

"I just don't know what's going on with Edward and me. You know?" I tilted my head showing my confusion.

"What do you mean? He loves you, you love him…" She threw me a look knowing that I was about to protest her proclamation that we loved each other already. "You know you do, you know he does, so shut up and let me finish," she chided before continuing with her thought. "Have you talked to him about whatever's bugging you? God, you two are completely inept at the art of conversation, seriously." She huffed, knowing that when we got together our conversations never dipped much below the surface, hoping to avoid the deep dark undercurrents that ran beneath us both.

"We just rarely get to spend time with each other that it seems a waste to get into some big emotional discussion," I whined, watching as the lights in the amphitheatre dimmed a few times letting us know that the concert was going to start soon.

"So what's the discussion that you're currently avoiding this week?" she asked matter-of-factly, not letting me get away with my own bullshit answer.

"Fine. I just don't understand why he's so against us going public. It's going to happen eventually if we stay together much longer, so why is he forcing all this cloak and dagger shit? I'm just getting really tired of not being able to be with my boyfriend." I let out a frustrated sigh and felt Alice's arm encircle my waist into a warm hug that I didn't know I needed until she gave it to me.

"So talk to him. He's leaving tomorrow morning and won't be back until Labor Day weekend, it's now or never honey."

"I know Alice… I know…" I sighed before turning my attention to the stage where Edward's opening act had started playing.

I knew Edward had a little time before he was due to come on stage and could imagine him wearing a hole in the rug, pacing back and forth across his dressing room. Deciding to send him a text, I grabbed my phone out of my purse and typed.

_Take a deep breath and relax. You're going to be great. XO B_

It was only a couple of minutes before my phone vibrated in my hand.

_How do you do that? Know the exact thing I needed to hear. Gotta run. See you after the show? Operation bait and switch, right? XO E_

I smiled at the thought of knowing my man so well that I could anticipate his pre-performance jitters. A frown crossed my face briefly knowing that we were going to be doing another cloak and dagger operation so that I would get to go home with him unnoticed. I didn't need him to know how much I hated the secrecy of it all right before he performed and instead typed a more positive reaction.

_You're on. See you soon. Can't wait. XO B_

Five minutes later my hunky man was wowing the crowd by joining the opening band to play piano on some new song they were releasing soon.

"Bella! Come on, we need to get you into that limo so that it can go and pick up Edward." Alice was almost shouting at me through the din of the crowd as we made our way to the entrance of the Hollywood bowl.

The concert had been amazing and I was sure that Edward's tour was going to be a huge success based on the scaled down version we saw tonight. The show stopping fireworks that occurred after his final encore also helped with the mystique of the evening. Alice was tugging me down the steep slope as I tried not to fall down in the crowd that was also trying to hurriedly leave the venue. Operation Bait and Switch, as Edward named it, required me to get into a limo with Jasper and Alice only to have the limo drive up the hill, drop Jasper and Alice off at their car and to continue on back behind the shell to pick up Edward. People wouldn't notice us getting into one of the many limos lined up in front and hopefully no one would see me sitting patiently in the back of the limo waiting for Edward to escape.

I knew tonight was our last for almost two months and I wanted to make it count. The sexy lingerie that Alice made me buy would hopefully only remain on for a few minutes in the heat of passion. While amazing sex was at the forefront of my mind, Alice's words were stuck on repeat in the deep recesses of my subconscious. I knew that we had been avoiding so many topics due to his imminent departure and unfortunately for us time had finally run out. We needed to talk about us and where we were going. Two months was a long time for a budding relationship, not to mention one where my boyfriend was an international superstar that had women throwing their thongs at him on a nightly basis. My self confidence was okay, but I wasn't so sure how I would handle the first time I saw a picture of him in a compromising position that was actually an innocent act. I trusted Edward completely but for some reason him leaving was making me irrationally question it.

Suddenly I could hear the screams of hundreds of women and knew that Edward was on his way. I pushed myself to the very back of the limo, sitting on the side of the door, hoping to avoid being seen. A moment later Edward fell into the car with the door slamming closed behind him. Looking up at me through disheveled hair and obnoxiously long eyelashes, Edward grinned like a child who just got away with a stolen cookie.

"Hi baby," he drawled seductively, crawling down the length of the seat to where I was.

"Hey," I replied nonchalantly trying not to laugh at him prowling down the limo seats at me as if I were his next meal.

Unfortunately I was suddenly overcome with the case of the giggles. I wasn't sure if it was the intense look on his face or his long body's attempt at crawling on the narrow seats but I couldn't stop laughing.

He jerked upright with my laughter looking at me confused. "Was it something I said?" The tone of his voice letting me know that he was in a cheerful mood and not holding my fit against me.

"I'm…. I'm sorry Edward… I don't know why I'm laughing," I gasped, trying to control my breathing. Taking deep gulps of air, I was about to speak when Edward's mouth descended on mine, taking what breath I had away.

"I've missed you so much baby…" His kisses were slow and deliberately placed moving slowly down to my collarbone turning my insides to mush.

"God Edward, I've missed you too…"I hummed against him.

I could feel the car's movement jostling us from side to side as he started to tug on my tank top, pulling it swiftly over my head. His hands immediately began caressing my nipples through the satin of my bra.

"Edward…" I moaned. "What are you doing? Garrett?" I questioned, not able to form a complete coherent sentence and could only hope Edward would grasp my meaning.

"The privacy window is up. Haven't you ever had the fantasy of doing it in the back of a limo?" he asked almost shyly, revealing that he was the one with the fantasy.

"No, not really, but seeing as we only have tonight, we better make use of all the time we have, right?" I teased suggestively; trying to keep the emotions that were bubbling just under the surface reigned in.

Growling at my response, Edward lunged at me, quickly ridding me of the remainder of my clothes. My hands weren't working as fast as his, but managed to remove his clothes shortly thereafter. He moved down and began running his tongue through my lips before inserting his fingers into my wet core. He was alternating using his mouth and fingers as the tension began escalating in my belly.

"God that mouth of yours is pure magic," I moaned as he quickly used it to bring me over the edge.

"I'm here all night and the eleven o'clock show is completely different…" he mumbled into my stomach as he was kissing his way back up my torso.

Smacking him lightly on the head, I laughed at his teasing words. "You don't plan on repeating this performance for anyone else while you're away now do you?" I asked timidly, trying to maintain a light lilt in my voice.

Glancing up from where his mouth was currently working on my left breast, his emerald gaze suddenly turned steely and penetrated into my own.

"Are you serious?" he growled before sitting up quickly. "Are you actually asking me if I plan on being faithful to you?" He was pissed. There was a distinct blue vein popping out of his forehead and his cheeks were flushing a bright red.

I backed away from him slightly; shocked to see him so worked up at my innocent question. "God, Edward. Don't get pissed off. I was kidding." I tried backpedaling, not wanting him to think I didn't trust him, because I knew deep down I did implicitly.

"Fuck Bella, you were not." His hands were tugging at his already overworked hair before he hastily grabbed his clothes and started getting dressed. He threw my clothes at me once he was done, moving to sit on the other side of the limo. Grabbing the scotch out of the built in bar, he poured himself three fingers full and downed it in one big gulp.

"Jesus Bella, do you really have such little trust in me to think that I would cheat on you? Have I _ever_ fucking given you a reason to think that?" He was seething with anger and I didn't know what to do to placate him.

"Of course I trust you Edward. I didn't mean it like that. I was joking," I explained, tears beginning to spill down my cheeks.

"Bella, I love you. I mean _really_ fucking love you and you pull this shit the night before I'm leaving?" He shook his head looking down at his feet dejectedly. I wanted to press myself up against his side and whisper my own reciprocal love to him, but knew that I had blown the moment with my deep seeded insecurity.

"I'm sorry Edward," I whispered, not able to look at his beautifully sad face one second longer.

"How are we going to make it if you have such little faith in me?" I could barely hear him over the din of the car and the traffic outside.

I knew that I needed to be the one to reassure him, since I was the one that just tore down all that he had helped to build up. He was constantly soothing my fears and it was time for me to man up and be the support he needed.

The dim light in the car made Edward look even more like the young boy who loved me from afar. It broke my heart to see how fragile he really was. I always thought of him as the strong rock in this relationship, never questioning that it was always going to work out and I hated seeing him question that.

I moved over and knelt down in front of him, as close as I could get without touching him. It felt like I was trying my best not to spook a scared animal.

"Edward…" I whispered, taking a deep breath, trying to make my mouth say the words that my heart already felt. "I…. I…. I love you too." I stuttered finally after a few melodramatic attempts.

It was his sparkling jade eyes that I saw first when he looked up from under his mop of hair. "You do?" he asked timidly, looking unsure that he heard me correctly.

"I do and I don't doubt you or us, I'm so sorry it came out like that…" I wept, nodding in affirmation of his question.

Placing his strong hands on the sides of my face, he brought his face down and kissed me so gently it only made me weep harder.

"Baby, we need to trust each other. These next couple months are going to be hard and I'm going to miss you more than I can even express…" I flung my arms around his neck and kissed every part of his face that I could before his hands tugged on my shoulders to stop my physical apology.

"I know you're sorry, and so am I for overreacting a little bit… I'm just so nervous about tomorrow and we haven't seen each other enough and…"

"Hey, calm down." I ran my hands down his shoulders and arms to try and soothe him. My hands seemed to have a mind of their own as they fell down to his firm thighs. Tugging on the waistband of his pants, I unfastened the button and slowly slid the zipper down.

"Bella…" Edward moaned as I reached inside to pull both his pants and boxers back off. His cock was semi hard as my hand began to slowly stroke it to its full length.

The lights of the Pacific Coast Highway were zooming by and I realized that if I was going to get him off, I would need to do it quickly as we were nearing Malibu.

My mouth and hands made fast work of his erection, deep throating him while fondling his balls until he exploded with only a few minutes to spare.

He gave me a chaste kiss as I pulled his pants back up and tucked him back in.

We both looked in disgust at the throng of photographers that were still camped out in front of his gate. Garrett made his way through the crowd slowly before pulling into Edward's garage and closing the automatic door. We stepped out of the car knowing that we were safe from prying eyes. Garrett left quickly after giving Edward a nod and a reminder that he would be here at seven to take him to his tour bus.

We had barely made it inside his back door when Edward pushed me firmly up against the wall. His body was pressed up so close to mine that I could feel his rejuvenated erection pressing against my thigh. "It's been way too long since you've been in my bed…" he growled in my ear before throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me up the stairs.

**EPOV**

Sitting on my tour bus, my home for the next couple of months, all I could think about how beautiful Bella looked sleeping in my bed when I left this morning.

We had made love all night, whispering reassurances that we both needed to hear, allowing our bodies to reaffirm our love for one another in ways that neither of us could ever seem to verbalize.

I hadn't been on this damn bus for more than a half hour and all I wanted to do was turn it around and go back home. My body had been physically telling me for over a week that it couldn't bear to be without Bella. I hadn't been sleeping and had suffered though more anxiety attacks than I had in a long time. Only now my body was telling me emotionally as well. I wasn't the crying sort, but all morning my eyes had been brimming with moisture. Emmett called me a pansy over my cup of coffee before I left but still promised to keep an eye on my girl for me. I had given Bella his number and told her to use it whenever she felt threatened or needed to get a hold of me quickly. Emmett would be taking her home later today, as it would be too suspicious should she leave in a limo after I had already left.

Her silky alabaster skin was still fresh on my mind as I watched the scenery fly by the window. We had both been so needy last night that our love making vacillated from fast and furious to slow and sensual. At around three AM we were spooning together when I asked to take her from behind. She contemplated it for a minute but conceded noticing how dark the room was. In the dim light I could barely see her marked flesh but it only made me love her more knowing what a strong person she was. We climaxed together after I pulled her into my lap while I was on my knees behind her. The thought of her throwing her head back against my shoulder in the throes of passion made me smile wistfully out the window. This was going to be a long two months.

"Mr. Masen, can you come up here for a second?" Demitri, my bus driver yelled back to me.

Making my way down the narrow path towards the front of the bus I saw a manila envelope sitting on the seat right behind the driver and my heart began to race. The envelope looked entirely too familiar for my liking.

"Sir, this was left for you. I forgot to give it to you when you first boarded, sorry." He nodded towards the offending package, never taking his eyes off the road.

"Thanks Demitri. How long till we hit San Fran?" I asked, trying my best to distract my mind from the pounding of my heart inside my chest.

"About six hours depending on traffic. Sit tight and we'll get you guys there as soon as we can."

I slowly walked towards the seating area at the very back of the bus seeking some privacy for what I was about to open. The tan leather seats were thankfully unoccupied by any of the other band mates as I sat down. Holding the envelope between both my hands I couldn't help but wonder what Victoria could possibly be up to now. I was out of town and unless she planned on following me around from city to city, I couldn't figure out what the point of this package could be.

Sliding my finger under the flap, I tore it open revealing another 8x10 photo only this time it appeared to be Bella being helped into someone's car. The man was holding open the door and giving Bella his hand allowing her to step gracefully into the front seat of what I assumed was his car. In the bottom right corner, 'ENJOY YOUR TOUR' was scrawled in messy handwriting. My brain immediately jumped to ask, 'who the hell's car is Bella getting in to'. Before I could let my imagination wander in the direction of being cheated on I remembered Bella saying that she had to go to an on-location gig last week and went with her sound engineer Philip. He didn't live too far and so they drove together. Unfortunately it was only a split second of happiness at my deduction because when I took a closer look at the photo I realized something that made my blood run cold in my veins.

Victoria knew where Bella lived.

**A/N**

_Thanks for reading – I really appreciate it and hope that you'll review if you have the chance. They really do help me gauge where I'm going with the story. If you have a thought, suggestion or even complaint, let me know. At least I know you're reading along. _

_I have some recommendations this week – and a little self promotion as well._

_**Life and the Search for my Missing Mojo**____– this is my one-shot I wrote when I had a little writers block for this story – you can find the link in my profile. Please leave a review and let me know what you thoughts are._

_**The Cullen Campaign**__ by belladonna1472_

_**The Misapprehension of Bella Swan**__ by hunterhunting_

_**Tips for Better Living**__ by adorablecullens_


	13. Lonestar

_**A/N – **_

_Thanks to everyone who's still reading along. I'd love a few more reviews as the last chapter I only got a couple. But I won't beg more than that. _

_This one is a bit shorter than the rest, but It wasn't planned, Bella just sort of took me here._

_Big thank you to my beta __**Blackjacklily**__ – she's the best!_

_Thanks to my Twilighted beta – __**Totoro**_

**Lonestar**

**BPOV**

_Doors, lots and lots of doors, and they all looked exactly the same. I was running past them at a high rate of speed when one suddenly opened. I stopped and turned to peer inside; hoping that nothing sinister lay before me. A broken bed looking old and tired sat at the far edge of the room, but it was the man standing in the other corner that garnered my interest._

"_Bella…" the ghost moaned, beckoning me with a flick of his wrist. "Come here, my child…"_

"_Da…Daddy, what are you doing here?" I stuttered, shaking my head and feeling afraid of a man I should not have feared._

"_I said come here!" he shouted, morphing before my eyes in a burst of flames into a molten version of Edward. _

"_No!" I wailed, unable to comprehend what had happened. _

"_Bella…" I heard a far off voice calling to me. "Bella, wake up."_

I awoke with a start, the blankets and sheet swirled around my legs, making me feel trapped and tied down to the bed. It took me a few moments to realize that Emmett was sitting on the far corner of the bed, rubbing one of my feet through the blankets.

"Bella, you were having a nightmare. I didn't mean to barge in here like this," he apologized, speaking away from my body. It was at that moment that I realized that while my legs were tangled in blankets, my torso was not, leaving me naked from neck to waist. Grabbing the sheet in haste, I yanked it up and snuggled down beneath it before thanking Emmett for waking me.

"Edward called a few minutes ago and asked that I come and see if you were awake. When I heard you shouting I came in to see that everything was alright." Emmett was blushing, his entire profile lit up in bright hues of red.

"Thanks, Emmett, I didn't mean to startle you. I'm fine. Was Edward going to call back or…?" I asked, letting the question hang in the air.

"Oh, yeah. He said he'd call back in a few minutes. Just answer the phone next to you when it rings. He called my cell since he knew I was awake."

"God, is that the time?" The clock on the bedside table read eleven and I was about to hop out of bed when I remembered my state of undress.

"Yeah, you must have been pretty tired…" he joked, turning his head slightly to show me his childlike grin that led me to believe that while we had _tried_ to be somewhat quiet in our late night activities, we weren't all that successful at it.

"Um, yeah, we were up kinda late," I sheepishly admitted, looking down at my hands fiddling with the sheet.

"Tell me about it. I heard you guys until about four when I finally knocked off."

"Shit. Sorry, Emmett." I could feel the blush that was on Emmett's face only moments ago retreat onto my own.

"No worries. Poor Eddie has had to listen to me countless times in the past, it's only fair." He smirked before standing up and heading towards the door. "Did you want to talk about your nightmare?"

"Huh? Oh… no, I'm fine. Thanks." There was no way I was sharing the fact that my father was melting into his brother in my dream. It just seemed a little too personal.

"Okay, little B. Edward made me promise to feed you and take you home when you're ready. I'll be down by the pool. Just come get me when you want to go."

"Little B?" I laughed at his nickname for me. It sounded like something a big brother would have tagged me with if I wasn't an only child. It felt familiar and sweet, even though I didn't really know the hulking man before me.

"Yeah, it just sorta fits you. I figure you're gonna be around a bunch, and I'm not one for calling people by their proper names." He smirked before shutting the door behind him. The phone on the bedside table rang, startling me even though I knew it was coming.

"Hello?"

"Hi, baby, how are you this morning?" he asked in a low voice.

"I'm good. A little sore, a little tired, and a little lonely, but okay otherwise." I snuggled down into his bed, happy to be hearing his voice so soon after he left. We had promised to talk to each other at least once a day while he was gone, but this seemed to be awfully soon.

"Sore? Did I hurt you?" His voice was laced with concern.

"What? No, you didn't hurt me. I only meant sore in the good way of sore. I feel thoroughly ravished after last night and my lady parts will definitely be missing you for the next couple months." I was smiling at the thought of the numerous orgasms I had, not to mention the numerous times we fucked and made love throughout the night.

"Only your lady parts?" He chuckled before continuing. "Because all of me will be missing every square inch of you… actually, to be honest, I already do." He sounded so sad and we had only been apart for five hours. This was going to be one long summer.

"So to what do I owe this call? Or did you just miss me that much?" I teased playfully, wanting to know the real reason behind his call. I could tell by the sound of his voice that there was more to him just calling to hear my voice.

"Well… umm…" He was stalling.

"Spit it out, Edward. What's going on?" By now I knew that when Edward was at a loss for words it usually was a bad sign.

"Victoria sent me another note."

"Fuck. What did it say?" My irritation with that woman could not be hidden in my tone.

"It was a picture of you getting into some guy's car in front of your house and the message said 'enjoy your tour'.

"Is she implying that I'm cheating on you? Because you know that's total bullshit, right, Edward?" My temper swelled up from inside me, making me shake with anger.

I heard Edward let out a big sigh before responding, sounding crestfallen. "I know you're not cheating on me, baby. I don't know if that's what she was implying or not, but I know you better than that, and I believe the picture was taken when Phillip took you to your gig last week. I was calling about the note because it was the fact that she now knows where you live that is causing me to panic." He rushed through the last part of his statement, sending a wave of horror through my body.

"Fuck. What are we going to do, Edward?" My voice sounded loud and shrill in my own ears.

"Well… your security system is in place, so that should help, but I don't want you to feel like a sitting duck either." I could imagine him raking his hand through his hair. "What do you think we should do?"

"God, I don't know. I don't want to let that crazy bitch get the satisfaction of scaring me. Is there a reason that I should be afraid of her, Edward? I mean I know she drew a knife on you, but should I be worried about anything else?" There was a nagging thought in the back of my head that Edward hadn't told me all there was to tell about his experience with Victoria, and I was trying to let him off the hook with my question.

"Just don't underestimate her. She's completely delusional." He spoke in hushed tones, still not letting on anymore than he did the first time he told me the story.

"Damn it, Edward, is that it? You're holding back, I know it. So if my life is in any way in danger, you need to tell me," I huffed, getting annoyed with his dancing around the subject.

"Bella, I _cannot _talk about that right now. I'm sorry, but I'm on a bus with six other guys who I don't wish to hear about this. So yes, I'm asking you to take my word that you shouldn't underestimate her. She _is_ dangerous. How dangerous, I don't know, but she is. Please trust me with this and when I get to my hotel later tonight I'll tell you about it. Okay?" He was pleading with me in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Fine, I'll talk to you later." I knew hanging up on him was childish, but I was scared and angry. I was tired of being a pawn in some sick game of chess. A game where it felt like someone wasn't telling me all of the rules.

Dragging myself out of his bed, I sifted through my overnight bag to find a comfortable pair of yoga pants and an old t-shirt of Edward's that he gave me to sleep in a while back. The mirror in the bathroom reflected the fact that I hadn't slept much. It wasn't just last night either. The nightmares had started up again, only now Edward had a starring role in them. I slept fine when I was wrapped in his warm embrace, but if I was alone my brain flooded me with thoughts that felt a little like Alice going down the rabbit hole. I was being haunted by my own subconscious. It had been like this for a couple of years after the accident. I had turned into an insomniac, fearing the ghouls that would come out and play at my expense at night. Splashing some cold water on my face, I quickly brushed my teeth before descending down to let Emmett know I was ready to go home.

I waited all day for Edward to call me back. I knew that his schedule was tight, and would be for quite a while, but the fact that he said he would call and hadn't yet was beginning to piss me off even more than I already was. I knew that I loved Edward dearly, but ever since meeting him my life has begun to feel like it wasn't my own. Sure, I got up and did everything I normally did, but now I was always on high alert. Not only for Victoria, but the fear of paparazzi was ingrained in my head at Edward's insistence. It was utterly exhausting and I was hoping that with Edward gone for a couple months I could get my life back, but now with Victoria's message, I knew that would not be the case.

My body and mind had finally had enough and I snuggled into bed early hoping to get a good night's sleep, especially after yesterday evening's activities. I quickly succumbed to sleep in the warmth and softness of my pillow top bed. Of course as Murphy would have it, about ten minutes later Edward called.

"Hello?" I mumbled into the phone, my head still groggy from my quick cat nap.

"Bella, did I wake you?" Edward's velvety voice asked and made me suddenly very lonely.

"Sort of, I had just nodded off." I was about to inquire how the trip was going before I remembered that I was mad at him and needed him to grovel a bit.

"I'm sorry... I don't have a lot of time, but promised you I'd call."

"Well, you fulfilled your promise, thanks a lot." The sarcasm was dripping off of my words as my exhaustion and the day's frustration got the better of me.

"Bella, please don't be upset with me. I have to go on stage in a little bit and I wanted to hear your voice. " He" He sounded just as frustrated as I was.

"Edward, you know why I'm upset, and you also know that I have every right to be. I've been extremely patient with you. If you are just calling to tell me good night, then good night. If you want to chat, then I'm all ears." I tugged the covers up higher over my shoulders as if trying to bury my wounded feelings underneath the downy duvet.

"I'm really sorry, Bella, but I don't have time to get into the whole story now and you'll be long asleep when I'm done with my show. What would you have me do?"

"What would I have you do?" I shouted, jerking my body upright. "Maybe telling me all of this before you're hundreds of miles away? I don't know, something as simple as that?" I raged, feeling my face get hot with anger. My temper was unbridled and I was too exhausted to fight it any longer.

"Bella, it's more complicated than just a simple conversation. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, Edward! Just tell me or go. I don't have the energy to fight you any more tonight." Looking down at my hand clutching the blanket on my lap, I could see it trembling, causing the fabric to shake under my grasp.

With a big sigh I heard Edward whisper, "Good night, Bella, I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you."

He hung up before I could reciprocate the term of affection.

Fuck…

I didn't sleep at all that night. Instead, I let my head fill with dangerous thoughts of my breaking heart.

_**A/N**_

_Thanks for reading along. Yes, Bella and Edward are both boneheads – each dealing with stress and exhaustion in different ways. Hopefully the next chapter won't be too far behind._

_Thanks again for those who have put this on alert or as a favorite. I love seeing your reviews and alerts pop up in my inbox. Makes my day!_

_I'm going to pimp out my o/s again – it's probably going to be better liked by the over 30 crowd. Just saying._

_**Life and the Search for my Missing Mojo**. It's in my profile if you're inclined to read it._


	14. Time after Time

_**A/N – **_

_Happy 4__th__ to my American readers! Hope you had a grand weekend!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own it, just playing around._

_Thanks to all my readers, I appreciate you all so much and hope you will leave me a quick review and let me know what you think._

_Big thank you to my beta __**Blackjacklily**__ – she's the best and got this to me even on a holiday weekend._

_Thanks to my Twilighted beta – __**Totoro**_

**Time after Time**

**BPOV**

12:33…

1:21…

2:47…

3:16…

After staring at my clock all night long, night after night through blurred vision, I had had enough.

I had waited, patiently waited, for Edward to talk to me. And not just talk to me, but _talk_ to me. He had hummed and hawed his way through two weeks and I had finally had enough. I hadn't slept much in that fortnight and my brain was barely functioning. It was causing concern by not only Alice, but my bosses at work had noticed my sullen mood even as I tried to fake it from five to ten every morning. Work these days seemed to be just that, work. It took every ounce of effort to smile and be cordial to my coworkers and the pompous, over-styled, over-paid, prima donna artists that I had to interview. It felt like walking straight into slavery. Alice was my only saving grace, never letting me settle into my sour moods without some kind of snarky comment to break up the monotony.

I threw back my covers and stumbled into the shower to try and wake my exhausted ass up.

"Bella, you have a call on line two," I heard Alice say through my headset.

"Who is it?" I mouthed back to her, shrugging my shoulders in an effort to show that I wasn't expecting a call. Any personal calls I received would be on my mobile phone and not the station's line. The hairs on the back of my neck rose as I started wondering if Victoria was finally going to make a move.

"Jane Parson, Moonlight Communications," she replied after asking the caller.

_Shit, Jane Parson? What could she possibly want? _I thought to myself, trying to figure out why she would need to contact me.

"Hello?" I replied, my voice sounding weak and vulnerable in my own ears. _God I am tired…_

"Isabella? It's Jane, Jane Parson from Moonlight Communications?"

"Yes, hi, Jane, how are you?" I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, hating that I had no idea why she would be calling me.

"I'm well, thanks. I know you are on the air right now and don't have long to speak, but I didn't have your mobile number. I was wondering if you weren't busy today, could you meet me at my office for a little lunch meeting? Say around eleven thirty, noonish?"

"Um, sure, I'm free today after my show. I can come by. Is there something you needed?" I asked, curious about what could be so important that she had to reach me today.

"We'll talk about that when you get here. We're on 1750 Vine, North of Hollywood. My office is on the tenth floor. Park in the underground structure and I'll make sure it gets validated. See you in a few hours then?" She spoke quickly, knowing that the commercial break and news portion of my show was almost up.

"Sure, thanks. I'll see you then. Bye." Quickly writing down the address, I figured I'd ask Alice later how best to get there from downtown. Even after living here for over a year, I wasn't that familiar with Hollywood.

After hanging up, I only had a moment to think about what she might want before Alice's voice was in my headset again telling me it was time for me to go back on.

"So what did Jane Parson want?" Alice asked me as we walked towards our cars after work.

"Don't know actually. We're having lunch today, so I'll let you know later." She looked off in the distance, deep in thought.

"Hmmm… she's a very powerful woman. I'm interested in hearing what she has to say to you," she mumbled, looking pensive.

"Want to come over for dinner tonight? I can tell you all about it and we can have a little girl time?" I sounded needy, begging for her company. It was like this a lot lately. I hated being alone in my house at night. Edward had offered up his house, as Emmett was still staying there, but I didn't want to add another half hour to my predawn commute. _Suck it up Swan_. That seemed to my current mantra as I stood waiting for Alice's response.

"Sure, I'll let Jasper know he's on his own for dinner. What time do you want me, and what should I bring?"

"How about five and bring some wine. I'll make something Italian?" I asked, quirking my head to the side, inquiring about her meal preference.

"Sounds divine. See you then. Bye, love." She gave me a quick friendly embrace before skipping off to her little red roadster.

Thankfully it was mid-day and not rush hour, though it still took me a little over a half hour to reach Hollywood. Straightening my rumpled outfit from the ride over, I took the elevator up to the tenth floor.

The reception area was directly in front of the bank of elevators and surrounded by softly frosted glass walls, hiding the office space behind. A bored looking receptionist took my name and called back to Jane's office.

"She'll be up to get you in a moment," she mumbled before resuming the text conversation on her phone.

"Isabella, so good to see you again!" Jane exclaimed, holding out her hand to shake mine.

"Please, call me Bella. Good to see you too, Jane," I replied, plastering an uneasy smile onto my face.

"I hope traffic wasn't too bad?" she inquired, walking back through a maze of cubicles towards her corner office.

"No, not bad, just the usual LA traffic." She stepped into her office and held the door for me to enter. The office had an astounding view of the Hollywood sign and the strip below. The day happened to be light on smog and the hillside was still green from a rain shower we had had recently. "Wow, you have a great view from up here," I mentioned, walking towards the tinted thick panes of glass.

"It _is_ one of the perks." She smiled wryly as she gestured for me to take a seat in the chair opposite of her desk. She sat down elegantly in her high back swivel chair and looked over at me inquisitively.

"Bella, I have a bit of a proposition for you, but first, I'd like to order some lunch. I'm going to order from the deli across the street, here's the menu. Let me know what you'd like." She handed me a well used wrinkled menu that had Trivoli Deli written across the top.

"The Chicken Caesar is fine, thanks," I answered, handing her back the menu.

"Drink?"

"A coke would be great." I knew that I would need all the caffeine I could get to make it through the day. I'd been surviving on multiple cups of coffee these days. Not great for the central nervous system, but at least it kept me alert enough to make it until the evening.

"Bonnie, can you get us a Chicken Ceaser, a Ruben on rye, a coke and an iced tea from Trivoli?" She asked her assistant over the phone.

"That should be here in about twenty minutes, just enough time for us to have a good chat first." She stood up and sat down in the chair next to me. "Bella, I think I have an opportunity for you outside of radio."

My jaw dropped. She was offering me a job? My mouth opened and shut without any sound escaping. I heard Jane chuckle at my speechlessness, but continued.

"Now what I'm offering isn't set in stone, you would need to do a screen test, but I think you're going to absolutely shine."

"Screen test?" I was utterly confused by her comments. What did this have to do with me?

"I'm sorry. I got a little ahead of myself, didn't I?" She smiled apologetically. "I'll start at the beginning. We got the go ahead to produce a new show for our network for the Fall season. It's called Virtuoso and we're marketing it to go up against Idol. It'll be a bit different as it's going to be about new singers who are also songwriters instead of that karaoke crap they do on A.I. Our casting director chose a supermodel host who unfortunately just found out that she's pregnant and is apparently too vain to be seen on television while preggers. Her loss in my opinion, but that's neither here nor there." She added, waving her hand around facetiously. "Which brings me to my point. Since she has decided to leave us, I thought you would be a perfect replacement. You have the quick thinking that hosts of a show like this need and the beauty to back that wit up. You background knowledge of music is an added bonus. What do you think?" I was stunned. My eyes felt like they were bugging out like a cartoon character. She wanted _me_ to host a television program? What?

"Bella?" She was sitting there patiently waiting for my response.

"Wow, I'm just a bit shocked. That's not what I was expecting." My head kept shaking side to side, as if trying to wake myself from a dream. It took me about twenty seconds to realize that there was no way I could actually take it.

"Bella, I know you have some reservations, but I really think you would be amazing." She was trying to sell me on the job and for once in my life I wish I could go back five years and take it without having to think twice.

"I can't tell you how much I appreciate you thinking of me, Jane, but…" She put her hand up to stop my rejection, looking at me seriously.

"Is this about the accident?"

_Hold the fucking phone…. _

"I'm sorry, what?" My brain just couldn't comprehend that she knew.

"Your accident, Bella, I know all about it." Her attitude was way too calm and cool for me. My temper was boiling up inside me at how callus she was about invading my privacy.

"Where the fuck do you come off?" I seethed, standing up so quickly that the chair I was in almost tumbled backwards. Pacing back and forth across her office, I felt like a caged animal. I watched as Jane stood up and leaned back against the front of her desk, waiting for my tirade to dwindle.

"I wouldn't have gotten to where I am without being smart and doing my due diligence. I know all about you, just like I knew all about Edward before I signed him. Now please sit down and let me explain." She waved her hand dismissively back towards the chair I had just leapt out of.

My anger was causing me to shake uncontrollably. I was throwing her my best pissed off face; she had perfected her smooth unimpressed look. I sat down in a huff and drummed my fingers on the armchair, waiting for her explanation of digging into a past I wanted to all but forget.

"Bella, when I started at this company, I was just another scout for new talent. I worked my ass off to find the best that LA had to offer. The first couple of artists I signed ended up being utter failures. Do you know why? Because I didn't do my homework. They were great musicians, but one had a nasty heroin habit and the other was a criminal. It bit me in the ass and my bosses were not impressed. So I made a pact with myself to always know my clientele. So _yes_, I'm sorry that I learned about something unfortunate in your past, but now that I do know about it, we can work around it. It's a non issue. Do you understand?" She leaned back against her desk and began tapping her Louboutin heal against the cherry wood front.

I was floored. I was still extremely upset about her methods, but once she explained it to me, I could empathize with her. I knew how hard it was to be taken seriously as a woman in certain jobs, mine was one of them. I didn't say anything for a long time, choosing to just look out at her view of the Hollywood hills and contemplate what she was offering me.

"_So what…_ you're trying to turn me into the next Ryan _fucking_ Seacrest?" The words came tumbling out of my mouth in spite. I hated that guy.

"That pompous windbag? No way. He's actually the reason I can't watch that damn show. You're nothing like him, and I think you'll win over not only Idol fans, but the ones who refuse the watch that show because of him." She was grinning at me and I couldn't tell if it was because I was fighting back or showing interest in her proposition.

"I need a little time to think this over. I'm really angry right now, and I don't handle my temper well," I said as calmly as I could while my trembling body was bottling up my rage.

"Take your time, but I do need to know in the next few days…" Just as she was about to continue, a knock at the door interrupted us.

"Here's your lunch," a tall bottle blonde said, placing a large brown bag and two soda cans on the round table in the corner of her office.

"Thanks, Bonnie," she replied before tilting her head towards the table and taking a seat at the far end.

"Please, Bella, sit. Let's have lunch and get to know one another." She started pulling out the containers with our food and placing them down in front of the both of us. "Now I know you have some physical damage from the accident, but we can work around that. We have an amazing costume department and we'll handle it discreetly. We would still need to discuss your screen test as well, should you decide this is something you're interested in…" She was quite the salesperson, and the charisma that oozed out of her pores was causing my interest to rise and my ire to wane.

"I don't know, Jane. It all sounds great on paper, but I have a job, and if I take this and the show is a flop, I'm left unemployed and a show's failure on my head… Why do you think I'm the one anyhow?" I asked, taking a bite of my salad.

"I already told you about my affection towards your morning show. I really wouldn't make the commute from Brentwood to here without your chatter in the background every morning. I'm not just trying to stoke your ego either. You're clever and so very quick on your feet. The interview you did with Bobby Long was brilliant. He was a bit combative and you just soothed him over with some witty snark and some intelligent questions. I really think that your personality and your beauty would be a winning combination for this show. I didn't pick the original host, but she was a vapid and boring woman who couldn't talk her way out of a paper bag. You on the other hand would charm the pants right off of that bag. " She stopped talking to take a large bite of her sandwich that was quickly followed by a swallow of her tea.

"I'm really flattered, Jane, really I am, but I haven't been in front of a camera since my junior project at UW. I'm not even sure I remember how to read off of a teleprompter anymore."

"Why don't we find out then? Finish up your lunch and we'll head downstairs for a quick screen test. You can watch the play back and make a decision then. How about that?" Man this woman was a hard sell. She wanted me so bad and for the first time in a very long time, I wanted something just as bad. When I originally went into broadcast journalism, I wanted to be a hard news reporter or anchor, but after working on radio and doing interviews, I really liked the variety of my job and this hosting gig sounded like it might be something interesting as well.

"Alright, I'm up for the screen test. If I decide I'm interested, we'll need to talk schedules and salary. I'd like to continue doing my morning show until we find out if this show has any legs or not. Is that something you think we can work with?" The smile that beamed from Jane's face gave me my answer.

Forty five minutes later I was heading to my car in the parking garage. I had decided after seeing my screen test to push my comfort zone a little bit and go for it. We were having a meeting later in the week to go over the contract's specifics, but for the first time in a very long time I felt free. My mind was reeling over the fact that I was actually going to be on television. My dream that I had given up four years ago seemed within my grasp at long last. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't see danger until it was right smack in front of me.

"Isabella, to what do I owe the honor of your presence?" I could hear the sneer before I saw it. Looking up I recognized the smarmy blue eyes that were now staring at me.

"Uh, James, good to see you," I replied as calmly as I could, all the while searching for a quick way around him.

"Really…? Dumped pretty boy yet?" He asked while stalking closer to me, causing the hairs on my arms to stand at attention.

"Nope, not yet." I kept walking toward my car, hoping that he would be satisfied with the answer and go about his business.

"What are you doing in my neck of the woods, fair Isabella? " I had just about reached my car when his hand grabbed my arm and swung me around to face him.

"I… I had a meeting with Jane," I stuttered, trying to wriggle out of his grasp.

"And what did that bitch want with you?" he scoffed, pressing his fingers tighter into my arm.

"Just a lunch meeting. Nothing really. I do have to go now though. Good to see you."

"Isabella, you wound me. Why in such a hurry?" He had tugged me so that I was pressed up between the car and his hard chest. He was trailing his nose up my neck and around the shell of my ear, causing me to wince and shudder at his touch.

The ding of the elevator caused us both to jump, giving me a chance to step out of his reach. I was relieved when I saw Garrett striding across the parking garage towards us.

"What's going on here?" He asked sternly, scowling at James.

"Nothing really, just saying hello to a friend, right, Isabella?" he spat before turning on his heel and going towards the elevator Garrett had just come from.

"Bella, are you okay?" He put a comforting hand on my shoulder and held out his hand to open the door to my car.

"Thanks, Garrett. I'm not really sure what would have happened if you hadn't of shown up. What are you doing here anyhow?" My voice was shaky from the adrenaline coursing through my veins, but I somehow managed to unlock my door and let Garrett usher me inside.

"I work for Moonlight most of the time. Now that Edward isn't in town, I work for other executives and artists." He rubbed my arm, trying to soothe my trembling hands. "Let me know if you want me to report him, Bella. I've seen him in action and I'd love to get that slimy bastard written up for something."

"Um, no. I'm fine. I don't need any more trouble following me around, but thanks." He looked down at me kindly before shutting the door. I gave him a timid smile, putting my car in gear and heading for home. I really wanted to call Edward and share the news, but my fingers just wouldn't dial his number. The distance I felt between us was too painful at the moment. I wished for nothing more than to have him by my side to celebrate this good news. Instead I pulled out my phone and dialed the one person I knew would be ecstatic to hear from me.

"Hey, Alice, it's me, Bella…"

**EPOV**

San Francisco dissolved into Portland. Portland slid into Seattle. Seattle melted into Salt Lake City. Salt Lake City merged into Denver. Denver was now fusing with Chicago.

It had been two weeks and six cities, all of which I could barely remember anything from. My days all seemed to blur into one another. One bus ride to another city and the stages all started looking the same. And they all had one thing in common. No Bella. Well, Bella was with me all the time, but only on my mind or in the brief conversations we would have.

Our relationship seemed to have stalled as soon as my bus rolled out onto the 5 freeway. How I wish I could have turned back and never left, maybe things would still be progressing along nicely. Instead I was now taking anti-anxiety medication again at the insistence of Dr. Banner. One too many late night calls to him to try and talk me down after a particularly bad panic attack. He insisted I tell Bella everything about Victoria if I wanted to continue in a relationship with her. Keeping the secret was only causing me more psychological issues and possibly irreparable damage to my relationship. But I couldn't. Every call after the first one on the bus I had stuttered and stumbled over my words, never able to get them past my dry lips. Bella huffed and pouted and eventually dropped the subject all together. Of course that meant our conversations were now usually short and laced with tension.

I was sitting backstage at the House of Blues waiting to go on. It was my second concert in Chicago and I was glad for a smaller venue for once. I was pacing the area and my band mates knew to leave me alone before the show. I was doing my calming breathing exercises when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

Jasper

I flipped open the phone and answered.

"Hey, man, what's going on?"

"Things are good. How's the tour?" I settled in to a folding chair, thinking how good it was to hear his voice.

"It's going. It feels like one day is exactly the same as the one before it, but alright. It's really good to hear from you," I admitted truthfully.

"Tours are tough. You'll make it through just fine though."

"What are you and Alice up to tonight?"

"Oh, she's over at Bella's for the night. They're celebrating her new gig. I'm on my own drinking a beer and eating some takeout."

"Alice has a new gig? Cool. What is it?" I asked, surprised that she wasn't celebrating with Jasper.

"Um, no. Bella has some new show or something." _What?_

"Really? Huh… I haven't talked to her today…" My heart began to thump wildly in my chest. She has news and didn't call me to tell me yet?

"Oh, sorry, man. I guess I should've waited until you heard it from her. Alice just sort of said she was spending the night at Bella's to celebrate her new job."

"New job? Listen, I gotta call her and see what's going on. Talk to you later?"

"Sure sure, have a good one. Talk to you soon." I hung up and immediately dialed Bella's phone.

"Hello?" I heard the voice that sounded as sweet as honey to my ears.

"Hi, baby, it's me. What's going on?" I asked, hoping she would share the news with me without me asking.

"Hey, hon. I'm hanging with Alice and we're in the middle of dinner. Can I talk to you tomorrow?" Her tone sounded brusque in my ears, as if I was getting the brush off.

"Um, sure. Was there anything you wanted to tell me first?" I hedged, hoping that the damage of the last two weeks wasn't as bad as my brain was suddenly putting together.

"Nope, I gotta go. Talk to you tomorrow. Love you." She hung up. Just like that. I was so fucked.

I immediately knew what I had to do. Our next show wasn't until Boston three days from now and if I had it my way, I would be in LA for two of those.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Peter, my tour manager.

"Peter, do you have a second? I need to talk to you for a minute," I said, hoping that I could get away and make things right between Bella and me.

"Sure, hang on, I'll come up," he replied before ending the call. A couple minutes later there was a knock on my door.

"Peter, I need to ask for a favor…"

The next morning I was sitting on a plane headed for Los Angeles. I would be landing right around when Bella would be getting off work. I had texted Alice to make sure Bella went straight home after, hoping that I could surprise her and we could work everything out. As I sat in my first class seat, thoughts of our time together ran through my mind. I remembered how she felt when I kissed her for the very first time. It was a dream come true and it exceeded my imagination. I remembered each time that we had made love and how I cherished holding her through the night. I desperately needed to make things right so we could move forward. I didn't want a life where Bella wasn't in it.

When the pilot came over the loudspeaker to announce our arrival and that it was sunny and seventy five degrees at ten thirty am, I smiled knowing that I was only an hour or so from seeing my beloved.

Walking briskly towards the exit with my hat pulled low on my head, I stood in line at the taxi queue. I glanced quickly around to see if anyone had noticed my appearance and was glad to have seemingly eluded any paparazzi that were stationed at the airport. My turn came and I told the driver where to take me. I sat back, closed my eyes and tried to enjoy the twenty minute ride up to Santa Monica.

Exiting the car at Bella's address, I was happy to see her little Honda sitting in the driveway. I could only hope that she would be as happy to see me.

My pulse started thumping while I waited for her to answer my knock. This would be a pivotal moment in our relationship and I only wished to not fuck it up more than what I had already done.

"Edward?" Bella screeched upon opening her front door. Flinging herself towards me, she threw her arms around my neck. "What are you doing here?" she asked breathlessly.

"To see you? Make things right?" I whispered in her ear, rubbing my hands across her shoulder blades soothingly. "I'm not too late am I?"

She pulled back and gave me a crooked grin before planting a steamy kiss on my lips.  
"No, you're not too late. In fact, I think you're right on time," she murmured against my neck.

I hugged her close to me, wanting to never let her go.

"Edward!" I heard someone shout from behind me.

We both turned towards the voice and gasped at what we saw. It only took a moment before we both heard the ominous 'Click'.

_**A/N**_

_Okay – don't worry my lovelies, my next chapter is already with my beta, so you won't have to wait long._

_Thanks to everyone for reading, and please drop me a review. I'd love to see 100! They really do make my day when I see an alert come it. And this week, I can send you a little excerpt from Chapter 15!_

_I'm also considering doing a Victoria POV outtake, so let me know if you'd be interested in reading that. I'm not sure I can write crazy, but I'll give it a shot._

_Thanks & see you in a few days!_


	15. Save Me

_**A/N**_

_Disclaimer: I don't own it, just playing around._

_**Warning**__: There is discussion of physical abuse in this chapter. If that bothers you please don't read. It isn't graphic, but I've marked it off with asterisks prior to the section just in case._

_Also there is a lemon alert too – so if you're not over 18 move along…_

_Thanks to all my readers, I appreciate you all so much and hope you will leave me a quick review and let me know what you think._

_Big thank you to my beta __**Blackjacklily**__ – she's the best._

_Thanks to my Twilighted beta – __**Totoro**_

**Save Me**

**EPOV**

"Bella, get inside…" I was all but shoving her inside the heavy wooden door. My tone was serious and threatening.

"Fuck, we're pretty much screwed, aren't we?" she mumbled, walking away from me as I slammed her door shut.

"Shit. I'm sorry, Bella. I swear I looked to see if anyone had caught me leaving the airport." I was shutting the curtains in her front window as I saw the photographer getting back into his car and looking down as if he was texting on his phone.

I watched as she sat down roughly on one of the stools at the breakfast bar in her tiny kitchen. "I suppose it was bound to happen, right?" She gazed up at me with a look of resignation.

Striding over to where she was sitting, I stood between her legs and grazed my fingers over her delicate cheek bones. While my brain was still panicked about getting caught by the paparazzi, my heart was thumping loudly in my chest that I was back where I belonged; in the arms of my beloved. Of course I internally groaned as the second thought to hit my brain was why this trip back was necessary. I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I'm so sorry, love." Hoping that she would understand the sentiment was meant to encompass more than the last few minutes.

"I know, baby…" She wrapped her arms around my waist and held on tight. We stayed tangled together for a while, allowing us both to enjoy the feeling of being wrapped up in each other's loving embrace.

I gently extricated myself from her tight grasp and pulled away from her. She looked up surprised at my actions.

"We need to get out of here, honey. There are going to be a lot more where that one came from once word gets out. I'm only hoping at this point that the guy sitting out there in his car wants the exclusive shots and hasn't told anyone but his editor yet."

"Ugh… damn it." She sighed before standing.

"Let's go to my house. Hopefully it will all blow over once I leave town," I explained, pulling her into what I hoped was a reassuring hug.

"Speaking of which, how long are you here for?" She had tilted her head, giving me a sly smirk.

"I leave on Thursday morning. My concert's that night. I'm here as long as I can be without disrupting the tour."

"Hmm… we have a lot to discuss and only a day and a half. Let me go pack some things and I'll call around to see if I can get anyone to pick up my show for the morning."

"You'd do that for me?" I was shocked but extremely pleased that she was willing to take the day off to spend it with me.

"It hasn't happened yet, but one of the other DJs owes me a favor, so if I can swing it, I will." She grabbed her phone off the counter and walked back towards her bedroom. I couldn't resist peeking out through her curtains to see what was happening outside. Thankfully only the photographer's beat up Chevy Camaro was sitting in front of the house. It would make it a lot easier to get out of her driveway if he was the only one. I was always thankful for my long and wide driveway, as I never had to back out around the throng. I'd heard about one too many of those leeches having their foot run over by a backing out car. I never left my house in reverse, never. I didn't need a lawsuit on my head among everything else I had going on.

I knew that I should call Rosalie and let her know that I was in town, but I was avoiding work at the moment. I needed to gather my thoughts for what was going to be a very serious discussion later.

"Okay, it's all set. I'm all yours until Thursday morning." I hopped off of the window seat and grabbed the duffle bag off of her shoulder.

"You ready?" She just nodded while biting her lip harshly. "Hey, it'll be okay." I tried to reassure her, but it sounded hollow even in my own ears. "Do you mind if I drive? I've had to outmaneuver these fuckers for a long time." She nodded again, handing over her keys before grasping my other hand.

"Ready or not, right?" The weak smile on her face made me feel even more ill for bringing all of this upon her.

"Okay, just keep your head down and walk briskly. Don't run, I don't want them to catch you tripping over the sidewalk or anything, okay?" I added a teasing lilt to my voice, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Oh, har har…" She elbowed me in the side before grasping the doorknob. "Just like a Band-Aid, right? Quick and painful for only a moment…" Before she even completed the sentence, she had thrown open the door, as we both looked down to the ground and quickly made it to her car. We were backing out of the driveway before the photographer had managed to notice we were leaving. I chuckled that he was so preoccupied he hadn't noticed our departure from her house.

In the rearview mirror I saw him obviously swearing to himself as he pulled out into traffic behind us.

"Well, he's following us, but since we're going to my house, it shouldn't be a huge mystery." I grabbed Bella's hand and held it on the console between the two seats.

"Edward?" she asked after a few moments of silence.

"Hmm?" I responded, glancing over at her curled up in the passenger seat facing me.

"What am I going to do when you leave?" Her voice was weak, barely louder than a whisper.

"What do you mean?" I didn't want to assume I knew what she was thinking.

"I've seen those gossip magazines, Edward. I know what happens when they get a story." She was getting riled up and all I could do was let her. She had every right to be upset.

"Are they going to start going through my trash? I mean, jeez, is my tampon brand going to be headline news now? Fuck, Edward…"

I could feel my face blush at her comment, but I couldn't understand why she was just realizing this. "Bella, this never occurred to you before? I don't mean to be flip, but I've been trying to warn you about this since we started dating…"

Her irritation was palpable as she cut me off. "Of course I know, Edward. It's just sort of really _real_ now. You know?" I did know. It had been my life for a while now and understood how overwhelming it was at the beginning.

"I know, baby, I know…" My thumb was tracing lazy circles around the back of her hand.

"So I guess we're going to be on TMZ and Perez today, and probably all of the weekly rags next week, huh?"

"Probably…" I sighed heavily as I turned into my driveway, opening up the gate and parking in the driveway. Getting out and running around to open Bella's door, I noticed that Rosalie's car was also here. _Odd…_

Grabbing Bella's bag and her hand, I opened up the front door and walked in. It was too bad I wasn't paying more attention, as when we walked into the kitchen we both gasped in horror.

"Rosalie, what the fuck are you doing?" I shouted, turning my body away from the scene of her blowing my brother in my wingback chair.

"Ed… Edward, what are you doing here?" she screeched. I could hear what sounded like her snatching her clothes from the floor.

"Is this what I'm paying you for?" I shouted, angry that she was giving my brother a BJ instead of working in the middle of the day on a Tuesday. Although I also knew that my fury should have been more focused on Emmett, having warned him to not get involved with my publicist and he hadn't listened.

"Hey Bro," Emmett shouted from the chair, apparently unfazed at our entrance. Taking a quick glance over to where he was sitting, I could see him standing up naked as a jaybird and throwing a wave in our direction. It was then that I looked and saw Bella staring slack jawed at the scene before her. She hadn't turned away and was just looking at them stunned.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rosalie sheepishly running off up the stairs with a pile of clothes in her hands.

"Emmett… Get the fuck out. I don't care where you go, but _do not _fucking come back here until Thursday!" I growled, tugging Bella's arm towards me, trying to shake her from the stupor she was in.

"Oh and Bella?" Emmett shouted over his shoulder as he made his way up to his room. "We're totally even now." He winked before turning the corner and heading up the stairs.

Bella's laughter suddenly rang out through my kitchen. Glancing down at her, she was in near hysterics. I couldn't help but join in. That really was pretty comical and helped to relieve the tension that we had both been feeling.

"Oh. My. God. Did that just happen?" she asked through her laughter.

"Yep, it sure as hell did." I tugged on her arm to pull her out towards the patio in an effort to let Emmett and Rosalie get out of the house with whatever shred of dignity either of them had left. I'd have to call Rose later and explain my sudden appearance in Los Angeles along with being caught by the paparazzi. But that could wait. Right now, I just needed to hold Bella for a while.

"What did my brother mean when he said that you guys were even?" I inquired after pulling her onto my lap in one of the chaise lounges.

"Uh….nothing?" she replied weakly, lying through her pretty little teeth.

"Nothing, huh?" I smirked, kissing the top of her head but waiting for her to reveal the real reason.

"Fine. The day you left for your tour?" I nodded, letting her know I knew the day she was speaking about.

"Well, when you called to have Emmett wake me up? He sort of came in and saw me naked," she mumbled the last part so quickly it took me a moment to make out what she had said.

"He _what_?" I shouted unintentionally in her ear. She winced and pulled away from me, looking up in shock.

"Sorry… but he did what?" I asked again in a calmer voice, even though I was seething inside.

"I was having a nightmare and he came in when he heard me. The sheet was tangled around my legs. It's not like he was ogling me or anything. He was trying to wake me up by shaking my feet. He wasn't even facing me when I finally did wake up."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to wake you up," I murmured into her hair, guilt leaving my mouth feeling dry and thick. "Fuck…" I felt sad and frustrated that I hadn't been there to comfort her. She didn't seem to have them when we slept together and she hadn't told me about having them while I was gone. "Bella, do you have them often?" I whispered into her ear, kissing her neck tenderly.

She just nodded. When I peered around to look at her face, her eyes were closed and a few fat tears had escaped from beneath them. My arms spun her around so that she was facing me. It took every ounce of effort to not shed some myself when I bent down to kiss the salty trails from her cheek.

"How often, baby?"

"Every night I'm not with you…" She wept silently into my shirt as I held her tightly to my chest.

"Oh, honey…" I had no other soothing words. I should have noticed the dark circles under her eyes when I first saw her today. My hands were softly running up and down her back. "Do you want to tell me what they're about?" I released her enough to tug on her chin to get her to look at me.

"Not right now, okay?" She buried her face back into my shirt and I let the line of questioning go. We just sat and held one another until I heard a car door close. Assuming Emmett and Rose were leaving; I lifted her off of me and gave her a quick chaste kiss. "Thirsty?" I knew that I needed a stiff drink after the morning we'd had, but I wasn't quite ready to start drinking scotch at noon. She nodded silently as we walked inside, her nestled into my side and my arm resting lightly across her shoulders.

Once we made it through the solarium, I stopped suddenly in my tracks when I saw a familiar auburn haired woman standing in my kitchen.

"Mom?" I asked loudly. She screamed and dropped the bag of groceries she was carrying onto the ground with a thud. Her hand flew up to her heart as she spun around to look at us.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" she gasped, still clutching her chest. "You could have given me a heart attack."

"Sorry. Didn't you see Bella's car in the driveway?" I asked, leaning down to pick up the stray groceries that were now strewn across my kitchen floor.

"I guess I wasn't really paying attention. I saw Emmett leaving with Rosalie and just assumed that no one was home." She sat down on a stool trying to calm her frayed nerves.

"What are you doing here anyhow? And did you know Emmett and Rose are…well I don't actually know what they are other than defiling my furniture with bodily fluids." I cringed back at the thought of my brother's bare ass on my chair. "Fuck…" I muttered to myself, pissed that I was going to have to buy a new chair and find out what else he managed to violate.

My mother sputtered at my explanation, her face turning puce. "Edward!" she admonished, not answering my questions.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" I asked slowly, as if speaking to a child, hoping that it would help her to realize that I wanted an answer."

"Bringing groceries for Emmett. Why?" She had stood up again and was rummaging around my kitchen putting things away.

"Why are you buying Emmett groceries? He's a twenty seven year old man… okay man might be pushing it, but still Mom, isn't he a little old to be buying groceries for?"

"He's been in New York for almost nine years and now that he's within driving distance I feel like mothering him a bit. Is that so wrong?" She huffed. I'd obviously touched a nerve.

"You're not doing his laundry too are you?" I heard Bella sputter, trying to mask her laugh when she pointed toward the desk by the garage door. A laundry basket was perched precariously on the edge, filled to the brim with perfectly folded laundry.

"Jeez Mom, you're spoiling him. He's never going to get out of my house at this rate…"

"Oh, let me be a mother for a while, will you?" She sulked, putting boxes away with more flourish than usual. "I should ask you the same thing. What are you doing here, Edward? Shouldn't you be on the road somewhere back East? And forgive me, Bella. How are you sweetheart?" She turned to face me, hand on her hip, giving me her best glare.

"I just needed to see Bella… I don't have another show till Thursday," I explained, shrugging my shoulders.

Bella just sort of smiled casually, letting me figure out how to best handle my mother. _Smart girl…_

"Why didn't you tell us you were coming into town…?" I put my hand up to stop her tirade.

"Mom, it was _very_ spur of the moment. I'm sorry for not telling you."

"Fine. I'm going to put his laundry away and then I'm headed out. I have a client meeting in an hour in Brentwood, so I need to run." She walked over and gave me a quick peck to my cheek before turning to greet Bella with a warm embrace. "Call me soon," she called over her shoulder as she picked up the laundry basket and headed down the hallway.

"Mom, let me get that." I swiftly walked over to the stairs and took the basket out of her hands. "I got it Mom. Is this your basket, or can I leave it on his bed for him to unload himself?"

"It's mine, but I have others at home. Leave it for him and I'll get it when I come back next week." She hugged me tight before walking over to grab her purse off the counter.

"Fine, but I still think you're spoiling him," I shouted down from the top of the stairway.

"When you become a mother, you can give me your opinion. Okay?" she teased on her way out the door.

I set the basket down on Emmett's unmade bed and looked around the messy room. How in two weeks had he managed to make it look like he had been living here for months on end was a mystery to me? I walked out and shut his door, making a mental note to tell my cleaning lady to wipe down every available surface before I came back from my tour. Ugh… I shuddered again at the thought.

I looked up and saw Bella leaning up against the railing, her legs crossed casually at the ankle and throwing me a crooked grin.

"Wow, quite a morning…" she chuckled, motioning for me to follow her down the hall towards my room.

"God, I'm sorry, Bella. I came back to spend time with you and I can't get five minutes alone with you," I whined.

"I'd like more than five minutes with you, Edward," she cooed, kicking off her shoes dramatically before wriggling out of her jeans.

"Bella," I warned, gazing at her through lust filled eyes as she began stripping off her shirt, leaving her sitting on my bed in a lavender silk bra and panty set.

"Edward, we have like forty hours left, do you want to waste it standing over there, or making love to me?" She lay back on the bed, crooking her finger suggestively for me to join her.

My clothes flew all around me in my haste to get undressed. I was fiercely kissing her before she had time to blink.

"God, I've missed you so much…" she murmured into my neck, licking and biting her way around it.

"Me too, baby… so fucking much," I cursed, so incredibly happy to be running my hands and lips across her supple curves.

My hands quickly removed her bra, allowing my mouth and hands free reign over her soft breasts. Leaning down, my mouth sucked and nipped at her left nipple while my hand caressed the right. Hearing her moan beneath me only made my cock harder against her thigh.

"So fucking good…" she groaned, running her hands across my back and down to squeeze my ass.

I slowly moved down her body, splaying my hands across her firm belly while running my nose and lips across her ribs down to her pelvic bone. I had to taste her. It had been too long. My finger ran across the skimpy fabric between her thighs. Dipping one finger beneath, I felt the moisture that was already pooling there. Bella squirmed under my touch, begging me for more.

"Please, baby, I need you so bad," she panted as I licked the moisture off of my slick fingers.

"You know I can't resist you when you beg…" I said, dragging my tongue along the elastic that was barely containing her pussy.

I hooked my thumbs around her panties and pulled them down over her smooth legs, a trail of kisses followed them until I reached her dainty foot.

"Edward, please…" She leaned up on her forearms, her chest heaving with want.

"Am I going to slow for you?" I teased, kissing the instep of her foot and dragging my tongue along the inside of her leg until I reached the promise land.

My mouth was salivating at the thought of tasting her. I languidly took a lick across her center, causing her to tremble and moan.

My fingers spread her lips, opening her up to my ministrations.

"Oh God that feels good…"

I quickly added a finger before sucking hard on her clit. Bella's hands grasped my head, tugging my face harder into her core. It wasn't long before my fingers and mouth were causing Bella to come undone beneath me. She was gasping for air as her heels dug into the mattress, flooding my mouth with her juices.

I lapped at her softly, allowing her to come down from her orgasm.

"Edward, I need you in me, NOW!" she ordered, sitting up and tugging hard on my boxers.

"God, I need you too. So much, baby," I moaned as her dainty hand grasped my cock, inserting it slowly into her.

"Fuck, you're so tight," I gasped, dropping my head into the crook of her neck.

"More, baby, please," she panted, thrusting her hips up into mine.

We increased our tempo, the urgency of our movements palpable.

I felt the pressure building even though I was doing my best to hold out for her to join me.

"I'm so close, baby, please…" she groaned, snaking her hand between our slick bodies to rub her clit. Watching her finger herself pushed me over the edge. I spilled into her, feeling her clamp down shortly after. It wasn't long before I collapsed on to her, barely able to avoid crushing her, and whispered my love and adoration into her ear.

"I love you so much, baby…"

"Me too." She sighed, tucking herself into my side when I rolled off of her. We cuddled together, allowing sleep to overtake our spent bodies.

**BPOV**

Well, that doesn't happen every day. When I awoke at 3:30 am, I never would have thought that not only would I get to see Edward, but that I would now have a paparazzo staked out at my house, I'd see more of Emmett and Rosalie then I ever needed to witness of the both of them and had amazing sex with the man I was supposed to be pissed off at.

And while I was curled up around Edward's strong body, I didn't have any worries. His arms were wrapped tightly around me, as if he knew how much I needed him.

"Mmmm… what time is it?" I felt Edward's warm breath on my neck as he asked it.

"It's around three," I said, glancing over his head at the clock on his nightstand.

"Can we stay here forever? Let's forget all about the real world," he mumbled, pulling me even closer.

"I'd love to, but I'm starving. Please tell me that your mom brought you something good?" I rolled away from him, throwing back the covers and soliciting a groan from the other side of the bed.

"Ugh… Really, you want to leave the comfort of my bed? Leave these arms?" he asked, sitting up and looking absolutely adorable with his hair sticking up in odd directions as he held out his arms, suggesting that I should come back to him.

"Pleeeeease?" I whined, pulling out a pair of boxers and a t-shirt from his dresser.

"Fine, fine. If I feed you, can we come back to bed?"

"Maybe, but I think we need to talk after we eat." My mind finally caught up with my sex drive. I hated that reality had to come crashing in, but if we were going to make any headway, we needed to sit down and hash it out.

I heard him groan as he tossed the blankets aside and walked up behind me, tugging me to his chest. "You're right. We have a lot to talk about don't we?" he said softly, kissing me behind my ear before moving to his dresser and pulling on a pair of khaki shorts.

"Commando?" I teased, noticing he didn't put any boxers on.

"Easy access, baby," he teased, waggling his eyebrows at me suggestively. I couldn't help but giggle at the gesture. God, it was so easy to be with him. When we were together life just made sense. It was when we were apart that things managed to get all mucked up.

After freshening up in the bathroom, I made it down to Edward's kitchen to see him making a couple of omelets. He had an apron wrapped around him, protecting his bare chest from any spattering butter. Hearing me enter, he turned and gave me a wide smile, melting my heart.

"Edward, does your apron say what I think it does?" I asked, laughing out loud at the offending object.

"Huh? I don't know, I think its Emmett's…" He glanced down, twisting the fabric around so he could read it.

'Taste my Meat… Bitch' was printed on his chest, a cartoon man holding out a hot dog on a stick.

"Oh my god…" He flung it over his head like it was on fire. My laughter echoed through the kitchen as Edward came up and apologized for the vulgarity that was emblazoned on his chest not moments ago.

I tucked my head into the crook of his shoulder trying to contain my giggles. It just felt so damn good to be in his company again. Problems be damned.

_Snap out of it, Swan. This is how you let him leave without explaining anything to you. He renders you brainless in close proximity, _I thought, kicking myself internally.

"I hope omelets are okay with you. It was the quickest thing I could think of that would feed my _starving_ girlfriend." He chuckled into my hair as he wrapped his arms tightly around me, kissing my temple.

"Sounds great." I turned my head to give him a chaste kiss before taking my seat at his breakfast bar. I blatantly stared at him when he went bent over to pull a bottle out of the wine fridge. The muscles in his legs and back stretched under his skin as he bent down to retrieve a bottle of chardonnay.

"Wine?" he asked, turning around to catch my ogling.

"I'd rather have you, but wine will suffice for now," I purred, feeling like a horny teenager once again.

"That can be arranged you know?"

"Mmm hmm…" My smirk showed him that while I was interested, we had to get some of the shit out of the way. "How about a drink, some food, and good conversation for now. We can talk about _dessert_ later." I winked, hoping that it looked seductive and not like I got something stuck in my eye.

"Here you go, Madame." The fake French accent he tried using while serving me my omelet caused me to smile broadly up at him.

"Thanks, it smells great."

He pulled up a chair next to mine and we ate in relative silence, his hand grazing my bare knee and causing me to shiver at his warm touch.

"Bella…" he started, before turning to look at me seriously. "I'm sorry. I've been such an ass and I can't express to you how sorry I am for that."

"I think we both played a part in what's come to pass. We'll work it out. We just really need to talk. You know?" I grabbed his hand that was still on my knee and squeezed it reassuringly. He just nodded solemnly and finished eating.

"Should we go sit on the couch? It's more comfortable than here," he asked, taking our plates and putting them in the dishwasher.

"Sure." I stood and made my way over to the large mahogany colored sofa and sat down on the soft leather, curling my legs up underneath me. Edward joined me soon after, sitting at the opposite end, twisting sidewise to look directly at me.

"So, should I go first?" I knew the topic that we were waiting to discuss was heavy and I figured maybe we both could use a little more wine before broaching that subject. I wanted to share my good news before being bogged down in melancholy.

"Um, sure… If you'd like." He smiled and urged me on, still looking a bit uneasy.

"Well, first, I know I haven't made things very easy on you. I just haven't been sleeping and with all this Victoria shit, I've been a bit on edge too. I'm hoping that when we're done talking today, we can move forward and just _be_. You know?" I leaned forward a bit and grabbed his hand, holding it delicately in my own. I wanted this discussion to be a joined effort and our clasped hands helped me to physically reiterate the point.

"Mmm hmm…" he murmured as I squeezed his hand.

"I also have some good news that I probably should have told you about yesterday, but I was being kind of a baby and withheld it from you." Glancing up at him, he tried to look surprised, but genuinely failed. I had to laugh, thinking that someone had ratted me out.

"Who was it?" I grinned at him, hopefully letting him know that I was okay with the betrayal.

"Who was what?" he asked, trying to look innocent.

"Well it had to have been either Alice or Jasper, so who was it?" I inquired again, lifting my eyebrows in mock condescension.

"Fine… Jasper let it leak that you had some sort of new job. When I found out you didn't tell me and wouldn't when I called the other night, I knew I was really in the dog house. It was sort of the kick in the ass I needed to come and see you. Try to explain everything to you. I didn't mean to deceive you." He was looking down at his hands like a scolded schoolboy.

"Hey, it's okay. Like I said, I was being childish. You were the first person I thought of to call…" I was about to go on, but realized that he didn't actually know what I had been offered.

"Jane called me out of the blue yesterday while I was at work and asked me to come to lunch. I went up to her office and she offered me a hosting job on a new reality show about aspiring musicians and songwriters. We did a screen test and I actually liked what I saw and am now in negotiations." I gave him the abbreviated version, knowing that we'd be talking about it for a while now that it was out in the open.

"Oh my God. That's great!" He crushed me into a tight hug, whispering how proud he was of me. We started frantically kissing each other and I knew that if I didn't put a stop to this, we would be defiling his furniture more than Emmett and Rose. Pulling back, his eyes were beaming, happiness exuding from every pore.

"It's going to be a bit nerve-wracking, but I think I can handle it. I needed a new challenge anyhow."

"What are you doing about your show? It'll be nice to have similar hours. Or at least hours where you don't have to get up before dawn."

"I'm going to do both for a while. I want to make sure it's got an audience before I make any decisions about quitting my show." His face dropped when I told him this. It was going to be tough to make time to be with one another with me working two jobs and volunteering.

"Hey, I know we can do this. When you're back from your tour, you'll be around a little more, right? Or are you planning to start a new album right away?"

"I don't know. I've been writing some songs while I've been on the bus, so depending on what Eclipse wants from me, I may put out a new album right away."

"Well, we'll just make it work, right?" I smiled lovingly at him, noticing that we had now moved from the ends of the sofa to the middle. Neither of us able to bear being any further away from the other than necessary.

"Oh, and I forgot one other thing… Jane is one sneaky bitch. She snooped around into my past. Apparently did it to you too before you were signed. She knows about the accident and my back… It was actually really freeing to not have it a secret with someone…" The last part just came out of my mouth. I had just realized how liberating it felt at that exact moment.

Edward pulled me into his side and kissed me gently on the temple, his simple reassuring gesture spoke volumes to my heart.

"I'm glad it's not going to be a problem. Jane is someone who I trust wholeheartedly." He was speaking so softly I barely heard him. I could feel him tensing up, sensing that it was his turn to talk. All I could offer him was my support and affection. I pulled out of his grasp and instead wrapped my arms around him as best as I could. If he needed my comfort, I would provide it. He had been unwavering in his love for me, scars and all. My heart just hoped that I could do the same for him.

"Baby, are you ready?" I asked, trying to tenderly nudge him along.

**** **He nodded his head almost imperceptibly against my chest. It was a few minutes before he finally inhaled deeply and began speaking.

"So you know that Victoria broke into my house…" His voice sounded frail and hollow. Nothing like the man I was in love with. My heart broke to hear him sound so vulnerable. I couldn't help clutching him closer to my chest, like a mother comforting a child.

"Umm… well I had been in the studio pretty late and came in, not really paying much attention. The lights were still off aside from a lamp in the hallway and the one over the stove. It wasn't until I was standing in the kitchen opening my mail that I saw her in the dim light, sitting splayed out on my counter, facing me naked." He shuttered at the memory and took a couple of deep breaths before continuing.

"I didn't see it at the time, but there was a large knife hidden behind her. She hopped down off the counter when I looked up and noticed her. I remember the mail falling out of my hands and scattering across the floor. Her hair was like fire, a shocking color that nature didn't create. I was stunned. Maybe if I didn't stand there gaping at her like an idiot, none of this would have happened…" He was getting angry now. I knew the emotion well. He was putting himself through all of the wouda, couda, shouldas that wouldn't make a fucking difference.

"Shhh… I'm here. It's okay…" My own voice hitching with emotion as I tried to keep my tears in check. I was supposed to be the resilient one now.

"Fuck, Bella, It's _not_ okay…she attacked me and… and…" He was trembling, trying to make the words come out of his mouth. I noticed his cheeks were rosy, but I couldn't tell if it was from ire or embarrassment.

"She…she attacked me and I fucking got it up. Who the fuck does that? I left the door open for her to assault me. She thought I wanted it and my body gave her that impression. What is _wrong_ with me?" He was openly weeping, taking huge gasps of air as he tried to calm himself down. I ached to do more for him, but knew that there was nothing I could say or do that would make it all better. He was punishing himself and there was little I could do but to hold him and try to soothe him; reminding him that I would be here to comfort him no matter what.

"I'm so sorry…You didn't do anything wrong. She's the predator, not you, baby…" I was rocking him as he wept angry tears, swiping at them with the back of his hand.

"That reaction is a normal physical response… It's not your fault. It's like my nipples getting hard when I'm cold…" I was rambling, trying to fill up the empty space.

"_What_?" He spat, pulling out of my arms and glaring at me. "Getting a fucking hard on when someone's holding a knife to you isn't like walking around in a cool breeze. _Jesus_." He stood up and began pacing back and forth in front of the sofa. His hands were furiously raking through his disheveled hair.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. I only meant that it…" He cut me off in mid sentence.

"Fuck!" He growled, flopping back into the couch, pounding his fist on the armrest in frustration. "I'm such a dick. I'm sorry." Turning towards me, his red rimmed eyes gazed at me apologetically.

"I'm not going anywhere…" I knew there wasn't anything else I could say. We'd both been devastatingly hurt by things in our past. Maybe we were fated to be together, to help one another heal; our experiences allowing us to draw strength when the other one needed it.

We both gravitated back together, desperately clutching one another. We stayed entwined for a long time, not speaking, just letting our bodies provide the comfort that we required.

**A/N**

_Okay – so I know some of you are wondering about Edward – I've left it vague for a reason, as I'm not a man nor have I been abused in such a way. I did do research and know that getting an erection is a physiological experience and not necessarily an arousal thing. It's the cause of guilt and shame in many male victims. Again, I hope I did it justice._

_On that note, I also want to say that Edward was not raped. He managed to wrangle the knife away from Victoria prior to that happening, but she left an indelible mark on him just the same._

_In lighter news – thank you all so freaking much for the reviews last time. It made my heart absolutely sing to hear your thoughts about my little story. Truly, it does. I hope that some of you will do the same for this chapter. I'd love to see 150 reviews and I'll even tempt you with a peek at the next chapter. Yes, It's written, shocking as that may seem._

_Okay - that's it for this time. Thanks again for all your reviews, alerts and favorites!_


	16. Many the Miles

**A/N**

_Thanks to everyone who reads and reviews. Looks like last chapter didn't resonate with many of you since I only got a few, but I appreciate you all sticking with my story regardless of if you leave me love or not._

_Thanks to __**Blackjacklily**__, my wonderful beta & __**Totoro**__ my Twilighted validation beta_

_This one is a little shorter, but hopefully worth it. _

_Lemon alert – if you're under 18 – move along…._

_Disclaimer: I don't own it, just playing around._

**Many the Miles**

**BPOV**

The week had turned into a tornado like whirlwind. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I accepted Jane's proposal and what it meant to be stalked by the press.

Edward and I had communicated on a level that we had never reached before. It was as if we had thrown open a window on our relationship and cleared all the dust and cobwebs away. We vowed to not have any more secrets between us after we had cleaned out our closets and kicked out all the skeletons that had lived there. It helped breathe new life into our relationship and help to solidify our commitment to one another.

_Communicating… who knew?_ I laughed at the irony of having part of my degree in communications and sucking at communicating.

It was hard to leave the comfort of Edward's bed on Thursday in the predawn hour before my show, knowing I wouldn't be coming back for another month and a half.

We hadn't left his house for the forty plus hours that we were together. Instead we chose to learn everything there was to know about one another, not only through words, but through kisses and caresses. We made love more times than I could count; until neither of us could move a muscle somewhere around midnight on Thursday. I had felt conflicted about waking Edward. Part of me knew it was selfish to wake him up at four am, but another part of me just didn't give a shit. I needed to feel him one last time before I left. He said that he was relieved, as he needed the reassurance of my embrace as much as I did.

After everything Edward had told me about what Victoria did to him, it had helped me to understand his overwhelming desire to protect me not only from her, but to try and shield me away from all the crap he had been through. I didn't like talking about the accident any more than he wanted to talk about getting molested by Victoria. I knew that even though he didn't want to talk to me about it, he felt lighter after he did. His eyes sparkled once again and when he smiled now, it lit up the room. Dr. Banner was really proud of his accomplishment and felt that maybe he could start cutting back on his anti-anxiety meds when he returned from the road if his panic attacks started to wane.

When I walked into my office that morning, I was thankful very few people worked that early in the morning. It wasn't until I left the studio to take a quick bathroom break that I became the center of attention. You could hear my flip-flops flopping down the normally noisy corridors and people's heads were popping above their cubicles like groundhogs when I walked by. The unflattering picture that was posted on _Perez _the previous day was the likely culprit to the sudden interest in my whereabouts around the water cooler.

There were photographers now following me to and from work, barely allowing me to get my car into my driveway. I wished that I had a garage, as it would have allowed me some cover walking into my house. Stumbling a little on my stone walkway, I finally floundered into my house with a slam of the door and an audible relieved sigh. I'm not sure how I managed to get to bed to nap away the anxious exhaustion that had seeped into my bones. I barely remembered setting the alarm on my phone to allow enough time to get ready for my dinner meeting with Jane, a whole bunch of studio execs, and Alice.

Yes Alice. Alice as it turned out had gone to law school and passed the California Bar, only to realize after two years of practicing that she hated the profession. It didn't hurt that she met Jasper around that time and with his success he urged her to do something she enjoyed rather than something she needed to do to pay the bills.

Alice had all but insisted that she become my manager and legal representation when I told her about the opportunity. She was growing weary of the early morning hours and if I left the show when _Virtuoso_ took off, she was going to be following close behind me. I had readily agreed, knowing that I trusted her more than anyone, aside from maybe Edward. She had also suggested that I utilize Rosalie's firm for my publicity concerns now that Edward and I were public knowledge and the new show would garner me some additional media interest. It was Edward who had gracefully suggested that perhaps I use Rose's partner Nicole Reed instead of Rose, since the temperature never got above frosty between the two of us.

The meeting with the studio execs went well and I was now signed on as the host of _Virtuoso _for the next two years, pending the show's success. I was also now sporting a salary in the six digits.

_If only my dad could see me now…_ I thought wistfully, letting happy memories flit through my mind. A luxury I didn't often afford myself for fear of dredging up memories of our last days spent together instead. He had always instilled a sense of independence and strong work ethic into me. I wondered what he would of thought of Edward? He probably would have given him a hard time the first time he met him, trying to sweat him a little by cleaning his service revolver at the kitchen table or something equally as mortifying.

After leaving our business dinner, I walked quickly towards my Honda that was parked on the street. I still wasn't comfortable with the whole valet thing. It just seemed like such a wasted expense if you could find parking a short distance away.

Settling into my seat, I turned the key, but the engine didn't turn over. I tried over and over again, but aside from an annoying clicking sound, all was silent.

"Fuck…" I shouted to myself, slamming my hands on the steering wheel. Getting out of the car, I marched back to the restaurant to wait for AAA to come to my rescue. Edward's warning about Victoria was still very fresh in my mind and I didn't want to be on a deserted street corner should she decide to make her presence known.

Forty minutes later, I was back on the road. Thankfully it wasn't the battery, but a loose connection or something. The mechanic in the tow truck tried to explain it to me, but between the anxiety and exhaustion of the day, I just didn't really care why, I just wanted it fixed.

When I got home some time later, I sent Edward a quick text to let him know I was home safe and sound and that I would fill him in on my dinner meeting in the morning.

I slid into my bed and drifted off to images of my two sex filled days with Edward, lulling me to sleep.

**EPOV**

"Yeah, baby, just like that…" I moaned, watching Bella take me into her mouth.

"You like when I fuck your pretty little mouth, don't you?" She just gazed up at me through her long lashes, humming around my hard cock.

Watching her sucking on my dick was making my eyes roll into the back of my head. Her hair was slick from the shower and sticking to the sides of her face, bordering her lovely features in a mahogany frame.

"Get up, baby. I don't want to cum in your mouth. I want to watch us." I tugged her up and out of the shower and pressed her up against the vanity. She was watching me through hooded eyes as I fingered her entrance to see if she was ready for me. "You're so wet…" I whispered into her ear, pressing my hardness into her ass.

"Please…" she begged, gazing into my reflected eyes.

"As you wish my love," I said, pressing my length into her core. She moaned loudly and threw her head back against my chest.

"Look at me," I ordered, causing her to glance back at me, her cheeks flushed from the heat of the shower, not to mention the desire that was radiating in her eyes.

"God, you feel so good…" she sighed, looking down to where one of my hands was flicking her clit.

"Do you like it when I fuck you hard?" I asked as I slammed repeatedly into her, her beautiful breasts bouncing with each thrust. "Tell, me. Do you like it?" I ordered when she didn't respond with anything other than a grunt.

"Uh, God…Yes, love when you… oh so hard…" she gasped incoherently, clutching the countertop as she pushed her hips back towards me.

I moved my thumb from the hand that was holding on to her hip and slightly grazed her back entrance. Her eyes went wide, but she groaned and gave me a small nod in the foggy mirror. Quickly dipping it into her wet pussy, I used the lubrication to slip the tip of it into her tight ass.

"Oh… oh…Edward…" She panted, cumming around my dick and causing a chain reaction as I spilled into her.

I rested my head on the cool tiles of the shower, letting the hot spray wash over me and take the remnants of my personal gratification down the drain with it. My brain was still deep in thought, missing Bella and all the things that we had done on my quick trip back to LA. Turning the water off, I got out of the shower and started to dry off when I heard a knock on the door.

"Wow, that was fast," I said to myself, thinking about the dinner I had just ordered from room service.

Yanking the door open, I was shocked to see two teenage girls standing before me screaming their heads off.

"Oh my God… It's really you!"

"Holy shit. Edward Masen…" they both shouted in tandem.

Fuck… I slammed the door before looking down and realizing that I was standing there with just a tiny towel draped around my waist. Fuck. My. Life.

I strode over to the phone to call down to reception, still hearing the girls outside the door exuberantly calling their friends.

_Thank god they didn't have their camera phones out when I opened the door_, I thought wearily, waiting for the reception desk to pick up my call.

"Hello, front desk…"

"Hi, this is Cullen Edwards, I have a bit of a problem. Do you think you could send up security? There are a couple of young ladies outside my door screaming their heads off."

"Of course, Mr. Edwards, hold on one moment and let me call them," she responded respectfully, putting me on hold. "Okay, Mr. Edwards, they are on their way up. Is there anything else I can do for you?

"Actually, now that my location has gotten out, do you have another room you could move me to?

"I'm sorry sir, but we're at capacity tonight. We don't have any more suites to move you to."

"What about a regular room, could I maybe swap with someone who hasn't checked in yet, and you could give them my room as an upgrade?" I was begging her like a pauper on the street.

"I'm sorry, I don't believe we would be able to accommodate that, as there would likely be some disruption to their stay should we give them your room." It sounded like she was reading this from a script. I'm guessing I wasn't the first to make the same request.

"Right, right… sorry about that…" I sighed deeply in frustration, not sure what to do.

"Mr. Edwards, could I have our concierge call you in a few moments to see if she can figure something out?"

"Yes, that would be great. Thank you for your help."

"No problem. Thank you for staying at The Plaza," she replied before hanging up.

I had just hung up when I heard my cell ring.

"Hello?"

"Edward, its Rosalie."

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, still standing in just my towel.

"I see you're in the Rose suite, room 3210…" she tittered, waiting for my response.

"So was it a tweet or Facebook that did me in?"

"Both. The tweets were actually quite amusing really. You shouldn't answer the door in just your towel next time… It's a good thing they didn't have a camera."

"Fuck…" I groaned, pacing around my room and listening as the girls were rounded up by security outside my door.

"Hey, we'll deal with it. It's not the end of the world. Are they moving you to a different room?"

"I'm waiting on a call back to see if it's possible." I sat down heavily on the bed, looking out at the view of the city, the feeling of loneliness suddenly overwhelming me.

"Okay, well, keep me posted. I also wanted to apologize about… uh, Emmett." I was mildly shocked that she had brought this up, as Rose wasn't much for apologies. We had kept our conversations short and very businesslike for the last two days, neither of us wanting to rehash the event in question.

"Rose, it's okay. I mean, it's not _okay_, but it's okay. I just hope you know what you're doing. I warned Emmett to not get involved with you, but I refrained from warning you. I just don't want to have to find a new publicist when this all goes downhill."

"What makes you think it will go downhill?" she inquired, sounding amused.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, I was raking my hand through my wet hair when I heard the room phone ring.

"Rose, can you hang on for one sec?" I asked as I picked up the room's phone.

"Hello, Mr. Edwards? This is Katelyn from Concierge. I hear we have a little problem." Her voice was light and airy without sounding juvenile.

"Hi, Katelyn, tell me you have good news?"

"Actually, we are sold out this evening, but I have called in a favor with a colleague at the Ritz Carlton down the street. They have a royal suite that was released because of a client's plane being cancelled due to poor weather somewhere. We'll have your key down here when you depart for your show and your bags will be delivered to your new room. Will that work for you sir?" Her tone was professional yet friendly and I couldn't have been happier with the outcome. I knew the Ritz wasn't that far from here and could easily have the limo take me in through their underground garage for privacy.

"That would be fantastic, Katelyn, right?"

"Yes sir. Is there anything I can do to make your stay more enjoyable?"

"No, no, you've gone above and beyond already. Thanks very much." I hung up the phone and saw that Rose had hung up as well.

"Shit…" I quickly dialed Rose back.

"Rose, sorry about that."

"No problem, Edward. I have lots of other things to keep me busy." She sounded happier than I had heard her in a while and could only hope that if it was because of my brother that he wouldn't break her heart. "I just wanted to reassure you that I can keep business and pleasure separate, although I don't think he's going to break my heart."

"I really hope so, Rose, because if you don't already know, he's a bit of a player. I've never seen him with the same girl for longer than a month." I walked over to my suitcase to pull out some clothes to wear for the show tonight.

"Well, it's been over a month already, Edward…" She revealed, chuckling lightly.

"What?"

"We've been going out since we hooked up after the Laker game."

"Uh… I'm sorry, come again?" My brain just couldn't wrap itself around that fact that my brother was now dating my publicist.

"Remember when you couldn't find your brother the morning after the Laker game? Yeah, he was with me. Sorry." She sounded a bit sheepish, but I couldn't tell if it was genuine or not over the phone.

"Well… that's great I guess? Listen, I gotta get dressed and pack. They're moving me to the Ritz. I'll text you with my room info when I get it. Talk to you tomorrow?" I was trying desperately to get off the phone before delving any deeper into my brother's… shit and my publicist's love life.

"Have a good show. Talk to you later." She hung up, thankfully not giving me any more details about her and Emmett.

Clothes were being haphazardly stuffed back into my suitcase when I heard another knock on my door. Standing up, I knew well enough to look through the peephole this time to see that it was in fact the burger I had ordered from room service.

The smell of beef hung in the air as I opened the door to see the poor delivery guy surrounded by two burly security guards as he wheeled the cart into my room.

"Here you go, Mr. Edwards," he shyly said, turning around and handing me the bill. I tipped and signed the check, handing it back to him before escorting him back to the brawny men's care.

"Thanks a lot. Have a good night," I replied before shutting the door softly behind their retreating forms.

My stomach growled and I smiled when I lifted the cover off of my meal. I always ordered burgers when I had room service. Whenever I went out to eat these days, it felt like it was always at some fancy pretentious place for business and I never felt comfortable enough to just order a plain old cheeseburger. The smell was causing my mouth to water. I grabbed the tray, sat down on the couch and flipped the TV on to see what was happening in the world.

"And in Entertainment news, it was announced that Isabella Swan, the recently outed girlfriend of international superstar Edward Masen, was named the host of this fall's most anticipated reality show, _Virtuoso_. Isabella is currently hosting the popular morning radio show out of Los Angeles, B Girl in the AM. It was reported that she met the pop sensation when she interviewed him on her morning show. Moonlight Communications has released the locations of Virtuoso's preshow tryouts online this afternoon. The cities include New York, Chicago, Miami, Las Vegas, Seattle and Los Angeles. Stay tuned for more of this week's top entertainment stories after this commercial break…"

I watched the program with rapt attention. As the reporter was speaking, they were showing a loop of Bella walking out of her office building being surrounded by cameras. It broke my heart to see her privacy being so blatantly violated. As I watched the scene go down, it was a sliver of shockingly red hair in the crowd that grabbed my undivided attention.

**A/N**

_Okay – so what'd you think? Please let me know._

_Unfortunately I'm having a bit of writers block on the next chapter. I wrote it, but hated it and have scrapped it and am trying to start over. Hopefully it will be written quickly. I'd love to hear your suggestions, not saying I'll write it that way, but curious to see where you'd see it going if you were writing it. _

_Thanks and please review. I feel like a kid at Christmas when I open my inbox and there are reviews in there. I feel unloved when it's empty. So help a sister out?_


	17. Stop This Train

**A/N**

_Sorry for the wait on this. But I rewrote this chapter about 3 times before I got this. Just so you know, there's only 3 more chapters and it's kind of like we're at the top of the incline on a rollercoaster – it's all downhill from here. Fast and windy – so stick with me and I hope to post every Thursday for the next few weeks to complete this._

_Second, let me thank __**Blackjacklily**__ for her amazing beta skills. She rocked on this one when I messed up the tenses half way through, so thanks!_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own any of this, it's all Stephanie Meyer's – I just like toying with them._

_Heads up – there is mention of Bella's past in this chapter. If you don't remember, you can go back and read the last 1/3 of chapter 9 and first 1/3 of chapter 10 – or you can wait for the A/N at the end and I'll recap quickly for you._

* * *

**Stop this Train**

**EPOV**

_Two more weeks, just two more weeks_. I had been chanting that in my head for the last two hours, waiting for my Skype date with Bella. We had tried earlier in the week, but she'd been having problems with her fuse box and we got cut off in mid-cybergasm when we plunged into darkness at a very inopportune time.

She had been having a string of bad luck that seemed to be weighing her down. First it was her car breaking down a couple weeks ago, and then it was a leak in her roof. Thankfully Emmett was around and could find a good contractor for her so she didn't get screwed just for being a woman. Most recently it was her fuse box that seemed to be shorting out for no apparent reason. It happened at odd times, not just when she was using her blow dryer and microwave at the same time. She was becoming increasingly agitated by it all and I couldn't blame her. I felt bad that I wasn't there to help her out, even though I knew she liked to put on the front that she could handle anything and everything that was thrown at her.

My phone vibrated lightly across my desk. Glancing down, I saw it was from Bella.

_Running Late, see you in 10. B._

_Long day? Can't wait. XO E._

_You've no idea. B._

I sat as patiently as possible, strumming my fingers across the desk and surfing the web for anything interesting when I finally heard my Skype call ringing. The page opened and I saw my beautiful girl's eyes shining brightly against the backdrop of her home office.

"Hi, baby, sorry," she mumbled sheepishly, shoving something into her mouth.

"No problem. How was your day?" She swallowed her food and took a big gulp from the water bottle sitting next to her before answering.

"Ugh… It's just this week has been a royal bitch. Between my morning show and these pre-production meetings for _Virtuoso,_ today I had the joy of coming home to my backyard flooded because of a blown sprinkler head. I asked those fucking paps why no one shut off the water if they saw the geyser in my yard, and all I got was a bunch of bullshit about trespassing. Since when did those guys give a _fuck_ about trespassing…?" She was on a roll, ranting and waving her arms around her head in frustration. I was trying to not smirk, but she looked so cute when the vein in her forehead popped out and her face flushed red in anger. Well at least when the anger wasn't directed at me.

"Baby?" I tried interrupting to no avail.

"…and you know the kicker? My tire got a flat on the way home from my prep meeting. I ran over a nail or something. That's where I was, at the repair shop getting a new one…"

"Baby?" I tried again, this time she looked up at me before smiling and chuckling.

"I was sort of off on a tangent, huh?" Her ire quickly waned as she smirked at me through the screen. She began to repeatedly run her fingers through her wavy hair, a nervous tic I knew she had.

"It's alright. I'm sorry things have been so rough. That house is starting to become a bit of a money pit…" I started, but she raised her hand and waved me off.

"Don't start, okay," she huffed, annoyed at my insinuation. "I love my little house. I know it's not much, but it's mine, okay?" Raising my hands in surrender, I decided to change the subject in spite of all the little problems that had been plaguing her tiny house and car over the course of the last few weeks, but every time I tried to talk to her about it, she didn't want to hear about it.

"Can you believe I only have two more weeks of this tour? _God_ I miss you _so_ much…" I leaned in a little closer to the screen, resting my chin in my hand. I could only imagine that my gaze would have been labeled as excessively adoring.

"I know… I can't wait for you to get home. I'll only have two more weekends away once you get back and then we'll be together so much that we'll grow annoyed at the constant attention." She was grinning at me and I could tell that I was mirroring it almost exactly.

"I'm looking forward to focusing an inordinate amount of time closely inspecting all the physical changes that you've undergone this summer." My body had been aching for her since our rude interruption earlier in the week and I was hoping that by suggestively teasing, I might just get us both off before signing off tonight.

She was beaming at my innuendo before saying, "I'll look forward to my full body inspection when you get back... but alas _tonight_ I don't think we have the time…" The pity she felt for me showed momentarily on her face before hiding beneath her calm façade.

"Really?" I didn't even try to hide the disappointment dripping from my voice. "What time's your flight?" I knew she was flying to Seattle tonight for the second city stop in _Virtuoso's_ talent search.

"It's at eight. I get in around ten thirty-ish I think. I have a call time of seven tomorrow, so at least I get to sleep in till five." She laughed, knowing how silly sleeping in till five AM sounded.

"So you're _sure_ there's no time for a quickie?" I proposed, wagging my eyebrows suggestively.

"Sorry, baby, but I still need to pack and Garrett will be here in about an hour…"

"Are you bringing your laptop? Can I have a rain check?" God I sounded like a whiney horny teenager the way I was begging for Skype sex with my woman. But after being interrupted on Wednesday, I really needed the release. No, I needed _us_ to have a moment _together_. I'd done plenty of self indulgence whenever I had a chance to be alone, which sadly on a tour bus with five other dudes didn't happen often.

"Nope, I'm going to barely have time to sleep I think. I got the schedule yesterday and it looks like every day starts around seven and doesn't really end until seven or eight. But that's only if we get through all the contestants by then. I'm supposed to have dinner with the other judges and do some promos for the Seattle market while I'm there, so I don't really see the point of lugging it all that way to not use it."

"You could have just said no," I teased, smiling at how adorable she looked even with the exhaustion creeping behind her eyes.

"Sorry, I'm just a little anxious for some reason. I haven't been to Seattle since I left for Denver. I'm just a little edgy." She was merging her hair combing tic with her wringing hands tic. This wasn't good. The use of both nervous tics together was really a bad sign about her anxiety level.

"Hey," I commanded, wanting her to really look at me. I knew from experience that she would shut down and try to handle all of her stress by herself and then end up shutting me and everyone else out. "Bella, it'll be okay," I said as soothingly as possible, barely above a whisper. "You call me whenever you need to. _Especially_ if you feel panicky. We can talk it out together, okay?" She just nodded in response, her eyes downcast like a scolded child. "Baby, do you have the valium that my dad wrote for you? Take it with you and don't be afraid to use it if you need to."

"I know. I have it in with my toiletries. Hon, I hate to do this, but I really do have to go and get packed." Her eyes reflected all the stress, anxiety, and exhaustion that I knew she was trying to hide.

"Text me when you get in and call me when you have a break tomorrow, okay? I'll be on the bus. We're traveling to New Orleans tomorrow and hopefully I'll get reception. Good luck tomorrow." I sighed as she said she would and that she loved me before signing off. My hotel room fell silent and I was alone to my thoughts once more.

Unfortunately my thoughts drifted back to my beautiful and vulnerable girl at home and wanting nothing more than to be there to support her in any way she needed. I also knew that I would be dredging up another fantasy from my collection to work out my never ceasing case of blue balls before I could ever dream of setting foot on stage tonight. Knowing I needed to be out the door soon, I jumped up and headed into the shower for another night of lonely self gratification.

**BPOV**

My heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces every time I got off of a Skype call with Edward. To be able to see him but not touch him was something that my brain was incapable of computing. I tried to hide this from him since we started these calls a few weeks back. He looked forward to seeing me and I could deny that man nothing. So I endured the pain every time we hung up like a secret badge of honor that I figured most women dealing with long distance relationships held close to their chest. To keep up the strong and happy pretense was beginning to wear on me though; causing the bitterness of being apart to spill into my life for hours after our screens went dark. It would be nice when we were in the same time zone, since being three hours ahead he could work his angst off on the stage or when sleep finally overcame him, I usually still had hours of daylight to deal with when we hung up and usually some sort of commitment to keep me from allowing myself proper wallowing time.

A knock on my door shook me from my inner dialogue as I walked over to open the door.

"Hi, Garrett, come on in, I just need another minute," I respond to his shy smile as I open the door, waving my arm in front of me to signal him to come on in.

"Miss Swan," he said, tipping his head towards me as he entered my house, removing his hat as he walked by. "I can wait in the car if you like. But I've heard the 405 is at a standstill, so if you don't want to be late, we should get going."

"Nonsense. I just need to grab my rain jacket and purse. I won't be but a moment… And what did I tell you? You can call me Bella. I'm not used to such formalities…" I teasingly chided as I walked back towards my bedroom to retrieve my bags and coat.

When I came back into the front room, I noticed him staring at a picture of Edward and I that was taken at a party Jasper and Alice had a while ago that was sitting on my mantel, a frown planted firmly on his face.

"Garrett?" I called softly, trying to figure out what might be troubling him, but I only caused him to jump slightly at the sound of my voice.

"I'm sorry. I was lost in thought. My apologies. Please let me take that." He quickly masked whatever he was thinking about and grabbed my bag, holding open the door for me to exit before him.

"One sec, let me set my alarm." I turned and punched in my code before heading out the door and letting Garrett close the heavy door behind me.

The flight up to Seattle was short and uneventful. The man seated next to me was a portly businessman from Issaquah who wanted to chat endlessly about the recent overdevelopment of his once beloved sleepy town. He kept talking long after I put my headphones on, so I just nodded every now and then until I finally fell asleep to the soothing sounds of _The Weepies _and the roar of the 737's engines.

After quickly texting Edward that I had arrived safe and sound, I flopped into the overstuffed hotel bed, allowing myself to drown in the squishy comfort of 1000 thread count sheets and the two glasses of wine I had on the plane.

My phone's alarm rang shrill in my ear at promptly five, allowing me to grab a shower and a couple of cups of coffee before descending into the limo to be taken to the Moore Theater where I'd be subjected to an hour of hair and makeup before our tryouts began. I still wasn't used to my new role and the nervous energy seeped out of my pores like the smell of stale beer after a kegger.

The morning flew by with me interviewing all of the good, the bad, and the definitely ugly side of the songwriters that had lined up overnight to audition for the show. It was approaching noon by the time I had a moment to sit down. I headed back toward the craft services table that was set up in one of the larger dressing rooms backstage. I had only made it halfway down the hall when I heard my name being called through my earpiece.

"Isabella, can you please come up to the front entrance please?"

Pressing the button to my mike, I replied, "Sure thing. Is there a problem?" I assumed one of the scouts spotted an interesting person for me to interview, but I wanted to know what I was getting myself into.

"No, you just have an admirer. Some guy says he knows you… uh, Jake I think he said his name was?" My body broke out into a cold sweat hearing a name that was so intertwined with my past.

"Fuck," I shouted softly to myself before heading up to the front. I should have known I wouldn't get out of Seattle without seeing someone I knew.

"Isabella, do you know this guy?" Sebastian, one of our 'crowd control' guys asked me.

"Yeah, I went to college with him, he's okay. Let him through." I nodded my head to reiterate that he was alright to pass. I would have left him standing in the drizzling weather, but figured that I should try to keep this conversation somewhat private. I wasn't stupid though, looking at the sheer size of Jacob I was only going to allow him inside the large foyer, still within the view of the bodyguards outside.

"God, Bella. I've been trying to get in to see you all morning. How the hell are you?" He spoke quickly, grabbing me into an uncomfortable hug. He held on a moment too long and I had to wriggle out from under his arm to get out of his grasp.

"Jake, good to see you. It's been a busy morning. Is there anything I can do for you?" My tone was professional and polite but not friendly.

"Wow, is that it? I haven't seen you in over four years and all I get is a polite greeting?" He looked put out and now that I took a moment to really look at him, he hadn't aged that well and smelled a little bit of a combination of stale cigarettes and cheap booze. There were dark circles beneath his eyes and deep set wrinkles in his forehead. After being a star football player with UW, it looked like after the spotlights dimmed, his muscled physique turned a bit mushier, maybe even about fifty more pounds of mush.

"Sorry, Jake," I mumbled an apology, not really meaning it, but not feeling like a big scene either. My chest was beginning to feel constrictive, but I knew that I needed to try and muddle through this simple conversation as best as I could. Standing up a little straighter, I took a deep breath and prayed my panic attack would hold for just a while longer. "What have you been up to?" The smile on my face was forced, but hopefully I could get away in a couple of minutes and never see him again.

"I own a large dealership a little south of the city. B&C motors. I opened it with my buddy Embry, do you remember him?"

I could only nod and smile lightly at how funny it was that he was a used car dealer. His slicked back hair and ill fitting suit should have been my first clue.

"That's great, Jake." I replied, not adding a question after it. I knew it would have been polite to ask questions about his family, but I really wanted out of this little chat before it turned down memory lane.

"Uh… well _you_ look great." He stepped back and awkwardly waved his hand in front of my body like he was a _Price is Right_ beauty. The main difference being the smirk on his fat face was causing my stomach to roll with nausea and a very, very bad feeling.

"Thanks," I mumbled uncomfortably, trying to think of an excuse to escape.

"You know, after the last time I saw you, I never expected you to be… well, pretty again. How much work have you had done?" he asked snidely, causing may breath to catch in my throat.

"What?" I had no idea how to respond to his left-handed compliment.

"You know." He shrugged dismissively. "You looked pretty fucking bad in the hospital. And when I saw you around campus after that you kinda looked like a cancer patient. All pale, sickly thin, and with barely a layer of stubble on your head. I'm just curious how many people you had to fuck to look this good and get this job." My mouth gaped open, unable to formulate words and his blatant rudeness. "I mean, come on. Look at you. You're still that meek little virgin daddy's girl from bumfuck nowhere. A lousy fuck, but lord did you give great blowjobs…"

"Sebastian!" I shouted, finally coming to my senses, as I started to stomp back towards the doors. I didn't need to listen to this shit and my flight response was at an all time high. The blood was pulsing loudly in my ears and I knew that my blood pressure was probably so high that I'd black out in a few minutes if I didn't calm myself down.

Jacob grabbed my wrist firmly and whirled me around so that I was flush up against his chest. "All I wanted was to give you the option of coming back to me and leaving that pansy ass singer of yours. If you had been nicer to me, I might have even considered not doing it, you frigid bitch!" He yelled into my face, sending droplets of spit onto me. He immediately let go, pushing off of me before storming off, shoving the glass doors open and fleeing into the busy Seattle street.

"Isabella, are you okay? Do you want my guys to go after him?" Sebastian asked, rushing to take my elbow and escorting me to a bench in a small alcove that was away from the prying eyes of the people waiting outside.

"No. Just don't let him back in." I could feel his eyes rake over me, trying to assess the situation. I just wanted to be alone. "I'm okay now. Really, thanks." I smiled weakly up at him before telling him he could go back to work. Once he left, I cradled my head in my hands and began to weep. The weight of the black cloud that had surrounded me for the past few weeks had finally taken its toll and I was starting to crack. I needed to pull myself together and finish out my day. Pulling the valium bottle out of my bag, I fingered it lightly, trying to consider if I really wanted to go back to my days of hazy indifference. It had taken me months to wean myself off of Xanax last time and I didn't want to end up back there. My head was still pounding with the adrenaline coursing through my system and I knew I wouldn't likely make it through the day without a little help. Begrudgingly, I opened the childproof lid after some difficulty and swallowed a half a dose before heading back to the makeup chair to fix the damage that I had just done.

_So much for lunch…_ I thought as my stomach growled.

The rest of the weekend went off without a hitch, with the exception of not telling Edward or anyone else about the incident with Jacob. Sebastian had tried to bring it up again, but I waved his concern off and told him that it was just an ex-boyfriend of mine who was jealous of my success. I could only hope that was the case.

Leaning back against the seat in the limo on my way home, I wasn't entirely sure why I decided to keep the Jacob episode from Edward. I knew that I would need to tell him eventually, but my initial response has and probably always will be to handle everything on my own. I was brought up by an absentee mother and a loving but reluctant father. My motto had always been if you want to help yourself, ask yourself for help. Hopefully Edward wouldn't be too upset when I finally discussed it with him.

A wistful smile fell across my face as I ran my fingers lightly over the front of my phone. It was well past eleven already in Los Angeles and as much as I longed to call him, it would have been thoughtless to call so late. Instead, I opted to send him a text to let him know I was home and thinking of him.

"Here you are, Miss Swan," Garrett said, holding out his hand to help me out of the car. My bag was already sitting on the walkway waiting for me to grab and roll inside.

"Thanks a lot. See you soon," I mumbled, walking heavily towards my front door. Exhaustion finally kicking in now that my body recognized I was home. I saw the lights of the limo sweep across my house as it turned out of my driveway just as I pushed open my door.

Flicking on the hall light, I punched in my alarm code and dragged my bag back towards my bedroom. It took me a moment to realize that something was off. The hair on the back of my neck stood at attention and I had a dreaded feeling that someone was watching me.

I spun around quickly to see a leggy red head leaning languidly against my bedroom door, effectively trapping me inside my small room.

"I've been waiting a long ass time for you, Bella…"

* * *

**A/N**

_Sorry for the cliffy – but the next chapter will be up by next Thursday – so hang on to your boot straps!_

_If you can't remember how Jake fits into this story – He's Bella's ex-boyfriend who she lost her virginity to. Along with her mother, he was the only other person to see her in the hospital after the accident. They broke up a few weeks after the accident._

_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or added this to your alerts or favorites. I really appreciate it._

_**I got the idea to offer up an outtake of this story to my 200**__**th**__** reviewer – so review away and if you're my 200**__**th**__** reviewer, you get an outtake of your choice. I'll write it after the story is complete.**_

_3 chapters left and an epilogue._

_This week's recs:_

_**The Cocky and the Cougar – by ikss**_Credit and Sales - often at war in Corporate America. When Con-Vert's new, young Director of Sales Edward Masen met 38 year-old Director of Credit Bella Swan, it was almost inevitable that sparks would fly. AH...RATED MA

_**Paper CutOuts – by **_**twistedcoincidence** Bella prefers the virtual to the actual, but feels herself being tugged from the safety of her online realm into the world of a rough edged Edward. This time she'll write her own story.

**Dead On My Feet – by ****Cesca Marie**Recovering from a serious illness, Edward knows what it is to be invisible but obvious to everyone around him. Bella, who has watched a loved one die of protracted illness, understands the tightrope-act of life in an unpredictable body.

**Up to Scratch – by Vican** Originally a o/s for the FML-Contest: Mischievous alarm clocks, inappropriate Christmas gifts and slippery ice - Bella's day just keeps going from bad to worse. While thoroughly pissed off at the world, she finds her salvation in the unlikeliest of places


	18. Burn it Down

**A/N**

_Okay how about a few props that I got this out 2 days ahead of what I promised? Or rather my amazing Beta __**Blackjacklily **__did… have I mentioned that she's amazing? Okay, just checking._

_Now don't taze me for the ending of this chapter. The next one will be up hopefully next Thursday. Don't get mad if it's not early like this one._

_Disclaimer: Don't own it, just really messing with everyone's heads a bit._

* * *

**Burn it Down**

**BPOV**

My head was throbbing and I couldn't figure out how I had fallen asleep sitting straight up. I groaned and fluttered my eyes open, trying to adjust them to the light in the room.

"Ah, you're finally awake. I was a little worried that perhaps I hit you a little too hard in the head, taking _all_ my fun away," " Victoria spat, leaning down to look me right in the eyes.

Glancing around I saw that I was tied to one of my kitchen chairs that had been dragged in to my living room. My hands were bound together in front of me by a zip tie and my ankles were each tied to a leg of the chair with similar ties while my middle was tied with good old nylon twine. Rolling my head around I tried to work out the kinks while my foggy brain tried to come up with some sort of plan to get me out of here. Victoria was still circling me like a vulture to her prey, all the while muttering to herself. My thoughts were cloudy and disjointed, but one thing I knew for sure, I was in big, big trouble.

Watching Victoria stroll into my bedroom, I tried to get my frantic thoughts in order. I was being held captive, but other than being Edward's current girlfriend, I really didn't know why she was targeting me. I was still alive, allowing me to feel a little better that perhaps she just wanted to prove a point instead of doing me mortal harm. Before I could continue my assessment, Victoria came down my hall, holding up a pair of my old faded white panties.

"Bella, if you want to keep a man like Edward, you really do need to update your lingerie drawer. Really, granny panties? Ugh…," she shuddered and dropped them on the floor. "Edward is more of a red lace thong kind of guy, don't you know that?"? "

"Why are you going through my drawers in the first place?"

"Oh, I was here all weekend while you were in Seattle. I had little to do but snoop…"

"What?"

"Tori, it's starting to get late. You need to do what you're going to do. The sun will be coming up soon…" A familiar voice hollered from the kitchen, startling me. It wasn't until he walked around the corner that I finally placed the voice.

"Garrett?" I gasped, unable to control my mouth.

"Ah, Miss Swan… such a sweet girl…" he calmly replied, kneeling down in front of my chair. A look of pity flashed in his eyes before Victoria interrupted.

"Daddy…," Victoria called out from behind me, causing him to stand and walk around out of my eye line.

My mind whirled at this new revelation. Garrett was Victoria's father? Could my life get any more fucked up? I was so busy mulling this over that I entirely missed most of what Victoria and Garrett were talking about right behind me. I knew I needed to pay attention to any kind of clues that they would give me as to why I was being held captive in my home as well as any possible way to get out of my current predicament. While my body wanted to panic, my brain was for once ruling the day trying to keep me calm and collected. At least calm enough to try and focus on an escape plan.

"Bella!" Victoria shouted my name, slapping the living shit out of my face and causing me to rock back in my chair.

I automatically winced at the assault, my hands reflexively tugging against the restraints, trying to cover my head from another blow.

"You didn't answer my question. If you want to stay alive for a little while longer, you need to pay attention." She smacked me again, with a little less force this time, trying to make her point.

"What do you want with me?" My voice sounded weak and pathetic in my own ears and my throat was dry and scratchy. I knew better than to ask for a drink of water and instead waited for her to respond.

"Hmm… that is a very complex question actually," she cackled, finding my question amusing. She began circling my chair again while Garrett sat down on the window seat, looking nervous.

My arms were aching from the position they were in, but I needed to not focus on the pain and instead use it to sharpen my attention at how I was going to talk my way out of this mess.

"Well, I suppose I should start at the beginning… " She was looking off into the distance, lost in her memory. Her voice sounded like she was telling a beloved story rather than recalling her own life. "I fell in love with Edward the moment I heard the demo disk that James brought home…"

At the mention of James' name, Garrett growled from his seat, clenching his fists tightly against his thighs.

"Daddy… I know…," she replied, glancing apologetically at him before moving on. "James had gotten Edward's demo disk and profile from Jane after she discovered him. James was furious when he came home… She had called him incompetent and told him to listen to what real talent sounded like… God, did he take his rage out on me that night…" She shook her head, frowning at what apparently was a violent memory. Her words were confusing me, but I kept my mouth shut, trying to keep up with her rambling thoughts.

"Anyhow, this isn't about _him_… I met Edward at an industry party that James took me to a few months after Eclipse had signed him. God, he was so beautiful and shy… We talked for what felt like days while James was off flirting with some bimbo from his office. He was sweet and offered to buy me a drink. We talked about his musical inspirations and where he hoped his career would go. Unfortunately James decided he wanted to leave before we had a chance to exchange numbers. It was a while after that before I spoke with him again…" It appeared as though this part of the story was happy; her anger seemed to diminish causing her posture to relax slightly. I ventured a quick glance to see what Garrett was doing. He had his eyes closed, his head resting against the wall. If I hadn't known better, I would have mistaken him to be sleeping. He opened his eyes, almost as if he felt the weight of my stare, and peeked over at me. Tilting his head slightly to the side, he gave me a sad smile before closing his eyes and resting his head back where it was.

_Okay, so Garrett might not be as on board with Victoria's plan as I first thought._ I could feel the regret wafting off of his slumped frame. I could only hope to use whatever pity and guilt that he had for me against him.

"Bella?" _Thwack_. I felt her hand against the back of my head, sending a shockwave of pain as she must have hit the same spot where she had struck me earlier. The room began to swirl as the dizziness from the blow overtook me.

"If you don't want to hear the story, I can easily dispose of you now," she sneered, striding over to the counter and picking up a large grocery bag filled with some type of grey stuffing.

"I'm listening…" Knowing I needed more time, I had to keep her talking so that I could come up with a plan. "When did you start corresponding with him?" I asked, remembering Edward saying that she started out writing to him before breaking into his condo.

"Ah, so you were listening…" She turned around and placed the bag back on the counter before pulling a chair out and spinning it around, straddling it and resting her arms along the back.

"Of course I'm listening. I'm just a little uncomfortable is all," I hedged, hoping that maybe she'd untie me. I just needed one small mistake…

"Sorry about that, but you'll live… for a little while longer…" She smirked menacingly at me before continuing where she left off.

"I wrote him letters and often got sweet responses, until one day I received the same exact response as I had to a previous letter. It was then that I realized that he was using a standard reply; one he was probably using for all of his fan letters. I couldn't believe that he had lumped my letters in with other… _fans_…" She shuddered, her face reflecting the distain she felt over the slight.

I was listening carefully to the story, trying to figure out if it was all true, even her version of the truth, or if she was delusional, her mind creating stories to fit her obsession.

"After that I went to the studio where I knew he was recording and waited for him to come out. He waved and gave me a smile hello, nodding to me as he got into his car. He wanted me to come home with him, but that night I had to go to work and couldn't follow him. It wasn't until a couple weeks later that I had the chance to surprise him. I knew he'd be excited to see me." Standing, she brushed her long crimson locks off of her shoulder and glanced quickly down at me, gauging my reaction to her tale.

"I easily broke in," she explained, waving her hand dismissively in front of her. "He didn't even use his deadbolt. It was like he knew I was coming… I set the scene perfectly; I was perched up on his countertop, splayed for him and only him…"

I had already heard much of this story from Edward's perspective and my stomach was beginning to lurch at the thought of how her twisted mind was recalling the memory. The entire time she was regaling me with her breaking and entering capabilities I was wriggling my wrists and ankles around, trying to see if there was a weak point in the ties that bound me.

"He came in, looking so handsome and surprised. He even dropped the mail to the floor before he made his way to me. He whispered, asking me what I was doing there before kissing me fiercely, yanking me off the counter and dropping us down to the floor. I had grabbed a small knife off the counter, planning on plucking the buttons off of his shirt with it. He lay back on the floor and waited for me to dispose of his clothes. His chest… God, when I finally released the last button and his shirt spilled open, I was speechless at the beauty of his chest. It was golden brown…" She was speaking dreamily of Edward's physique and I wanted to jump up and strangle this crazy ass woman. She had no idea of the torture she put him though, thinking that he was receptive to her advances. The room fell silent and I glanced up apprehensively. Victoria was glaring furiously down at me,me; her hand suddenly yanked my hair and tipping my head back.

"Just as we were about to consummate our love, he stopped me. Saying that he didn't want me, that he was in love with someone." She leaned down, getting right in my face, before continuing. "He was in love with you! _You._ The mousy girl of his fucking dreams. _You_ were the I.S. from his album's liner notes. You were the one he thanked for inspiring his song. _You._" She shoved me hard, sending my chair over backwards and my head slamming into the wood floor. I was seeing stars again, wondering if I had a concussion that she was just making worse with every whack to my head. Granted, the concussion was probably the least of my worries…

"Bella. _Fucking. _Swan!" she raged, waving her arms over her head dramatically. "He could have loved me if it wasn't for you… I went to jail because he was afraid you'd find out about us!" she screamed, kicking me to punctuate each screechingly angry word. I could do nothing but shut my eyes and wait for the beating to end. As quick as it started it stopped. I peeked out of one eye to see Garrett cradling his daughter in his arms on the couch, whispering in her ear. Groaning, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, alerting them both that I was still conscious.

I watched through swollen lids as she nodded her head at whatever Garrett told her. He stood slowly and walked over to upright the chair I was sitting in.

"Bella," he calmly said, looking into my eyes with the unspoken question if I was alright. I nodded slightly, closing my eyes to the tremendous throbbing that was emanating from throughout my body.

"Tori, it's getting late. If you're going to do something, it needs to be nowWe need to go…" Adrenaline spiked in my blood hearing that my time was running out. I needed to do _something_…

"Victoria, do you really think you can get away with this? I mean someone is going to realize that I'm not at work. The paparazzi are basically sleeping on my front porch, so whatever it is that you plan to do to me is going to be discovered…"

"Bella. Shut. Up." Victoria punctuated her words by backhanded backhanding me again before stalking over to the counter to grab the large bag off of it. "Watch her," she ordered, striding off towards my bedroom.

I guess riling her up wasn't my best choice. It was a long shot, but I needed to see if maybe I could persuade Garrett to help me.

"Garrett…" I hissed, knowing this was probably my last opportunity to try and escape.

"Bella, I can't help you. I'm sorry. Edward screwed over my daughter and I can't let him get away with that." He spoke apologetically, but wouldn't look me in the eye.

"Please…" I begged. "I don't have anything to do with their feud. Why is she torturing me?" I whined, tears finally escaping from my eyes at the realization that I was likely going to die tonight at the hands of Edward's stalker.

"You know Bella, you could have just asked me…" Victoria snarled as she entered the room, sprinkling whatever the grey material was throughout the room.

"Why me?" I whispered, my strength waning as the pain was becoming unbearable. My shoulder felt like it had been dislocated with her last fit of rage, adding to the feeling that I had been through a boxing match and I was struggling to hang on to consciousness.

"Honestly, Bella, for someone who's supposed to be so smart, you sure are stupid. Have you ever heard of that old disco song 'If I can't have you, I don't want nobody baby?' Well, I sort of feel that way about Edward, except if I can't have him, then nobody else will either… _Especially you_," she sneered, still sprinkling what now looked like lint around my room.

"What are you doing?" I finally asked, not able to figure it out.

"Oh this. Haven't you ever heard of how flammable dryer lint is?" She smiled gleefully, waiting for my mind to catch up with what she said.

"Yeah, so?" I replied, falling right into her trap without even realizing it.

"Well, I figured you might like to die the same way you _killed_ your dad. An eye for an eye or some shit like that… I know how much you _love_ fire. _This_ is just a lot harder to trace as the cause than lighter fluid or gasoline. It's going to look like you tipped over a candle in your bedroom before… WOOSH… your roof, your roof, your roof is on fire…" She sang mockingly, throwing lint around my house like she was a child tossing snow up into the air. "Burn, baby, burn…"

My mouth gaped open. "How?" I finally sputtered, unable to ask the question my mind wanted to know. How had she found out about my secret?

"God, you really are dense." She rolled her eyes dramatically before she continued. "Did you ever wonder how I was able to access Edward, and now you, so easily? Have you not put two and two together to realize that while Daddy may have been your chauffer, he was also gathering data for me? The limo was bugged, so I heard every conversation you or Edward _ever_ had. It's amazing how invisible being a chauffeur really is. Right Daddy?" I hadn't noticed Garrett standing off to the side with a pained look on his face until now. He just nodded but didn't say anything, allowing his daughter to bring me up to speed.

"I also do my research. You and your dad made headlines with that crash. It really wasn't hard to figure out what happened. Nor did it hurt that Edward likes to talk to his therapist… in the car…" She smirked cruelly. "I've rather enjoyed these last few weeks toying with you. The flat tire, the faulty fuse, the leaky roof and sprinkler geyser were all me… I loved watching your day turn to shit at every turn. "

"That was all you?" If I could have smacked my forehead at my own stupidity I would have. How could I have been so blind? I didn't have time to dwell on that though…

"Now then, let's get on with it, shall we? Daddy, why don't you go and get the car going while I finish up here. I'll meet you on the corner we talked about." She waved dismissively at her father. I watched as he hung his head, only turning at the last moment to silently mouth 'I'm sorry' before walking out my backdoor.

"We don't want to leave Edward out of this little party now do we?" She chuckled to herself as she picked up the phone off of the counter. I watched as she dialed a number and set it on the coffee table in front of me. She must have put it on speaker as I could hear the ringing in the distance. I had a bad, bad feeling about this and I really wished that Edward was sound asleep and wouldn't pick up.

"Hello?" Edward's groggy voice answered, sounding like angels singing to my condemned ears.

"Edward, good morning, sweetheart…" She replied, her voice dripping with sugarcoated malice. Sitting back down on the chair opposite me, she glanced between me and the phone with an amused look on her face.

"Victoria?" Edward asked, sounding panicked.

"Yes, lovely, I have a little surprise for you. Say something." She nodded towards me, instructing me to speak.

"Ed… Edward…" I stuttered, suddenly sobbing uncontrollably, knowing that this was likely the last time I'd get to speak to him. "I love you," I shouted before I felt another whack across my face. I felt blood trickling down my cheek, mixing with the flow of my tears.

"Victoria, don't you dare hurt her!"

"You're really in no position to threaten me," she stated calmly. "I just figured you'd want to have one last moment with your _One. True. Love_. before she burns to a fucking crisp." My eyes went wide as I watched her pull a lighter out of her pants and walk off towards my bedroom, flicking it along the way.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I love you so much, I'm so so sorry…" I wept into the phone.

"Baby, I love you too... Hang on…"

"Ah… young love. Well my job is done here," she interrupted, picking up the phone and turning off the speaker portion but not hanging up the call.

"To hear your screams my dear…" she explained before turning back around. She flicked the lighter, setting three more piles of lint aflame before gliding out my back door.

I swiveled my head around to see if she had set my bedroom on fire. The lint was catching everything in its wake alight, causing thick black smoke to fill my tiny house. I tipped my chair over, hoping to stay close to the ground. "Edward. I love you so much," I tried to shout, but with the roar of the flames I wasn't sure if he'd heard me. I knew shouting for help would only use up whatever energy and limited oxygen I had to work with. So I kept quiet and laid still on the floor, letting thoughts of Edward and my father flit through my mind, calming me enough to allow myself to accept that death was not far off. I had survived once, and perhaps I was never meant to cheat death that day and it was now my time.

"I love you so much Daddy and I'll see you soon," I murmured resignedly, before being overtaken with harsh smoke filled coughs. It was only a few moments before my coughing became too much and my eyes fluttered shut. "I love you, baby, and will never forget you…" I whispered one last time before a life's worth of memories flashed before my eyes and finally scorching darkness enveloped me.

**

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A/N

_Now don't get mad… the resolution to this little humdinger will be up before you know it! _

_And yes, Victoria is batshit CRA-ZY._

_Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted and added this story to your favorites. It means the world to me that anyone at all is reading this little diddy. So thanks. _

_**Reminder – Review #200 get's a prize**__…and maybe… just _maybe_ (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) I'll leave you a little tease for the next chapter if you leave one now!_

_Can't believe only 2 more chapters left – I know after almost a year and a half this shouldn't shock me, and yet, it does._

_Much love_


	19. Hold On

**A/N **

_Okay – here it is – see, the wait wasn't so bad now was it?_

_Thanks as always to my supercalafragalistic beta __**Blackjacklily**__ – who got this done lickity split!_

_I also want to thank everyone who reviewed my last chapter. I loved hearing from everyone, especially those of you who want Bella to kick Victoria's ass… _

_On with the show – longer A/N at the end. _

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**Hold On**

**EPOV**

_Hang on baby, please hang on… _I kept repeating this over and over in my head as I made my way back to Los Angeles. I was exhausted and yet my brain wouldn't shut off with the events of the morning rolling around inside of it.

When Victoria took me off of speaker phone, all I could do was listen to the crackle and roar of the fire that overtook Bella's house. I was already on the hotel phone dialing Emmett, trying to figure out some way to rescue her. When he told me he was actually working tonight and was en route to a house fire that had been called in, my stomach rolled. I was happy that someone had called it in so quickly, but nauseated that the fire was big enough for someone to have already noticed.

"Bro are you there?" I reflected on Emmett's words from earlier.

"You're going to Ninth and California, aren't you?" I could barely speak, tears streaming down my face, knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do. I never knew what it felt like to be impotent until that very moment.

"I am. How did you know?"

"Emmett, its Bella's house! She's inside. Please hurry…"

"Fuck, are you sure?"

"Emmett, Victoria just torched her place; please let the firefighters know that there is a woman inside that house." I was surprised that for as panicked as I was, I managed to sound calm and coherent.

"I gotta go. I'll call you later." He hung up quickly, not even letting me respond.

My foot was tapping impatiently on the floor of the first class cabin as I waited for our plane to pull up to the gate. I hadn't heard back from Emmett before I caught the first flight out of New Orleans. My parents knew my flight information and were picking me up when I arrived.

When we finally disembarked the plane, I pulled the baseball hat further down over my head and kept my eyes on the ground. If I slid my sunglasses on now, it was like hanging a big ass flashing arrow over my head that I was someone who didn't want to be noticed. Thankfully it was still very early in the morning, so I hoped I could get out of the airport unscathed.

Making my way down the escalators towards baggage claim it was the sadness that reflected back at me from my mother's eyes that almost caused me to collapse where I stood.

"Mom! Please tell me…" I ran into her soothing embrace, waiting for her to tell me that the woman I've loved since high school was gone.

"Shhhh…. Edward, she's in critical condition, but alive. The smoke inhalation is extensive, but it looks like she wasn't burned badly."

I broke down and bawled on my knees, surrounded by a thousand strangers and hundreds of bags revolving around in circles.

I prayed the same prayer that I had been chanting all morning. _Please let her live, please let her live…_

**BPOV**

Beep… beep… beep… beep…

"I'm sorry Sir, family only..."

Beep… beep… beep… beep…

"I'm allowed to be here. I'm her mother…"

Beep… beep… beep… beep…

"Baby, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have waited so long. Please come back to me…"

Beep… beep… beep… beep…

"They finally let me come and see you. Dad had to pull some strings…"

Beep… beep… beep… beep…

"I love you so much…I'm going to marry you one day…"

Beep… beep… beep… beep…

"Bella honey, please wake up. Mommy's here. Please wake up…"

Beep… beep… beep… beep…

My eyes flickered open and shut again, blinded by the bright fluorescent lights. I struggled to lift my arm, I felt like I was suffocating, my throat parched and painful.

"Oh my God, I think she's waking up…"

"Isabella, this is Dr. Graham, you have a breathing tube down your throat, I know it's uncomfortable, but please relax and we'll see about removing it soon…"

My eyes fluttered open again to see a tall middle aged man with sandy colored hair smiling down at me. I felt panic, not understanding how I had got here, let alone where I was and what was shoved down my throat.

"Isabella, relax, you need to calm down. You're in a hospital. Do you remember what happened? Just nod if you do. Don't try to speak, okay?" His words were supposed to be soothing, but my fog filled brain couldn't comprehend his words. I closed my eyes and drifted back off.

"Bella, Bella honey? It's Mom. You're in the hospital. You lived baby girl; you're going to be just fine. Just open your eyes. Edward is in the hall waiting for you to wake up, just like all your other friends, okay…"

"Mom?" I mouthed, allowing my eyes to open once again, confused at the sight of a woman I hadn't seen in almost five years.

"Oh my God, baby. Yes, you scared me. It's me." Elation was dripping from her voice but I was still incredibly confused as to why she was here and where she came from. I just wanted Edward.

"Ed… ward." I gasped, trying to say his name around the tube that was choking me.

"Isabella? This is Dr. Graham. I'm not sure if you remember me from earlier, but we're going to remove the breathing tube, so I need you to relax and stay calm for a few minutes while we pull this out okay?"

I closed my eyes and nodded, opening my mouth wider, hoping to get the contraption out of my mouth as quickly as possible.

A minute later I was gagging as the tube was pulled gently out of my throat. Gasping for air, I winced at the pain of taking my first breathe since… well I didn't actually know how long I had been in this bed.

"Water?"

"Here, take only a small sip, as it's going to sting." A raven haired nurse handed me a large cup with a straw, holding it out to me to drink.

Taking a tiny swallow, I flinched when the searing pain hit me as soon as the water left my mouth. I finally noticed that my mother was sitting in a chair near my bed while Dr. Cullen, Edward, Alice, Jasper and Esme all looked on with worried faces from outside the large window wall that made up my ICU room.

"Isabella, I'll be back a little bit later to go over our treatment plan, okay? You're going to be a bit groggy for a while, so just relax. I'll be back soon." The doctor smiled genially at me, tapping my foot as he walked back out of the room.

I closed my eyes and rested for a few moments, allowing myself some time to rouse the sleepiness away.

"Edward," I gasped, nodding my head in his direction, hoping that he would come in. He was the only one I wanted right now. I thought I had lost him forever.

"I'm just going to go outside. They said only one visitor at a time…" My mother explained softly as she headed for the door. A distinct look of apologetic sadness looked back at me before she opened the door and exited.

"Bella, oh my God. How are you?" Edward rushed in, throwing himself down and wrapping me up in his arms in one fluid motion. He was still rambling apologetic sweet nothings in my ear, but all I wanted to hear was his beating heart. To know that I could hear that above everything else made it real. I still wasn't sure how I got here, but I wasn't quite ready to hear what happened yet. Hearing the thumps of Edward's heart was all I needed to hear to know that I was actually in his loving embrace.

Feeling him pull back slightly, I released my death grip and allowed him to survey me.

"God, I thought I lost you…"

Tears were sliding down his perfect cheekbones and onto my ugly hospital gown. I reached up with the hand not attached to the IV and wiped them away with the pad of my thumb. Confusion was still bogging me down, but words seemed like a cheap representation of how I felt at this moment. I never wanted to be without this man, _ever_.

"Ed…ward?" I rasped, smiling gently up into his bloodshot, exhausted eyes.

"Shhh, baby, don't try to speak yet. The smoke did a lot of damage to your throat and lungs, do you want more water? I can get some paper for you to write out what you want?"

"I just want you," I mouthed silently, taking heed of what he told me but also feeling how much it hurt without even speaking.

"I'm right here, baby. I'm not going anywhere." He grasped my hand and sat in the chair next to the bed. We both just stared into each other's eyes, mesmerized that I was still alive and laying next to my beloved.

"What happened?" I wordlessly asked, making the gesture for a pen at the same time. I wanted to make sure I could ask questions when he started telling me the story.

"Hang on, let me find one. I'll be right back." He stood up abruptly and my hand flew reflexively out and caught his wrist.

"No!" I rasped, my voice barely above a whisper. Irrational fear of his disappearance wouldn't allow him out of my sight.

"Bella?" he questioned, looking down between my hand gripping his arm and my eyes.

"Sorry…" I glanced down apologetically and slowly released him, feeling ashamed at my erratic behavior.

Feeling fingers tipping my chin up, I saw Edward lean down to kiss me reverently. "God I missed that…" he murmured against my lips. "I'm not going anywhere. Let's just ring the nurse and see if she can get us one, okay?" He smiled lightly at me as he sat back in the chair.

We sat silently with only the hum and beeps of the machines around us while we waited for my nurse to bring us what we asked.

"Here you go How are you feeling? Do you need more pain meds? You're due for them, but you have to let me know when you need them. Okay?" she asked, handing me the pen and paper before looking at the computer and the paper read outs that sat on the shelf beside my bed. Nodding my head, I wrote:

_Pain meds please. They won't put me to sleep will they? _I knew now that I was coherent. When I allowed myself to shut my eyes all I would see would be hauntingly blue eyes shaded by blazingly red hair. No, I wasn't ready to sleep just yet.

Glancing down at my note, she just smiled and said, "No, dear. We can give you something a little lighter. We'll save the good stuff for tonight, okay?" She winked conspiratorially before walking out.

"I'm sorry to interrupt…" Carlisle appeared, knocking lightly on the door before walking completely into the room.

"It's okay, Dad."

"How are you doing, Bella? You gave us all quite a scare."

_I'm doing okay, feel like crap._

Reading over my short note, he patted my hand before continuing, "Your mom's here. Did you want to spend some time with her? Edward and I can go get some coffee or something?"

_No, I'm not ready to deal with her just yet. Please apologize for me, but I'm just, not._

"It's okay. She's pretty broken up about it. She arrived a few hours after you were admitted. She heard it on the news and came straight away."

_Just need some time to process, okay?_

"Of course. The police were here earlier and wanted to get your statement. I'll let Edward fill you in on what's happened over the last couple of days."

I scribbled frantically, _what day is it?_

"Wednesday, you've been out for two and a half days."

_What happened? Where's Victoria? What about your tour? _I was writing furiously, my head ached as I searched my thoughts trying to figure out exactly what had happened.

"Calm down, baby, I'll tell you all that you want to know, okay?" Edward was running his thumbs across the back of my hand, trying to soothe me, when he heard the speeding up of my pulse on the machine.

"Bella, you do need to stay calm. Your body's really been through hell and you need to rest. Now that you're awake, you're going to likely have some breathing treatments for the smoke damage. You have some other injuries too. Your shoulder was dislocated and you have a few minor burns, probably from falling debris. Not to mention the severe concussion and facial contusions that are still healing. You're probably going to be plagued with some headaches, dizziness, nausea, blurred vision, and will likely be a bit confused at times, even having some short term memory loss. So don't panic. It's all completely normal. The doctors here will have you fixed up in no time." He patted my shoulder, giving me a kind smile before turning to leave. "I'm going to go let everyone know you're doing okay. I think Alice is about to break down the door if she doesn't get a chance to check on you soon…" Carlisle grinned at me before walking out the door, giving Edward a pointed glance. "Keep her calm, son."

_Well?_

I could hear him chucking as he read my note while I was writing it.

"So impatient… Well how about I start with what the police told me yesterday and you can fill in your side when I'm done?" He bent over to give me another chaste kiss before continuing.

_Wait… Are YOU okay?_ I asked after taking a really good look at him. He looked terrible. Dark circles under bloodshot eyes. His skin looked sallow and a little grey. I really wanted to know what had happened, but I needed to hear how he was doing.

"You're sitting here in the hospital after almost dying and you're asking me if I'm okay?" He laughed morbidly, and it sounded like a symphony to my weary ears.

_Hey, I'm fine, see? How are you? Please tell me what happened. I'm fuzzy._

"What do you remember?"

_Honestly, not much. _My memory was only allowing me to remember snippets, but I just couldn't put all the pieces together coherently.

"Well… when Victoria called me…"

I cut him off, grabbing his hand tightly before picking up the pen and writing again. Memories quickly flashed before my eyes at his words.

Victoria

Garrett

Flames

_Oh my God Edward… my house. And you had to listen. Oh God._

I couldn't stop the heart wrenching sob that escaped when I realized that my beautiful home was destroyed and that Edward had been on the phone listening to me gasp for air, dying on the other end of the line. He wrapped his arms around me and shushed me, trying to get my erratic pulse to calm down. I heard a flurry of activity around me, but never looked up from Edward's tear soaked shirt before sleep unwillingly overtook me.

When I awoke some time later, I was in a different room and the lights were all off except one that was dimmed over by a sink lining the wall.

I took a moment to get my bearings as I woke up out of the drug induced haze. I was in a regular recovery room. They must have moved me from ICU sometime when I was out. Glancing around, I saw my mom asleep in an uncomfortable looking chair while Edward's head lay across one of his arms on my bed, his other arm lay limply around my waist. The clock on the wall said it was four-thirty in the morning. I was still groggy but felt parched and needed a drink badly. There was no way around waking Edward up if I reached up to the nearby table with my cup on it.

"Baby," I whispered, glad that my throat hurt much less than it had earlier in the day.

"Bella?" he mumbled, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. It took a moment before a look of concern once again filled his weary eyes.

"Hi," I muttered shyly, feeling embarrassed by my earlier meltdown.

"Hi." He leaned over and gave me a gentle kiss, while his knuckles caressed my cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Can I have some water?" I nodded in the direction of the table set up next to him. I didn't want to talk about how achy my body felt and the terrible throbbing in my head.

"Here," he said, holding the cup up to my mouth and waiting for me to take a sip. My throat was still raw even after taking a drink. I sighed heavily and flopped back against the stack of pillows that lined the back of my bed.

"Honey, are you awake? How are you feeling?" My mother's voice rang out from the dim corner of the room.

"Mmhmm." Edward squeezed my hand in silent understanding that this reunion was years in the making. "I'm okay, a little tired…"

"Do you think we could talk?" She was anxiously wringing her hands as she walked over my bed waiting for my answer.

"Mom, can you give Edward and I just a few minutes. I really need to talk to him about a few things first. Is that okay?" I recognized her desperate need to reconnect with me, but I still didn't know what had gone on for the last few days and curiosity was getting the better of me.

"Sure, of course. I'm going to go get some coffee. Edward, would you like anything?" She smiled nervously at us both while taking Edward's coffee order. Once she left I felt Edward's soft lips on my temple, whispering soothing words in my ear.

"Edward, I need to know what happened. Where's Victoria? Did you know that Garrett was in on the whole thing? He's the reason…" My anxious rambling was cut off by Edward's lips glancing across my own.

"Baby, I'll tell you everything if you promise to calm down. Can you do that for me?" He sat back down and took my hand in his.

I could only nod and take deep cleansing breaths while I waited for him to begin.

"Okay here goes. First, Victoria and Garrett are both in police custody, so you don't need to worry about that. Garrett turned them in when Victoria freaked out after she saw on the news that you were still alive. I guess she started trashing their motel room in Barstow and he had had enough and called the police. They picked them up early Tuesday morning."

"Thank God. What else?" I exhaled the breathe I felt like I had been holding since I woke up.

"According to Garrett's confession, he's the one that called 911. He said that while he was in on the plan to hold you hostage, he supposedly didn't know she was planning on burning down your house with you still inside of it. So he called the fire in before she even had started it."

"Now that I think about it, I knew he wasn't completely on board with the plan. He looked like a scared animal the whole time."

"I think he's trying to work out a plea deal for himself and some sort of mental treatment for Victoria…"

"It's over though, right? She won't be back?" My mind raced at the thought of her getting out in only a few months if she was seen as insane. She had attempted to kill me and while I didn't know the law, I was hoping she would be put away for a long time.

"She's under psychiatric care right now, so unless she escapes where they're holding her, she's not going to bother us anymore," he sighed, running his hands through his unruly mop of hair, looking more frail and tired than I had ever seen him. "God, I'm so happy you're okay…" He took my hand and placed a kiss on my palm but didn't release it. Instead he kept it in his hand and alternated rubbing his thumbs along my knuckles and kissing them tenderly. "Will you tell me what happened? What she did to you?" he mumbled into my wrist, running his nose up my arm before kissing the crook of my elbow.

"Can we do it a bit later? My head is killing me."

"Why didn't you say anything? Here, let me ring the nurse." He leaned over and pressed the call button on my bed, kissing the top of my head at the same time.

"When did they move me?"

"A couple of hours ago. There was a big traffic accident and they needed the bed. They would have moved you anyhow once you woke up…"

"Ah, Miss Swan, you're awake. How are you feeling?" A portly woman waddled in to take a look at my stats on the computer behind me. "I'm Juanita, you're nurse, well at least for another few hours I am." She giggled, sounding more youthful than she was.

"I'm okay. My head is throbbing. Can I take anything for that?"

"Of course, dear. Let me go grab that, I'll be back in a sec," she replied over her shoulder, wandering out the door.

"Do you want to rest for a while? It's still pretty early."

"Will you stay? I know I'm pathetic, but I'm so tired..." Tears were welling up in my eyes and I swiped at them angrily. I wasn't sure why my emotions were all over the place, but between the throbbing of my head and the exhaustion in my bones, I couldn't hold them in any longer.

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere. Shut your eyes and rest. We'll all still be here when you wake up."

"Here you go. You just rest up and you'll feel better in no time." The nurse handed me two pills along with the cup of water. Swallowing them quickly, I leaned back into the pillows and shut my eyes, squeezing Edward's hand. I drifted off to sleep feeling Edwards lips continually kissing my hand, wrist and fingers, never once releasing his grasp on me.

_I was hot, surrounded by oppressive heat that was suffocating me. Oranges and reds swirled around bright orbs of blue. I needed to get out. I was trapped, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Pain shot out of my arm as I let out a wail_, "Edward!"

"Bella, Bella, wake up! I'm right here, baby. Shhh… it's okay, I'm here.…" My eyes flew open when I felt his words whisper across my ears, enveloped in his warm breath. His hand was stroking my hair while the other was holding my wrist close to my side.

My breathing was harsh and ragged as I struggled to control it. I felt someone tug my arm out of Edward's grasp. Looking up I saw a grim faced nurse looking down at the IV I had inadvertently pulled partially out of my arm.

"Now I'm going to have to find a new vein," she mumbled, more to herself as she walked over to the cupboards to pull out whatever items she needed.

Tears were streaming down my face again, unbeknownst to me. I wasn't sure why I was crying and told Edward that when he asked a moment later.

"You're emotions are going to be all over the place. You've been through so much. I'm sorry I did this to you. Got you sucked into my world…" Edward's lamenting words hitting my ears struck me dumb.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, breaking him out of his pity party. "_You_ did nothing. That _wench_ on the other hand…"

"Sorry, sorry… It's hard not to blame myself."

"You did nothing wrong. If it wasn't for you, I'd still be that shell of a person. _You_ are forcing me to live and this little… _incident, _for lack of a better word_,_ has just made me all the more resolved. Okay, so cut it out. I'm alive, you're alive, and that's all that I really need to know right now, okay?"

"When did you get so wise? Hmm?" He pressed his lips against my temple again, before sitting down to allow the nurse to replace my IV line.

It was then that I noticed my room was completely surrounded in bouquets of flowers in every shape, color and size.

"Who sent all these?" I asked, shocked that my hospital room now looked something like a florist shop instead of the dingy blue walls that were supposed to be soothing but ended up looking drab.

"Apparently you have some admirers of your own." He teased,teased; plucking a couple cards off of some bunches nearest to us.

_B-Girl – Best wishes for a speedy recovery. Love, your crew at KDLE_

_Bella, you better heal fast. Lunch. You, me, World Café when you're back on your feet. Love Alice (oh and Jasper sends you his love too!)_

_Miss Bella, Hope you are feeling better. I miss you. Maybe we can play connect four in your room. Love Bree._

My mouth gaped open, how had little Bree sent me a bouquet of flowers. Edward had gotten very still and quiet and when I looked up into his eyes, guilt was written all over them.

"Okay, I might have gotten some flowers for her to send to you. She was so worried about you…"

My hand raised up to silence him and tug on his shirt to bring him down to my level. The kiss was warm and loving and I wished like hell that I wasn't so incapacitated at the moment to really ravage him properly

"That has to be the sweetest thing…" was all I managed to say before crumbling into another mess of tears.

I didn't have long to wallow as the door slammed open and in walked Emmett, Alice, and Jasper.

"Well… well… well… looky who's up and awake." Emmett's booming voice echoed across my room as he sauntered over to the other side of the bed.

"Bella, oh my God. Look at you. How are you? I can't believe all of this. It's just so, so… unbelievable…" Alice's hysterical ramblings were cut off by Jasper grabbing her shoulders and spinning her around to look at him.

"Alice, please." Was all he said before spinning her back around. It felt wonderful to be surrounded by my friends, my mood instantly lifted as Alice perched herself on the corner of my bed and waited excitedly for me to respond.

"Um, hi guys."

"That's it? Um, hi guys? You almost die at the hands of a psychotic crazy woman and all you can give me is 'um hi guys?'" Alice was waving her hands around her head frantically and looked a bit stark raving mad at the moment.

"Sorry, she's been down in the cafeteria for the last couple of hours waiting for you to wake up and may have indulged in her love of iced mocha coffee one too many times," Jasper explained running his hands lovingly down Alice's back in an attempt to calm her down.

"Sorry…"

"So yeah, that happened…" I smiled trying to joke about the last few days.

"So, baby bell, now that I saved your life… Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day…accept this justice as a gift…" Emmett started speaking with a really bad Don Corleone accent, causing us all to laugh, letting out the nervous tension that had begun to feel oppressive.

"Emmett, you saved me? How? God, I still don't know what the hell happened." I felt frustrated at my lack of memories. I just wanted to know everything and move on.

"Ah BB, don't worry. Your brain is just protecting you from all that shit. It'll come around." Emmett's large mitt of a hand patted my shoulder gentler than what I would have ever credited him with.

"So…"

"Well, Eddie here called me as I was already en route. I guess it was a good thing I was on the responding rig. I let dispatch know there was a person inside & well… you technically owe Johnny Allred your undying love and affection since he's the one that found you on the floor and pulled you and the chair you were tied to out…" He looked down at me suddenly and a look of pity flashed through his eyes. "Are you sure you want to know the rest?" I could only nod. No matter how bad it was, I needed to know. Edward tensed up next to me, causing him to clench my hand desperately.

"Well you were technically dead, Bella. We had to shock you twice to get your heart going again." I felt my emotions begin to unravel, but it seemed I wasn't the only one. Alice launched from her seat at the end of my bed and gave me a bone crushing hug, weeping thanks to the heavens that I was still there. I glanced up and saw that we weren't the only ones weepy. The men of course tried to cover it up, but I caught it and it moved me that I had people around me who cared so much. I wondered if I had let more people in after my accident years ago what kind of person I would have become. Alas, hindsight is 20/20, so it was silly to dwell on what couldn't be changed.

"Um, am I interrupting?" I heard my mother call from the door. Everyone's heads snapped to look at me. I could feel my face heating as the blood pooled beneath my cheeks. I had a feeling that everyone but me knew about my mother's mysterious arrival and what it meant for me.

"We'll just go wait outside. We'll be back in a bit." Jasper pulled Alice off of my bed and was quickly followed by Emmett and Edward after he placed a gentle kiss against my temple.

"Have a seat." I nodded my head towards the chair Edward just vacated.

"Bella baby, I'm so happy you're okay…"

"Mom, cut the crap. I haven't seen you in years and you waltz in here and expect me to welcome you with open arms…. Where have you been? I know I'm the one that pushed you away, but you're my mother. I was hurt and angry and you walked out…" Angry tears were flowing down my bruised cheeks and I did nothing to stop them. It felt good to release the negative emotions that had been plaguing me for so long.

My mother let out a huge sigh beside me, cradling her head in her hand, but I wouldn't let her off the hook. I let the awkward silence settle between us, doing nothing to relieve it.

"Bella, did you ever hear about why I left all those years ago? Did Charlie ever tell you?" She was talking down to her lap, still unable to actually look at me.

"No, he just said you had to go and that you loved me."

"Bella, I'm an alcoholic. I left because your father kicked me out after coming home one too many times drunk. We tried rehab when you were about four, but that only lasted about six months. When I moved to Arizona I finally cleaned up and was sober for a long time. Your dad allowed me visitation rights once I proved to him that I was on the wagon. You got to come see me regularly when you were about eight or nine I think..."

"Okay, so that still doesn't explain why you've been absent from my life for the last four years." I wasn't sure how to react to her revelation. It was shocking that for my entire life I never knew that she had a drinking problem.

She exhaled a deep breath and continued, "I met a man right before your accident. He was younger and liked to go out to sports bars and watch baseball. It had been so long since I had a drink that I thought that I could handle having one once and a while. And for a while I could…" She finally glanced up at me with damp eyes and I could tell that she was itching to reach out and grasp my hand. I wasn't there yet and kept it tucked under the blanket.

"Then your accident happened…" Her lip started quivering and she was trying so hard to hold back her emotions. "I came up right after it happened and seeing you in so much pain…" Tears began to trickle down her tanned face and yet I could still offer her no comfort. My resentment was deep seeded and even though with every fiber of my being I wanted to reestablish our relationship, I still needed time. It had been years, yet my wounds were still as raw as the day they were made.

"I would leave the hospital and walk to the bar across the street when you were having your treatments. I would drown my guilt over not being able to take away any of the pain and over not being the mother that you deserved to have. I was selfish and it was so hard. So hard to watch you… When you demanded I leave, just like you did with that boyfriend of yours, I didn't need to be asked twice. I ran. I ran away from the responsibility of taking care of you. The responsibility of being a mother and responsibility for my addiction. I'd been drunk up until about a year and a half ago. The man I was seeing finally left me and I realized that if I kept doing what I was doing I would end up dead and alone. Neither of which appealed to me. I went to rehab again, but have also been seeing therapist. I've been on the wagon for fourteen months now. I had planned on finding you after I hit a year of sobriety, but I kept procrastinating, unsure if you even wanted me back in your life. When I heard on the news that you were injured, I knew my time for self wallowing was up. So I came and all I can do is beg for your forgiveness and hope that we can try to resurrect a relationship. I'm sorry, Bella. So sorry…"

I sat there stunned by her confession. My poor wounded brain wasn't quite sure what to do with the information. All I did know was that I needed time to process everything she told me. I wanted so badly to trust her and believe all that she said, but once burned twice shy.

"Mom, I… I want you to know that I appreciate you coming here. Telling me everything… but at the same time I'm not quite sure where we go from here either. It's not like I'm eight anymore and need my mommy. You sort of missed that boat and we now need to forge ahead with some other kind of relationship, because while a piece of me loves you, a whole other piece is fighting hard to hate you. And I really, _really_ don't want to hate you. Hate is _such_ a wasted emotion." I was still looking down at my lap, playing with the edge of the sheet and trying so hard to control the swell of emotions I knew was tenuously being held back. "So give me a little time, okay?" Finally I managed to glance up and see my mother's nervous face break into a huge smile.

"Baby, I'll give you all the time you need. Just don't shut me out. Hope is a wonderful feeling to have after spending so many years in the dark." She squeezed my hand once before getting up and kissing the top of my head. "I'm here for another few days and then I have to get back to work. Edward has my number, call me when you're ready."

As soon as the door shut behind her it swung open again. Edward was standing in the doorway looking nervous and shy and worried. My stomach sank. I wasn't sure how, but somewhere in the recesses of my mind I knew trouble was lurking.

"Tell me."

"Tell you what?" Edward smirked before he took long strides over to the chair beside my bed. He looked tired; almost as tired as I felt. Sitting down, he immediately took my hand in his and kissed all four knuckles on my hand so gently it felt like breaths cascading over them.

"You look like crap," I" I blurted out. My filter was apparently as broken as I was.

"Gee, thanks…" _God he's so sexy when he smirks…_ I didn't think it was possible in my battered condition, but I felt myself getting aroused just looking at him, even in his disheveled state.

"You can go home and sleep you know. I'm not going anywhere…" I tried to tease to lighten up the mood, but I felt the anxiety still swirling around me, my nerves taut just waiting for the right moment to unravel.

"I'll go home when you can come with me…" My mouth was suddenly filled with his, and the kiss was neither soft nor gentle. It was hungry, like a man who's been searching the desert for water and it was delicious even against my bruised lips. Ignoring the ache, I kissed him back just as desperately, missing the connection that we had been so lost without since he left earlier in the summer.

After a few minutes, our tongues receded back into our own mouths and our lips began to soften and slowdown.

"Bella," he whispered, waiting for me to respond.

"Hmmm?"

"I need to show you something, but I need to know if you're doing okay. It can wait…"

"Like I said earlier, just tell me. Whatever it is. My week is already shot, so what's one more thing?"

"Here." He threw a magazine that he had pulled out of his jacket at me, but I don't catch it right away and it fell into my lap. My own reflection was glaring back up at me from the cover with smaller images surrounding it; images from my past that I had hoped would have stayed there.

"I'm sorry…" he" he muttered, sitting down beside me and I felt the weight of his stare even without looking over at him.

The headline screamed in bold yellow text about a tragic past and a rosy future until being snatched away at the hands of a psycho. Groaning, I now knew what Jacob meant when he said, "If you had been nicer, I would have considered not doing it…" The article wove the tale of my happy childhood growing up in a small town, being the popular teenager who ended up almost dying in a ditch on the side of the road while her father was burned alive in the car beside her. It got more fictional as the story moved towards the present, but I didn't care to read any more.

My insides felt raw and exposed , just like I felt sitting at a picnic table alone, pale, and sickly years ago, the photo that's now gracing the middle of the article. I don't remember the day the photo was taken, but they were all the same anyways so it didn't matter. Hoodie up to cover my growing hair, cuffs pulled down over my hands trying to disappear from the world, eyes looking down, always looking down. Never wanting to be noticed and yet someone had and it was now out in the open where anyone standing in a checkout line could see.

"I'm so sorry baby…" I heard whispered beside me as I leaned my head back and closed my eyes from the painful assault of my past coming up to bite me in the ass.

* * *

**A/N**

_Okay, so what'd ya think? This is the end of Bella's shitty week… thanks for hanging in there with her._

_Artistic license has been taken with the hospital info. I am not a Dr. or a nurse and the only time I've actually even been admitted to a hospital was the birth of my 2 kiddos… so yeah, it's fiction. Take it as it is._

_Thanks again to everyone who has put this story on alert or as a favorite. It makes my heart swell that you like my little story. Don't forget to hit that review button__**… we're getting close to 200 – so the outtake is still up for grabs… Even if you're not 200 - let me know if you have an idea for an outtake - I just might feel inclined to write it if the plot bunny is interesting enough!**_

_I was also thinking about maybe doing a little outtake if Bella hadn't survived… anyone want to see that after this is done? Just curious._

_One more chapter & an epilogue left. I'm a little sad to see this coming to an end after so freaking long. _

_Much love!_


	20. At Last

**A/N**

_Well, this is it... the last true chapter. Only an epilogue left._

_I don't own anything other than the plot – and I'm remarkably okay with that…_

_Thanks to my amazing beta Blackjacklily – who has stuck with me through the majority of this story and correcting all of my stupid ass mistakes. This would have been crap without her, so thanks!_

_I know it's been a long time – so here's where these crazy two left off last._

_**Bella was rescued from a house fire that Victoria set in a jealous rage. She was recovering in the hospital when Edward told her that Jacob sold her story to the Enquirer. **_

_Now on with the show…_

**

* * *

**

At Last

**November**

**EPOV**

After staying up pretty late working on some of my new songs with Jasper, I was finally headed to bed. I crept into my room to see Bella curled up around my pillow, sound asleep. Taking a few moments, I stood in the doorway admiring her sleeping form basked in the dim light from the hallway. She looked angelic with her mahogany hair splayed out across the crisp white pillowcase. Slipping out of my clothes, I slid into bed beside her, tugging the pillow gently from her grasp and placing it behind me. It was a little after midnight, but I wasn't quite tired and decided to catch up on some of the shows I had recorded on DVR.

I had just selected last night's Virtuoso episode when I felt Bella snuggle into my side. Smiling lovingly down at her, I gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head, inhaling the smell of her vanilla body wash. Since she had moved in a few months ago, I was getting used to having her amazing aroma linger on my sheets and clothes. It reminded me of home, which is exactly what she was to me.

The last three months had been a whirlwind of activity. After Bella was released from the hospital, she moved into my house. She still owned the property in Santa Monica, but wasn't sure what to do with it now that her home no longer existed on it. She still felt a strong pull to keep the property quaint, just like she promised Mrs. Cope, but the locale didn't warrant as much privacy and protection as she would now require. I had asked her to move in with me permanently a month after the fire, to which she had agreed readily, making me a very happy man.

Bella returned to Virtuoso two weeks after the accident, making the last of the tryouts in Vegas before they started filming in Los Angeles. She was still getting used to the notoriety of being famous, but was doing her best to handle it all with grace and poise. It had become the number one show on television this season, triggering Bella's fame to soar into the stratosphere.

Resting against my pillows, I watched as Bella began speaking with the contestants on the TV. I had gone to the live taping, but had also set up the DVR to record it as well. I was glad that I had since the midnight blue cocktail dress her wardrobe people had selected sent my pulse racing. I was watching the episode again just so I could watch her flaunt around the stage showing off her long lush legs and creamy alabaster skin.

She was just about to announce which contestant was safe when I felt Bella's little fists begin to hit my torso. She was moaning and fighting with the blankets while thumping her hands against my chest.

"Bella, sweetie, please wake up," I whispered, holding her hands against me.

"Ed…Edward?" She blinked her eyes open before a huge smile graced her sleepy face.

"Hi, love. You were having quite a dream. Are you okay?"

"Mm hmm. I was dreaming about punching Victoria in the face…" She giggled softly into my chest.

"Really? How exactly did that happen?" I was grinning, glad that her subconscious was allowing her to get back at our nemesis in some way.

"Well… I remember I was hiding at the top of a staircase at what looked like a courthouse, and then when a couple of officers came dragging her into the building, I leapt down the stairs and punched her before either of the guards knew what had happened." She was beaming, making her look like a giddy child.

"It sounds kind of _Time to Kill_'ish if you ask me…"

"Ooo, actually, I _was_ watching that before bed. You know how I can't resist a hot, sexy, sweaty McConaughey." The mischief in her eyes was a welcome sight after the many months of challenges.

"Well he doesn't live to far from here. Should I give him a ring? I'm not sure if Camila is into swinging though?"

"Ugh, you shouldn't take me so literally, sweetie." She sat up quickly, giving me a peck on the lips before rolling over to her side of the bed.

"Are you going to write that one down?"

"Yep, I've been doing pretty well at keeping track and I'm sure Irina will have some interesting insight into it…"

Bella had been keeping a journal of all of her dreams and nightmares, taking them with her when she went to her therapy sessions with Irina Romanoff. I had finally talked her into trying out some therapy after a week of constant nightmares right after the fire. I could tell that she was making some progress since she was having more dreams and fewer nightmares over course of the last few weeks. She was becoming more outgoing and confident and facing her fears and insecurities head first. I knew she was strong, but she was making progress much faster than anyone would have predicted.

"When's your next session?"

"I'm going on Tuesday before the show. We're working on my fear of fire this week. I think she's going to do some kind of hypnosis or something."

"Do you think I can pay her to hypnotize you in to never leaving my bed?" I murmured into her neck, inhaling her delicious scent.

"Hmmm… I doubt hypnosis would be needed for that…" She moved over me, causing me to gasp at the sensation of her panty covered heat over my sudden erection. She started to lean down for a kiss before quickly turning her head towards the television.

"Weren't you in the audience last night? Why are you watching this?" she asked indignantly, sitting up straight and turning her body towards the picture.

"I couldn't help it, that dress made me go _insane_. I had to see you wrapped in that once again. I also love how sexy and confident you are up there. You mesmerize everyone you come into contact with. Look at that poor sap, Jeremiah I think, right? Look at the gooey eyes he's giving you. He can't keep his eyes off your ass. Do you see that?" I was teasing her, but also wanted her to know what went on when she had her back turned from the group of contestants. My hands had wandered down to the edge of her silky camisole while my thumbs skimmed the supple skin at her waist. We continued to watch the screen in silence and my fingers began to roam upwards, floating over the swell of her breasts. I heard Bella sigh as she tilted her head back to rest against my shoulder.

"Do you see how beautiful you are? Look at that woman up on the screen. That's the woman I love. So confident, so sexy, so smart…" My nose was now running along the shell of her ear as I pushed her hair away from that side of her neck.

"God, Edward…" She moaned as my fingers pinched her nipples. She began to grind her center against my thigh, allowing me to feel her wetness seeping through the flimsy cloth she calls underwear.

"Does that feel good? Tell me, baby…" I moved one hand from her breast and moved it down, slipping it beneath the silk covering her and ran my finger through her wet folds.

"Ugh…, " she gasped, spinning to face me once again.

"Tell me, love… tell me what you want…" Grabbing the edge of the camisole, I whipped it over her head and tossed it over the side of the bed. "Talk to me, I want to hear you…," I murmured into the soft mound of her breast.

"Oh please, touch me please…" she whimpered, grinding against my hardness.

"You're driving me crazy…" I slid my fingers around the flimsy waistband of her panties and tugged hard, snapping them in two**.** Bella jerked, surprised at my aggressiveness when I continued, pulling her hips right over my rigid cock.

"This? Is this what you want?" I growled, grinding into her. I knew she was ready for me and that she liked when I was assertive, taking charge of the pace of our sex.

"Oh god…" She threw her head back as my fingers pinched her clit, giving me access to her beautiful throat.

I was nipping, licking and biting all over her chest, not able to contain the pent up passion I was feeling.

"No marks… Carmen will kill me if she has to try and cover that up, honey," she whispered in my ear while tugging on my hair.

"Hmm… I think I might leave them where Carmen won't even see them…" I flipped her quickly over onto her back and proceeded to lick and suck my way down her torso until I came to her hipbone. I stopped and began sucking and biting until a bright purple bruise started to form.

"Are you proud of yourself?" she asked, trying to not sound amused.

"Immensely, now… where were we?" I lifted one of her legs and brought it over my shoulder as I began trailing kisses and bites along her inner thigh, causing her to squirm above me.

"Baby…" she whined, tugging more firmly on my hair, trying to get me to do her bidding.

"You said to touch you. You never said where," I muttered against the juncture between her leg and hip, continuing on my quest to the holy land. I heard her sigh heavily above me before stuttering through the answer to my previous question.

"Ed…Edward. I…I… really want you to lick me… please make me cum…"

"Ask my love and ye shall receive." My brain didn't need to hear another thing. My mouth moved quickly to her wet lips, running my tongue along them and making patterns against her hard nub. One hand was massaging her pert nipple while the other was stroking where my mouth wasn't. I entered one and then two fingers into her while rubbing my thumb gently along her back entrance.

"Oh god that feels so good…"

I hummed against her clit while adding another finger, pumping and licking in a synchronized rhythm.

"Right there… oh yes, right there…"she moaned as I pressed my elbow across her hips to keep her from bucking away from my oral assault.

"Oh oh oh…" she repeated in a steady crescendo before exploding around my fingers and face.

Lapping at her gently, I cleaned her up as she gradually came down from her orgasm.

"God I love you." She leaned up onto her elbows and grinned widely down at my face still nestled between her legs.

"Mmmm… I guess it's a good thing I love you too then now isn't it?"

We made love before laying back and spooning one another. I could hear Bella's breaths begin to regulate, signaling me that she was about to fall asleep.

"Baby?" I whispered, kissing her cheek.

"Hmmm?"

"I'd like to invite your mom over for Thanksgiving. Do you think she'll come?" Bella had been working slowly at letting her mother back into her life. I really wanted to get the entire family to come over for Thanksgiving, Renee included. Even though Bella and I had been dating for less than a year, I was hoping to propose the night before Thanksgiving so that we could announce it to the whole family all at once.

"Hmm? My mom?" Bella's confused voice shook me from my musings as she rolled over to face me. "Why wouldn't my mom come? You've seen your house, right? Who wouldn't want to come over?"

"You mean _our_ house, right?" My hackles rose at the thought of her still not accepting that this was her home now too.

"No, Edward, this is _your _house, I just live here with you…" She sat up and flipped the bedside light on, glancing down at my still prone body looking pensive.

"Bella…"

"No, let me finish, Edward…" She held a finger up to my lips silencing me. If she didn't feel comfortable here, we'd need to figure something out. I had just moved in seven months ago and didn't really want to leave the cozy and perfectly secluded place we called home.

"Don't get me wrong. I love this house and I love being here with you, especially after the fire and then our _People _article, but this is still _your_ house. Do you know what I'm getting at?" She cocked her head slightly, giving me a wry grin. My eyes got huge at the thought that maybe she was just as ready to get married as I was. Bella must have seen the look on my face as something bad when she began to backtrack.

"I… I'm not trying to trap you and get you to propose, Edward… I mean jeez, we've barely been dating for six months. I think I just need to try and integrate more of my things into the space." I sat looking at her dumbfounded. She had just said she didn't want me to propose, and that even though everything she owned had burned in the fire, she wanted to integrate some of her nonexistent belongings into my house.

"So…you don't want marry me?" My mind was reeling, even though I knew it was probably much too soon for me to have been thinking about it in the first place. But I knew what my heart wanted and I really didn't want to wait just because society would deem it 'too soon.'

"Edward… that's not what I said," Bella huffed, running her hand through her hair in frustration.

"I'm just not following you, honey. Tell me what you want and need from me and I'll do it. I'd do anything for you. You _know_ that," I pleaded with her, because as much as I liked my girl feisty in the bedroom, this was not what I had in mind.

She sighed and slumped down beside me, allowing me to wrap my arms around her.

"I don't know what I want… I'm just feeling restless and I know that I don't own anything, and as much as I love your mother's taste, I just feel like I don't have a home. You know?" she whimpered into my chest, clutching me desperately.

"Why didn't you say anything until now? We can go shopping this weekend if you want. What about maybe getting a couple of the portraits from the _People_ shoot framed and put up around the house?" We had done a rebuttal piece in _People Magazine_ after Jake's exposé in The Enquirer, deciding to come out and do the interview together and allow people to see the real Bella. We donated the fee they gave us for the interview into a medical and college fund for Bree.

"That all sounds good, but I have something else in mind too…" I waited and waited for her to continue. I knew well enough that when she got quiet she was working though a tough subject for her, so I patiently waited for her to come to terms with whatever it was that she wanted to say.

"I want to go to the storage locker up in Port Angeles to get my Dad's things…" she whispered, not pulling her face from my chest. It took me a moment to feel the wet trail of tears as they slid from her face and down my skin.

"We can go whenever you want. Virtuoso's season is over next week and your radio contract is up before Christmas. I'm not headed back on tour until early January, so just tell me when and I'm there for you. Okay?" I tilted her head and gave her a reverent kiss before pulling her down against my chest. "Why don't we try to get some sleep? You have to get up in a few hours and we can talk about it tomorrow, okay?"

"I love you so much…" she murmured sleepily, kissing me above my heart before settling her head above it and falling into slumber.

As I watched her drift off, all I could think about was when soon would become not 'too soon'…

* * *

**New Year's Eve **

**BPOV**

Sitting on the balcony of our suite in Prague, I couldn't believe how quickly time was passing. Autumn eclipsed into winter and while the days grew shorter, my love for Edward only increased. Edward had surprised me with a spur of the moment trip to Europe prior to the start of his world tour next week. We decided to celebrate the incoming New Year together with no real distractions and no real paparazzi presence either. While Edward attended a meeting to discuss some pre-tour necessities, I was snuggled up on our tiny balcony that overlooked the Saint Charles Bridge, wrapped in a cozy blanket and assessing the past year.

We had enjoyed a great Thanksgiving with both of our families. It was the first Thanksgiving that I had spent with anyone in over four years and it was nice. Normal… well if you don't count Emmett almost burning down Edward's house trying to deep fry a turkey, then almost normal.

Virtuoso's fall season ended with record high viewers and the pickup for another round in the spring. My contract for the radio show had ended the week before Christmas, and I was back to happily sleeping in past seven every day. Snuggling next to Edward's warm body was heaven on earth.

Our relationship was progressing along nicely, especially after our joint interview with People Magazine. We had sat down together, wanting to clear any misconceptions that had been told not only about me, but about us as a couple and the fire. It was a difficult conversation, but with Edward's arm tightly wound around me, I spoke about my father's death, my burns, my career, the fire, and even a little bit about my relationship with Edward. We skimmed over the subject that we were a couple and that I was living with him and we were very much in love. The details we kept solidly inside both of our hearts, not wanting anyone else to know how deep our love for one another ran. I had allowed some portraits to be taken of us, including one that showcased my scarred back in silhouette, and by some miracle the talented photographer had somehow made it look like art; as if the deep red welts were black and white brush strokes across a taught canvas. When he suggested the pose, I had scoffed, not wanting to showcase myself in such a manner, but when he said he'd delete them if after looking at them I wanted them disposed of, I had agreed. When he pulled them up on the screen I was shocked and amazed that he had made something I thought repulsive into something strangely beautiful. I had allowed him to offer it to the magazine to publish with the story if they wanted to include it. Of course they jumped at the shot, putting it next to the main article dead center of the magazine.

It wasn't long after our article came out that I received an apology letter from Jacob. He wrote of the guilt he felt at using my story to bail him and his flailing dealership out of bankruptcy. His family and business partner had scolded him at his blatant lack of ethics and decency, causing him to reevaluate his life and values. While he couldn't give the money he had received for the article back since he had used it to pay off the huge debts he had accumulated, he said that he was now volunteering at a local VA hospital and donating as much of his profits as he could while still remaining solvent to inner city schools in need to atone for his sins. I had forgiven him long before the letter had arrived, but hearing him say he was sorry helped to ease the burn of untrustworthiness that I had felt only a couple months prior.

For Christmas, our initial plans had been to go up to Forks and clean out my storage unit, but Emmett had to work on Christmas Eve, so we decided to stay in town and celebrate it with the rest of the Cullen clan. I was surprised on Christmas evening when after everyone had left for the night, he walked me up the stairs and into the guest room to show me a room filled with boxes. When I turned around, Edward was looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to realize what it was. It took a few seconds to realize that he had arranged to have everything that was in the storage unit shipped down to his house. We combed through the boxes for hours, Edward allowing me to breakdown over crayon masterpieces and work through the emotions of looking at the photo albums that told of my childhood.

When I went to see Irina for our normal weekly meeting before we left for Prague, she was incredibly impressed with the progress that we had been making during our sessions, even telling me that we could begin to wean me off of the anti-anxiety drugs that I was taking. I was ready to try and be 'normal' again… whatever that meant…

I could hear my phone ringing inside, signaling an end to my musings.

Getting up off of chaise lounge I was curled up on, I walked back into our suite and answered the phone, knowing it was Edward from the distinct ringtone.

"Hi, baby, are you almost done?" I asked, hoping that his pre-tour meeting was about finished.

"Almost. We have reservations at Kampa Park for eight and I should be back in about an hour. So can you be ready to go by seven-thirty?" His voice was soft and breathy, causing my body to shiver with need.

"Sure, although if you're going to be back soon, I can wait for you to get back and maybe we can shower…" I insinuated in a deep, gravelly voice.

"Ugh… you're killing me here, baby. You can't say shit like that when I'm surrounded by big, burly Eastern Europeans…I'll be back as soon as I can."

We hung up a few moments later after promising to call me when he was on route back to the hotel.

I could feel icy hands enveloping me while a cold nose ran down my neck, startling me awake.

"Edward!" I screeched, sitting up suddenly from his chilly assault.

"Mmm… sorry, sweetie, but you looked so warm and inviting, what else could I do?"

"Why are you so cold?" I asked, my head still foggy with sleep.

"I decided to walk back from the meeting, but realized I forgot my gloves about half way here. Seemed silly to hail a cab for only three blocks." Edward shrugged off his coat and shoes before sitting down next to me on the couch that I had accidentally fallen asleep on waiting for Edward to get back.

"Baby, why don't we order room service and stay in tonight? Our balcony should have a great view of the fireworks and we can ring in the New Year right." Edward's hands were quickly relieving me of my shirt and bra before I had a chance to even reply.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep. I can hurry if you still want to make our reser-" My mouth was suddenly occupied with Edward's tongue, interrupting my thoughts as his hands smoothed over my shoulders and back, pulling me into his lap.

"Nope, I'd rather stay here and make love to you all night," he murmured against my neck while his hands moved down to unbutton my pants. The blood from my body had left my brain and was headed south, causing wetness to pool between my legs.

"You're so wet; I can't wait to be inside you. Twenty-four hours is just too damn long…" My jeans and panties were swept down my legs and strewn across the floor in one swift movement.

All talk was put aside as we allowed are hands and lips to do the talking for us. Edward flipped me over so that I was now bent over the side of couch with my ass in the air. He was caressing me, running his hands over my shoulders and down my side before reaching around to cup my sex. His mouth was moving frantically across my neck and shoulder, leaving trails of licks and bites along the way. I was shocked when his hand smacked my ass solidly, causing me to yelp in surprise.

"Sorry, baby, but your ass was too tempting…" He was rubbing the slightly sore spot with gentle circles of his fingertips.

"Mmm… so ready for you. Please…" I begged, needing him to be inside me, filling me, consuming me.

"I can't resist when you beg, love…" His cock suddenly thrust into me from behind, causing my head to jut forward over the edge. Grasping the arm of the sofa, I began to meet him thrust for thrust, my fingers seeking out my clit. I could feel one of Edward's hands moving slightly towards the middle of my ass, caressing and swirling around my back entrance, seeking approval to do what I knew he wanted most.

"Oh, God… Please… just do it…" I groaned, giving him the consent he was looking for. I could feel his fingers sliding between us, gathering the moisture that we had formed together. Leaning down, he whispered how much I was going to like this before gently inserting one of his fingers into my ass. It didn't take long for me to relax enough to enjoy the sensation of being filled completely, sending me over the edge of ecstasy. My body clamped down on Edward's cock, causing him to spill into me with a loud sting of expletives.

Pulling me back onto him, we fell onto the couch in a panting heap.

"God, I love you so much," he confessed, kissing my temple and tugging the blanket on the back of the sofa across our cuddled naked bodies.

"Mmmm… love you too…" I murmured into his chiseled chest before hearing my stomach growl loudly.

"Room service, love?"

"Cheeseburger, Edward?" I teased, knowing his weakness for room service cheeseburgers when he was traveling.

"I do need to keep my strength up if I'm going to make good on my promise to ravage you into the New Year," he teased, nipping at my neck and squeezing me tightly against him.

We ate together in bed and made love again before falling asleep completely satiated. Thankfully Edward had set his alarm to wake us up before the fireworks started or we probably would have slept right though them.

Hearing the trill of Edward's phone alarm, I rolled over and snuggled deeper into Edwards's warm chest, not ready to get up just yet.

"Come on, baby." He yanked the covers off of my body in one fail swoop, allowing the chill of the air to awaken me suddenly. "We don't want to miss the fireworks!" he exclaimed like an over exuberant five year old.

"Fine… fine… I'm up. Let me go grab some warm clothes and I'll meet you out on the balcony, alright?"

"I'll go and grab the champagne in the fridge and see you there." He kissed me gently before putting on a pair of fleece pants and a well worn hoody.

I cleaned myself up a little bit and put on some warm clothes before heading out to join him.

"Got a glass for me?" I inquired, reaching my hand forward to grab the flute of champagne he had already poured for me.

"Happy New Year, love."

"Happy New Year." I leaned back against Edward as we both waited for the firework show to begin. I couldn't believe at how content with my life I was. Though all the shit that went down over the summer, I was now feeling peace and contentment with the wonderful man at my side.

We watched the first colors explode above the river when I felt Edward pull away from me slightly. I turned to look and saw him down on his knee, holding up a tiny blue box. My heart rate exploded when I realized what he was about to do. My jaw dropped while my hands trembled.

"Bella. I've loved you since the first moment I saw you in high school. I've written numerous songs about love, but I never really knew what it meant until I was privileged to have you love me back. I know it's soon by everyone's standards, but I love you with all my heart and promise to cherish and take care of you for the rest of our lives. Will you please do me the honor of forever by becoming my wife?"

Tears were streaming down my face by the end of his well thought out monologue and I could only nod my head, all words escaping me. His face was illuminated in flashes of green and blues as the show lit up his chiseled features. I could just make out tears of what I hoped was joy seeping out of the corners of his eyes. My heart was filled with so much emotion. Not only filled with love, but joyfulness, peace and an overwhelming feeling of security. I trusted him with my heart and my life.

"You will? You'll marry me?" Edward asked again, shaking his head as if he didn't believe my answer, before a huge grin took residence on his beautiful face.

"I will. Yes…" I flung myself onto him, clutching him and kissing him fiercely before I felt him pull away again to slip the large sapphire and diamond engagement ring onto my finger.

"I love you so much, Edward. I can't wait to be your wife!" I kissed him until we were both breathless and the finale of the fireworks exploded in a cacophony of noise above our heads.

"I plan on making you the happiest women in the world," he whispered into my hair, still hugging me tightly.

"You already have…" I replied, knowing that I was finally home.

_**THE END**_

**

* * *

**

A/N

_So sad to see these two go…. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it._

_Sorry it took so long but between RL and a nasty case of writers block really threw me for a loop._

_Thanks again to everyone who has put this story on alert or as a favorite. It makes my heart swell that you like my little story. Don't forget to hit that review button__**… we're getting close to 200 – so the outtake is still up for grabs…**_

_So only the Epilogue left – that will be out in a week or two._

_So this will be your last two chances to send me some love – so please review if you want to tell me anything at all about my story._

_I also want to announce that I will soon be co hosting a **one-shot contest**, so put myself or this story on alert and I'll post an A/N with the details once they are finalized._


	21. Epilogue 1

**A/N**

_Okay – here's Epilogue 1. Sorry it took a bit longer than expected._

_I've written an alternative ending that will be posted soon if you want to read it. I'll explain more at the bottom._

_Disclaimer: I don't own it, SM does. I'm just playing with her dolls._

_**Thanks as always to my amazing beta Blackjacklily. **_

_Congrats to __**Lizzie1211**__ for being my 200__th__ reviewer – she gets an outtake of her choice if she wants. _

_Thanks also to whoever pimped out my story last weekend, as I had a ton of traffic & I appreciate it immensely._

_I'll have a bunch of Recs at the end and some info on a One Shot contest I'm hosting with Katiecav._

**EPILOGUE**

* * *

**A few years later…**

"Alex, I swear to God, I will come up there and kick your ass if you don't put Edward on the phone…" My voice was shrill as adrenaline was coursing through my veins.

"Bella, I can't just yank him off the stage. Can I have him call you when the show is over?" Alex's exasperated voice answered me, sounding annoyed at my seemingly ignorant request.

"Alex! My water broke and I am in labor. I need Edward to get his ass back to Los Angeles _now_. So can you please get him off that fucking stage?"

"Shit, I'm sorry. He's almost done with this song. I'll have him call you back in just a couple minutes, okay?"

"Fine. I'll expect to hear from him in no more than five minutes!" I shouted as another contraction hit me. Just then I heard Esme entering the house calling my name.

"I'm up here, packing my bag. I'll be down in a minute."

I couldn't believe that my water broke a month early, and on the day of Edward's very last show of his tour. He had planned it so that he would be back for my last month in case I went early. Well, the best laid plans and all that…

As soon as the contraction waned, I finished throwing random articles of clothing into my bag. Esme walked in just as I was about to haul it off of the bed.

"Here, let me get that dear…" She walked over and hoisted the heavy bag off the bed and patted my back soothingly. I could only imagine how ridiculous I looked in my towel stuffed sweatpants. "We have a bit of a drive, so we should go. How far apart are your contractions?" she asked calmly as we walked down the stairs.

"Around ten minutes. Do you think Edward can make it in time?" I was panicked, having not even gone to the birthing class we were scheduled to attend this week when Edward returned.

"He'll be back. The first one usually takes a while, so I think we'll be fine. Let's get you a little snack, as I know once you get to the hospital they probably won't allow you any food in case they need to do a c-section." I watched as she made me a sandwich and poured me some juice. I drank the juice quickly and wrapped the sandwich in a paper towel to take with us.

"Let's go. You'll be much more comfortable at the hospital when the real contractions start coming than in the car." I could only nod and follow her as she placed my bag in the trunk and placed another towel across the front seat for me to sit on.

We pulled out and headed through the dark streets towards Santa Monica where my OB's hospital was. I hadn't wanted to switch my obstetrician to one in Malibu, so unfortunately we now had to travel to the hospital she had privileges at.

"Oh shit…" I moaned and doubled over as another contraction overwhelmed me.

"Can I suggest something?" Esme asked cautiously, I'm sure expecting the wild mood swings of a woman in labor.

"Sure, if you'll promise to make the pain go away…"

"Carlisle told me when I was in labor with the boys to think good and happy thoughts that they would help ease the pain. Something about serotonin I think? Anyhow, it boosts your endorphins and dulls the pain a little. I don't know the science behind it, but I do know that it helped to take the edge off. So while we're stuck here in traffic, why don't you put the seat back, close your eyes, and think about good and happy times. We'll be at the hospital before you know it."

_Did she really expect me to think happy thoughts right now when all I wanted to do was kick my husband in the nuts?_ I must have given her a withering look because she responded with a shrug and said to try it.

Good thoughts… let's see…I was begrudgingly doing this, but since I wasn't feeling up for small talk with Esme, this would have to do.

I had just conjured up the image of my wedding day when my phone began ringing.

"Edward, you better be on a plane headed for home or else I'm going to kick you in the balls when I see you next…"

"Bella! How are you? Are you at the hospital yet? Is my mom with you? How far apart are your contractions…?" Edward rattled off a panicked string of questions.

"Edward, take a deep breath! Jeez, it's not like you're the one in labor for fuck's sake. Sorry, Esme…"

"I'm sorry I'm not there with you, baby. Can you tell me anything that's going on?"

"Your mom's driving me to the hospital now. My contractions are around ten minutes apart. We'll be at the hospital in probably thirty minutes or so depending on traffic. Thankfully it's late enough that it shouldn't be a problem. Now where the hell are you and when the _fuck_ are you getting here? Sorry, Esme…" I replied quickly, giving her a sheepish look for my language, but knew she wasn't really upset by it based on the smirk lining her face.

"Alex called around and found a jet rental that has one nearby and is getting ready for us as we speak. I'm headed there now. Thankfully there's no fog tonight, so once I get there we should be able to leave. I'm hoping to be at the hospital in two to three hours from now. So sit tight and I'll be there soon, okay?"

We quickly said our goodbyes so he could finish up some last minute details with the crew, since he left in such a hurry and wanted to make sure all of his things made it back home.

Doubling over again as another contraction hit me, I heard Esme mumble "good thoughts" under her breath.

Exhaling heavily, I closed my eyes and thought back to the happiest day of my life.

_The weather was unseasonably warm for November in Southern California. The burnt orange of the sunset was bouncing off of the clouds, creating the illusion of the water being on fire. I remember walking down the numerous stairs towards the sandy cove at the base of Edward's property. My gown was billowing around me in cream colored waves as I slowly descended, trying desperately not to tumble down them. Seeing Edward standing near the shore surrounded by our close family and friends in a u-shaped gathering made my heart swell with love. He looked so handsome in his tan suit and sapphire colored tie with the light glinting around him, making him look ethereal. He took my breath away. After we committed our lives together we lit a unity candle as the minister recited our poem._

_"Soft mists embrace two golden flames,  
Alone they search the night.  
Two souls adrift in dreams of love,  
They seek to claim the light.  
The path is long from which they came,  
But sure they are it's right.  
Two flames embrace in dreams of love,  
Two Souls - Two Hearts Unite." _

_Once the wick was lit we set the candle adrift into the ocean among the flaming azure of the setting sun._

"Fuck…" I gripped the arm rest of Mercedes as I felt the contraction build.

"How you doing, honey?" Esme asked soothingly, rubbing the back of my hand softly. "We'll be there in about fifteen minutes…"

I could only groan as I tried to breathe through the pain. My brain was still immersed in the past as I closed my eyes once again as the clenching around my belly subsided.

_Edward dressed in a classic athletic cut tuxedo was standing at the podium thanking me for my support and giving him the inspiration for his award winning song. Our evening at the Grammys was thrilling since it was our first of what would be an incredibly busy award season. It ended up being a very good year for Edward. After winning four Grammys for his debut album, he won the best song at the Oscars for his duet with Rihanna. _

_When he escorted me to the Emmys later that year, my lavender crepe dress was on all the best dressed lists, but alas I went home empty handed when Ryan Seacrest won the best reality host award. I wasn't all that upset about losing an award that only really involved me reading things off of a teleprompter, but losing to Douchy McSeacrest got my goat._ I laughed out loud and saw Esme peek over at me to see what I was giggling about.

"Thinking about something amusing?"

"Just what a douch...dork Ryan Seacrest is, that's all…"

"Oookay… We'll be there in a couple minutes, how are you doing?"

"I'm actually not too bad. Thanks for suggesting a way to get my mind off things. It didn't really take any of the pain away, but it did make the trip go by quickly." I replied honestly, just as I felt the cramping begin again.

"Try to breathe through it, sweetie…"

Exhaling loudly I tried to think back to the vacation where we conceived our soon to be born child.

_Our lives had been incredibly busy. With Edward's second album's release and the lead role he had taken in a new Broadway show, along with my promotional obligations for Virtuoso, we hadn't spent much time together for months. Edward had suggested a two week holiday in Costa Rica where we would rent a car and drive around the small country, taking in the various sites before heading to a small house he had rented for our final week there. We acted like normal tourists and were rarely recognized during our entire stay. Needless to say when we came back home we brought with us a not wholly unexpected souvenir. We had been trying for a while unsuccessfully, so we were both elated when I held up the little stick with the plus sign on it a few weeks after our return. _

_My pregnancy progressed normally and I had fared better than most, with only minimal nausea and no real cravings aside from chocolate, but Edward was convinced I was using cravings as an excuse to just eat chocolate whenever I wanted. Whatever…_

"We're here." I heard Esme mumble as she pulled into the hospital parking lot. "We'll need to go through the Emergency room this late at night. Did you pre-register?"

"Yes, I sent the forms in after my last appointment."

"Let's try to get you in before another contraction starts."

"Ugh… too late." I moaned, doubled over in the seat as I waited for it to pass.

"Okay, Bella, just breathe and we'll go in after it's finished. I think they're getting a little closer together. Do you want me to call Edward to see where he is?"

"Here, check my phone, I think I heard it buzz a little bit ago with a text message."

I watched as Esme clicked a few buttons on my phone before reading me the message.

"He says that they are departing now and that he would be landing at Santa Monica airport in about… two hours from now." She replied after checking the time of the text and the time on her watch.

"Good. He should make it back then, right?" I inwardly sighed in relief knowing he wasn't too far away from me now.

We started walking, rather Esme started walking and I was waddling my way up to the emergency doors to be admitted.

Thirty minutes later I was hooked up to a bunch of machines tracking my contractions and how the baby was doing. Esme was doing her best to keep me calm and collected through each contraction. The doctor on call had recommend that I wait until I was a little more dilated before considering an epidural, so I was doing my best to hold out a bit longer.

Carlisle showed up about an hour later, after his shift had ended, to keep us company while we waited for Edward's plane to arrive. He was only in the room for a few minutes before my phone vibrated across the table beside my bed.

_Twenty minutes until landing. Hang in there, see you soon. Love E_

"Looks like you better head out, Carlisle; he's on approach for landing."

**EPOV**

* * *

_Oh my God. I'm going to be a father today... Holy Shit. _These were about the only words that my mind could come up with for the last two hours as I waited for my plane to land in Santa Monica. I mean, I had a few months to come to grips with this since we saw the little blue plus sign on the pregnancy test, but now that she was in labor, it was really real.

_Fuck, I'm turning into an idiot. I just used really real in a sentence. What am I going to do when my child thinks I'm an idiot? What if I don't know the answer to something? Oh God, what if I'm a failure? What if I have absolutely no paternal instincts at all? What if I drop the baby on its head when the doctor hands it to me? What if Bella divorces me because I broke our baby? Oh God, what if…._

"Mr. Masen, we are on approach for landing. Please make sure your seatbelt is on and we'll be landing in about twenty minutes," the pilot's voice broke me from my repetitive thoughts of inadequacy.

"Thanks," I replied, reaching into my pocket to send a quick text to Bella, letting her know I would be there soon. I couldn't wait to be by her side. Turning my phone back off, I slumped into the cool leather seat and let my mind drift off, trying my best to relax for the last few moments before we arrived.

I couldn't believe how our lives had changed over the course of these few years. When I was just a teenager lusting after Bella, I couldn't have imagined my life any better than it was right now. Sure, we had a few bumps in the road, especially at the beginning with Victoria, but once we were living together, things started to really click into place.

Our years together were met with a multitude of career accolades for us both. Bella was still hosting Virtuoso and had worked on a few voiceovers for a couple of high budget Pixar films. I had done a short run on Broadway and had finally completed my third album and last tour with Eclipse Records.

Bella and I had also partnered in creating a spinoff label for Eclipse that dealt with budding songwriters, many who were talented with verse and not with performance. We worked with Jane to allow us to sign many of the extremely talented writers who didn't make Virtuoso because while their songs were amazing, they couldn't sing or perform them at the level a top rated television show would need. Our label created a way for songwriters to get their songs heard and ultimately picked up by artists to record. It was just getting off the ground, but was extremely fulfilling for me to help give back the way that Jane had helped me with my career.

Personally we had travelled a long way as well. After getting engaged on New Years, we were asked to be Godparents to Jasper and Alice's twin girls. They were born the summer before we got married and at the age of three were a precocious handful of blond ringlets and bossy attitudes. Emmett and Rosalie were also married that same year in a civil ceremony two weeks before Rose gave birth to my nephew Cooper. The wedding felt a little shotgun-esque but originally Rose hadn't wanted to walk down the aisle the size of a 'beached whale', her words, not mine. Then at the last minute, she had a change of heart not wanting her son to be born out of wedlock. So easy going Emmett just went with the flow of his wife's raging hormones and got married at city hall with Bella and me as witnesses. My mother was thankful for the chance to actually plan a wedding and reception for us since Emmett and Rose's little surprise took that away from her.

So now it was our turn to add on to the juvenile to adult ratio of our dinner parties. Emmett and Rose now had Cooper and one year old, Emma. Alice was pregnant again and due in a couple of months with another girl. I kind of felt bad for Jasper, who was completely overrun with estrogen.

We had decided to let the sex of the baby be a surprise because we felt there was little unknown in the world today and this was one we could anxiously wait for. We also did it in hopes of thwarting my mom and Alice's attempts at taking over our child's closet with ridiculously expensive clothes that they would only wear once or twice before outgrowing. Bella's baby shower was actually scheduled for the following week. Looks like the party's colors will be changed once our baby made his or her entrance to the world later today.

I felt the pressure of our descent and opened up the shade to look at the lights of Los Angeles enlarge as we dropped in altitude.

I saw my father standing beside his car waiting for me when I disembarked. As I got closer I could see anxiety riddled all over his face. My heart rate accelerated and I began sweating at what that look could mean.

"Son."

"Dad, what's going on?" I could tell from the ragged edge to his voice that something was not right.

"It's Bella. I just got a call from Mom that they're taking her in for an emergency C-section. Her pressure dropped suddenly and the baby was in distress. By the time we get there, you should be a father." He was trying to showcase the bright side of the situation, but having completed my degree in Pre-med, I also knew how serious something like this could be. I was in danger of losing not only my child but my wife as well. I felt the bile rise up into my throat as I sat down in my dad's black Mercedes.

"How serious is it? Did Mom say anything else? How low did her pressure go? Did they give her a steroid shot? Do you think the baby's lungs are developed enough? Oh God, Dad, I can't lose them…" I was rambling as my panic attack began swelling, causing my chest to constrict.

"Calm down, Edward. Head between your knees and breathe slowly. We'll be there in a few minutes and I'll get an update from her surgeon. We can't do anything until then."

"Dad, how would you feel if you lost Mom or Em or I? I couldn't go on…" I gasped, clutching my knees feeling the agony of losing all that I care about in one fail swoop.

"Edward you just… Shit, it looks like the press has been tipped off. I'm going to go around and drop you off at the underground garage."

"Fuck…!" I looked out the window as he continued to drive past the emergency entrance to see a handful of photographers waiting.

"Thanks, Dad. I'll see you in there. Please find out about Bella if she's still in the OR."

"Of course. I'll give you an update as soon as I have one. Now get in there and hopefully she'll already be out."

I hurried towards the door only to hear my name called out from behind me.

"Edward!"

I turned my head quickly to see a lone man holding a large SLR camera.

"So it's true? Isabella's in labor? You're going to be a father?" The swarthy man tried to interrogate me as I walked quickly towards the entrance in front of me. I did my best to keep my face blank, hoping to keep my panic from being headline news. I walked steady until I heard the ping of the automatic doors closing behind me and made my way up to the maternity ward where the nurses at the central desk pointed me in the right direction.

"Mom!" I exclaimed, running into her awaiting arms as she sat in Bella's empty room.

"Honey…you're a father to a beautiful baby girl. She's getting cleaned up and will be brought back here in a little bit. Bella's being stitched up and will be in recovery for a little bit. They'll bring her back here soon."

"Really?" I was speechless. I was a father and Bella was okay?

"Yes, sweetie…" She came behind me and embraced me tightly. "I'm a grandma again!"

My dad walked in soon after, telling me that Bella was in recovery and doing well. She had started hemorrhaging, causing the baby to become distressed.

"She may need a transfusion, but right now we're just waiting for her to come out of the general anesthesia," he explained.

"She's okay though, right?"

"She's going to be fine, Edward." He patted my back, but nudged me towards the door. "Your daughter is waiting for you." He steered me towards the nurses' station and had one of them to take me to the nursery to meet my baby girl.

After watching the nurses bathe and take care of our daughter, I was allowed to wheel her back to our room. She was small, barely five pounds, but pink and healthy. With dark blue eyes that would likely change over the course of a few months, she had a small tuft of dark hair lining her head and was perfect in every way.

By the time I made it back to our room, Bella was back and looking weak and incredibly pale.

"Baby." I sighed, exhaling a breath that I felt like I had been holding since hearing she was in danger. I pushed the rolling bassinet into the room towards my mother and walked purposefully towards Bella, giving her a kiss as if my life depended on it. "God, I was so worried about you. How are you feeling?"

"Ugh, I've been better… Wait! How's the baby? What did we have? " she asked, frantically trying to sit up a little but winced inbut stopped short, wincing in pain.

"Oh, God. She's a beautiful baby girl, sweetie. She's five pounds two ounces, eighteen inches long and absolutely perfect." I picked up our daughter and handed the swaddled bundle into Bella's awaiting arms.

Bella was in awe as she let our daughter clutch on to her finger. I saw a tear streak down her face as she smiled so tenderly at our offspring.

"What should we name her?" We had discussed a few options early on but had wanted to wait until her arrival before settling on a name.

"How about Kathryn Esme? Or Kate for short?" Bella suggested, causing both my mother and father's heads to jerk up from the private conversation they had been having.

"You want to name her after Gran?" My dad asked, his voice sounded tight with emotion.

I just smiled and looked at Bella for confirmation. We both nodded and smiled serenely at Kate, the newest addition to our little family.

After spending a little time with their granddaughter, Mom and Dad headed out around dawn to try and get some sleep. Bella had been dozing for a while and I just couldn't stop watching them both in awe. I was a father and a husband and happier than I could ever have imagined. The thought of losing my family was incomprehensible now. The future would not be all springtime and roses, but with Bella and now Kate by my side, I knew we'd be just fine.

* * *

**A/N**

_Thanks for reading, reviewing, adding as a favorite and recommending. I appreciate it so freaking much!_

_I've written a little alternative ending that's not quite as HEA as this one, so read it only if you want something a little less fluffy. It'll be posted soon._

_If this is the end of your journey with TRIBE, thanks so much for your reading attention. I know there's a lot of great fic out there, so I appreciate you taking some time and reading this little story. I'm sad to see these characters go, but it's time, right? After a year and a half, it's time. _

**Unity poem by Harold Douglas**

* * *

_Please take a peek at my profile for info about our O/S contest – __**Twisted Twilight Tales - **stories due mid-Jan_

_Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty...these are all stories that we grew up with and loved. So why not combine the things we love from our past with something we love in the present? That is exactly what is happening in the Twisted Twilight Tales One Shot Contest. _

_This is an any pairing, anonymous O/S contest where the heart of the story has to be based on a fairy tale. You can make it as modern as you want to or stick as closely to the original story as you please. In your mind is Bella a maid that finds an invitation to her bosses party in a retelling of Cinderella or is Alice an innocent in girl running from her past in your version of Snow White well whatever your spin past, present, or future, dark and twisted or Lemony and Fluffy it's all allowed here._

* * *

_Okay – here is a huge __**list of recs for you**__. These are ones that I am in love with. So check them out if you are looking for something new._

_**Friday's at Noon**__ - __troublefollows1017_Edward Masen's life intersects with Bella's at the restaurant he dines at for lunch every Friday. He's handsome, arrogant, and is used to avoiding love. She isn't impressed by the things that usually have women falling at his feet. AH/AU.

_**Take a little trip**__: by Kristenlynn _In high school, geeky Edward tutored popular Bella. It ended badly. Four years later, Edward reappears in one of grad student Bella's classes. Both have changed. A lot. Will it be enough? AU/AH,OOC

_**Up to Scratch:**__ by Vican _Originally a o/s for the FML-Contest: Mischievous alarm clocks, inappropriate Christmas gifts and slippery ice - Bella's day just keeps going from bad to worse. While thoroughly pissed off at the world, she finds her salvation in the unlikeliest of places

_**First & Ten:**__Nolebucgrl _Bella Swan is an aspiring sports writer and her first big assignment is to interview the league's biggest, not to mention hottest, quarterback. Will Edward Cullen school her in the rules of the game or will she teach him a thing or two? Rated M.

_**Doctors Orders:**__mybluesky _Nurse Swan vows to never date a doctor, presuming them all to be egotistical jerks. But will she change her mind when she starts a new job and meets the handsome Dr. Cullen, or will his advances only strengthen her resolve? AH, OOC, Rated M

_**Sold, Sight Unseen**__ – __quothme _The odds of him dialing her phone number are 3,720 to 1. Yet he does. Their chance conversation leads to something more. Something silly, then serious and a little scary. But in a good way

_**A room with a view**__ – shorthappylife _Endless scripts to read, a tyrant boss to tolerate, and a rather lackluster personal life. It was a good thing Bella Swan's office provided the perfect view of the building's hotshot lawyer. Now if only they'd share more than a glance each day. E/B

_**Sex Shops & Lollipops**__**: **__il-bel-mondo _Bella's a determined professional, her career takes priority in her life. With no time to date she decides to get herself a B.O.B. When it leaves her less than'satisfied' she returns to the store & meets a sexy manager who offers to show her the bunny way

_**Green**__**: **__Bratty-Vamp _What happens when lawn-boy, geek, and self-proclaimed social leper finds himself in a situation that shakes his comfortable invisibility? Will he stay green? AU- All human.

_**Died and Gone to Heaven**__ – DoUTrustMe _Accidents happen. Sometimes you die and meet God. Sometimes you live and meet SexGod. B&E. AH. AU.

_**The Cube trilogy**__ –sdfreeze _Bella is a unique girl, to say the least, and meets Edward when he needs to learn a different way to live. She helps him look at the world in a whole new way and find true love.


	22. Epilogue Alternate Ending 'Only Hope'

**A/N**

_Okay –according to my magnificent beta **Blackjacklily**, this one needs to have a bit of a tissue warning…_

_If at the end you need a big ol'hug, go back and read the first epilogue or At Last, and it will take you back to that happy place._

_Thanks again for reading & please review – I'd love to know what you think!_

* * *

**Epilogue – Alternate Ending 'Only Hope'**

I saw my father standing beside his car waiting for me when I disembarked. As I got closer I could see the anxiety riddled all over his face. My heart rate accelerated and I began sweating at what that look could mean.

"Son."

"Dad, what's going on?" I could tell from the ragged edge to his voice that something was not right.

"It's Bella. I just got a call from mom that they're taking her in for an emergency C-section. Her pressure suddenly dropped and the baby was in distress. By the time we get there, you should be a father." He was trying to showcase the bright side of the situation, but having completed my degree in Pre-med, I also knew how serious something like this could be. I was in danger of losing not only my child but my wife as well. I felt the bile rise up into my throat as I sat down in the black Mercedes of my fathers.

"How serious is it? Did Mom say anything else? How low did her pressure go? Did they give her a steroid shot? Do you think the baby's lungs are developed enough? Oh God, Dad, I can't lose them…" I was rambling as my panic attack began swelling, causing my chest to constrict.

"Calm down, Edward. Head between your knees and breathe slowly. We'll be there in a few minutes and I'll get an update from her surgeon. We can't do anything until then."

"Dad, how would you feel if you lost Mom or Em or I? I couldn't go on…" I gasped, clutching my knees feeling the agony of losing all that I care about in one fail swoop.

"Edward you just… Shit, looks like the press has been tipped off. I'm going to go around and drop you off at the underground garage."

"Fuuuuck…" I looked out the window as he continued to drive past the emergency entrance to see a handful of photographers waiting.

"Thanks, Dad. I'll see you in there. Please find out about Bella if she's still in the OR."

"Of course, Edward. I'll give you an update as soon as I have one. Now get in there and hopefully she'll already be out."

I hurried towards the door only to hear my name called out from behind me.

"Edward!"

I turned my head quickly to see a lone man holding a large SLR camera.

"So it's true? Isabella's in labor? You're going to be a father?" The swarthy man tried to interrogate me as I walked quickly towards the entrance in front of me. I did my best to keep my face blank, hoping to keep my panic from being headline news. I walked steady until I heard the ping of the automatic doors closing behind me as I made my way up to the maternity ward where my mom was sitting in the waiting room.

"Mom!" I exclaimed, running into her awaiting arms.

It was only a moment before my world came crashing down around me.

"She didn't make it. Bella didn't make it. You have a daughter and she's beautiful, but Bella…. She, she didn't make it…" Esme was sobbing into my arms as my brain slowly made sense of what she said.

"Oh my god, she's gone?" I rhetorically asked, before I fell to the ground in an empty heap.

* * *

Anna Marie Bernhard…

Ryder Alex Callahan…

Stephan Peter Cimmian…

Madison Skylar Coughlin…

Kathryn Isabella Cullen…

Standing up, I made my way across the stage to accept my diploma from our principal, who was wearing a remarkably ugly gold gown with crimson stripes down the arms. As I moved my tassel to the other side of my mortarboard, I looked out into the crowd and smiled so that my father could get a picture.

I saw my dad grinning proudly at me, snapping photos with my nana and papa Cullen on one side and my grandma Dwyer on the other. Glancing across the room, I saw that Uncle Emmett, Aunt Rose and my cousin Emma were seated not far from them. Cooper had a final today and couldn't make it. My heart swelled when I saw Everett, my best friend and boyfriend of three years, whooping and hollering, cheering my accomplishment. I saw his mom and dad sitting behind my own family as I gave a small wave before walking down the steps and back to my seat.

It had not been easy getting here. From what my nana told me, Daddy was a mess for a really long time. Actually he still is, but I remember him saying to me when I was young that if it wasn't for me he wouldn't be here. It was a heavy burden for a child to bear, being the sole reason for someone's existence.

After I was born my nana said that he stayed in his room all day, not eating or drinking or even sleeping. He would just lie on the bed staring into space. She said that one day she'd had enough and picked him up in his clothes, threw him into the shower, and doused him with cold water to finally get his attention. She told him that while my mother was dead, I was not and that I needed a father. He snapped out of it then and would only really fall into the bone crushingly tight grasp of depression occasionally. Certain dates triggered it; unfortunately one of them was my birthday. I'll always remind him of what he's lost. I know he tries to be cheerful during the day in my presence, but he doesn't know I hear him sobbing into his single malt scotch after I've supposedly gone to bed after the candles on my birthday cake have long been blown out.

He stopped making music after I was born and put all of his instruments into one of the guest rooms that I was forbidden to enter. I remember sneaking up to the room one day when I was four or five. Carmen, my nanny, was busy watching her favorite tele-novella. I slid my tiny fingers across his piano and plunked out a simple tune that I had heard before. When my father caught me, he yelled, and sent me to my room. He fired Carmen on the spot and hid in his room for three days. Nana allowed me to play piano at her house and secretly gave me lessons whenever I went over there. Daddy was astonished the day he came to pick me up early and found me playing Mozart at the age of nine. Something must have changed between those four years because he hugged me tightly and apologized over and over, murmuring into my ear.

Our relationship improved then, with the words of music to forge a mutual understanding between us. It took him another couple of years before he wrote music for the general public again, much of which was a watered down version of something he had written about his love, loss and heartache.

Some days it still felt like he blamed me for her death, but I really couldn't blame him when I heard the stories from Everett's parents or my Uncle Em. They each told about their fated love story that was cut entirely too short.

I decided to turn my attention once again to the ceremony, knowing that Everett should be coming up soon.

Allison Macy Williams

Grady Spencer Williams the third…

Everett Brandon Whitlock

I watched as my sandy haired boyfriend sauntered across the stage, looking casually cool, just like he always did. He got his disposition and musical talent from his dad, but his shockingly blue eyes are his mom's. We had been best friends since I could remember, being the youngest two kids of my dad's circle. Of course, Uncle Emmett doesn't let Everett forget that he was supposed to have been a girl based on the initial ultrasound. Mr. Jasper just smiles and doesn't say anything, but from the look he gives Everett, he wasn't disappointed by the overall outcome.

The ceremony ended and I met up with our families just outside the Performing Arts School's gymnasium where our graduation just took place.

"Kate!" I heard shouted across the parking lot, and before I can turn to find the source, I'm locked into a steely embrace by Everett. "God, how boring was that…I wish they would have let us sit wherever we wanted, then I wouldn't have been stuck next to Mackenzie. Good Lord that girl talks nonstop!"

I could only smile serenely, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before we were surrounded by his parents.

"Hey, guys, are you ready?" Mr. Jasper patted Everett on the shoulder, indicating that we needed to leave if we're going to make our reservation at the restaurant where we'd be celebrating.

"Sure, Dad. Can Kate come with us? It's only a couple miles…"

"Actually, I think Edward wanted to spend a few minutes with you, Kate. We'll meet you there in a bit, okay?" Mr. Jasper nodded towards where my dad was now awkwardly standing beside his dark Volvo sedan.

"Um, okay. See you in a bit?" I leaned in and gave Everett a quick kiss and sauntered off towards the car.

"Hi, Daddy…"

"Hi, baby. Congratulations. I'm so proud of you guys…" His arms encircled me as he placed a kiss to the top of my head.

"Thanks! So are you ready to go?" I pulled open the door and settled into my seat and waited for dad to get in.

"Um…I… Before we go, I have something for you." My dad wasn't usually so shy. I couldn't figure out why he was blushing like a school girl as he held out a small box and card for me to take.

"Thanks, Dad."

"Um… you can open the present first if you want. The card's kind of mushy…" He chuckled, running his hand behind his neck nervously.

Ripping the paper, I opened the tiny box and pulled a necklace of interlinked hearts with a large sapphire encircled with diamonds in the middle of the bottom one.

"Dad, it's beautiful…" I murmured, but pulled it closer to really look at the details. The top one was larger and looked like the thick metal had been bent into the shape of a heart, while the other was daintier and interlinked with the first one. The jewel in the middle was tickling the recesses of my memory, when it finally came to me.

"Is this mom's engagement ring?" The ring had been masterfully sculpted into a heart with the engagement stone set in the middle.

"Yes, it's actually both of our rings. The top one was my wedding band and the bottom one is your mom's ring. I just wanted something for you to remember how special you are. I know I've screwed up a lot, but your mom's been gone a long time and I thought that maybe it was time to make the ring into something more meaningful now. I had it custom made for you… It's time…" He sighed, looking off into the distance. I didn't know what it was time for, but didn't want to press him as these times of clarity and sharing between us was usually few and far between. I wanted to savor these moments since I would be leaving for Juilliard in a couple of months.

Everett got into Yale and we were hoping that our relationship would survive the long commute between the two. We were headed off on a cross country adventure two weeks before school started. I would be leaving my car behind, as there wasn't anywhere for me to park her in the city. Well, that's not entirely true, since my father had an apartment there, but I was trying to do this on my own, without his name or help. Okay who was I kidding; he was paying the tuition and room and board, but still. I wanted to experience college as anonymously as possible. Not the child of the late Isabella Swan or daughter of musical legend Edward Masen. Dad had named me Cullen for a reason, to give me a chance at being normal. He didn't connect to Masen aside from it being a stage name. So I was going off into the great blue yonder as a relative unknown, or so I hoped.

"Kate?" My dad called me out of my thoughts.

"Hmmm?"

"Do you like it? The necklace? I know your Nana and Papa have something else for you…"

"Daddy, I love it. I'll wear it always. Thank you." I leaned over the console of the car and hugged him tightly. "I love you, Daddy," I whispered before settling back into my seat.

"Love you too, baby…" He replied, starting up the car and driving off towards the restaurant. I fingered the envelope, curious to read what he had written to me. Sliding my finger under the edge, I ripped the seal and pulled the card out.

The front was a generic 'for my daughter on her graduation' cards, but when I opened it, I was shocked to see it was completely filled with his neat script.

_Dearest Kathryn,_

_I can't believe you're graduating from high school already. It feels like only yesterday that I was holding you in the middle of the night in that old rocking chair, keeping me sane when I couldn't sleep. Do you know that I used to go into the nursery and pick you up, even when you would be sound asleep, just so that I could hold your swaddled little body against mine? Your tiny breaths would soothe me and I would fall asleep holding you against my chest. Your Nana used to warn me that you'd never learn to go to sleep on your own if I held you all the time, but I just couldn't bear the thought of something happening to you too. So I would rock you almost every night for your first couple years of life. _

_I know I don't say it often enough but thank you. Thank you for being such a wonderful daughter. You held me together when I was falling apart, even if you didn't know it. You make me proud each and every day. I really wish your mom could see you now. She'd have been so proud of you too. She loved you from the very first time we heard your heart beat at the doctor's office. She spent hours talking and reading to you when you were in the womb, even inflicting my music on you by placing headphones around her swollen belly. _

_She came to me in a dream once when you were still just a baby. It was on a rare night when I had actually slept long enough to dream, but she came and told me not to worry about her. She had given me her gift to the world, __you__. She told me that she wasn't supposed to have survived the accident and that fate intervened long enough for her to deliver you to me. She whispered sweet nothings and told me to love and cherish you eternally. She wanted me to remind you that she will love you forever and will be watching over you always. I'm sorry it has taken until now to deliver that message so succinctly. I never meant to keep it from you, but as you know; my heart will never be fully healed when it comes to your mother._

_I want you to know how proud I am of you. Getting in to Juilliard is an accomplishment in and of itself, but you did it your own way. I realize that my way is not the only way and I'm sorry it took me so long to see that you can have a voice too. For someone who writes music and lyrics all day, I feel that I'm not being very clear. So I apologize again for that. Just remember that no matter where you are, I'll always love you and should you ever need anything, I will answer your call. _

_I love you and hope you'll forgive me all my past transgressions. I really tried to be the best father I could and I'm sorry for how far I fell short from the measurement I had hoped to reach. So go and take on the world in your own way and I'll be here to back you up whenever you need it._

_All my love,_

_Dad_

"Oh, Daddy…" I sobbed, looking up from my card through wet lashes to see tears sliding down his own face.

"I love you, baby girl. I'm going to miss you so much… You've made these last eighteen years bearable. What am I going to do without you?" He wiped away his tears and pulled up to the valet before leaning over to hug me. I clung to him desperately as we murmured words of love and appreciation.

I realized now that those times I thought he was being distant and cold, he was actually trying to stay strong enough for me so that he could cling to me for strength at night. While I could never get those years back, we could forge a new path of understanding and hopefully we'd be able to hold each other up when the other was weak. He was the best dad a girl could have, especially since he was the only one I had, wanted or needed.

* * *

**A/N**

_So this is it. Thanks again for reading my little story. It means the world to me that took time out of your busy life to read it. Please leave me one last review before you go. I'd love to hear your thoughts._

_And so it is with a little pride and a lot of sadness that I select __**Complete**__ on this little ditty._

_I'll probably put any outtakes that are requested in another listing, so add me to your author alert and you'll know about it!_

_**Don't forget about the One Shot Contest – Twisted Twilight Tales – Info is in my profile and stories are due January 15**__**th**__**!**_

_Thanks again for taking this journey with me… MCGT_


	23. Info on Futuretake & teaser

**This will be the last ever A/N for Twilight Reflected in Brown Eyes**

I am donating a **happily ever after futuretake** for the Fandom for Sexual Assault Awareness. Please see my profile on how to donate to receive the compilation of lots of wonderful author's work. If you can't contribute to this amazing cause, I will be posting the outtake in early August, so please be sure to add my **TRIBE outtake** listing to your story alerts.

I already have posted a High School outtake if you want to check that out as well. It's under the **TRIBE Outtake** listing in my profile.

Here's a little teaser in case you're curious. This takes place ~15 years after Epi #1 left off. Enjoy!

* * *

_EPOV_

_Bella had been going nonstop since I left; handling everything from getting Kate to all of her piano classes and recitals along with Gavin's various sporting events. She'd been a trooper and I couldn't wait to show her my deepest appreciation when I got my hands on her. All over her. My mind was just drifting off into rated-x land when the pilot's voice interrupted._

_"We are on our initial descent into Los Angeles International Airport. Flight Attendants, please prepare the cabin for landing."_

_"Mr. Masen, is there anything I can get for you before landing?" the perky red headed first class attendant asked, just as I pressed the button straightening my seat back. She flashed me a coy smile, which even after all these years, people's flirting attempts made me wildly uncomfortable. It didn't help that her hair color was only a shade off from Victoria's._

_"No, thanks. I'm fine," I mumbled, shifting my eyes back to the window and the tiny houses and streets below. Ever since the incident with Victoria, red-heads creeped me out, and even after spending years and years in therapy, I had a hard time being in the same room with anyone who had a shade remotely as shocking as the woman who tried to ruin my life._

* * *

So - there is a little snippet. I loved writing TRIBE and am going to miss it so very much, but I have a few things coming soon.

I'm writing a new full length fic - called **Behind The Velvet Rope - The Emmett Chronicles** - it will be told all from Emmett's POV, but will be about all the sordid things that go on at a nightclub. Our favorite characters will all be included, so if that sounds like something up your alley, put me on alert.

I'm also donating a new O/S called **Dreams He Sold Her** for the Fandom For Storms. Bella's a naive girl who meets a mysterious man at a bar one night. They spend two weeks together before he has to ship off to foreign lands for work. Will he be back to fulfill all the promises he made? Details are on my profile if you want to donate or you can find it here in August.

I'm on twitter - mcgt2008

Thanks again for your support and I appreciate you reading my stories. I love reading your reviews and getting the alerts. It makes my day, so thanks!

Much love,

Mcgt


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